Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Voice S7: A FOURce of Nature

[The title is merely pun-ferrific; deal with it.]

In a delightful turn of events, the standouts from the NBC program with ratings is now plural. Joining Clara Hong are Kelli Douglas and S3 reject turned S7 4-chair turn, Anita Antoinette AKA Anita Antoi-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!
Tonight marks part 4 of Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Smokey the Bear's Hat and Gwen sifting through auditions hoping to find this show's Kelly Clarkson.

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and Flirt-cruiting that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First up as FOURplay (live with the pun), Katriz Trinidad; Katriz? Really? A pageant winner turned singer *yawns*. She auditioned with "At Last" by Etta James. This is the most mediocre and bland version of the song ever sung. Amazingly, she advanced past the first note as all but Adam turned around. I side with Adam because that chick was way too subdued in this vocal. Sans the fuckery, she picked Pharrell as her coach.

Second, Ethan Butler; another Gospel artist "battling" with the "secular" side of his dreams. He auditioned with "Beneath Your Beautiful" by Labrinth ft. Emeli Sande. In about 3.16 seconds, Mr. and Mr. Shevine turn for him (and amazingly don't turn to salt) and tried to woo the dude. His revelation was to pick Adam as his coach.

Third, Tanner Linford; a reject from S6 who had the nervous system of a squirrel. He auditioned with "When You Say Nothing at All" by Allison Krauss. He sounded improved by a long mile. For a while it looked like he'd strike out again. Then, Blake turns and saves Tanner from rejection. Also, he apparently sounds like a chick. I just thought he sounded like a hyperactive squirrel.

Fourth, Roem Baur; an opera like vocalist/Chris Mann wannabe whose name sounds like a Grace Jones vocal warmup. Also, he's a PLANT as it's revealed he performed for SXSW. He auditioned with "Pretty Woman" by Roy Orbison. I knew this wasn't going to end up well. When he was shaky in the chorus, shit went South. Leave it to Pharrell for calling out his trying to emulate vs. trying to express himself. He ended up a S7 reject. The fat lady sang better than he did. Sorryboutit!

Fifth, Jean Kelley Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers; Dance on air. A singer mourning her mother's death all these years later. She auditioned with "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. She had projection on her side, but pitch wasn't quite there. As far as perceived sound, I thought she's in the middle of breathiness and powerhouse. Gwen and Blake end up turning for her & after the fuckery, she picked Gwen as her coach.

Sixth, Chris Jamison; seems like a boring one but at least he's marginally attractive. He auditioned with "Gravity" by John Mayer. He ends up a 4-chair turn and I don't exactly know why. He blended in with an already beige/safe song and did nothing to indicate if he has anything to a unique or at least competent singing voice. After begging and pleading from the coaches, he picked Adam as his coach.

Seventh, Craig Wayne Boyd; that name is whiter than a baseball diamond. He's also a Dad with Dreams. He auditioned with "The Whiskey Ain't Workin'" by Travis Tritt. For country-bait, he might annoy me with his presence just like the others of past. Pharrell and Blake are the ones who end up turning for him. After the banter, he ends up picking Blake as his coach. I'm shocked -_-

Eighth, Tini Grey; another Dad with Dreams who happens to be from Samoa. He auditioned with "Sara Smile"; the same song that got Dez Duron through onto S3. At the end, he ended up a S7 reject because he lost momentum.

REJECT MONTAGE; Better luck next season!

Ninth, Toia Jones; another Jeebus turned "Secular" singer. She auditioned with "One and Only" by Adele. Something about her sounded a bit like American Idol winner Candice Glover and that wasn't the worst thing ever. She has a lot of potential and thankfully got Adam and Pharrell to turn for her. After that fuckery she picked Pharrell as her coach.

Tenth, Amanda Lee Peers; she loves her some Jeebus and happens to be a lesbian. She auditioned with "Put the Gun Down" by ZZ Ward. She's got some potential but I couldn't tell if she was trying to establish an indie rock or pop/country identity. She ended up defaulting to Gwen's team. She got a good one.

BORING PEOPLE MONTAGE! At least you made it to the show:

Gianna Salvato [Team Gwen], Rebekah Samarin [Team Adam] & Grant Ganzer [Team Blake].

