The Pussycat Dolls' foray into pop music spawned one of the most complicated histories in U.S. pop music (and that's saying a lot.) First off, the refresher course for those that blinked and missed the original Pussycat Dolls music group.
Branched from a burlesque troupe started by Robin Antin, she Interscope Records and Jimmy Iovine (by way of Geffen Records and Ron Fair) wanted to create a musical girl group version of the burlesque troop [not the weirdest pitch meeting by a long shot.] The Nicole Scherzinger episode of Behind The Music fills in the rest of the blanks and raises a fuckton of questions, two of which I covered in her entry in the W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. series.
Those remembering "Buttons" and then the original Pussycat Dolls, can tell you the lineup apparently had 6 members total. Nope. In the video for the group's second single "Don't Cha"...oh...second single right...buckle up quick kiddies. Time to learn just how hard Robin Antin tried to make this thing happen...
This is a series inspired by a tweet from perpetual lightning rod for controversy Azealia Banks when she inferred that although Michael Jackson won the battle, Prince won the war. This will be my take on which two rivals in packaging in the U.S. Music Industry, won the war in terms of longer success.
Round 7 of this series pits the two biggest producers turned solo acts. In one corner, Pharrell Williams; one half of the production super team, The Neptunes, frontman of the group N*E*R*D and a solo success in his own right. In the other corner, Tim "Timbaland" Mosley; a super producer with something of credibility to his name in solo music act mode.
Both are already the most evenly matched going into war. Both are Virginia natives that put forth futura-dappled pop/R&B music in solo mode. Both have produced songs for just about every goddamn artist you can imagine. Both have also crossed paths for a certain Pop Star Feminist icon's 11th album...thus making this question twice as difficult...
In longevity terms, who merely won the battle...and who Won the War?
As of 2015, Pharrell added a second solo album to his name; the 2014 released, G I R L. Timbaland while working on the upcoming Opera Noir, has two proper albums to his name*; the last proper effort was the 2009 released Shock Value II. Here's their charting album peaks from highest to lowest...
Pharrell
- G I R L at #2
- In My Mind at #3
Timbaland
- Shock Value at #5
- Shock Value II at #36
- Tim's Bio: Life From da Bassment at #41*
*Technically, this is a glorified compilation effort of Timbaland's production at the time. It amazingly charted at all considering the type of album it is.*
Due to the fact that these two have made something of a name for themselves, radio has played their songs every now and again. In terms of longevity when was their last #1 hit on the Hot 100?
*Reminder: Hot 100 ranking does matter if you're absolutely looking for a gauge of where an artist is in terms of popularity*
Pharrell's sole #1 to date is "Happy" which despite being on G I R L was originally composed for the Despicable Me 2: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Either way, a recent #1 is a recent #1. Timbaland's sole #1 to date is "Give It to Me" ft. Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake. 7 almost 8 years and 1 album ago? Eeek.
The last Top 10 hit? Strictly using the name Pharrell, he has never had a Top 10 hit. Counting his sole album Clones with Chad as The Neptunes, it's the 2003 #5 peaking hit "Frontin'". Timbaland has either the #2 peaking "Apologize" remix with OneRepublic or "The Way I Are" ft. Keri Hilson which peaked at #3.
While acting would be considered for this series, neither Pharrell nor Timbaland has been in a movie. Insert joke of how musicians usually suck mildew thunderkunt acting in movies.
Musically, there are naturally some weak points in an artists' career when say...a lead single doesn't go to #1 or released singles chart really low. These are the positions at the lowest of Pharrell and Timbaland's careers...
Pharrell's Lowest Charting Singles
- Lowest Charting Lead Single: "Can I Have It Like That" ft. Gwen Stefani at #49 on the Hot 100.
- Lowest Charting Released Single: "Number One" ft. Kanye West at #57 on the Hot 100.
Timbaland's Lowest Charting Singles
- Lowest Charting Lead Single*: "Morning After Dark" ft. SoShy and Nelly Furtado at #61 on the Hot 100.
- Lowest Charting Released Single*: "Morning After Dark" ft. SoShy and Nelly Furtado at #61 on the Hot 100.
*If the compilation "Bassment" was worth something, then the double nadir is "Here We Come" ft. Magoo, Missy Elliott and Darryl Pearson at #92 on the Hot 100.*
Their nadirs are something of an eerily coincidental nature. At the time of Pharrell's solo nadir, this is when he made it no secret that he saw himself as a producer first and singer a distant second. When In My Mind was released, the consensus is that despite the fact a Pharrell solo album was inevitable it didn't meet ridiculously high expectations for him. Add in "Can I Have It Like That" being eaten alive by critics who lambasted the song left and right, and Pharrell couldn't win in this era.
