In case you fell asleep in history class or use search engines for truly disgusting things, Zama refers to the very last battle of the Second Punic War...which resulted in the beginning of fall of the Carthaginian Empire (All whimsy up in this motherfucker, eh?) Musically...oh shit you should vaguely know the Culture Club reference. That aside, tonight marked round 2 of The Voice's Battle Rounds. Adam, Cee-Lo, X-Tina and Blake would go on to make the following decisions that heavily affected the marklar competing (Remember...I don't give a marklar if you hate this reference.)
Let's play rough and get it on! *PROGRAMMING ALERT: The format appears to mimic that of S4 where Round 2 of the Battles are 1 hour long with a montage of people that made it. Wow, great -_-*
First up, Jacob Poole V.S. Matthew Schuler of Team X-Tina. They were given "My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up)" by Fall Out Boy. I went in wanting Matthew to win. On paper, Jacob seemed to have edge as X-Tina noted Matthew could be overzealous and "step" on his toes. Still, I don't know if the song complimented either one. Maybe something to the effect of "So Complicated" by The Noisettes could've made this a little more even. The battle commenced and to be honest they did measure up; although Matthew sounded more in control of his breath and better than Jacob. X-Tina ended up picking Matthew to win. Jacob ended up eliminated, but I wasn't that surprised. Lung capacity will always prevail over someone who looks the part better (Eww; I sounded pretentious there.)
Second of the night, Kat Robichaud V.S. R. Anthony of Team Cee-Lo. They were assigned "I Don't Want To Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith. Ugh, this seemed one-sided as hell as a rock song benefitted CopyKat (No one that tries to be like Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel deserves to win.) R. was told to pick and choose his runs and I could give a rat's ass what CopyKat got as initial commentary. The battle commenced and I found myself hoping this wouldn't turn into the tiger-fucking that was Beverly McClellan V.S. Justin Grennan in S1. Personally, I was kind of happy that R. stepped up to the plate; CopyKat sounded like she was getting skinned *shaaaaaaaaaaaaaade*. Cee-Lo ended up picking Kat to win. Sadly this did end up like the tiger-fucking I feared it would and R. ended up going home. Kat seriously needs to drop her imitation of Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel in the Knockouts if she wants to be taken seriously.
Great...a fucking montage...this is who won of the following matches...
Cole Vosbury V.S. Lupe Carroll of Team Cee-Lo; they sang "Africa" by Toto. Cole won.
E.G. Daily V.S. Sam Cerniglia of Team Blake.;they sang "Let's Give 'Em Somthing to Talk About" by Bonnie Raitt. E.G. won.
Ashley Dubose. V.S. Justin Blake; they sang the duet X-Tina recorded with Blake for Lotus. Ashley won.
Finally, Monika Leigh V.S. Ray Boudreaux of Team Blake. They were given "Some Kind of Wonderful". Cher read Blake to filth by saying "I've been working. I don't just sit on my ass and punch a little button." Aside from that, I wanted Monika to win just because I remembered her Joss Stone vibes being so much better than Ray. The battle commenced and personally I thought this was generally blase compared to the last episode's battles. Still, Monika dropkicked Ray down a flight of stairs. Blake ended up picking Ray to win. Monika did get stolen by Cee-Lo so that justified everything.
All in all, this may have been weaker than last episode's battles, but fuck it; I love the show through and through and certain people should've been made Carthaginians instead of Romans (Nerd alert, bitches.)
Up next for scrutiny; The Battle Rounds Part 3.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
The Voice U.S. S5 Recap: Serving Antietam Realness
Some intellect must be conveyed for someone who uses this blog to recap a televised singing competition that's worth a damn. Tonight marked Round 1 of the Battle Rounds of The Voice and these are the nouns, pronouns and marklar that commenced. Keep in mind, some contestants can be saved from premature finishes (From a certain line of Durex brand condoms sold mainly in Europe) on the show.
Let's play rough and get it on!
The first duo serving Antietam realness through song was Grey and Nic Hawk from Team Adam. My hope was that Nic either improve or Grey wipe the floor with him. They performed "Domino" by Jessie J. Nic did call himself a "Jessie J" type of singer, so that alone gave him a slight edge. Grey actually performed with this song with her wedding band so that's edge in her favor. Both are surprisingly even, but I was hoping Grey would end up more vibrant than Nic. Nic's persona took over and Grey was actually singing (Funny how singing is supposed to be done on The Voice). Adam ends up picking Grey to stay and I agree. Persona is one thing, but Nic still cannot sing as of yet. May I suggest watching Cody Belew's performances? Then, Blake screws everything up by stealing Nic. Ugh, I understand to some degree, this whole "stage presence" crap, but it has to apply where needed. Nic is not that good enough to steal. It isn't MrSwearword V.S. Everyone for nothing.
Second, Amber Nicole and Timyra-Joi of Team X-Tina. Amber came in fodder and Timyra was the youngun who got 3 chairs. They were given "Listen" by Beyonce from the Dreamgirls soundtrack. Amber seemed to have the edge in rehearsals but I was afraid Timyra would be given the victory because of her "youngun" stature. The end result was one of the more evenly matched, but I was still hoping Amber would win; if not, at the very least get a steal. X-Tina ended up picking Amber to win. I knew she would from her rehearsals. Timyra-Joi ended up not being stolen, but for a 15 year old she was one of the best youngun contestants to be on the show. Still, Amber prevailed and I was happy. Also worth mentioning, Amber evolved from montage victim to potential front runner.
Third, Justin Chain V.S. Shelbie Z. from Team Blake. Despite the country bait, I actually had Shelbie in mind to win. They were given "Don't You Wanna Stay" by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson. Cher's presence is enough to make Shelbie Z. choke up at first until she proved she could wipe the floor with Justin. Worth noting? Cher's wig did improve from her S4 finale follicle fiasco (Alliteration provides the ground for shade). Admittedly, for "Bama Country Bait", Justin is sexy...but Shelbie in my view would proceed to smoke his ass like brisket (I know of good country stuff. Ain't nothing wrong with brisket.) Blake ends up picking Shelbie Z. to win. Justin does not get saved with the steal and heads home. Oh well, Shelbie's projection spelled your fate.
