Sunday, August 11, 2013

The Sword of Coke 'N Whores Act I Part II

The Legion had arrived in the very village which served as the resting place of Catya and Christie. Despite the lineage, the village of Kahlo hadn’t been fully reduced to nothingness. As they were surveying the landscape, an individual surprised the Legion, namely Mark. A woman appeared before them and said, “Take this with you on your journey. It is from your late mother.” “She’s dead?” Mark began. “How long ago did she die?” The woman replied, “Right when the city of O’Hara was destroyed. She’s buried in the village cemetery not further than that row of houses near the harbor.”
            Mark had Steven, Ananda and Violetta accompany him to his mother’s grave. While they were traveling, Ganymede pressed the woman about her connections to Mark and his mother. “What is your name and how did you know of Jane Doe?” She replied, “Well, my name is Elle and Jane was a dear friend of mine.” Elle later explained that she had seen Jane suffer emotionally as she could not find a suitor to help raise Mark. Eventually, she had convinced her to place Mark up for adoption due to her finances being insufficient to raise Mark alone.
            Wilhelmina queried, “As depressing as that story is, one bigger question is who sent the note to him in Cabo Soleil?” Elle replied, “I did on behalf of his mother as she instructed before her passing.” Marchanda added, “Well what the hell did you give him in the satchel?” Elle replied, “He’ll find out as he, his lover, the little redheaded girl and that sandy blonde bitch are done paying their condolences to his mother.” A Legion member asked, “You see the bitchiness in her as well?” She replied, “Are you fucking kidding me? She’s so cold, she defecates hail.”
            Meanwhile in the cemetery, Mark was paying a moment of silence for his mother. Steven was worried that the experience would throw his lover in another mood swing. “How much can a person take in terms of emotional abuse?” he thought. Violetta sensed his anguish over Mark. “Look...” she began. “You still like fucking him right? After this you can bang it out of him.”
“I suppose, but I can’t bang anybody when they’re not in their proper emotional state.” Steven began. “I’m not a straight guy.” “Touché, good sir.” she replied. Ananda sauntered to Mark trying to offer solace. Mark thought she was rushing him to move on and figuring out what was in the satchel. “Listen, I’m getting to the satchel. Just wait with the others.” he said. “I’m not rushing you.” she began. “I’m trying to comfort you.” He skeptically took her at her word.
            Shortly after their exchange, Mark and the others reunited with the Legion and Elle. He thanked Elle for the gift, but wondered what its use was in his journey. “Before I open this, what purpose does this have?” he queried. Elle replied, “I assure you, it is an aiding force for you and your allies. I must see you open the satchel and bask in its glory.” He opened the satchel and found himself in awe of the gift. “What has you this enamored?” Wilhelmina asked. “Is it a weapon?” Violetta wondered. “Is it some sentimental trinket with secret powers?” Steven asked. Marchanda could sense it was much more than the potential answers said aloud. “It’s a mix of everything mentioned so far.” Ananda chimed, “Mark, breathe in; breathe out and just tell us what the fuck you’re holding right now.”
            Mark pulled out a pair of custom ninja swords. On each one of the hilts, there was the image of a snake demon being defeated using smoke laced weaponry. “These swords meant the world to my mother. She claimed these were mere decorations.” Elle eventually told him about his mother’s secret past. “Mark, this has been a long time coming. Your mother was part of the quad’s army. Only in Cape Elysees but still active with said army. She retired soon after and advised Lorenzo to donate his sperm...hoping to give birth to a child.” “How did her finances go south?” Marchanda asked. Elle replied, “She simply chose ineffective and wasteful investments and lost everything she had ever accrued.” She looked Mark in the eyes and said, “Above all else, your mother chose to keep these swords for their protective nature.”
            Mark said to her, “Say nothing else but you’re welcome because I thank you dearly.” “You’re welcome.” she muttered. Sadly, those would be the last words of Elle. Only seconds after saying them, she collapsed to the ground and was declared dead by one of Ganymede’s colleagues. “What the fuck just happened?” Ananda rightfully queried. “Check for any foul play immediately!” Marchanda demanded.
