Unintentionally RATESist would like to welcome you to Day 2 of the Undiscovered vs. Willa Was Here vs. Paris rate reveal! Previously, Brooke Hogan took a 10 piece combo and got the worst of it on Day 1. Paris Hilton took 5 hits to the chin and Willa Ford pretty much emerged unscathed from the absolute bloodbath on Day 1.
Let's see how the rate reveal unfolds out as #20-11 [the remaining 5s and scores no higher than 7] are chopped leaving only the 10 best to compete for the podium.
The first song to get the ax? 2006 called and it wants its hot social site back.
20. Brooke Hogan - My Space: 5 hit #11 for Undiscovered comes as this middling tripe is shown the door. Nothing says a dated 2006 album like a song title that inadvertently references MySpace [even if the song has not a damn thing to do with the former Facebook of its time]. Her cooing vocals aren't bad but this is essentially a rack of clothes at A'gaci of a song.
Now onto a bit of a cull of the wild as one album takes 3 hits to the chin in one go...
19. Willa Ford - Haunted Heart: 5 after all that slayage on Day 1, it's Willa's turn to feel some consecutive chinchecks. Ugh, the cadence and pacing issues are beyond insufferable. That and the title and song lack any cohesive sense. Nothing about this other half-baked Max Martin wannabe beat mixed with a Mad TV impersonation of Christina Aguilera says "haunted heart".
18. Willa Ford - Somebody Take The Pain Away: 5 If I told you this clocks in at under 3 minutes, will that take some pain away? Well, that would be lying and lying isn't nice...much like suggesting someone should listen to this middling tripe if you like them.
17. Willa Ford - All The Right Moves: 5 and the 3rd blow in a row takes out the Australian bonus track. If you remember the entry for Willa Was Here in The THOT That Counts, Ford has this personal vendetta against being labeled "Britney" and that's coming up again in her album roundup for the rate; but for all that personal umbrage with her...this is like a rough draft of a Britney track from her first album. Down to the production being actually closer to Britney's commercials for Pepsi than even knockoff ...Baby One More Time era Britney.
Now with those out of the way, we can take a *moment* to collect ourselves and proceed to butcher the remaining songs...oh wait...take a *moment*?
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Yup, take a moment to deliver a 12th blow to Undiscovered.
16. Brooke Hogan - For A Moment: 6 If you recall her first entry in The THOT That Counts, I was surprised that Brooke Hogan could actually kind of sing on slower or less blatantly "urban" labeled music. Granted, a saccharine ballad that sounds not to snuff on a Jessica Simpson album wasn't going to help her case as a pop singer, Brooke can kind of sing in a pleasant enough tone to make this song suck less.
That's the bad news for Brooke. The good news? She's off the hook for the rest of Day 2! Amazingly, she'll have 4 songs in the Top 10 meaning Willa and Paris are sort of doomed today...
...speaking of which...
15. Paris Hilton - Jealousy: 6 taking another righteous hit for Paris, is a song that's pretty much a diss track aimed at her former best friend and The Simple Life cast mate turned fashion maven in her own right, Nicole Ritchie. Paris' spoken portion sounds as insincere as any "how could you track" produced in the mid 00s, but the song is mostly there.
14. Willa Ford - Tired: 6 the fourth hit of the chin for Willa Was Here as the misguided expose track gets shown the door. This track actually has a history that can help explain why the album is why it is. For now, all I'll say is that history does not look kind on Willa's delivery of "Tired of the pop that should flop, that should never be on TV and in your teen magazines." Also, her delivery is so rushed/overwrought. BREATHE. Learn to BREATHE.
13. Paris Hilton - Turn It Up: 7 Paris takes another hit as it loses a single. Well, one that isn't as important; the 2nd single/1st and only promotional single released from the album and amazingly reached #1 on the Dance charts. It's no surprise why as the beat screams 2006 production for a surprisingly competent singer. Yes, as is typical by now, Paris Hilton is to not be mistaken for a singer. It's fine but horribly dated.
12. Willa Ford - Joke's On You: 7 Bad news? Willa Was Here takes a 5th collective chincheck for today. The good news? Willa's off the hook and gets to watch #11 get punched out in peace. To an untrained listener of pop in general, the tail end/money note of this song will have them think she missed the note. In actuality, she hit the note but the vocals used here don't match the beat used for the song.
and just missing the Top 10 is...
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. 11. Paris Hilton - Do Ya Think I'm Sexy: 7 Paris takes the last hit of Day 2 as the infamous cover from her album bites the dust, short of the Top 10. This wasn't some ordinary near pointless cover on an album. This was a cover of the Rod Stewart "classic" from the 70s. I remember people deriding this as a disgrace to the original song to where even some tubid cover act was featured on MTV bringing up what makes a good cover and they used this song as a "what NOT to do". Were these people right?
Probably, but only when Paris coo-sings the chorus. Coquettish vocals are nothing new for beginner pop music, but the singer has to be able to hit the notes. Does Paris accidentally sound like Tira from Soul Calibur III and/or Harley Quinn in recent iterations when she's supposed to be "playful"? Yes, but that's not the worst thing she did on this album.
Day 3/the finale will be posted some point in the day tomorrow. Until then, say hello to the Top 10, kids:
Undiscovered: About Us, All About Me, Letting Go & Crazy Love
Willa Was Here: I Wanna Be Bad, Did Ya’ Understand That & Ooh Ooh
Paris: Fightin’ Over Me, I Want You & Nothing In This World.
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