Tuesday, October 27, 2015

The Voice S9: RIH-fresher Course

The Rihanna puns will stop when the NBC Program with Ratings produce a Kelly Clarkson of their own...or when the Knockouts end. Whichever comes first...-_-

After yesterday's aired showing [and alleged T/Tea that Ellie Lawrence had laryngitis the day of her Knockouts...-_-], Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Gwen and Pharrell continue narrowing down their teams to Live Playoff presentation.
In favorites corner, Madi Davis survived and now Regina Love, Evan McKeel, Tim Atlas and Shelby Brown await their fates.

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on! *NOTE: It's fresh as a flower in roughly an hour because that tubid game show is on again. Goddamn Neil Patrick Harris...*

First up, Korin Bukowski vs. Summer Schappell of Team Gwen. Korin picked "All I Want" by Kodaline. STAY AWAY FROM DEANNA JOHNSON'S SONG YOU UNWORTHY WRETCH. Summer picked "Little White Church" by Little Big Town. Rehearsals indicate Korin was still ~quirky~/uncomfortable with existing...oh and nerves were screwing with her already underdeveloped singing. Summer was apparently trying to be "sassy" with a country song. Miscasting on fleek as Summer...has no personality in or outside of singing.

Come showtime, Korin was less ~quirky~ and more bearable graded against herself. Keeping with contestants, she's still terrible. Plus most of her notes sounded monotonous on top of being botched as fuck. Summer did end up possessing some hammy theatrics, but her singing was awful. Sans fuckery, Gwen picked Korin as the winner. Summer was not stolen and was booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Second, Dustin Christensen vs. Keith Semple of Team Adam.
Dustin picked "Free" by Zac Brown Band. Keith picked "I Want To Know What Love Is" by Foreigner. -_- Rehearsals indicate Dustin was trying to incorporate "genre-hopping" into his identity. Rihanna in turn called out vibrato on Dustin and telling him when to use it. Keith was given technical notes to hit but arena rock selection made me tune out like it was my job to.

Come showtime, Dustin pulled an Austin Jenckes of being consistent but being COMPLETELY BORING; a death knell on the show if there's always one constant thing about it. Keith played off of the fact that his song selection "resonates" with people in the cheapest way [no effort given but wanting people to make noise? VERY ~arena rock!~] Sans fuckery, Adam picked Keith as the winner. Dustin is not stolen and is given the boot from S9.

Finally, Darius Scott vs. Morgan Frazier of Team Pharrell. Darius picked "On Broadway" by The Drifters & George Benson. Morgan picked "Even If It Breaks Your Heart" by Eli Young Band. Rehearsals indicate Darius went ahead with a song "in his wheelhouse" like people should. Yet, his potential was clocked for seeming like he was resting on his laurels. Morgan was being clocked for being too stiff/being a perfectionist in vocals with some personality critiques as well.

Come showtime, Darius sounded like he had more "pizzazz" but it still came across so low-energy. Still his soulfulness carried him for 2/3 of the performance. Morgan sounded less boring than she had in the past, but she still sounds beige especially for a country aspiring act. Sans fuckery, Pharrell picked Darius as the winner. Last Knockout means the steal was used and Blake used it on Morgan.

All in all, no favorites competed so I really didn't give a fuck about these contestants. OH WELL.

Up next for scrutiny, Part III of The Knockouts.

Monday, October 26, 2015

The Voice S9: Serving Up RIH-freshments

[This marks the 250th post for the blog; YAY!]

In terms of "big names" in the music industry, the NBC Program with Ratings struck platinum and gold when it was revealed that Rihanna was this season's Knockout Rounds advisor. In terms of live singers with the technical skills, they got a big name that's cool with the kids these days -_-

Despite that, I among the masochistic viewers of the show are wondering just how the hell 2+2=4 in this applied context. How can Rihanna help Mr. and Mr. Shevine*, Gwen and Pharrell narrow down their teams for the Playoff rounds [since it's probably not live anymore until the Top 12]?
*For the record, the only artist that's sung anything with Rihanna was Adam back when Maroon 5 released a publicity stunt remix and music video for "If I Never See Your Face Again" back in 2010/2011.*

The favorites left since the Battle Rounds? Regina Love [Gwen], Tim Atlas [Pharrell], Madi Davis [Pharrell], Evan McKeel [Pharrell] and Shelby Brown [Adam]. Yup, this could be a short recapping season and then some...O_O These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

The Voice S9: Three's Too Little Company

Normally, I'd be way snarkier and feign investment but today is weird and I can't. In other words, I have "Battles Fatigue".