Fourth, Anthony Paul V.S. Caroline Pannell from Team Cee-Lo. I had Caroline in mind to win as Anthony seemed really underdeveloped. They were given "As Long As You Love Me" by He Who Inspired Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber (What did they do, Cee-Lo?) Miguel and Cee-Lo seemed to favor Caroline early on and Anthony seemed to improve in auditions. Given their youth, this ended up being a touch more evenly matched than I would've expected. During the battle, Anthony seemed too pitchy in the beginning and Caroline's sweet tones seemed to seal everything before the verdict was delivered. Cee-Lo ends up picking Caroline to win. Anthony gets saved by X-Tina; she cited surprising versatility for a youngun. I can actually live with this decision. Though, Anthony may get screwed in the Knockout rounds. Just throwing that out there (Knowing goddamn well it will be fetched, honey.)
Fifth, Donna Allen and HRFH -2.0...err Tessanne Chin from Team Adam. I was hoping Donna and her hair would whip Tessanne's ass out of here. They were given "Next To Me" by Emeli Sande. Donna's volume is considered too mighty for Tessanne to compete with. However, Donna's might was also ruled as potential hubris as it was considered "too much" at one point. I honestly get a touch upset whenever someone who can actually sing is told to "pull back". So what if they can shatter the roof with every note? Ugh, moving on. The battle commences and much like the others tonight, this ends up evenly matched in the eyes of the coaches and audience. Adam ends up picking Tessanne to win. Dammit, I knew there was something HRFH about her. An overrated backup singer that advances over a more deserving contestant? Yup, Tessanne is HRFH -2.0. Even worse, Donna is not stolen for anybody else's team. What a complete load. Donna was leagues better than her and I cannot understand what Adam was thinking.
Finally, Briana Cuoco V.S. Jacquie Lee from Team X-Tina. I went in thinking Briana should win. They were given "House of The Rising Sun" by the Animals. Personally, I never got the appeal of the song they were given. It's been done on the show many times before, but I can't get into the song. Jacquie sounds improved graded against herself. Briana proved that she can actually sing and rather cleanly given her shaky rendition of "You and I" by Lady Gaga in the Blind Auditions. The battle is pimped as the most epic of the night. Again, this is supposed to be even and personally I heard more pleasing notes from Briana the whole way through. X-Tina ends up picking Jacquie to win. Damn...then Briana is offered a team spot from Cee-Lo and Blake. She ends up picking Blake as her new coach. Thank God steals in the Knockouts are in this season because...as Lyndsey Parker of Yahoo Music's Reality Rocks reminded, Blake has never kept a steal.
All in all, Antietam level blood was shed and apart from Donna getting screwed, it was worth seeing Amber Nicole's profile get raised.
Next up for scrutiny, the Battle rounds part 2.
Let's play rough and get it on!
The first duo serving Antietam realness through song was Grey and Nic Hawk from Team Adam. My hope was that Nic either improve or Grey wipe the floor with him. They performed "Domino" by Jessie J. Nic did call himself a "Jessie J" type of singer, so that alone gave him a slight edge. Grey actually performed with this song with her wedding band so that's edge in her favor. Both are surprisingly even, but I was hoping Grey would end up more vibrant than Nic. Nic's persona took over and Grey was actually singing (Funny how singing is supposed to be done on The Voice). Adam ends up picking Grey to stay and I agree. Persona is one thing, but Nic still cannot sing as of yet. May I suggest watching Cody Belew's performances? Then, Blake screws everything up by stealing Nic. Ugh, I understand to some degree, this whole "stage presence" crap, but it has to apply where needed. Nic is not that good enough to steal. It isn't MrSwearword V.S. Everyone for nothing.
Second, Amber Nicole and Timyra-Joi of Team X-Tina. Amber came in fodder and Timyra was the youngun who got 3 chairs. They were given "Listen" by Beyonce from the Dreamgirls soundtrack. Amber seemed to have the edge in rehearsals but I was afraid Timyra would be given the victory because of her "youngun" stature. The end result was one of the more evenly matched, but I was still hoping Amber would win; if not, at the very least get a steal. X-Tina ended up picking Amber to win. I knew she would from her rehearsals. Timyra-Joi ended up not being stolen, but for a 15 year old she was one of the best youngun contestants to be on the show. Still, Amber prevailed and I was happy. Also worth mentioning, Amber evolved from montage victim to potential front runner.
Third, Justin Chain V.S. Shelbie Z. from Team Blake. Despite the country bait, I actually had Shelbie in mind to win. They were given "Don't You Wanna Stay" by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson. Cher's presence is enough to make Shelbie Z. choke up at first until she proved she could wipe the floor with Justin. Worth noting? Cher's wig did improve from her S4 finale follicle fiasco (Alliteration provides the ground for shade). Admittedly, for "Bama Country Bait", Justin is sexy...but Shelbie in my view would proceed to smoke his ass like brisket (I know of good country stuff. Ain't nothing wrong with brisket.) Blake ends up picking Shelbie Z. to win. Justin does not get saved with the steal and heads home. Oh well, Shelbie's projection spelled your fate.
Fourth, Anthony Paul V.S. Caroline Pannell from Team Cee-Lo. I had Caroline in mind to win as Anthony seemed really underdeveloped. They were given "As Long As You Love Me" by He Who Inspired Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber (What did they do, Cee-Lo?) Miguel and Cee-Lo seemed to favor Caroline early on and Anthony seemed to improve in auditions. Given their youth, this ended up being a touch more evenly matched than I would've expected. During the battle, Anthony seemed too pitchy in the beginning and Caroline's sweet tones seemed to seal everything before the verdict was delivered. Cee-Lo ends up picking Caroline to win. Anthony gets saved by X-Tina; she cited surprising versatility for a youngun. I can actually live with this decision. Though, Anthony may get screwed in the Knockout rounds. Just throwing that out there (Knowing goddamn well it will be fetched, honey.)
Fifth, Donna Allen and HRFH -2.0...err Tessanne Chin from Team Adam. I was hoping Donna and her hair would whip Tessanne's ass out of here. They were given "Next To Me" by Emeli Sande. Donna's volume is considered too mighty for Tessanne to compete with. However, Donna's might was also ruled as potential hubris as it was considered "too much" at one point. I honestly get a touch upset whenever someone who can actually sing is told to "pull back". So what if they can shatter the roof with every note? Ugh, moving on. The battle commences and much like the others tonight, this ends up evenly matched in the eyes of the coaches and audience. Adam ends up picking Tessanne to win. Dammit, I knew there was something HRFH about her. An overrated backup singer that advances over a more deserving contestant? Yup, Tessanne is HRFH -2.0. Even worse, Donna is not stolen for anybody else's team. What a complete load. Donna was leagues better than her and I cannot understand what Adam was thinking.