            The legion surveyed the entire village and found no secret assassin. However, Violetta spotted a jar full of a purple, fuchsia and yellow mixture in Elle’s home. She held the jar to Ganymede and asked, “What does this thing do?” He had the Titans help examine the mixture and had been blown away that their suspicions confirmed. “I can’t believe the bitch knew how to make this properly.” Marchanda said. “She must’ve been a chemist of sorts in a past life.” Wilhelmina added. Ganymede only muttered, “Hope the ‘Sunset’ was worth looking at you desperate bitch.” Violetta pressed him, “Sunset? What the hell is that?” Wilhelmina explained that “Sunset” was the result of mixing the petals of violets, oleander and sunflowers with rattlesnake venom and GHB into an ingestible liquid. “It’s one of the only nature based super-weapons left in this century.” Marchanda finished.
            Ganymede, Violetta and the Titans explained to Mark everything they discovered about Elle’s death. While distraught, he decided to take the “Sunset” as a belated gift from her. “My mother couldn’t have been the only one who allowed me to live to fight like this.” he said. Ananda was bewildered at his honoring of Elle. “She committed suicide instead of waiting to die and you dare honor her?” The Titans drew their weapons and demanded a fight to the death. “A woman of your ‘principle’ should’ve seen this one coming.” Wilhelmina said. Marchanda added, “Out of all the stupid shit you’ve done, you’ve reached an unwanted zenith and a well deserved nadir.” Steven tried to intervene but was told to step aside by the Titans.
            Ananda was unfazed at their challenge. “Fight for what you believe in and try not to make much noise as you two die.” Violetta was conflicted by the matchup. “Ananda is blood.” she began to think. “However, she has been insufferable the entire journey. Plus, the Titans are sympathetic whilst stern.” Ganymede sensed her confliction and reminded her, “Even if she is insufferable, she is your sister.” However, Ananda’s next words would seal her fate. “I have nothing to lose, so whenever you whores are ready...bring it on.”
            Violetta grabbed an Uzi from the dune buggy and proceeded to gun down her own sister. “Hey bitch!” she shouted. The Titans watched in horror despite Ananda’s death being their main objective. The bullets that had passed through her had become hollow-point catharsis for Violetta. When the clip emptied she said, “Nothing to lose? Not even your sister? You died a self-centered piece of shit.” The Legion was floored at her outburst. Wilhelmina asked, “Dear God, have you lost your mind kid?” She replied, “Someone who was supposed to fight for me didn’t and I wouldn’t have allowed her to live if she emerged in victory.” As she was trying to grab Ananda’s body to dump in the harbor, Ganymede lunged at her. “Don’t do anything else, I beg of you!” he exclaimed. “The bitch must get a shitty burial for this!” she barked. Marchanda typed a command in her laptop and had stunned her with a high grade taser.
            Violetta was carried off by one of Ganymede’s colleagues to the dune buggy. The Titans were still floored by her action. Mark looked at Ananda’s body and said, “She doesn’t deserve a harbor. Even she deserves a proper burial despite her death being improper.” He had the colleagues and Ganymede create a funeral for Ananda. One at a time, each Legion member bowed their head in a show of respect for the fallen. When the final Legion member had fulfilled their duty of lighting peppermint incense, the scent awoke and enraged Violetta. As she was stepping out of the dune buggy, Mark reassured her this was with purpose. “Look at me.”
he began. “The bitch was supposed to be thrown at sea.” she replied. “I hate you for having killed your own sister, but I hate her for not fighting with you in mind.” Violetta knew she had nothing to retort with after he had said that. “You’re right, but fuck you up and down and on your face for that.” Before they could leave Ananda in her final resting place, Ganymede rushed to Mark and Violetta. He had the legion assemble in ready position after sensing a presence in the harbor. “You two to the harbor and in ready position immediately.” he ordered.
            After arriving at the harbor, Mark and Violetta were wondering who this potential enemy was along with everyone else. Marchanda on the other hand, already knew the enemy and their abilities. “We’re dealing with a shitty troupe of thieves.” she said. The leader of the troupe would go on a meaningless tirade over why he and his men were the best. Whilst blathering, Violetta sought out a way to rid of the troupe without damaging the ship. Wilhelmina decided to aide her and had Mark, Steven and some legion members assist as well. Wilhelmina typed a code into her laptop and she and the others with her became invisible long enough to venture on to the ship.
            The code wore off near the first set of the ship’s crew members. Before Steven could strike, a woman pulled the team aside. “Let go goddamn you!” Steven exclaimed. The woman replied, “Not everyone on this ship is a member of this band of morons.” Mark asked, “Why should we believe you’re not lying to protect your own life?” She replied, “If I truly wanted to protect my own life, you’d all be dead and not even know that all but 40 of the people on this ship are captives held by this idiot ensemble.” She then apologized for not giving a proper introduction. “My name is Melina. I’m the only one who can help you free the captives and kill the crew members whilst that idiot captain is blathering on about nothing.”