Here's the montaged nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Whoop de fucking doo...

First, Amanda Ayala vs. Shelby Brown of Team Adam. They were assigned "Edge of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks. GROSS; BAN THIS SONG FROM LIFE. Also, both contestants are under 20 by at least 5 years or so [maybe]. MISCASTING on every level. Rehearsals indicate that Amanda had the genre advantage but Shelby had the technical advantage despite timing issues.
Come showtime, the unison vocals sounded resonant but not controlled. Amanda sounded less developed than Shelby who managed to overcome the timing issues and seem more natural. Sans fuckery, Adam ended up picking Shelby as the winner. Not last battle means Amanda was booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEE.

Second, Amy Vachal vs. Jubal & Amanda of Team Pharrell. They were assigned "To Love Somebody" by Bee Gees. Rehearsals indicate Missy Elliott is perhaps the most disappointing mentor yet. Does she need Katy Perry to open up for her to come alive in 2015? Also, 2 vs. 1/harmony vs. alleged raw talent...zzzzzzz.
Come showtime, Amy's vocals were still breathy but less insufferable than her audition. Jubal sounded nasal and twangy while Amanda sounded resonant but without control. Together, it was a bum note or 5 away from being soundclash.
Sans fuckery, Pharrell ended up picking Amy as the winner. Not last battle means Jubal & Amanda were booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

MONTAGE VICTIMS [Go to hell, Neil Patrick Harris]:

- Daria Jazmin vs. Darius Scott of Team Pharrell. Darius ended up winning.

- Cole Criskie vs. Nadjah Nicole of Team Blake. Nadjah ended up winning.

- Hanna Ashbrook vs. Summer Schappell of Team Gwen. Summer ended up winning.

Better luck in the knockouts (Mainly because none of you are Rebekah Samarin.)

Closing out the battles of S9, Emily Ann Roberts vs. Morgan Frazier of Team Blake. They were assigned "I'm That Kind of Girl" by Patty Loveless. Rehearsals indicate that the winner would be who could give a "modern" take on a song by someone named Patty Loveless. Come showtime, Emily sounded too meek while Morgan sounded too wahey and dare I say...karaoke. That resulted in both of them sounding mediocre.
Sans fuckery, Blake ended up picking Emily Ann as the winner. Last battle means Pharrell uses his last steal on Morgan. -_- GURL. BYE. How dare you.

All in all, today was weird & I'll be back in fighting form next week.

Up next for scrutiny, Part I of the Knockouts.

Monday, October 19, 2015

The Voice S9: Battles Royale Part III

The NBC Program with Ratings continues its slow descent into pushing a winner down viewer throats only for the winner to be put to the side/be told BYEEEEEEEEE by Universal Republic* (The same label that has the likes of Nicki Minaj, The Weeknd & Matt McAndrew...)
*Which brings me to the point that of the myriad of coaches to have been on this show, only Adam Levine and Gwen Stefani have been and are still on a Universal label [both Interscope]. All other coaches have been with Warner and Sony labels during their tenure on the show...*

Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Gwen and Pharrell still have the questionable decisions at hand and something tells me consistency will favor them instead of the contestants again. Tim Atlas became a new favorite while Ivonne Acero has earned ire for picking Blake as her new coach. Nice knowing you chica; Blake doesn't pick GOOD steals to advance (Proof: Nic Hawk from S5.)
These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Beach Poetry: Notes from The Author (Me)

As promised, these are the notes for the mini-series I've now posted.