Finally, Jonathan Wyndham; a Cracker Barrel pit-stop enthusiast. He auditioned with "Say Something" by A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera. His singing was a touch too schmoozy/smooth in a bad way for my liking. He ends up a 4-chair turn and I can't agree with this. Maybe a Mr. and Mr. Shevine fight candidate but all 4? Something seemed missing from him. Past the fuckery, he picks Adam as his coach. Now that shocked me. O_O

Overall, S7 is going to be the make or "Are you fucking kidding me; you've had 7 seasons to find a Kelly Clarkson level breakout sensation and fucked up again!" break season. Something; maybe wishful thinking is going to find this show's breakout sensation.

Up next for scrutiny, Part V of the Blind Auditions.

Monday, September 29, 2014

The Voice S7: Bad Judges of Character

[The episode title is a reference to NBC's latest attempt at a sitcom starring Kate Walsh called Bad Judge.]

Tonight continues the contractual journey Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Pharrell and Gwen Stefani took to perhaps find another shit winner whose album would insult the 99 cent bin the "Kelly Clarkson" the NBC program with ratings needs (You've already defeated The X Factor cleanly and are ready to bury American Idol. Find a winner who doesn't suck.) Standout from week 1 include Clara Hong. Let's hope this standout list can become plural.

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter and fuckery that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First up for the fire, John Martin; a singer who packs stuff in boxes for a day job. He auditioned with "Sweet Pea" by Amos Lee. It's a bad sign when someone whistles for the first few notes in an audition. It came across like a David Dunn from S2 knockoff but with none of the charm. Amazingly, Adam is the only one who doesn't turn (I side with him on this.) After the fuckery, he picks Blake as his coach.

Second, Jessie Pitts; another competitor who needs a new name. Also, she is the biggest plant to ever plant with three teaspoons and a pinch of plant for accoutrement as it was revealed she worked at a record label. She auditioned with "The Story" by Brandi Carlile. Her breathy tones weren't dulcet nor captivating enough to carry a song like this. Gwen and Blake were the ones who turned for her. Sans cereal related fuckery, she picks Gwen as her coach.

Third, Michael Stein; the musical director who mixes Judaism and a violin...err..."fiddle". O_O He auditioned with "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by Charlie Daniels. He played this "fiddle" thing, was terrible with the song and got no chairs. Bye Mr. Stein. Nice knowing you.

Fourth, Ricky Manning; a shy-guy singer *snores* sorry, what? He auditioned with "Love Me Again". I wasn't terribly convinced he was more than a Battle Round foot note. The singing took a long time for anything decent to come forth. Blake and Pharrell end up turning for him. After the fuckery, he ends up picking Pharrell as his coach.

REJECT MONTAGE! Better luck next season.

Fifth, Kelli Douglas; Mom with Dreams and has a degree in Corporate Communications. SHE.E.O realness at The Voice Ball EXTRAVAGANZA! She auditioned with "Danny's Song" by Kenny Loggins. This one was actually good despite her song selection. All but Gwen turn for her and I side with the coaches who turned. She had very nice clean and inviting tones. After Adam tried to "flirt-cruit" her, she picks Adam as her coach. #FlirtCruit is now a thing, y'all.

Sixth, Blessing Offor; another plant as it was revealed he played at the Kennedie Center [home of the honors in their name]. Also, he happens to be blind. He auditioned with "Just The Two of Us". I actually liked his sound. At the last minute, all 4 coaches turn for him. Once they didn't turn a blind eye for him (Goddamnit.) he picks Pharrell as his coach.

Seventh, Troy Ritchie; he decides to be "cute" and do some impersonations. This ain't America's Got Talent, muthafucka. He auditioned with "Out of My League". He was out of The Voice's league that's for sure. He was doing his best not to strain, but man was he straining like he was running too much. Gwen was the only one to turn for him. O_o Gwen; no...no...GURL NO. He defaulted to her as she was the only one to turn for him.

Eighth, Cole Wilkinson; a Texas boy so white and country I thought of Hee-Haw in the 70s. He auditioned with "Classic" by MKTO. He fits the song (Some T, Some Shade) due to his non-threatening whiteness. Due to his singing being terrible, he ends up another reject. Rejects on this show are so nice <3

Ninth, Mia Pfirrman; her parents were in a group called September. Forget PLANT; she's a SEED. She auditioned with "Unconditionally" by Katy Perry. -_- A Katy song that isn't "Fireworks" or "Hot N Cold"? BYE FELICIA. Her singing was sorely lacking in anything good; she strained for some notes so much. All 4 chairs turned and I hate all the coaches. After some serious overpraising from the coaches, she picks Adam as her coach.