Finally, Briana Cuoco V.S. Jacquie Lee from Team X-Tina. I went in thinking Briana should win. They were given "House of The Rising Sun" by the Animals. Personally, I never got the appeal of the song they were given. It's been done on the show many times before, but I can't get into the song. Jacquie sounds improved graded against herself. Briana proved that she can actually sing and rather cleanly given her shaky rendition of "You and I" by Lady Gaga in the Blind Auditions. The battle is pimped as the most epic of the night. Again, this is supposed to be even and personally I heard more pleasing notes from Briana the whole way through. X-Tina ends up picking Jacquie to win. Damn...then Briana is offered a team spot from Cee-Lo and Blake. She ends up picking Blake as her new coach. Thank God steals in the Knockouts are in this season because...as Lyndsey Parker of Yahoo Music's Reality Rocks reminded, Blake has never kept a steal.
All in all, Antietam level blood was shed and apart from Donna getting screwed, it was worth seeing Amber Nicole's profile get raised.
Next up for scrutiny, the Battle rounds part 2.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. Post 12: Shakira
This is a series dedicated to women who despite success in the U.S. Music Industry, have est. a very complicated image for themselves.
Round 12 of this series goes to legal Colombian import/Hip shaking mastermind and S4 coach of The Voice U.S., Shakira. By all technical accounts, she has the most albums [of any of the women I've reviewed thus far] under her belt with 9 to date. However, it wasn't until her 5th album that she first tasted proper U.S. glory.
I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge her first 4 albums...
First was Magia, which was released in 1991. Peligro was released 2 years later in 1993. Commercially and to Shakira, these were considered disappointments so much to the point that "Shaki" has refused these albums see the light of day in the States.
In a way her third album, the 1996 released Piez Descalzos, saw some taste of the U.S. mainstream albeit through Latin charts [#5 on the Billboard Latin Albums and #3 on the Billboard Latin Pop Albums is nothing to sneer at.] The recognizable song from the effort, "Estoy Aquí", even went to #1 on the Latin Pop Song chart.
Her fourth album, the 1998 released Dónde Están los Ladrones? was her first album to make a bigger impact on U.S. charts; even though it went to #131 on the Hot 200. However, the album went to #1 on both the Latin and Latin Pop album charts. The recognizable single from the album, "Ojos Así" while more artistically edgy than "Estoy Aquí", didn't go to #1 but did give "Shaki" another Top 10 hit on the Latin Pop chart.
Cut to her 2001 crossover debut and fifth collective album, Laundry Service. "Shaki" was seen as a gamble by her new stateside label, Epic [she had mainly worked with Sony Music Colombia until then]. Thanks to some assistance from Gloria Estefan in fighting for her proper stateside debut, Laundry Service would see the rise of the her star power. The lead single from the album, "Whenever, Wherever" landed her a Top 10 hit on the Hot 100, peaking at #6. The video for the song has aged rather well, constantly making Fuse network countdown shows and for unleashing some sex monster laden choreography. O_O The album's next single, "Underneath Your Clothes" showed off her vulnerable side and gave "Shaki" her second consecutive Top 10 hit on the Hot 100 peaking at #9.
Her third single and my personal favorite next to "Underneath Your Clothes" was the song "Objection (Tango)". Yet for whatever reason, the song peaked at #55 on the Hot 100 [the Spanish version of the song did peak at #16 on the Latin Songs chart]. The music video on the other hand fared very well on the music video circuit; even going to #1 on TRL (I wonder what the host of TRL is doing now...I wonder if he's hosting a certain competition show on NBC where she served as a coach on its 4th season. Oh the mysteries of life. -_-)
Though 3 more singles were released and "Objection (Tango)" was read to filth on the Hot 100 for God knows what reason, Laundry Service peaked at #3 on the Hot 200.
Cut past live albums to her 2005 releases, Fijación Oral, Vol. 1 and Oral Fixation, Vol. 2. Remarkably, the all Spanish album went to #4 on the Hot 200. It's recognizable single, "La Tortura" ft. Alejandro Sanz even went to #23 on the Hot 100 whilst being #1 on the Latin, Latin Pop and Tropical Songs charts. The music video for the single was Shakira's most tantalizing to date. Focusing on upper body choreography, the video went to #4 on TRL and circulated very well on MTV, VH1 and Yahoo!
The all English album actually peaked at #5 on the Hot 200. The lead single, "Don't Bother" although a return of sorts to her rocker/bohemian vibes from earlier releases, peaked at #42 on the Hot 100.
Then, her first #1 hit on the Hot 100 emerged [regardless of how damn long it took to get there]. "Hips Don't Lie" ft. Wyclef Jean was a song and video that touched in on a shitload of cultural references. Everything from traditional Carnaval de Barranquilla attire to Shakira shaking those hips and everything else at Mach 5 (More or less; remember...I base any statistic like that on absolutely nothing.) the song and video solidified Gloria Estefan's fighting for her years ago.
Moving past her double disc version of the "Oral Fixation" albums, another set of live albums and general low-key...ness to her 2009 released She Wolf. This is probably "Shaki's" most edgy and sexual sounding release to date. However, disaster of missing the Top 10 of the Hot 200 albums was spelled out in her 1st and 3rd songs released from the album.
The album's lead single is also the titular track, "She Wolf". For all of its scintillating intent, this is Shakira's doofiest sounding song yet. If you need words to prove it, this is how the song starts...
Round 12 of this series goes to legal Colombian import/Hip shaking mastermind and S4 coach of The Voice U.S., Shakira. By all technical accounts, she has the most albums [of any of the women I've reviewed thus far] under her belt with 9 to date. However, it wasn't until her 5th album that she first tasted proper U.S. glory.
I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge her first 4 albums...
First was Magia, which was released in 1991. Peligro was released 2 years later in 1993. Commercially and to Shakira, these were considered disappointments so much to the point that "Shaki" has refused these albums see the light of day in the States.
In a way her third album, the 1996 released Piez Descalzos, saw some taste of the U.S. mainstream albeit through Latin charts [#5 on the Billboard Latin Albums and #3 on the Billboard Latin Pop Albums is nothing to sneer at.] The recognizable song from the effort, "Estoy Aquí", even went to #1 on the Latin Pop Song chart.
