W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. Post 10: Ciara

This is a series dedicated to women who despite success in the U.S. Music Industry, have est. a very complicated image for themselves.

Round 10 of this series goes to ATL based One Woman Army (Before some jerkoff leaked tracks or something forcing a name change to) Ciara. *FUN FACT: She was named after a perfume.*

Aylin Zafar of BuzzFeed wrote of a virtually unknown way to pimp albums through the site, Groupon. [http://www.buzzfeed.com/azafar/are-album-deals-on-groupon-a-bad-omen-for-artists] Even with this, Ciara was mocked for something other artists have done through Groupon.
Jasmine A. Grant of Juicy Magazine's website wrote of her image and one of her bitter enemies, Rihanna. [http://www.juicymagonline.com/celeb/2013/07/the-rant-is-rihanna-really-a-better-artist-than-ciara]

Both of these add up to Ciara's image as someone who had a chance, fizzled and is trying her best to recapture her mid-2000s glory.

Ciara first emerged as the ATL "Princess or First Lady of Crunk&B" with her 2004 debut effort, Goodies. The title track for all of its seemingly glib content, did hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. However, the track was also slammed in a VH1 and Blender Magazine joint effort, 40 Most Awesomely Bad Dirrty Songs [albeit in a short segment, "Most Awesomely Bad Dirrty #1 Hits"] Personally, the song had a kickass instrumental to it and Ciara is a decent singer. The video however did highlight Ciara's dance moves which is something that for better and worse has been something she can fall back on.

Cut to her second single, "1,2 Step" featuring Missy Elliott. Personally this was an improvement over "Goodies". "1,2 Step" per Ciara's recurring theme showed off her choreography but seemed to gloss over the fact that outside of that she was being required to sing. Like I said, she's a decent singer and as Grant puts it [in a sense], "neither she or Rihanna are known for their vocals". The pure infectiousness of the song helped it reach #2 on the Hot 100.

Her third major single, "Oh" featuring Ludacris was personally the best song she put out during her "Crunk&B" days. The sound of "Oh" was to be a little more suggestive than the Janet Jackson inspired upbeat tempos of "Goodies" and "1,2 Step". The song eventually peaked at #2 on the Hot 100.
The album peaked at #3 on the Hot 100.

Two problems here:

1. The fourth and final single from the album, "And I" proved a troubling trope for Ciara; one bad song and it can go to shit quickly. Here it is in perspective; 3 previous songs that peaked in the top 3 of the Hot 100 with the debut single hitting #1. Nothing to be pissed off about. "And I" peaked at #96 on the Hot 100.

2. The fact that she was pigeonholed early on in her career as the premiere artist of a defunct niche, "Crunk&B". Her next set of albums would have to reveal a side to Ciara that proved she was more than a defunct niche.


Her sophomore effort, Ciara: The Evolution, seemed to build on that mission. The debut single from the album was "Get Up" ft. Chamillionaire and served as part of the soundtrack for the movie Step Up. That alone assured success along with the music video, which despite having the sex appeal portion of the end all be all 'How to Have a Prosperous Singing Career" formula*

*"How to Have a Prosperous Singing Career"

Singing ability + Controversy + Sex appeal = Prosperous singing career

Still seemed to paint the picture that Ciara was just a dancer who got lucky enough to fit singing lessons into her schedule. Incidentally enough, the song peaked at #7 on the Hot 100.

Then one of her most recognizable hits and arguably her signature song was released. "Promise" was marketed as a "sultry" song. The video certainly was as memorable as her others by then (As she proceeds to hump a chair; or give a chair a lap dance; tomato, tuh-mah-toe) but by "Promise" her commercial performance on the Hot 100 was slipping; the song peaked at #11 there, but went to #1 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs charts.

By her third single from the album, "Like A Boy", her commercial performance continued to slip. Peaking at #19 on the Hot 100 and #6 on the  Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs charts, "Like A Boy" would attain success for its video. Ciara's dancing for all of its interloping of her hopes to be recognized as a singer, was something that had people tuning into the music video blocks, to see her kickass dancing. "Like A Boy" was her most well received video [as of late garnering 60,826,995 views on VEVO; still her highest view count to date.]

Even that couldn't save her commercial performance by the time the fourth and final single from the album, "Can't Leave 'em Alone" ft. 50 Cent, the divide between Hot 100 and Hot R&B/Hip-Hop placings was evidently clear. The song peaked at #40 and #10 respectively.
Despite the seemingly pitiful placings the singles did, Ciara; The Evolution, debuted at #1 proving that despite the odds, the sex appeal portion of the aforementioned equation did prove to work in Ciara's favor.