BORING PEOPLE MONTAGE...congrats to these people who made it but don't get the good side filmed yet...

Alessandra Castronovo [Team Adam]; Jordy Sercy [Team Pharrell] and Kensington Moore [Team Blake].

Tenth, Bree Fondacaro; she helps her Mom and Dad with their music program. She auditioned with "It Ain't Me Babe" by Bob Dylan. I detected some Grace Askew level "bluntry" bullshit. Not worth my time, but that's just me. She ends up defaulting to Blake's team and I wasn't surprised. I smelled some country-ish bullshit to begin with.

Finally, Anita Antoinette who auditioned back in S3 but took her sweet ass time to return. She auditioned with "Turn Your Lights Down Low" by Bob Marley. MJSBIGBLOG spoiled that she ended up a 4-chair turn. Was it justified? I think so as she was able to overcome whatever topophobia [stage fright] she had in the past. After the fuckery, she picked Gwen as her coach.

Overall S7 seems to be victim of the recurring theme when singers pick really beige/overdone/safe songs. Can someone take a risk and perform anything by Cody Belew, Steve Grand, Kelis, Lana Del Rey, Janelle Monaé, Lady Gaga, Azealia Banks or Donna Summer please?

Up next for scrutiny, Part IV of the Blind Auditions.

Friday, September 26, 2014

The Voice Voters Are Anti-Disco

***The following is a rant with strong views.***

NBC's program with ratings prides itself on being welcoming of singers across multiple genres of music [who are judged in turn on whether or not they can adapt to other genres]. In 6 going on 7 seasons, this much can be said for the public half of the judging front. The Voice's voting audience are anti-disco and that must be put to a stop.

This trend of being anti-disco has been in action since Season 2 when Cheesa was in the bottom three for one of her better (if not tolerable) performances of "Don't Leave Me This Way" by Thelma Houston. Although eliminated the week after that, the trend at the current time is whenever a contestant in the Live shows performs a disco song, that's the week they go home. This is by far the dumbest and most inexplicable trend exhibited in TV competition shows.

Victims of what I call the "Disco Death Knell" include Season 4 contestant Sasha Allen who was inexplicably eliminated after a rousing performance of "Bad Girls" by Donna Summer & Season 5 contestant Tamara Chauniece who should've advanced after a very entertaining performance of "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor.
Why so few contestants in a noticeable trend? That's because no one else has tried to defy the odds and sing disco anymore.

Disco songs are everything that critics including me ask for; a song that requires vocal prowess while asking that the artist let go of any personal hang-ups they have and entertain the crowd. Yet The Voice's voting block has always punished an artist for going disco. One of my best guesses is that these voters are pissed off and jaded rock lovers who can't accept the fact that rock is dead and the modern world is moving on.
Another of my best guesses is that these voters are based out of the U.S. South and hate everything that isn't gravy sweating, alcoholic country music.

Here's a suggestion for Voice voters wishing someone could be the Kelly Clarkson of the show; stop being anti-disco and accept that artists who don't sing disco and go on to win have failed miserably. If the most "successful" of this bunch is a rock singer turned country act whose debut bombed at #9 with 43,000 copies in the first week, then the anti-disco sentiment needs to stop.
It isn't just saying the voters are plagued with tastes for country and rock music. The hatred of anything disco or disco adjacent is proof in the winners of the show. A Dad with Dreams who sang nothing but tacky ballads? Check. A backup singer with the overall appeal of dish water? Check. Aforementioned rocker turned country act with vibrato for eons? Check. A country act who's more beige than a car interior? Check. An overrated backup singer whose promotional outputs for her album was The Voice Tour? Check. Another Dad with Dreams whose album was less important than taking an inexplicably handed role in Pippin on Broadway? Check.