            Violetta allowed Melina to help on the condition that she allowed her to point a gun to her head. Melina complied, “As long as you don’t squeeze the trigger, I’m in.”
            Melina proved herself useful by relaying her photographic memory of the ship’s layout. With her memory as a compass, Steven and the others were able to engage and emerge victorious over the guards. However, she did point out that freeing the captives would be difficult. The blathering captain was the only one with the master key that could open the prison doors. Mark asked, “Weren’t there certain keys throughout the ship?” Melina replied, “Those are decoys and are about as useful as the captain is.” Violetta confirmed any further suspicions saying, “I robbed from every guard and all I could find was money and their weapons.” One of the Legion members was bold enough to add, “Melina isn’t holding the key anywhere. Not in her bra or her lace panties with the hole in the left cheek.” She proceeded to crack his neck, killing him on impact. “I hate scumbags with a passion.” she said.
            Meanwhile, the rest of the Legion were busy chucking rocks at the blathering captain. No one had wanted to kill him since they felt it was too much effort for such an inferior man. “Keep chucking rocks!” Marchanda commanded. “This bastard will collapse soon enough.” Melina then took an initiative the others found to border on the kamikaze. “You wouldn’t dare...” Violetta pleaded. Mark simply told her, “Don’t do anything that requires degrading yourself,” Melina replied, “I’m not going to let him fuck me to get the key.” Steven chimed in, “At least you’re going into this plan rationally.”
            She eyed Marchanda on the ground and signaled her to shush. Then, she leapt from the ship with a knife she lifted from a dead guard. The blathering captain would only feel the knife pierce through his body and the key taken from his back pocket. Just for show, she kicked his body into the harbor. “Hi there; my name is Melina and I’m helping you guys out. Get everything onto the ship and let’s head wherever you need to go.” Once Mark and Violetta helped the Legion get everything on board, Melina freed the captives. Marchanda pressed her for
her intentions with the Legion. “Thanks for preventing that jackass from speaking more, but what are you up to outside of this Samaritan type of deed?” she asked. Melina reassured her that the intentions she had are only beneficial. “Whatever you all are looking for, I want in on this too.” Despite the skepticism she had over Melina, Marchanda’s fears were eased when Wilhelmina revealed personal information over their new ally. “Rest easy, everyone.” she began. “After researching this bitch up and down and round and round, she is an ally. She’s 22, B- blood type, a Libra and is from our intended destination of Forca.”
            The Legion was elated that their latest ally was from Forca, but questioned how she ended up on the ship as a captive. She relayed that this vessel, despite its desolate aesthetic, was a well equipped ship that had been used as a mere ferry for travel. Mark was coming to a sobering realization. “Melina...” he began. “Does this ferry have a history of being used as a machine of conquest?” She replied, “Possibly. Before I was held captive by that blathering idiot, I noticed two sealed off areas. The one I got to contained this log.” She handed it to Mark and when he opened it, he was conflicted. “This ferry was the one the quad used.” he said. “The quad?” Melina asked. “The ones that took out the great evil of Sao Bangkok?” “It turns out Lorenzo was my father.” Mark replied.
            Melina then gazed at Steven and Violetta. “I’m the new 4th member, aren’t I?” Violetta confirmed that indeed, she was the new 4th figurehead of the Legion. “The other female was my sister, Ananda. She died by my hands when she was set to fight the two women with laptops and subtle bloodlust over to your right, known as the Seoulskatchewan Titans, claiming she had ‘nothing to lose’. Except her life, which admittedly she kind of had coming.” “So I’m now working with the son of the quad, the most feared women in the business world, a newly formed Legion and the cutest gay couple ever?” Melina began. “I’m so happy right now.”  “Now I see
how you fit in amongst us.” Wilhelmina said. “You’re a nutcase.” Marchanda concurred, “Expressing elation, jubilation or anything related to cheeriness this early into meeting people is a red flag of being a nutcase.” “According to what legitimate firm of mental health?” Melina asked. “The W.R.A.Y.A.S. Foundation...” Marchanda began. “We’re right and you ain’t shit; W.R.A.Y.A.S.” “ just got told!” a Legion member said. Violetta chucked a knife into his heart. “And you just became a new corpse!” she taunted.