Her fourth album, the 1998 released Dónde Están los Ladrones? was her first album to make a bigger impact on U.S. charts; even though it went to #131 on the Hot 200. However, the album went to #1 on both the Latin and Latin Pop album charts. The recognizable single from the album, "Ojos Así" while more artistically edgy than "Estoy Aquí", didn't go to #1 but did give "Shaki" another Top 10 hit on the Latin Pop chart.
Cut to her 2001 crossover debut and fifth collective album, Laundry Service. "Shaki" was seen as a gamble by her new stateside label, Epic [she had mainly worked with Sony Music Colombia until then]. Thanks to some assistance from Gloria Estefan in fighting for her proper stateside debut, Laundry Service would see the rise of the her star power. The lead single from the album, "Whenever, Wherever" landed her a Top 10 hit on the Hot 100, peaking at #6. The video for the song has aged rather well, constantly making Fuse network countdown shows and for unleashing some sex monster laden choreography. O_O The album's next single, "Underneath Your Clothes" showed off her vulnerable side and gave "Shaki" her second consecutive Top 10 hit on the Hot 100 peaking at #9.
Her third single and my personal favorite next to "Underneath Your Clothes" was the song "Objection (Tango)". Yet for whatever reason, the song peaked at #55 on the Hot 100 [the Spanish version of the song did peak at #16 on the Latin Songs chart]. The music video on the other hand fared very well on the music video circuit; even going to #1 on TRL (I wonder what the host of TRL is doing now...I wonder if he's hosting a certain competition show on NBC where she served as a coach on its 4th season. Oh the mysteries of life. -_-)
Though 3 more singles were released and "Objection (Tango)" was read to filth on the Hot 100 for God knows what reason, Laundry Service peaked at #3 on the Hot 200.
Cut past live albums to her 2005 releases, Fijación Oral, Vol. 1 and Oral Fixation, Vol. 2. Remarkably, the all Spanish album went to #4 on the Hot 200. It's recognizable single, "La Tortura" ft. Alejandro Sanz even went to #23 on the Hot 100 whilst being #1 on the Latin, Latin Pop and Tropical Songs charts. The music video for the single was Shakira's most tantalizing to date. Focusing on upper body choreography, the video went to #4 on TRL and circulated very well on MTV, VH1 and Yahoo!
The all English album actually peaked at #5 on the Hot 200. The lead single, "Don't Bother" although a return of sorts to her rocker/bohemian vibes from earlier releases, peaked at #42 on the Hot 100.
Then, her first #1 hit on the Hot 100 emerged [regardless of how damn long it took to get there]. "Hips Don't Lie" ft. Wyclef Jean was a song and video that touched in on a shitload of cultural references. Everything from traditional Carnaval de Barranquilla attire to Shakira shaking those hips and everything else at Mach 5 (More or less; remember...I base any statistic like that on absolutely nothing.) the song and video solidified Gloria Estefan's fighting for her years ago.
Moving past her double disc version of the "Oral Fixation" albums, another set of live albums and general low-key...ness to her 2009 released She Wolf. This is probably "Shaki's" most edgy and sexual sounding release to date. However, disaster of missing the Top 10 of the Hot 200 albums was spelled out in her 1st and 3rd songs released from the album.
The album's lead single is also the titular track, "She Wolf". For all of its scintillating intent, this is Shakira's doofiest sounding song yet. If you need words to prove it, this is how the song starts...
"A domesticated girl, that's all you ask of me.
Darling it is no joke, this is lycanthropy."
O_O Oh it serves more FreeTranslation realness from there...[Oh *FUN Fact: Lycathropy is the delusion of someone thinking that they're a werewolf. O_O*]
"I've been devoting myself to you
Monday to Monday
And Friday to Friday"
"Starting to feel just a little abused
Like a coffee machine in an office"
Put 2+2 together and it'll make sense as to why this song peaked at #11 on the Hot 100. *shaaaaaaaaaaaade* (Oh and do not get me started on that video; once I saw the cage made from stripper poles, I was done. Bye, gurl, bye!)
The last recognizable single from the album [the deluxe edition in this case] was "Give It Up to Me" ft. Lil' Wayne. The song did gain favor from critics mainly because of Shaki's collaborating with a rapper and Timbaland's production value. The video, whilst showcasing vibrant color schemes and drawing comparisons to Beyoncé's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" in terms of choreography...yikes. This video is all style, no substance. At one point, she proceeds to look like a Hindu goddess in a prom dress whilst performing a mix of Thai dance hand gestures and voguing. O_O Despite moderate success on the video circuit, the song peaked at #29 on the Hot 100.
She Wolf would peak at #15 on the Hot 200.
Cut to her most recent effort, the 2010 released Sale el Sol. Apart from the album's lead single, "Loca" ft. Dizzee Rascal and "Antes de las Seis" being used in The Voice S4 when Mary Miranda and Cáthia faced off in the Battle Rounds, none of the other songs ring a bell.
The lead single peaked at #32 on the Hot 100 but did go to #1 on the Dance/Mix Show Airplay, Hot Latin and Tropical Songs charts.
Sale el Sol would peak at #7 on the Hot 200.
Apart from music, Shakira is renowned for her genius IQ, multilingual abilities speaking Spanish, English, Portuguese, Italian, French, Catalan [that being a dialect of Spanish common in Barcelona, Spain] and Arabic, humanitarian efforts and the FIFA 2010 Cup theme song "Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)"; the music video being the seventh most watched music video of all time on YouTube with more than 550 million views, as of September 2013.
So what makes her one of many W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I.? Well, for all her international flair she's really had only 1 song go to #1 on the Hot 100. Any lesser person would've resorted to the long standing "Shakira sounds like a goddamn goat" comment but logistically..."Hips Don't Lie" is her biggest single in the States. That and give or take some commercial missteps *COUGH She Wolf COUGH* she hasn't released a critical dud. It isn't often that a critical darling has some success in the U.S. Music Industry.
That and The Voice U.S. shows how goddamn adorable she is in general. In summation, she's in this series because not everything adds up commercially when critical success has been her game in any language.
Next up, the Lord and Savior to BuzzFeed contributor Matt Stopera.
Friday, October 11, 2013
The Next 3 Women for the W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. Series
After realizing little to no people cared about this, here's how the next 3 posts in the W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. will look...
Post 12: Shakira (suggested by 2 Twitter followers of mine)
Post 13: Britney Spears (suggested by 1 Twitter follower of mine)
Post 14: Kylie Minogue; she has popped into my head more than once, but she'll be saved for later.
As to when these will pop up, don't hold your breaths. Schooling and general life constraints will prevent these posts in construction and in deliverance. Worst case scenario, Post 14 will surface late December/early 2014.