There has never been anything wrong with disco music in terms of sheer pleasure. Yes, there was an oversaturation of it in its heyday but this one disco sin of the past should not be the reason a worthy contestant is eliminated. Keep in mind; this trend is so haunting that in 6 going on 7 seasons only 3; count it again; 3 disco songs have ever been performed for votes.
Start putting on your boogie shoes, voters. Country is plagued by terrible offsets like "Bro" country and rock is dead. Disco can be groovy and has actual singing.

***This has been a rant with strong views.***

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The Voice S7: Blind Auditions II: The Electric Sequeloo Remake's Revenge

Tonight marks the second round of auditions for the NBC show with ratings (Parenthood and such...this is where you walk out of the room.) The only standout from last night? Clara Hong (Though I'm sure other recappers fixated right on Taylor John Williams because he hopped on the good foot and did the Dia Frampton/Lindsay Paveo thing.)

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter and fuckery that commenced...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First up in the Court of Public Opinion, Danica Shirey; a Mom with Dreams...impress me with singing and can your tears. Notsorryboutit. She auditioned with "Big White Room" by Jessie J. Adam, Gwen & Pharrell turn for her. Her singing was OK at best; the little nymph-like or fairy-like notes in the beginning just sounded like she was sharp. After the needless fuckery, she picked Pharrell as her coach.

Second, Joe Kirk...I swear his name type was on S3. O_o He auditioned with "Lego House" by Ed Sheeran. All the coaches turn for him. He's got the non-threatening thing Sheeran has going for him, but as a singer he sounds sorely underdeveloped yet straining. After fuckery from Blake in a giant hat, he picks Adam as his coach.

Third, Menlik Zergabachew...something or other ("Sweetheart; I'm sure you're lovely, but get a goddamn stage name"). He needs a stage name fast. He auditioned with "Santeria" by Sublime. His vibe gives reggae so it was shocking to see Blake turn first. Eventually Gwen turns around and the fuckery became country vs. ska. Sans fuckery, he picks Gwen as his coach.

Fourth, Jimi Milligan; a Dad with Dreams whose sob story will not make up for anything he does on stage. He auditioned with "Get Ready". Hmmm...his singing was reminiscent of Austin Jenckes from S5; clean but lackluster. The result is him becoming a S7 reject. Remember; the rejects of this show are soooo nice.

Fifth, Reagan James who's from the same place in Texas as Kelly Clarkson. YOU AIN'T KELLY CLARKSON, GURL. She auditioned with "Give Me Love" by Ed Sheeran. Gwen and Blake end up turning for her even though she wanted Pharrell to be her coach. Fuckery aside she later picks Blake as her coach. R&B singer on a country team...BYE FELICIA. You'll never be heard from again.

Sixth, Taylor Phelan. He auditions with "Sweater Weather" by the NBHD. The Voice's Twitter account spoiled that he gets all 4 chairs to turn. Singing terms has this one joining the non-threatening white guy motif; could be good but so vanilla and beige. Sans coach fuckery, he ends up picking Pharrell as his coach.

Seventh, Caitlin "PEZ is LYFE <3" Lucia who happened to swagger-jack Caroline Pennell from S5. She auditioned with "You're The One That I Want" by Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta. She gave it a way too subtle take on it and it bit her on the ass as she became a reject of S7.

Eighth, Sugar Joans...that's not a porn star name...that's her name. She auditioned with "Chain of Fools" by Aretha Franklin. I can't with this one trying to be all Christina Aguilera minus the talent. At the last minute, Sugar is saved by Gwen and Blake. I highly disagree with this decision. Sans Pharrell's horny ass being frustrated he isn't getting "Sugar", she picks Gwen as her coach. (*Sugar...I'll tell you what I told Anna Mae Bullock and Dustin Hatzenbuhler; get a goddamn stage name.*)

Ninth, Taylor Brashears who serves from a food truck by day and sings by not food truck food slinging hours. She auditioned with "You Ain't Woman Enough (To Take My Man)" by Loretta Lynn. All but Gwen turn around for her (Thank you Gwen oh so much.) Sans the fuckery, she picks Blake to be her coach. -_- My ZOD I am shocked. -_- -_- -_- -_-

Tenth, Andy Cherry who happens to be all "Twerking 4 Jesus". He reveals he once had a record deal with a Christian music label but low sales made everything awry. Forget PLANT; this dude is a mustard seed. He auditioned with "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" by Tears for Fears. Sadly he was not able to follow the North Star and became another S7 reject.