            Once those issues were resolved, the ferry set course for Forca. The journey would be rather time consuming as it was discovered the only route from Kahlo to Forca would have to involve diversion in the city of St. Arnault. Despite the constant fears of nuisances at sea, the journey to St. Arnault would be seamless. When they reached the harbor, Wilhelmina was tasked of scanning the area for any potential nuisances. Marchanda did a backup scan to aide Wilhelmina just in case a nuisance was trying to blend in. “Looks safe to pursue.” they said.
            However, once they had begun traveling through the city they found the locals to be resistant in their presence. Not ten minutes in, Mark pulled a passerby to the side and asked what was going on. The passerby replied, “A woman in black claimed you have done harm to her two sisters.” Mark pressed, “Were the names of this woman’s sisters Valentina and Adelaide by chance?” The passerby answered, “Yes. Those were the names spoken by the woman.” Violetta added, “Tell us where this woman in black went and we won’t kill you.” The passerby wouldn’t comply, but Melina made sure he did. She grabbed his collar and threw him at a produce cart. “Unless you want to become a vegetable yourself, tell us now you motherfucker!” she exclaimed. The passerby slowly got up and only said, “The one you seek is named Dionysia. She’s holding herself in the Four Seasons St. Arnault.” The Legion allowed him to live on the condition the town no longer suspected them of wrongdoings.
            After locating the Four Seasons St. Arnault, the Legion knew the man they spared was telling the truth. They locked eyes with the guards, but the Titans advised against moving in. “They’re a bit too trigger happy to try an advance.” Marchanda said. Ganymede recited an incantation and the guards were rendered unconscious. “Kill and loot those pricks.” he said. Wilhelmina wasn’t quick to mesh with the idea. “I’m running a quick scan just in case those bastards put landmines or some shit like that.” A scan revealed a code proof landmine placed mere feet from where they were.
            Violetta looked at the Legion and singled out a member named Weston and said, “Thanks for your help, but go step on the landmine so we can move on.” Weston pleaded for his life, “Don’t kill me here. Maybe there’s a way I can deactivate the landmine.” She retorted with one of the more evil responses of the Legion to date. “I think there is a way to deactivate the mine. Here; take this shovel and dig it up.” When he accepted, everyone knew his fate was sealed. He stepped on the blade of the shovel only three times before it was activated, thus ending his life. “Don’t be upset...” Violetta began. “He proved to be useless.”
            Storming the Four Seasons St. Arnault would prove to be rather easy. The guards Dionysia Perot hired while loyal were more useless than a one-legged man in a kickboxing match. Mark and Violetta racked up kills by a string of gunshots and simply beating their opponents to a lifeless, sanguine state. “Look; a bullet!” Mark shouted to a guard. When the guard collapsed to the ground dead, Mark chimed, “They still don’t think to duck.” “What’s that?” Violetta began. “I’m too busy listening to my ‘beats’ by Dr. Dre.” “That pun was terrible Violetta.” a Legion member retorted. She chucked a knife and hit his heart. “Did I do that?” she rhetorically asked in a mockingly nasal tone. “Let’s go find and kill Dionysia before she does her Katy Perry impersonation.” Steven suggested.
            After Steven and Melina helped the Titans clear out the remaining guards, the Legion had found Dionysia in the highest penthouse suite. She turned to face the Legion and said only, “All right...let’s get this fight started.” She lunged towards Melina, but was stopped by Marchanda’s laptop induced barricade. “You look cute face down. Maybe if you were surrounded by a pool of your own blood, you’d be so pleasing.” Marchanda taunted. Dionysia arose and challenged the Titans to a fight to the death. “What a mistake to commit as your last act on Earth. Let’s hope your blood doesn’t stain our clothes.” Wilhelmina said.
            Dionysia drew a sword that despite its potential was in inferior hands. “Is that the Blade of Cartagena in your hands?” Marchanda asked. As Dionysia was about to say yes, Wilhelmina lunged at her at beat the sword from her hands. “Hmm...since it’s out of your hands, I think it’s safe for me to call you a liar.” Marchanda taunted. Dionysia was infuriated. “You whores think it’ll be this easy?! I’m fighting with honor in mind.” “Actually, you’re fighting based on revenge because your goddamn sisters tried to get in our way.” Violetta chimed.
            “You call what you all did to my sisters justified?!” Dionysia asked.
            “It isn’t like either of them were woven from a cloth of morality.” Violetta replied.
            “Call it ‘revenge’ all you want, but what you did to them is simply irredeemable.”