The blog and recaps for The Voice S5 will still commence. Why? Because.
OK, maybe I can squeeze out all 3 towards the end of the year. Though, holding your breath is still inadvisable.
XXXO,
MrSwearword
Post 12: Shakira (suggested by 2 Twitter followers of mine)
Post 13: Britney Spears (suggested by 1 Twitter follower of mine)
Post 14: Kylie Minogue; she has popped into my head more than once, but she'll be saved for later.
As to when these will pop up, don't hold your breaths. Schooling and general life constraints will prevent these posts in construction and in deliverance. Worst case scenario, Post 14 will surface late December/early 2014.
The blog and recaps for The Voice S5 will still commence. Why? Because.
OK, maybe I can squeeze out all 3 towards the end of the year. Though, holding your breath is still inadvisable.
XXXO,
MrSwearword
Monday, October 7, 2013
The Voice U.S. S5 Recap: Five O'Clock Shadow Beyond a Reasonable Doubt
Isn't vague reference to court jargon rather quaint if you haven't been sued? Tonight marked the final round of the 5th time Adam Shevine Levine, Cee-Lo Green, Christina Aguilera and Blake Shevine Shelton have fought against big-red chair induced motion sickness on S5 of The Voice (Dial 555-STFU for more information). The Blind Auditions are done and these are the nouns, pronouns and other marklar that transpired in this episode. All defendants in the Court of Public Opinion please rise...
Let's play rough and get it on!
First to the stand of judgment was S4 reject Matt Cermanski. He was the one who sang a Katy Perry song that wasn't "Firework" and got the boot. He sang "Have A Little Faith In Me" by John Hiatt. He got everyone but X-Tina to turn (When I agree with X-Tina, I think it's not up to snuff.) Adam remembered him and loved him whilst being adorably bitchy to Cee-Lo and Blake. Matt ended up picking Adam as his coach. He did give him his "Don't give up" speech in S4 so it makes sense.
Second to the stand was a San Antonio, Texas native who looked like a scene kid/Hot Topic version of Dez Duron; Diego Roman Navaira. He sang "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol. He sounded like a Billy Idol impersonator but came from a famous background [his dad was an early Tejano act whose colleague of sorts was Selena]. He ended up a no chair turn and I knew why. He sounded like an impersonator and really should've picked something else. Remember; this isn't MrSwearword V.S. Everyone for nothing. Don't come for me unless I sent for you *Z-Snap formation*
Third defendant of the night was Church girl turned recording artist Tamara Chauniece. She recorded an album at 11 [VFTW would've hated this woman]. She auditioned with 1+1 by Beyonce. I liked her song choice but her timing and money notes were so off. So I kind of like this song choice but not entirely her singing yet. Cee-Lo and X-Tina fight over her and she picks Cee-Lo as her coach. The Church girl going to the "Red Zone"? Missionary work, indeed.
Fourth up for their trial by fire, Brandon Chase; a man as smart as Juhi but not as awesome musically in his bio piece. Yes he had a sob story, but this is The Voice; not OWN. He auditioned with "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes. For country bait, he wasn't Kewpie Doll deplorable, but still won't get votes from me. Blake and Cee-Lo turn for him and after banter over fashion sense/genre aspirations, Brandon picks Blake as his coach. Wow; what a shock -_-
Fifth, the case of Public Opinion V.S. Lupe Carroll; a florist looking to prune that boring part of his existence out of his life. He married a fellow music enthusiast and I grew bored waiting for him to audition. He hit the stage auditioning with "If I Were A Carpenter". He ends up defaulting to Cee-Lo who at that point had 1 spot remaining on his team. Personally, I thought he wasn't my type of singer and he might've been an Adam pick. Either way, there's more to cover.
Sixth to the stand, Grey. Seriously, that's the name she answers to. Balancing retail and a wedding band has a price. She auditioned with "Catch My Breath" by Kelly Clarkson. Personally, a Kelly Clarkson song is known for Clarkson's lung capacity. Grey didn't have that for me, but meanwhile Blake's chair malfunctioned which was a show first. He along with Cee-Lo and Adam turned around and Grey had a bit of a doozy on her hands. She ends up picking Adam as her coach even though she admitted to singing country growing up. With Grey, Adam finishes first [which Shevine shippers love ; )]
Seventh trial by/baptism of fire was Dominic Scott Kay who apparently was a child actor turned singer whose Dad was the drummer in The Commodores [VFTW would've demanded this dude's head on a platter]. He auditions with "Easy" by The Commodores and sounds terrible. He has no passion in this song and his singing voice was flat out awful to me. He ended up a no chair turn because he was too nasally (Yet Cassadee Pope won S3...j'accuse!) and he's forced to return to the life of being the son of The Commodores' drummer. What a travesty -_-
Eighth having to be represented by an Imaginationland D.A. was Michael Lynch. He's kind of interesting as he learned Spanish via Spanish music. He auditioned with "Bailamos" by Enrique Iglesias. He sings in Spanish better than I ever can, so credit to him there. X-Tina, Blake and Cee-Lo turn for him (Muchas gracias, Adam. Muchas gracias.) He picks X-Tina as his coach...breaking the hearts of the other suitors on Momentos Opulentos de La Voz EEUU. With Michael, her team is full and4th place awaits her she will do her best for S5.
Ninth for trial in the C.O.P.O., Deanna Johnson. Her beef is with sounding like country bait but loving pop music. She auditions with "Stars" by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals. I liked her a little only because she's bucking her country surroundings. Singing, she's ok but all it was a bad song choice. The coaches don't turn and she's encouraged to try out again.
Tenth to the stand, Brian Pounds. Self-aware of the exposure The Voice can bring he hits the stage with "Wagon Wheel" by Darius Rucker. Blake and Cee-Lo turn and try to finish building their teams with him. He seems to be tolerable country bait and Cee-Lo's comments were golden. After the glorious exchange, he breaks Cee-Lo's heart by picking Blake. Blake finished (*Insert Shevine pun here*) and Cee-Lo will get one of if not the last singer in this episode.
Montage of rejects time. Give or take Danielle Walsh's wanting to be on Cee-Lo's team...NEXT!
Finally (The running gag is over), Shawn Smith defaulted to Cee-Lo. He auditioned with pure Southern-fried country bait, "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band. He may be more country than I liked, but he calls himself Big Sexy...good God. May he prosper in life outside singing. Cee-Lo finishes his team and the Blind Auditions are finito.