Finally, Maiya Sykes. She auditioned with "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith. BEGONE, terrible song and selector of said song. Yale education with triple major be damned. She got all 4 chairs to turn and that means nothing if I can already smell a HRFH style edit. Ugh, once they asked her if she could sing their favorite page of the phone book, she picks Pharrell as her coach.

Overall. 2 nights down and SHEEZUS knows how many more nights of auditions turned Battle Rounds 1 and 2 to go...and I will be recapping and reading for filth as I see fit.

Up next for scrutiny, Part III of the Blind Auditions.

Monday, September 22, 2014

The Voice S7: The Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show

[Today's episode title comes from The Simpsons Season 10 finale "Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo" game show the titular family competed on to save their asses. Plus it acts as a way to remind us that The Voice has wacky as fuck formats.]

The NBC program with ratings is back on the air. *Hooray* Joining Mr. and Mr. Shevine this season are Producer/Recording artist Pharrell and No Doubt lead singer/solo act in her own right, Gwen Stefani. Let's hope to God the Blind Auditions can have contestants worth a damn in the long haul (Re-living S6 is something not worth my time.) These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter and fuckery that commenced...

Let's play rough and get it on! *Cut past the coaches introduction performance of "Hella Good" by Gwen's band No Doubt. Bottom line is Blake should've been in the audience.*

Getting the S7 Baptism of Fire is Luke Wade. He's a white guy trying his hand at soul. He auditions with "That's How Strong My Love Is" as done by Otis Redding. Spoilers warned me he was a 4 chair turn. -_- He honestly was not worth 4 chairs. SHEEZUS; he is a decent singer but 4 chair, no. Luke eventually picks Pharrell to be his coach.

Second, Clara Hong; a South Korean born singer who learned English through music. She auditions with "Chuck E's in Love" by Rickee Lee Jones. Her breathy and dulcet tones are nothing new to the show, but I did find her voice rather clean. All but Blake turn for her. "Silk" is the secret password, Gwen sings a song and needless poetry is recited by Adam...ugh. Finally, Clara chooses Adam as her coach.

Third, Bryana Salaz who happens to be from San Antonio, TX. You ain't Deja Hall yet, toots. She auditions with "Problem" by Ariana Grande ft. Iggy Azalea. All but Pharrell turn and I side with him. This chick had projection and breath control issues throughout her audition. Adam throwing shade towards Gwen was the only highlight of this fakakta audition. She eventually picks Gwen as her coach (Credit to her for not picking Blake unlike Paula DeAnda from S6. Who, you ask? EXACTLY.)

Fourth, Dennis Bell whose appearance screams Team Blake. He auditions with "She Used to Be Mine". He deserved a chance to audition, but his sound was a little lacking in oomph or captivation. He ends up the first reject of S7. Considering that was his first performance after 22 years of taking over his father's business post unfortunate circumstances, he needs practice and nothing else.

Fifth, Damien (One name; like Cher). He auditions with "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday" by Boyz II Men. His singing does have nice commitment to the emotive contents of the song. He got all 4 chairs to turn. He ends up crying after the song, but it plays to his ability to connect emotionally. He ends up picking Adam as his coach.

Sixth, Allison Bray who auditioned last season but didn't make it. I actually like this one from last season. She auditions with "Merry Go Round" by Kacey Musgraves. Yup; so much for the girl who wanted to break from country music. -_- All but Pharrell turn for this one, but whatever. She sold out for country music and I will not support her [last time, she was of the Deanna Johnson of "Country environment, pop singer at heart".] So she picks Blake to be her coach.

Seventh, Megg. Yup; another Cher type one name only. She auditions with "Celebrity Skin" by Hole. Bad; bad; bad; bad...not convincing at all. It's a bad sign that I wanted her to be in a montage of rejects. She ends up another reject of S7.

Eighth, Taylor John Williams. He auditions with "Heartless" by Kanye West. Ugh; damn you Dia Frampton for this damn inverting rap song to guitar garbage. Adam and Gwen turn for him due to his "unique" take on a rap song. NEW RULE: No more inverted rap songs to guitar covers. Rap songs must now be rapped. He eventually picks Gwen as his coach. At least he's a half decent singer.