This “mini-series” is inspired by the love I have for singer/songwriter Steve Grand. His kindness to me online is the main reason I’ve been grappling with so many emotions since late July of this year. “Cameo” appearances from certain online friends also made appearances as I sort of latched on to them as a source of inspiration. Here’s what I’m decoding for readers of this:

The beach – the original trigger for this series was when Steve made it known he’s very fond of the beach. In applied context to the series, it’s the setting for the 2 “main” characters” I feel would meet up and perhaps fall for each other consequence and reservation free.

“Mr. Yellow Moon” – one code name for Steve inspired by the lyric “We are the yellow moon in the sky” from his song “We Are the Night”.

“Water” and “air” – the other codename for Steve and the code name for me (when not using I) respectively. This along with “fish” and “scales” are inspired by Western astrology as he’s a Pisces and I’m a Libra (sun signs only) and these signs are often cited as opposites that are attracted to each other.
In applied context, these are the two  “main” characters that are opposites in elemental context but mainly from the “observance”/”idle” perspective of air.

“The gold coast that glitters too” – the representation of ideal scenarios coming true that’s a play on the saying “all that glitters is not gold”; this case means it’s what someone wants and they actually get to have it. It’s what I believe Steve will have.
In applied context, it’s a thought of “what’s heaven like for a water sign?” I ended up using the idyllic setting of clear water brushing up against the sands of a well-maintained beach.

“The two Josephs” – two online friends of mine that happen to be named Joe/Joseph. It was from the one who answers to Joe most of the time I saw the hearsay that Steve would someday like to settle southwest of Los Angeles and Joe wanted to know if it was anywhere close to or in San Diego. Both of them are nice people and I included the one who's simply Joseph as it seems he likes to be included in many social settings but stand out.

“The Wiccan” – an online friend named Chad who was the one who ended up telling me of the other hearsay of Steve having a specific type of near “alpha male” specifics [“Steve into... is from what I gather dark skin built to the nines like Italian Spanish etc..”] I in turn pointed out that it has been said by Steve himself that confidence is the sexiest thing about a guy. It isn't saying Chad's a bad person because he's not. Hearsay is just that; hearsay.

Scene V/”When the Waves Crashed” – late July/early August appear peppered throughout the series, but Scene V is when I divulge what happened...sort of. Around the time of Steve’s social media hiatus, I was at my brother’s wedding but all through the way I was getting sick. Soon after the hiatus began it got worse [stomach churning, stress/shot nerves]. Being affected like this is what had me thinking I love him because I was crying my eyes out over him and wanting him to be OK.

While writing the poems out, I had listened to these songs:

- "High By the Beach" by Lana Del Rey- the main soundtrack for scenes 2-6, but can be played for scene 1 as well. The significance of this track is that the vibe of the song fits in with the swirling emotions that inspired the poems in the first place.

- "Titans" (interlude) by Dawn- the main soundtrack to scene 1, but can be played for scenes 2-6 as well. The significance of this track is that prior to writing this mini-series, I played "Songwriter"/"Album" and "wrote" a song based off of this interlude (more or less; I extended the amount of lines there) where lines from scenes 1 and 2 are somewhat replicated there.

- "West Coast" by Lana Del Rey- the main soundtrack for scene 7 and only scene 7. The significance of this track is that the psychedelic vibes of this song fit in with presenting the "heaven" setting of "the gold coast that glitters too".

Beach Poetry: Scenes 4-7

This is a "mini-series" of poems inspired by very personal feelings I won't disclose until I post the notes for this series later. "Scene IV" was written on October 11th, 2015 and "Scene V", "Scene VI" and "Scene VII" were written on October 13th, 2015.

Scene IV: "The Night Sky"

The night is not an element
But it creates new identities
With “water” and “air” at the beach.
In the day, water is bright
And inviting but can only
Reveal so much.

At night, water becomes warm
After taking heat from the Earth.
The warm side of water is sadly ignored
As no one but the air
Is around to see the warmth
Despite the darkness all around.