All in all, the Battles await and who will triumph and who will face their Waterloo? O_o
Next up for scrutiny, the Battle Rounds part 1.
Let's play rough and get it on!
First to the stand of judgment was S4 reject Matt Cermanski. He was the one who sang a Katy Perry song that wasn't "Firework" and got the boot. He sang "Have A Little Faith In Me" by John Hiatt. He got everyone but X-Tina to turn (When I agree with X-Tina, I think it's not up to snuff.) Adam remembered him and loved him whilst being adorably bitchy to Cee-Lo and Blake. Matt ended up picking Adam as his coach. He did give him his "Don't give up" speech in S4 so it makes sense.
Second to the stand was a San Antonio, Texas native who looked like a scene kid/Hot Topic version of Dez Duron; Diego Roman Navaira. He sang "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol. He sounded like a Billy Idol impersonator but came from a famous background [his dad was an early Tejano act whose colleague of sorts was Selena]. He ended up a no chair turn and I knew why. He sounded like an impersonator and really should've picked something else. Remember; this isn't MrSwearword V.S. Everyone for nothing. Don't come for me unless I sent for you *Z-Snap formation*
Third defendant of the night was Church girl turned recording artist Tamara Chauniece. She recorded an album at 11 [VFTW would've hated this woman]. She auditioned with 1+1 by Beyonce. I liked her song choice but her timing and money notes were so off. So I kind of like this song choice but not entirely her singing yet. Cee-Lo and X-Tina fight over her and she picks Cee-Lo as her coach. The Church girl going to the "Red Zone"? Missionary work, indeed.
Fourth up for their trial by fire, Brandon Chase; a man as smart as Juhi but not as awesome musically in his bio piece. Yes he had a sob story, but this is The Voice; not OWN. He auditioned with "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes. For country bait, he wasn't Kewpie Doll deplorable, but still won't get votes from me. Blake and Cee-Lo turn for him and after banter over fashion sense/genre aspirations, Brandon picks Blake as his coach. Wow; what a shock -_-
Fifth, the case of Public Opinion V.S. Lupe Carroll; a florist looking to prune that boring part of his existence out of his life. He married a fellow music enthusiast and I grew bored waiting for him to audition. He hit the stage auditioning with "If I Were A Carpenter". He ends up defaulting to Cee-Lo who at that point had 1 spot remaining on his team. Personally, I thought he wasn't my type of singer and he might've been an Adam pick. Either way, there's more to cover.
Sixth to the stand, Grey. Seriously, that's the name she answers to. Balancing retail and a wedding band has a price. She auditioned with "Catch My Breath" by Kelly Clarkson. Personally, a Kelly Clarkson song is known for Clarkson's lung capacity. Grey didn't have that for me, but meanwhile Blake's chair malfunctioned which was a show first. He along with Cee-Lo and Adam turned around and Grey had a bit of a doozy on her hands. She ends up picking Adam as her coach even though she admitted to singing country growing up. With Grey, Adam finishes first [which Shevine shippers love ; )]
Seventh trial by/baptism of fire was Dominic Scott Kay who apparently was a child actor turned singer whose Dad was the drummer in The Commodores [VFTW would've demanded this dude's head on a platter]. He auditions with "Easy" by The Commodores and sounds terrible. He has no passion in this song and his singing voice was flat out awful to me. He ended up a no chair turn because he was too nasally (Yet Cassadee Pope won S3...j'accuse!) and he's forced to return to the life of being the son of The Commodores' drummer. What a travesty -_-
Eighth having to be represented by an Imaginationland D.A. was Michael Lynch. He's kind of interesting as he learned Spanish via Spanish music. He auditioned with "Bailamos" by Enrique Iglesias. He sings in Spanish better than I ever can, so credit to him there. X-Tina, Blake and Cee-Lo turn for him (Muchas gracias, Adam. Muchas gracias.) He picks X-Tina as his coach...breaking the hearts of the other suitors on Momentos Opulentos de La Voz EEUU. With Michael, her team is full and
Ninth for trial in the C.O.P.O., Deanna Johnson. Her beef is with sounding like country bait but loving pop music. She auditions with "Stars" by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals. I liked her a little only because she's bucking her country surroundings. Singing, she's ok but all it was a bad song choice. The coaches don't turn and she's encouraged to try out again.
Tenth to the stand, Brian Pounds. Self-aware of the exposure The Voice can bring he hits the stage with "Wagon Wheel" by Darius Rucker. Blake and Cee-Lo turn and try to finish building their teams with him. He seems to be tolerable country bait and Cee-Lo's comments were golden. After the glorious exchange, he breaks Cee-Lo's heart by picking Blake. Blake finished (*Insert Shevine pun here*) and Cee-Lo will get one of if not the last singer in this episode.
Montage of rejects time. Give or take Danielle Walsh's wanting to be on Cee-Lo's team...NEXT!
Finally (The running gag is over), Shawn Smith defaulted to Cee-Lo. He auditioned with pure Southern-fried country bait, "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band. He may be more country than I liked, but he calls himself Big Sexy...good God. May he prosper in life outside singing. Cee-Lo finishes his team and the Blind Auditions are finito.
All in all, the Battles await and who will triumph and who will face their Waterloo? O_o
Next up for scrutiny, the Battle Rounds part 1.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. Post 12 UPDATE
In my last post for the W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. series, I hinted at covering a woman who needed "Motivation" to compete with the Queen Bey...
The answer was Kelly Rowland. However, I decided to not cover her after all (After all; serving as an X Factor judge seems to be a greater indignity than me pointing out any to all misgivings in her music career).
As to who I should cover in her place...I'm going to reach out to any and all of you that have read my blog.
I am essentially asking you to help me come up with a set list of women I should cover.
To refresh, so far
I Have Covered:
- Ke$ha
- Nicole Scherzinger
- Aubrey O'Day
- Christina Aguilera
- Beyoncé
- Lady Gaga
- Katy Perry
- Rihanna
- Azealia Banks
- Ciara
- Kelis
I Decided Not To Cover:
- P!nk
- Kelly Rowland [for any to all of you with A.D.D. or A.D.H.D. Oh look, a squirrel.]
The answer was Kelly Rowland. However, I decided to not cover her after all (After all; serving as an X Factor judge seems to be a greater indignity than me pointing out any to all misgivings in her music career).
As to who I should cover in her place...I'm going to reach out to any and all of you that have read my blog.
