Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Explaining the Dry Spell of the Blog

[I have to act like my blog is being read by people, so if this seems histrionic...that's on you, precious.]

This is another stretch, but I think one that will actually help me out. I have been in a funk just short of anything mental illness adjacent and in turn, the blog has been in a dry spell for almost two months since that miraculous four post series, The THOT That Counts.

Sure, I've had dry spells before. Anyone that fancies themselves as a writer* has had a length of time where the motivational factor has seemed to cease.

*anyone questioning me being a writer because I don't have a job writing for say, a music publication or a pop culture website...or writing books or having a job, I refute you all by saying this much. I've had a 9 to 5 feeling of no pay, no sex, no life and feeling empty while being in my own feelings. How? It was called college. It was my academic career which spanned pretty much MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE.*

What makes this different is that at one point not even like a month or two ago, I wasn't able to get out of bed until 7:36 PM. Even with me staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning (not like I have anywhere to be) I always managed to get out of bed at around 12:30 or 1:00, very rarely earlier than that. The point is, something in me snapped beyond my control and I was completely spent.

Personal muck aside, I haven't been writing because I question "what is there to write on here". Most of what comes to mind is either a needless retread or merely a stretch that I can't commit to carrying out. As for the only drafts I have saved, they're for the only two confirmed songs from Steve Grand for his next album coming out...whenever (by now, he'll barely release another vlog at his discretion. All T, All Shade a Provincetown residency can't possibly take THAT much out of you. OK I know he works/gets gigs/got gigs during the residency too, but I've not even been passive aggressive in the open about his seemingly misplaced priorities.)

All I know is that in that one interview he gave on some radio show I don't want to name check because the host is terrible, he mentioned a possible cover album or more covers in the near future. "Walking", the #SG2 lead single, is still worth listening [even if I've done more to promote the lyric video and let's face it music video than he has which let's be real is fucking pathetic. I've said this on Twitter before and I will say it again; if I'M fighting for your music more than YOU, the person who made it, that's a problem.] That's not even getting into the fact that the video still has under 140,000 views in the over 3 months since its release but I digress to the next bit:
As for what will become of "Don't Let the Light In" and "Good to See You", it's up in the air. Not another snippet from either has appeared since their respective vlog features from when he was still doing those ("umm, he had bear week in Ptown...err a residency to look forward to, plan and execute well. It's like Britney's residency only with live singing. Let him spend his days on social media; it's pretty much the new studio anyway." In the immortal words of Raja: fuck off, Dana.)

I'm not actually bitter and angry to where I've had enough of him let alone anything in...oh this got personal and I was projecting. Well it's either this or bottle up feelings and let things get worse. To close this out, I haven't been writing because I haven't been inspired by anything.

What makes it different is that I'm actually affected by it instead of being nonchalant about it which is a huge deal for me. Yes, I'm pretty much a male version of Daria with way more blatant moments of verbal bite.
For once, I'm unable to mask my true feelings and while it's probably good in regards of long term satisfaction, getting there sucks and I hate it. If I get back to writing based on inspiration (or trying to drive forth good press BASED IN MUSIC COMING FIRST), I'll know it and will get to it when it happens.

Until then, I'm in a dry spell that's probably way deeper than I want to realize.