In the day, air is distant
But observant and sensory
Even if it seems too idle.
At night, the air has mild warmth
To not be confused with the Earth
Which has only grown colder at night.

The beach is meant for water and air
Although fire and Earth watch only
To fade away from its impulse
And grow cold after time “respectively”.
As for water and air, the beach
And in turn the night sky turn into sanctums.

In the day, “Mr. Yellow Moon”
Presents himself emotionally pristine
At the risk of being labeled “manufactured”.
At night, he exudes warmth
With his darkness being nothing
But unappreciated passion.

In the day, I’m idle until
He calls for me.
At night, I’m less intense
And am able to see him
For who I think he is
Thanks to the night sky.

Beach Poetry: Scenes 1-3

This is a "mini-series" of poems inspired by very personal feelings I won't disclose until I post the notes for this series later. "Scenes" I - III were written on October 7th, 2015.

SCENE I: "Coasting"

The only man I love now
Is more attainable than I’ve had.
Two years ago
I didn’t know that
I’d love the very same man
That to this day, I still don’t know.

He’s water.
I’m air.
We only meet up at the beach
And our foundation
Is no more stable
Than the sand.

He’s a water sign
Twenty thousand leagues deep.
A male siren
That can make me wax poetic
And will have me
Even though he doesn’t know me.

The best I can do
Is find the beach
He resides at intermittently.
His happiness is landlocked
But only because he’s yet to find
A gold coast that glitters too.

In my element,
I glide down to see him hug the sand
To no avail.
I assume he looks at me,
Smiles and thinks
“Silver’s not that bad a color.”

If a silver lining;
A reason to keep faith in something;
Certainty in something he has,
But no longer wants by itself;
I’ll be coasting for him
No matter how much it will hurt me.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Voice S9: Less Battle, More Skirmish

The NBC Program with Ratings continues to slog along with the usual set of fuckery viewers/masochists like myself have had to settle for as singing shows die out left and right.

This one hour installment (Do we really need a Neil Patrick Harris game show? Seriously, enough of this condensing The Voice.) sees more of Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Gwen and Pharrell build teams to advance to the Knockouts to face advising by Rihanna (Who let's face facts can't sing more than "Stay" and "FourFiveSeconds" live.) Let's find out who will get just a bit more screen time than Rebekah Samarin in this round.
*SIDE NOTE to Carson: Calling Selena Gomez an "award winning pop star"? REALLY, bitch? I didn't know a terrible singer with no #1 hits with maybe a Nickelodeon kids choice award counted for being a pop star.*

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

Monday, October 12, 2015

The Voice S9: Battle of the BLANDS

After 5 episodes of Blind Auditions, the NBC Program with Ratings continues its quest to not make a much needed Kelly Clarkson (It wouldn't kill the coaches OR the voting public to stick with someone no matter how much I hate that winner.) Hope for me comes with 6 good contestants overall; 4 on Team Pharrell and 2 on Team Adam (Blake is pretty much CMT with his team but it's Gwen with the worst taste. How the fuck did that happen?)

Over the course of the Battles, I'll be checking to see how the Original Six [Ivonne Acero, Evan McKeel, Madi Davis and Celeste Betton on Team Pharrell and Regina Love and Shelby Brown on Team Adam] fair against the bland and overpraised. Sydney Rhame of Team Pharrell is on deck for favorite status granted if Pharrell brings potential out of her and keeps her and she DOESN'T GO COUNTRY.

NOTE: I will be implementing and adapting my policy for the Battle Rounds as a safeguard; my policy being if all my favorites are eliminated well before the finale, I jump ship from the recapping season.

In this case, I jump ship from S9 if all my favorites [with and/or without new favorites] are eliminated before the Knockout Rounds.

Time to find out how this turns out. These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

Monday, October 5, 2015

The Voice S9: Candy CRUSHED

Tonight, the coaches finished building their teams of potential Cascade Platinum selling artists. After so many auditions and only 5 good auditions this season, let's see the potential fuck-ups the coaches made...err, let's see who else gets a chance to show off their "epic" talent in the words of Voiceover Carson.

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!