I am essentially asking you to help me come up with a set list of women I should cover.
To refresh, so far
I Have Covered:
- Ke$ha
- Nicole Scherzinger
- Aubrey O'Day
- Christina Aguilera
- Beyoncé
- Lady Gaga
- Katy Perry
- Rihanna
- Azealia Banks
- Ciara
- Kelis
I Decided Not To Cover:
- P!nk
- Kelly Rowland [for any to all of you with A.D.D. or A.D.H.D. Oh look, a squirrel.]
GROUND EST. FOR NOMINEES
1. The artist in question must be a woman. Meaning, you cannot submit Adam Lambert nor can you submit He Who Inspired Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber.
2. The artist cannot suck. So no, I am not covering Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj or anyone else I deem terrible.
3. For my Twitter Account Holders [what I call my followers; sanction me for not being tacky.] use the "hashtag" #WWCIITMI and the artist name you suggest.
This isn't out of laziness [at least I think]. Get to submitting and long live the sexual revolution : P
XXXO,
MrSwearword
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
The Voice U.S. S5 Recap: Four The Love of God
Adorable blasphemy and/or sacrilege aside (Blasphemy: Pissing Off Zealots 3:16 Ways 'Til Sunday; Sacrilege: Tastes Like Bread and Wine) tonight marked the 4th night of the Blind Auditions. Adam, Christina, Cee-Lo and Blake continue to build their teams of 12 and people on Twitter still wish there was a Team Carson. These are the marklar that revolved around the marklar competing on the marklar (Yes, I just made a South Park joke. No, I don't give a fucking marklar about your sense of humor.)
Let's play rough and get it on!
First up for scrutiny in the Court of Public Opinion was Will Champlin. His Dad was in Chicago (And I bet VoteForTheWorst would pounce on this dude if they didn't go defunct.) Cut past his "wife and kid" story, he auditioned with "Not Over You" by Gavin DeGraw. He wasn't that good, but he got 3 chairs to turn (X-Tina is not tone deaf, thank God) and another "man-fight" ensued. He ends up picking Adam to coach him. I don't care because I thought he sucked.
Second, Macey Estes showed up in a pair of cheetah-print hammer pants (*retches*). An aspiring Hip-Hop ish singer auditioned with "The Way" by Ariana Grande ft. Mac Miller. Her singing was way too shaky with that song. She ends up rapping after her audition and the judges loved it for whatever reason. Maybe she should've done a rap song...or at least practiced with "The Way" with Mac's verse but recited by a female. I'm just saying (And writing and scolding people online. Nothing big.) In conclusion, she became another S5 reject.
Third, Stephanie Anne Johnson a former cruise ship singer looking to *insert sea pun here*. She auditioned with "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall. Personally, her singing was too clean for this song but she did get Cee-Lo and X-Tina to turn towards the end. After some light selling point, Stephanie Ann picks X-Tina to be her coach. Cee-Lo was none too pleased as his sunglasses came off in pretend "FUCK the 18 generations of your ancestors" face.
Fourth up, accidental Macy's men's department model Sam Cerniglia. His outside story is rather touching despite it being from the umbrella of "sob story". He auditioned with "It's A Beautiful Day" by Michael Buble (If it were the Song Choice, he'd be asked to leave). I thought he was done for but he got Blake and Cee-Lo to do some 11th hour turnaround (Insert joke RE: the recent Government Showdown here). He ends up picking Blake as his coach. *yawns* Sorry; yawning after that promotes beauty sleep and I base that on absolutely nothing. : )
Fifth to be scrutinized, Jennifer Newberry. A Swedish immigrant who found inspiration through huge American singers like Mariah Carey and X-Tina. She also looks like eccentric and shiny, happy person Swedish turned U.S. singer Robyn. She auditioned with "Locked Out of Heaven" by Bruno Mars. All I can say, this audition was shakier than Caroline Pannell's nerves. She ends up as another S5 reject, but she, Macey and the other rejects are so goddamn nice.
Oooh; a montage of rejects...better luck next season! NEXT!
Sixth, S4 reject James Irwin. This had me happy as he had me hooked despite singing the cursed song for males of The Voice, "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script. This time he auditioned with "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. This time he makes the cut as all of the coaches turned around. The coaches are a bit too civil in trying to win him over. That aside, he picks Adam as his coach. His voice is awesome; 'nuff said.
Seventh, perpetual contest winner (And functioning Mason-Dixon Barbie) Olivia Henken. She thought winning varied talent contest was an easy way to make it in the industry -_- [Bitch, Please]. She auditioned with "Two Black Cadillacs" by Carrie Underwood. She ends up attracting X-Tina and Cee-Lo to turn around. After Cee-Lo deeming her a potential "alternative" artist (Alternative has never been used more inappropriately), she picks X-Tina to coach her.
Eighth, YouTube sensation Jason Kertson. His thing was having posted a video of him playing two guitars at once. Nothing to sneeze at, but that can't be the only interesting thing about him. He auditions with "Lips of An Angel". Oooooh; this was just bad. His singing is deep but pitchy. Yipes; this was awful. His voice was naturally low enough to cut Adam deep (Dear Adam; you sing like you do and get paychecks. Zip it.) He ends up another S5 reject and owner of the deepest voice on a 16 year old that made it to a national TV show's Blind Auditions. You win some; you lose some.
Ninth, R. Anthony who forgot that unprotected sex derails singing careers...err gave up singing to est. a family life. He auditions with "Hall of Fame" by The Script. He isn't terrible and I thought he was screwed when he picked a song by The Script, but X-Tina and Cee-Lo reminded everyone it's just "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" that screws male singers. He picks Cee-Lo to be his coach
Oh a boring contestant that made it montage...Keaira Lashae, Amber Nicole & Emily Randolph made it and hopefully get more screen time in the Battle Rounds. [Although Keaira and Amber should've been shown because they sang "Killing Me Softly" by The Fugees and "Russian Roulette" by Rihanna respectively. 2 kickass songs that didn't see the light of day. BOO!]
Tenth, Justin Chain who fought through a motorcycle accident to be here. He auditioned with "She's Country" by Jason Aldean. Hmmmm; this spells Blake-bait. Congrats on making it, but I don't vote for country artists. Sorry; not really. He defaults to Blake (No, really? How flooring.) and they even note that they're sooooo country. D'awwwwww that's cuter than Paula Deen up a butter tree (Maybe that's a country colloquialism...maybe I made it up; either way, I don't give a fucking marklar.)