            “You may want to face your actual opponents before this encounter becomes the dumbest shit you ever pulled in your sad life.” However, Dionysia was already too late. By the time she turned around, the Titans unleashed a digital fury and flurry of dark energy. Hate speech too foul for even the Legion to hear was uttered by the dark cretins who were slowly causing the third and presumably final Perot sister to deteriorate.
            “What the hell type of move are they performing?” Steven asked.
            “I think that move is called the ‘YouTube Comment Section’.” Mark replied.
When Dionysia fell to knees, Wilhelmina explained the move. “It isn’t the YouTube Comment Section. It is far worse than that. The inspiration for this move comes from essentially, the darkest place known to people that frequent the internet.” When Dionysia collapsed from succumbing to death, the Tri-force known from The Legend of Zelda series let them know of how dark the Titans can attack. “Noobs can’t Tri-force.” Marchanda said. “You sick whores gave this bitch the ‘4-Chan’?!” Mark asked. “It gets the job done at the most severe level.” Wilhelmina retorted. “Now rob her ass so we can leave this place.”
            Dionysia didn’t possess much on her person, except for what would become a crucial asset to their journey. It was a note that had a set of numbers and Mark was puzzled by the very sight of it. He had the Titans decode the message, but they were unable to pinpoint an exact match. “This seems to correspond with something exclusively in Forca.” Marchanda began. “Melina...we need you to decode this with us.” She only looked at the note for three seconds and replied, “These are the coordinates to where The Sword of Coke ‘N Whores is located. In the center of the Malagasy Impala Bar and Grille no less.”
            The Legion was elated at knowing their exact destination, but as they were leaving the Four Seasons St. Arnault they discovered the town was still against them. The passerby stepped forward and was revealed to have been Dionysia’s husband, Alexy. “My wife never deserved death from you all.” he started. Violetta bluntly reminded him, “You told us where she was so your wretched life could be saved, you goddamn jackass.” Alexy replied, “That still gave you no right to murder my wife.” Melina grabbed a naginata and thrust the blade into his chest, striking his heart. Alexy only had, “You proved my point.” as his final words. “Go be with your damn wife, shut the fuck up and die!” she barked. “So now we’re up against all of you sons of bitches?” she continued. “Great; I’d love to wipe you out unlike your parents.”
            The Legion would fight the entire city of St. Arnault in a type of war not previously fathomable. Citizens of St. Arnault were surprisingly skilled in combat for a town defending themselves, but Mark’s genetics and the Legion’s bloodlust made this a one-sided battle. The five hour ordeal would commence by the citizens trying to land fatal blows on weaker members of the Legion. “You shall die for your sins!” they shouted. The Titans although brutal attacked with subtlety. “This could be a prelude to a really cheap set up.” Marchanda thought. Sensing her sister could be right, Wilhelmina instructed Violetta and certain low rank Legion members to survey the landscape from whence the citizens came. “Kill if need be, but make sure there’s no ambush or diversion.” she commanded.
            Violetta and the others complied and scurried to where the citizens were most likely to have originated. Searching every home and business, things seemed to point to no ambush or diversion set up. “Nothing...” Violetta muttered. A Legion member then pointed to a set of twins that were approaching. She had them draw their weapons and ask, “What are your names and do you intend to do against us?” They replied, “We’re Sofia and Yukio and we don’t intend to harm you.” “Which is which?” Violetta asked. “Yukio is the quiet one and the one to your right.” Sofia began. “Yukio’s quiet because she has some psychic abilities.” “Something tells me ‘The Wolverine’ must’ve been a big deal in these parts.” Violetta replied. “We celebrate its movie premiere as a bank holiday.” Sofia chimed.
            A Legion member spotted an abandoned tea house with meager guards near crates. “That tea house is probably housing a diversion or ambush.” the member said. “You know the rules.” Violetta began. “Kill on sight. Say, you and your sister know how to wield weapons in combat?” Sofia and Yukio revealed their weapons; a katana with each of their first kill dates inscribed in Japanese. “What a way to answer a question without a smartass reply.” she said.
They stormed the tea house and spared no one inside. Sofia and Yukio sliced heads of the guards dumb enough to attack them. “If I didn’t cut your head off, I’d be shouting ‘eat my blade’ or some ridiculous shit like that.” Sofia taunted. Violetta tracked down the head guard and demanded he tell him why this ensemble was here. “Start explaining yourself, you fucking jackoff.” “St. Arnault must not become Roanoke because of you all.” he began. “This city will beat this Tamerlane style hex placed on us.” Violetta simply pumped him full of an Uzi. “Fucking idiot...all you had to do was tell us what your intentions were.” she muttered. Yukio then said her first words in meeting the Legion. “The other guards have fled. They will jump off a bridge to their deaths. Also, the Legion has just finished the war against St. Arnault.” Sofia confirmed that when her watch read five hours later from when the conflict began.