Timbaland's nadir came after Shock Value II was an unmitigated bust. The success of Shock Value and three of its singles each reaching the top 3 ("Scream" ft. Keri Hilson and Nicole Scherzinger being the song left behind in the dust.) was essentially a fluke. Despite "Carry Out" with Justin Timberlake reaching #11 on the Hot 100, Shock Value II was just a flop of an era. Despite two more Top 40 on the Hot 100 "hits" in "Say Something" with Drake and "If We Ever Meet Again" with Katy Perry [reaching #23 and #37 respectively], the sequel was worse than the original in performance and in reception.
An interesting thing to consider for this war, is Madonna's 11th studio effort Hard Candy. Both producers more or less crossed paths here as they each had their parts in crafting the album. Pharrell had 7 of the 12 tracks while Timbaland had the remaining 5. Of Pharrell's 7, 5 were good which gives roughly a 71% average. Of Timbaland's 5, 2 were good giving it a 40% average. O_-
Sadly, it was the horrible song "4 Minutes" that saw the most success from the album as it remains Madge's last Top 5 "hit".
71% vs. a fluke turned poorly aging Top 5 song...
Now for the final points: iconic singles AKA the one song people know is by that artist.
Pharrell has The Best Pop Solo Performance Grammy winning "Happy" to his name. It may have been the earworm to end all earworms, but it's a song that went to #1 and didn't leave until more or less Taylor Swift or someone said "Fuck this noise; here I come".
Timbaland has either "The Way I Are" or "Give It To Me" and that's a problem. Both are decent but you have to split hairs to get to the technicality that "The Way I Are" is his best known single...even if it was #3 to "Give It To Me" going #1...
After this, it's time to name the winner. One has a reason to be happy; the other did it in the name of shock value; one is a super producer who focused on quality for his solo efforts; one relied on the SNL addict known as Justin Timberlake...
She's Mother Monster; the female pop act who is chided for being "too much like Madonna" (Even though every female pop act is directly of her cloth in some respect...) and the reason weirdos have a good name again. Six years in the music business has spawned wonderful things from Lady Gaga and these are her 30 best songs as I see fit...
***For reference, her efforts The Fame, The Fame Monster, Born This Way and ARTPOP will be the source of most of the picks. In any scope, any Lady Gaga song released or performed is eligible. Yes, Cheek to Cheek is not totally up for consideration (though a cut from that album might appear on the list) but is still an album worth your time.***
30. "MANiCURE" [from ARTPOP]- A track that while indicative of glam rock influence on Gaga, it's the track here with the least personality. It isn't a slant against her singing; it's just saying that arena rock realness isn't exactly a stretch of Gaga's creative side. Still, it's worth time as the production does an even job carrying the song with her vocals.
29. "Jewels N' Drugs" ft. T.I., Too $hort and Twista [from ARTPOP]- Ever wonder what a Lady Gaga cut can sound like when she outright says, "Fuck it; let's do this!"? This is the track from ARTPOP that does that and then some. Despite instances of vibe and soundclash, the rap sections just add an unexpected plus to the track. Gaga's vocals while not the focus still convey the deliciously tacky vibe of "Jewels N' Drugs".
28. "Sexxx Dreams" [from ARTPOP]- While it doesn't "scream" Gaga at first, its trippy confessional production is oddly hypnotizing. In terms of instant re-playable qualities along with the rest of 30-26 aren't exactly begging to be replayed; even if you're a Little Monster. Still, nobody that listened to this song is exactly complaining of the song being passe or uneventful.
27. "Fashion!" [as performed on the Lady Gaga and the Muppets' Holiday Spectacular with RuPaul]- What's better than a fabulous redux of most of "Hair" from Born This Way? Performing it with RuPaul, goddamnit. Performed on national television, this is when Gaga was giving brown lamp shade meets I Dream of Jeannie realness.
26. "Bad Kids" [from Born This Way]- BTW was self-confidence anthem central and while this cut appeals to the most fervent of Little Monsters, it being the top of the 30-26 list isn't exactly much to write home about. What it lacks in Top 25 material, it saves itself by being one of the least cryptic yet still enjoyable songs Mother Monster has ever spawned.
The following is a re-posting of something I said on Tumblr about The NBC Program with Ratings when Season 7 was in the midst of itself or near midst. Strong opinions follow and I'll be real, shit still applies today as much as it did then...
Let’s talk about an unspoken theory regarding success on The Voice (coaches benefit more than contestants). First, we need to remember where each coach was coming from.
First up, Adam Levine…he was coming from near the end of the lukewarm Hands All Over era…”Misery” missed the Top 10, and two other singles after that were complete busts on the U.S. charts so naturally, he needs that exposure. At one point, “Moves Like Jagger” is spawned upon us and is a success…for him and not the other person entirely.
Yeah, Adam had some benefits from The Voice (winning the 1st and 5th season), but not by that much. M5’s next album Overexposed spawned a #1 and 3 Top 10 singles, but the album peaked at #2. Their most recent album, V, continued single success with 2 more Top 10 hits and even helped V go #1. However, if in the span of 3 albums only one song went #1 without it seeming haphazard (“One More Night” because “Moves Like Jagger” is blase trash) saying Adam has benefited more is bullshit.