Finally, Ashley Dubose who is one of many that juggles a full time job and single motherhood. Seriously, use protection. Derailing singing careers aside, it can bring about bad things. She auditions with "Diamonds" by Rihanna. All 4 coaches turn for someone I actually came to like. The coaches make their cases and Adam goes a bit vindictive with being blatant about wanting to dethrone Blake. I understand completely, but stick with adorable passive aggressive tactics. She picks Adam to be her coach and this marks the umpteenth time Adam has gotten an artist on a 4-Chair Turn.
All in all song choices were a bit more open, but I'm still wanting Lana Del Rey, Kelis and Janelle Monae songs to be performed. However, this group made up for yesterday's showcase. That wasn't hard but still a very good thing.
Up next for scrutiny, part 5 of the Blind Auditions.
Let's play rough and get it on!
First up for scrutiny in the Court of Public Opinion was Will Champlin. His Dad was in Chicago (And I bet VoteForTheWorst would pounce on this dude if they didn't go defunct.) Cut past his "wife and kid" story, he auditioned with "Not Over You" by Gavin DeGraw. He wasn't that good, but he got 3 chairs to turn (X-Tina is not tone deaf, thank God) and another "man-fight" ensued. He ends up picking Adam to coach him. I don't care because I thought he sucked.
Second, Macey Estes showed up in a pair of cheetah-print hammer pants (*retches*). An aspiring Hip-Hop ish singer auditioned with "The Way" by Ariana Grande ft. Mac Miller. Her singing was way too shaky with that song. She ends up rapping after her audition and the judges loved it for whatever reason. Maybe she should've done a rap song...or at least practiced with "The Way" with Mac's verse but recited by a female. I'm just saying (And writing and scolding people online. Nothing big.) In conclusion, she became another S5 reject.
Third, Stephanie Anne Johnson a former cruise ship singer looking to *insert sea pun here*. She auditioned with "Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" by KT Tunstall. Personally, her singing was too clean for this song but she did get Cee-Lo and X-Tina to turn towards the end. After some light selling point, Stephanie Ann picks X-Tina to be her coach. Cee-Lo was none too pleased as his sunglasses came off in pretend "FUCK the 18 generations of your ancestors" face.
Fourth up, accidental Macy's men's department model Sam Cerniglia. His outside story is rather touching despite it being from the umbrella of "sob story". He auditioned with "It's A Beautiful Day" by Michael Buble (If it were the Song Choice, he'd be asked to leave). I thought he was done for but he got Blake and Cee-Lo to do some 11th hour turnaround (Insert joke RE: the recent Government Showdown here). He ends up picking Blake as his coach. *yawns* Sorry; yawning after that promotes beauty sleep and I base that on absolutely nothing. : )
Fifth to be scrutinized, Jennifer Newberry. A Swedish immigrant who found inspiration through huge American singers like Mariah Carey and X-Tina. She also looks like eccentric and shiny, happy person Swedish turned U.S. singer Robyn. She auditioned with "Locked Out of Heaven" by Bruno Mars. All I can say, this audition was shakier than Caroline Pannell's nerves. She ends up as another S5 reject, but she, Macey and the other rejects are so goddamn nice.
Oooh; a montage of rejects...better luck next season! NEXT!
Sixth, S4 reject James Irwin. This had me happy as he had me hooked despite singing the cursed song for males of The Voice, "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script. This time he auditioned with "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. This time he makes the cut as all of the coaches turned around. The coaches are a bit too civil in trying to win him over. That aside, he picks Adam as his coach. His voice is awesome; 'nuff said.
Seventh, perpetual contest winner (And functioning Mason-Dixon Barbie) Olivia Henken. She thought winning varied talent contest was an easy way to make it in the industry -_- [Bitch, Please]. She auditioned with "Two Black Cadillacs" by Carrie Underwood. She ends up attracting X-Tina and Cee-Lo to turn around. After Cee-Lo deeming her a potential "alternative" artist (Alternative has never been used more inappropriately), she picks X-Tina to coach her.
Eighth, YouTube sensation Jason Kertson. His thing was having posted a video of him playing two guitars at once. Nothing to sneeze at, but that can't be the only interesting thing about him. He auditions with "Lips of An Angel". Oooooh; this was just bad. His singing is deep but pitchy. Yipes; this was awful. His voice was naturally low enough to cut Adam deep (Dear Adam; you sing like you do and get paychecks. Zip it.) He ends up another S5 reject and owner of the deepest voice on a 16 year old that made it to a national TV show's Blind Auditions. You win some; you lose some.
Ninth, R. Anthony who forgot that unprotected sex derails singing careers...err gave up singing to est. a family life. He auditions with "Hall of Fame" by The Script. He isn't terrible and I thought he was screwed when he picked a song by The Script, but X-Tina and Cee-Lo reminded everyone it's just "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" that screws male singers. He picks Cee-Lo to be his coach
Oh a boring contestant that made it montage...Keaira Lashae, Amber Nicole & Emily Randolph made it and hopefully get more screen time in the Battle Rounds. [Although Keaira and Amber should've been shown because they sang "Killing Me Softly" by The Fugees and "Russian Roulette" by Rihanna respectively. 2 kickass songs that didn't see the light of day. BOO!]
Tenth, Justin Chain who fought through a motorcycle accident to be here. He auditioned with "She's Country" by Jason Aldean. Hmmmm; this spells Blake-bait. Congrats on making it, but I don't vote for country artists. Sorry; not really. He defaults to Blake (No, really? How flooring.) and they even note that they're sooooo country. D'awwwwww that's cuter than Paula Deen up a butter tree (Maybe that's a country colloquialism...maybe I made it up; either way, I don't give a fucking marklar.)
Finally, Ashley Dubose who is one of many that juggles a full time job and single motherhood. Seriously, use protection. Derailing singing careers aside, it can bring about bad things. She auditions with "Diamonds" by Rihanna. All 4 coaches turn for someone I actually came to like. The coaches make their cases and Adam goes a bit vindictive with being blatant about wanting to dethrone Blake. I understand completely, but stick with adorable passive aggressive tactics. She picks Adam to be her coach and this marks the umpteenth time Adam has gotten an artist on a 4-Chair Turn.
All in all song choices were a bit more open, but I'm still wanting Lana Del Rey, Kelis and Janelle Monae songs to be performed. However, this group made up for yesterday's showcase. That wasn't hard but still a very good thing.
Up next for scrutiny, part 5 of the Blind Auditions.
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