            “That was weird. How did five hours elapse in one plot development?” Violetta queried.
            “Magic...don’t ask questions.” Yukio replied.
            When they reunited with the others, Violetta explained the presence of Sofia and Yukio. “They simply approached us and lead us to Lyudmila’s Tea House where some poorly planned bastion of hope was est. for the now dead citizens of this town.” Melina did note, “That seems to add up perfectly. We sensed they were going berserk right when their last bit of ammunition and weaponry gave out.” Mark was welcoming, but still skeptical as to their intentions with aligning with the Legion. “How can I be certain you two are indeed an asset?” he asked. “ESP over here is psychic and knows what you’re after in Forca.” Sofia replied. Steven added, “Are you two positively sure that you two aren’t involved with a secret syndicate or some bullshit like that?” Yukio responded, “Just like the head official of Forca’s daughter, we’re not here to harm you.” “Head official’s daughter?” Mark queried. By the time he turned to face Melina, she retreated to the dune buggy. “Goddamnit Melina!” he exclaimed.
            “I’ll deal with her.” Marchanda said. She used a code on her laptop to transport herself to the dune buggy. She was forceful with Melina the millisecond she started to talk to her. “Bitch, you know goddamn well I can easily transport my sister to bitchslap you to kingdom come.” she said. “I just didn’t want anyone to know about my father.” Melina replied.
            “You do realize Wilhelmina and I have had the ability to look this up, right?”
            “Then why did it take Yukio to do both of your jobs?”
            “What exactly are you hiding by not revealing your father is the head official of Forca?”
            “I’m not hiding anything!”
            “Obviously, not well and not anymore.”
Wilhelmina appeared before them wondering what was taking so long. “What the hell is going on for this long, if you’re not trying to kill each other?” she asked. “Little Miss tight lips isn’t saying anything about her father.” Marchanda replied. Wilhelmina locked eyes with Melina and said, “Get to telling us what has you preventing us from knowing the truth about your father.” She sobbed uncontrollably before saying, “That sword you’re looking for has driven him insane!” The exclamation had the Legion run over to the dune buggy.
            Once the Titans explained why Melina was resistant to relay info on her father, Mark was defeated and ridden with anguish. “No! You mean to tell me this is like a story mode for ‘Soul Calibur’? I now have to destroy the sword I seek?” he exclaimed. Mark then directed Steven to hand him the Blade of Cartagena. “What is this for?” Steven asked. Mark had asked the Titans to explain how this sword was able to mystify them. “Back when we killed Dionysia Perot, you two looked at that blade and wondered how it fell into her hands. Explain yourselves now.” Wilhelmina replied, “This actually relates to a proverb back home in Seoulskatchewan. The fire of the red blade warms no one, but the ice of the blue blade cools the one whose heart had been
burned by their past transgressions.” Mark was not pleased with the explanation. “Need I remind you that we’ve killed people on the journey for this sword? Come up with something better.” Marchanda told him, “What Wilhelmina was trying to relay was the Blade of Cartagena was crafted at the same time for the same purpose; San Diego Comic-Con. The Blade of Cartagena did get acclaim from those who beckoned at its beauty. However, when the Sword of Coke ‘N Whores came into the arena, the sheer beauty enraged the crafter of the Blade of Cartagena. Despite his rage, he kept himself composed and simply walked away from what would become the nefarious SDCC Bedlam.” Mark was at last satisfied with the new motive at hand. “That totally makes up for the proverb.” he said. “Well, fuck you too.” Wilhelmina retorted.
            The Legion resumed their traveling positions and discovered an aquatic route to Forca. A river near Lyudmila’s Tea House flowed right into the Forca countryside. The Titans entered a code that had their ferry on the river as they set off to their final destination. “I got away from this place.” Melina began to think. “Serves me right for wanting a relatively low profile for even a little while.” Violetta sensed her frustration and asked, “You didn’t think you could run away from whatever problems you had back home, right?” Melina said nothing and Violetta clued in. “Well, no matter what we get to face them with you and kill stupid people on the way!”