With this, I end my fifth work. NSFW like the rest, I do want to note that I was impressed with the speed rate in which I wrote Mass Kombat.
Enjoy!
The morning came and in turn, the chance Shepard knew he had to take in ridding of the irate children and Jessie J. Shepard was pondering to himself, “I can’t act like I promised Kaidan a white picket fence after we were honorably discharged.” Kaidan sensed trouble but not uneasiness in him and kissed his paramour on the cheek to bring him from his over-concerned state. He told him, “Babe, look at me. Everything will come to a head today. After this, we can have the settled life we want.” Shepard kissed his cheek in return and told him, “I’m glad I took that sanity check years ago.” He woke Matthew up and told him, “Up and at ‘em soldier. You need a new uniform.”
After refurbishing Will and Kaidan’s t-shirt and casual Alliance trousers respectively for Matthew, Shepard radioed the entire Armada to congregate in the meeting hall. “Leave everything but your precious mementos and weapons.” he advised. “We’re not going to be back after today.” Once out of their quarters, the Commanders and Matthew were met with a readied Authority. Catya’s ring blade, Blyvy’s mace, Violetta’s baseball bat, Will’s brass knuckles, Mileena’s Sais, Nina’s presence and Christie’s caked on with blood boots reaffirmed that after today Shepard and Kaidan were done fighting. They grabbed their combat shotguns and Matthew took the Zhua and demonstrated a freakish proficiency with it. “Well damn.” he said. “Well damn indeed.” Christie began. “Well, fuck this place. We need to head out.”
The beginning of the end of this magical and NSFW adventure. Act III was written from 1/31/15 to the early hours of today, 2/5/15.
Enjoy!
Dr. Chakwas’ return to the base stunned the Authority. Shepard called on Armada soldiers nearby to escort her to the meeting hall. He pondered to himself, “I can’t imagine what happened with the Safeguard to have her end up back here.” Once in the meeting hall, Kaidan resumed interrogation duties for his troubled paramour. “I’m as concerned as you are, babe. Let me have this one.” He eyed Dr. Chakwas and asked her, “In plain English, Dr....what happened in San Francisco in such a short period of time?”
She explained, “I wasn’t even outside of the Safeguard when I was met with horrible news. Silas and Therese were kidnapped from their foster homes by some horrible cretins who descriptions are said to resemble the irate children from the other night.” The Commanders were horrified at the news. Before tears could fall from either of their cheeks, Dr. Chakwas assured them both, “You tried to convince them to stay with you but they didn’t want to fight. They told me this long before they were put through the foster system.” Christie asked her, “So is the Alliance in on you fighting with us?” The Dr. went on to relay, “The Alliance knows I’m here, but only after I took a leave of absence from Safeguard duties.”
Blyvy was mildly offended at the extent of her seemingly sketchy principle. “Leaving a job to protect refugees in order to fight alongside us is as questionably flattering as it is impulsive.” Dr. Chakwas sternly reacted, “I mentioned nothing of abdicating my position at the Safeguard. I’ll have faith your sanctimonious attitude shall subside in due time.” Blyvy didn’t take kindly to the remark and bum rushed the Dr. knocking the axe from her person. As Shepard attempted to break the fight up, Christie intervened. “Don’t be a hero now. Blyvy has a side to her like this one that is beyond ugly to see in person.” Dr. Chakwas stunned those present by being able to beat Blyvy off of her. “Time to meet Karin, you little bitch.” she taunted. Blyvy and Karin engaged in fisticuffs for roughly three hours.
The journey continues for the Armada and its Commanders. NSFW like the lip tar from OCC.
Enjoy!
After what felt like an eternity of endless stagnation in the harbor, Shepard and Kaidan would finally venture into the city in which they had originally planned to settle once they had been honorably discharged from the Alliance. A pyrotechnic mausoleum had been crafted of Christie’s hands to ensure that no turning back was to be done. The cocoon and Armada eventually reached a mall parking garage in downtown Seattle where they planned the next phase of settlement.
Once out of the cocoon and the Armada would assume their roles as personal bodyguards, Catya began a meeting as to where they would take shelter by force. She looked to the Commanders and explained, “We’re known for turning hotels into extravagant yet intimidating bastions of combat.” Perplexed yet compliant, Shepard and Kaidan allowed the meeting to continue. Blyvy was relaying the finds she thought would take the least effort to take over. “There’s a Hilton and a Marriot nearby. Wi-Fi is pretty decent in both and both have a hot breakfast bar.” “Which one has the bigger honeymoon suite for the Commanders?” Violetta wondered. “Their last session together provided some entertainment and surprised us with Shepard having an upper body in terms of sex.”
