Tuesday, July 8, 2014

The Voice U.S. S7 Thoughts

Since S4, I've been recapping and criticizing episodes of The NBC Show with Ratings. I've been watching since S1. With a new season and two new coaches, it's time to relay some thoughts (In the form of criticizing potential pitfalls of the new season) as to how S7 will end up...

1. It will be better than the last 2 seasons combined: Not exactly the highest bar to jump over, but S7 should be a completely revitalized season in all the right ways. S5 was a lackluster reboot of S1 that gave Adam Levine his first female winner and the show's third female winner in a row. S6 was a terrible season compared to seasons prior and seemed really rigged when the "Twitter Save" was used in the Top 5 to ensure The Grimmie Reaper stayed regardless of weak for her iTunes sales.

S7 is introducing producer/singer Pharrell Williams as a proper coach [he was the Battle Rounds adviser in S4 for Usher's team] and No Doubt lead singer, Gwen Stefani. At least how Gwen will be is sort of up in the air as this is most likely her first foray into TV Competition Shows *FUN Fact: she turned down ABC's Rising Star for this. Wise move, Gwen.* I'm looking forward to that much even if...

2. No weirdo friendly coach looks to be est.: Jesus knows The Voice needs a weirdo/"personality" since S6 diminished hope altogether for them; S5 screwed them all for HRFH -2.0 (and a bust coronation song) and S4 was too country-laden for Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel to win. Apart from Chamuel, the last true "personality" came in the form of Cody Belew from S3 (And to think Nicholas David's awful singing beat him...T_T). The problem is, Cee-Lo Green was really the bastion for the freak flag to fly [Usher and Chamuel was a bit of a fluke.]

S7 does have Pharrell and Gwen, but they might not infer that weirdos are welcome. The best chance for a weirdo/"personality" friendly coach is Pharrell. He's a diehard "Trekkie", worked with Kelis pre-"Milkshake" and is pretty much from Neptune [when you get it...] Gwen is a bit of a weirdo herself but even with her solo efforts and that contracted posse "Love. Angel. Music. Baby.", she's probably going to push for [hopefully] pop/rock vocalists like Adam; or sadly end up enabling the most likely fact...

3. Female "hard rocker" types are going to make a resurgence: ...and that is going to suck. Ever since S2 and Juliet Simms losing to Jermaine Paul, some critics and some viewers have been praying for a hard "rawk" chick to win. While there's nothing utterly terrible about "rawk", the "rawker" types that make it to The Voice are revealed to be complete and utter try-hard wannabes [At least from Simms onward, most notably, Kat "CopyKat" Robichaud who swagger jacked Chamuel and every rawker chick in existence.]

S7 might have Gwen being pigeonholed into finding "the next Stevie Nicks/Joan Jett/Pat Benetar" and that is a complete disservice to the other weirdo Gwen is supposed to be.

4. Some wacky format change is going to occur: Oy gevalt; The Voice is about gaining sentience away from being like a Pop Diva: changing what they're about every other right now. First, every coach had a guaranteed artist in the finale where the top finalists could write their own songs. Then, that stopped in S3 where "No Man's Land" was introduced. At that time, the Knockout Rounds were introduced. Then, some idiot in S6 said "Hey, what if we extended the Battle Rounds?" You suck...whoever you are. S5 introduced Twitter users on the East Coast having a say as to whose ass gets saved from being in the bottom 3.

S7 will most likely introduce a new wacky element in the game. Who knows what, but maybe they'll pull from a tradition known as the "Fishbowl" and have contestants pull songs from a fishbowl [or container of sorts] and have to perform it then and there. OR...*this is where the game of Speculate Random Bullshit begins* perhaps this season, the contestants can only perform songs by anybody who has been a coach on the U.S., U.K. or Australian versions of The Voice.

5. Song selection is going to suck...again: Songs performed in past seasons are going to find their way back to being performed in public because SHEEZUS forbid anybody perform songs by Lady Gaga, Lana Del Rey, Janelle Monae, Azealia Banks, Chrisette Michele, Steve Grand, Cody Belew or anybody interesting in the music industry. Instead, expect "Free Fallin'", some "indie" labeled/"rawker" horseshit like Imagine Dragons, OneRepublic garbage and country songs...in general...

It's perfectly fine for the usual Blake Shelton advised contestant because country is all they know. Any NON-country Team Blake person or any Team Adam, Cee-Lo, Christina, Shakira or Usher [add in Pharrell and Gwen] that does a country song and they inferred no allegiance of any kind to country music..."God help you; you know how the children are." Thanks end credit voice from Paris is Burning! The point is, I wish song selection was a lot more interesting than the crap most of the contestants end up doing.

6. I will hate the winner: It's a sad tradition, but anybody I like doesn't win the show. And at least since S3, I have positively loathed the winners. I'm already calling it 0 for 7.

That's my thoughts on S7 and I will be an absolute bitch about defending all of them XD

No comments:

Post a Comment