            Three hours later, the Legion gazed upon the city of Forca. Melina’s homeland from the countryside, presented a Southern beauty filled with lush topography. “Wow.” Marchanda noted. “The trees look saturated as fuck in these parts.” Steven looked to Mark and said, “Doesn’t this place make you want to fuck on the patio?” Violetta chimed, “This countryside is divine if it didn’t remind me of the Confederacy.” A Legion member whispered to another, “Do you think Indians were scammed out of this type of luscious scenery?” “Oh all of you shut the fuck up.” Melina said. “Besides, where we need to go is still a long ways off from here.”
            Another hour of travel and they arrived at a docking bay near downtown Forca. As they left the ferry and the last Legion member resumed his position, they were accosted by a troop of former Forca military personnel and a woman they feared came from the same nuisance woven cloth. “Oh shit.” Mark muttered. As Violetta was ready to verbally pounce on their new opponent, Yukio told her what she needed to know. “Aim for her left shoulder; it will immobilize her long enough for your victory.”
            Their opponent confirmed that she was of the familiar family they had dealt with. “That is far enough, for the likes of you. I’m Alyssum Perot and you shall all die by the hands of my troop and me.” Violetta acted on Yukio’s word and shot Alyssum in her left shoulder. The screaming indicated she was right. “Ow; you bitch!” she began. “I deserve a chance to explain my purpose here!” “Marchanda replied, “Something tells me it has to do with either your fucking sisters biting the dust, or protecting the Sword of Coke ‘N Whores. Really shocking if it were either or both; moron.” Alyssum tried to retaliate, but as Yukio foretold she had been rendered immobile. Mark then shot her in the head to finish her off.
            Her troops resorted to combating the Legion without her command. The Battle of Forca Docks was a fight neither expected to be lengthy. Three hours and forty-four minutes against former military personnel proved to be fierce. Mark and Violetta perfected their kills by performing the “Seattle Laundromat”. Whenever an opponent tried a melee attack, Violetta would deflect and bash their heads against the ferry. Their blood would be “cleaned off” by the next person that would have their heads bashed in against the ferry by Mark. “Consider that ‘heavy starch’ motherfucker.” Violetta taunted. “Did we need to rob them as they were dying?” Mark asked. “No.” Violetta began. “Former military personnel barely have enough money for fast food.”
            Steven and Melina would trade off the naginata and a kanabo for their kills. The kanabo would unhinge jaws and crack skulls while the naginata would lacerate and pierce through the opponents. “You’d think military personnel would learn to take more than one fatal blow to their heads.” Steven noted. “Well at least you can beat them and avoid some accidental splattering.” Melina began. “I’ll have to wait until the Titans are done to have the blood removed from my shoes.” “Those shoes are actually cuter with a little blood on them. It reads as ‘edgy’ and all hardcore.” Steven replied. “Or fucking depraved; you pick!”
            The Titans were focused on a fusion of humiliation and bloodshed. Wilhelmina entered a code that removed the opponent’s clothing and replacing it with a mohair thong. Their screams reverberated all around the docks and even in the center of Forca. “What the hell was that?” a commoner wondered. “Sounds like someone’s getting tortured by having to wear a really ugly piece of clothing.” another commoner said. “Oh God, why?! I’d rather wear a pair of naugahyde short shorts than this!” an opponent exclaimed. Just as they thought a bullet to the head would relieve them of their anguish, Marchanda entered a code that had the personnel they faced excrete sanguine urine. “Isn’t that excessive?” a Legion member queried. “Excessive for the Legion would be putting in more effort to kill the stupid and the useless.” another Legion member replied. The Titans were surprisingly appalled at the sight of the corpses that they responsible for. “Maybe I should’ve typed in ‘candy thong’ that way they could look pretty in death as opposed to worse than they were alive.” Marchanda said.
            Sofia and Yukio split their two main objectives. Yukio had decided to capture a troop member she knew would cooperate with no complications. Sofia would simply kill the ones dumb enough to fight her. “You’ll only rush to be slaughtered.” she taunted. Unsurprisingly, their ignorance would lead them to be referenced in the past tense. Their bodies would feel
a level of hell only a steel blade could relay. Sofia’s blade would slice, lacerate and pierce her opponents in places they would no longer have. “Eeep; how can anything less than six inches spew so much blood?” she taunted. Yukio on the other hand, had successfully subdued the soldier that she knew would cooperate with the Legion with no complications. “Do the job you have been instructed by fate to do, bitch.” she uttered. When five hours had elapsed, Alyssum Perot’s Troops and their leader had fallen to the Legion. “Well, there lies another reason we could end up in hell.” Melina quipped.