Ninth, Elyjuh René. He auditions with "XO" by Beyoncé. He could've picked a better song by Beyoncé but that's just me. Adam Pharrell end up turning around for him. He has a lot of potential given his rather clean but emotive tones. He ends up picking Pharrell as his coach.

Tenth, Bianca Espinal. She auditions with "Foolish Games" by Jewel. She was decent but even Twitter wasn't convinced before she became a S7 reject. I thought she was better than a lot of people on Twitter, but whatever. Better luck next time.

Finally, James David Carter. Once his story was being told I sensed this was Blake territory. He auditions with a song "Nobody Knows". All of the coaches turn for him...-_- Why? This one is a bit too Southern fried for any Non-Blake coach. He ends up picking Blake as his coach. Wow, how shocking -_-

Overall, I'm hoping the contestants chosen don't let me down (even though there's a good chance I'll be 0 for 7 in winners I can put up with.)

Up next for scrutiny, Part II of the Blind Auditions.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

This List is RANK: 5 Songs That Should've Fared Better in The U.S.

(Bigger is better here as I'm increasing font size from now on and I have a new name for the blog; chances are you're looking at it now.)

The U.S. Market is a tough thing to break into. More oft then not, songs and artists who don't deserve success (Iggy Azalea, Nicki Minaj, Sam Smith and anyone else I've hated over the past 10 years) prosper. The following songs were screwed out of proper U.S. success...(by which I mean Hot 100 success; niche charts be damned.)

5. "Fuck U Betta" by Neon Hitch
Fun Fact: she's the chick who sang "Get Your Ass Back Home" for Gym Class Heroes. Even MORE Fun Fact: she's trying her hand at a solo career whose album is yet to be determined of corporeal status.
Point is, this non-album single should have been a starting point for her career; just as doofy as other songs lyrically and more importantly just as catchy as any other song that has found success.

Chart peaks: #1 on the Dance chart and #29 on the Mainstream Top 40

Could've been: A Top 10 on the Hot 100.

4. "4th of July (Fireworks)" by Kelis
Any of Kelis' songs from her 5th effort Flesh Tone could've had her attain U.S. success with EDM or EDM adjacent like genres coming into mainstream acceptance. Personally, "4th of July (Fireworks)" is one of the best singles in recorded history. Sadly, Will.i.am Music Group [boutique label under Interscope Records who answers to Universal Records] couldn't promote this song properly and attained minimal success in the U.S.

Chart peak: #4 on the Dance Chart

Could've been: A Top 5 on the Hot 100

3. "Pretty Hurts" by Beyoncé
Let's clarify something now; Beyoncé is a fantastic singer, live performer and one of the few acts in recorded music that deserves success. That being said, whoever determined the singles released and the order in which they should be released should be bitchslapped from here to kingdom come.
"XO" is further proof Ryan Tedder's songwriting is generally poor; "Drunk in Love" is popular due to people trying to piece together what the hell "surfboardt" means; "Partition" while decent could've been released on radio without the "Yoncé" interlude.
Enter "Pretty Hurts"; a song considered to be her most personal effort with help from Sia [the one who wrote "Diamonds" for Rihanna (And is also the blonde who can't bear to look at an audience whilst performing a song.)] Sadly, this song never caught on in the U.S. Hot 100 & that hurts like hell.

Chart peaks: #1 on the Dance chart, #33 on the Rhythmic chart and #36 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop chart

Could've been: A Top 5 or Top 10 on the Hot 100

2. "Q.U.E.E.N." by Janelle Monaé ft. Erykah Badu
This served as the lead single of of Monaé's latest effort The Electric Lady. It also served as the most wonderful and kickass Charlie's Angels theme sampling song ever. Eccentric, electric and percussive beats lay over some of the most gorgeously histrionic and theatrical singing in music. Sadly, this may have been too "weird" for mass consumption as it failed to make the Hot 100.

Chart peak: #47 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop chart

Could've been: A Top 3 single (if stations had the balls to play this song)

1. "1991", "Liquorice", "Van Vogue", "Jumanji", "Fantasea", "Count Contessa", "Atlantis", "Luxury", "Yung Rapunxel", "Heavy Metal and Reflective"...really any damn song by Azealia Banks
Interscope Records was lucky enough to have Azealia on their label. Yet for reasons outside of social media beefs, they never serviced her singles in the U.S. I can't figure it out either.