            Eventually, they trekked to the Hilton Forca, a hotel that recognized Melina on sight. “How may we help you, ma’am?” the manager asked. “I’d like to request indefinite residence of this hotel for only me and the Legion with me.” she replied. The manager complied, having the previous guests and entire staff evicted from the hotel. “Enjoy your stay here, ma’am.” the manager said in a defeatist manner.
            After redesigning the Hilton Forca into a permanent homestead, the Legion assessed their next plans of action in their version of the Foyer of Pending Bedlam. Violetta called the meeting into order. “Alright everyone stop making meaningless commotion! We need to collaborate on what to do about our new objective; destroying the Sword of Coke ‘N Whores.” The Legion was simultaneously clamoring and chattering, trying to get too many words in edgewise. “One at a time, dickholes.” Violetta commanded. Mark assumed the podium and explained the slightly troubling details that emerged when both Melina and the Titans revealed the true intent of the sword. “As much as I hate changing the objective of a mission, it turns out that this quest will have to play out like a story mode of Soul Calibur. I have no fucking clue which version, but goddamnit that’s how it has to be done.” The floor shouted in an understandable disgust. “Oh fuck! What an inconvenient plot development!” they shouted.
            Eventually, after the bickering settled they agreed on a set plan. In the morning, Mark, Violetta, Steven, Melina, the Titans, Sofia and Yukio would separate from the Legion. “Yukio...shut the hell up as I make the promise to the Legion.” Mark commanded. “If we don’t make it back, start a new life as your own independent killing ensemble.” A Legion member then suggested, “Can we collaborate and vote on a name for this ensemble just as a safety precaution and/or insurance?” “Nothing stupid or you get a bullet to your head.” Violetta replied. Another Legion member seconded the motion; Melina confirmed the motion and the suggestions poured out of the mouths of some of the lowest intellects of the Legion.
            “Can we call ourselves the Khmer Rouge?” A Legion member suggested.
After pulling the trigger, Violetta rhetorically asked, “What the fuck did I say would happen if something stupid came up?”
            Another Legion member suggested, “Can we call ourselves the Dallas Cowboys? We strike fears into the hearts of millions every time we step on the field for terrible reasons.”
            “I like it; all in favor of naming the killing ensemble the Dallas Cowboys, say ‘aye’!”
            All but one Legion member shouted “Aye!”
            Violetta looked at the one that opposed and said, “You that oppose, try not to cry or look pathetic when you hit the floor in the grip of death; comprende?” before shooting him in the head. “Ok; meeting adjourned and you two, be some peaches and drag the two morons out and toss their bodies in the dumpster.” “Do we have to set them on fire?” they asked. “No silly.” Violetta began. “They just died for being stupid. Just rob them before you dump them. Setting them on fire requires effort and effort is not used for getting rid of stupid people.”
            As the penthouse allegiance of Mark, Violetta, Steven, Melina, the Titans, Sofia and Yukio were riding the elevator up, Steven turned to Mark expressing his fear of mortality.
“Honey, I hope Yukio saw us emerging from this bullshit Soul Calibur type quest in victory. I don’t want to lose you or me in this.” he said. Yukio chimed, “You already know what will happen because you have love in your hearts for one another.” A silence emerged before Sofia nudged the lovers and added, “That’s about as non-spoiler as she gets. Take it like it was a gift from God.” As they entered the suite, Mark and Steven rushed to their bed and ravaged each other. Intense contact of their front teeth, incisors and even molars suggested the coitus was to be passionate and sticky. “Use big words, my fire engine muse!” Steven exclaimed. “Enough of your chatter and let’s orchestrate a vociferous round of sexual congress!” Mark replied.
            “Is this like voyeurism or something?” Melina wondered.
            “Sort of.” Wilhelmina replied.
            “Ooh look! They look like a Cirque du Soleil show without the makeup!” Sofia chimed.
            “One of them sounds like ‘Habanera’ from ‘Carmen’; I’m impressed.” Violetta said.
            “You won’t believe who will finish first.” Yukio foreshadowed.
At that time, Marchanda let out a subtle but audible orgasm. The rest, except for Yukio was shocked. “Oh like I was the only one who was turned on by that!” Marchanda defensively exclaimed. “If you did that more, you’d be more charismatic.” Yukio quipped. Marchanda only glared at her and had everyone go to sleep.
            Ganymede was wrestling with himself as to whether or not he was actually of use to the Legion. “Yukio knows this already but everyone else will know in the morning what I shall do.”

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