Then came the one ride that her career is recovering from; her third album, Fantasy Ride.

The album had 4 major singles released; only the 3rd and 4th being the recognizable ones, but all 4 will be measured to show just how poor the album would be received.

First, was the single "Go Girl" ft. T-Pain. Admittedly by 2009, T-Pain was still a bit of a force in the business. Despite that, the song peaked at #78 on the Hot 100; #88 on the Pop 100 and went to #1...in Japan on the Japan Hot 100. International success is one thing, but if U.S. success alludes you...O_O.
Second, was "Never Ever" ft. Young Jeezy. As with T-Pain, Young Jeezy was one of the emerging stars of the Hip-Hop world by then. Although not as bad chart wise as "Go Girl", "Never Ever" peaked...at #66 on the Hot 100, but did peak at #9 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart.

The third single, and first top 10 Hot 100 hit since "Get Up", "Love Sex Magic" ft. Justin Timberlake (For all its titular flaws) proved to be the type of collaborative effort Ciara needed to regain some ground in the U.S. The video for the song also helped spread buzz as...well...she gets a little whore-ish with him. At one point in the video, she licks his ear O_O and pretty much reverse straddles him, but even I liked how the song sounded.
Fourth, was "Work" ft. Missy Elliott. This one is recognizable mainly because it was used in a commercial that Ciara was in, pimping the LG Chocolate cell phone. Let's just say the song didn't chart in the U.S. at all.

Even though it went to #3, Fantasy Ride, sold only 195,000 copies.
In perspective, Silver takes 100,000; Gold takes 500,000; Platinum takes 1,000,000; Diamond takes 10,000,000. That means the album only went Silver. Her previous efforts were 2,748,000 and 1,326,000 respectively. O_O

The commercial dissonance didn't end there.

Her fourth effort, Basic Instinct, would go on to sell 116,000 copies...and peak at #44 on the Billboard 200. [*screaming bloody "murther"*] The only real single that made any impact was "Ride" ft. Ludacris. The single peaked at #42 on the Hot 100 but went to #3 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs charts. Audio wise, this was one of Ciara's best singles to date and compared to her other efforts, is one of the few that ages the best.
However, the video for the song created buzz and controversy that she inadvertently needed.
The video is hailed as being Ciara's sexiest to date; she rides a mechanical bull; she gyrates suggestively and dances her ass off.
Yet, the video was considered too racy for BET. Yes, the same BET that had "BET After Dark" BET. Around the time "Ride" was released, Trey Songz had his songs, "Neighbors Know My Name" and "I Invented Sex" on BET rotation. Translation: BET was accused of having a double standard of being ok with a dude singing and parading sex but not with a woman doing the same thing. Despite wanting to comply with an edit to her video, it was still played on MTV and VH1 and even earned this comment on YouTube...

   

“Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pornhub is down, this video will do.”

-YouTube account holder, Redstone 2008

Sadly her other singles from the album, "Speechless" and "Gimme Dat" went to #76 and #63 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs charts, failing to capitalize on the muffin basket of press "Ride" gave.

Cut to her fifth effort, Ciara. The album debuted at #2 on the Billboard Hot 200 selling 59,000 or so copies upon release. It sounds like pitiful album sales but in perspective, Justin Timberlake's creepy musical cousin, Robin Thicke had his most recent effort Blurred Lines go to #1 selling 177,000 copies. *Fun fact: Both of them outsold video game villain/Black Eyed Peas frontman, will.i.am and his most recent effort, #willpower (Yes, he meant for a "Twitter hashtag" to be there. I know; it's fucking stupid) which to date has sold 58,000 copies in the U.S.*

The lead single, "Body Party" peaked at #22 on the Hot 100, went to #6 on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs charts and went to #1 on the Hot Dance Club Songs charts.

The next single "I'm Out" ft. Nicki Minaj is a thing as its full commercial success has yet to be measured.

Despite Ciara's love/hate reception by mainstream audiences of late, Rachel of Autostraddle [http://www.autostraddle.com/five-ciara-videos-that-made-me-queer-155903/] by way of

Saeed Jones of BuzzFeed [http://www.buzzfeed.com/saeedjones/7-music-videos-that-pay-homage-to-paris-is-burning] write of a rather positive reception of Ciara in the LGBT community* ------------->*She actually got served court documents in the middle of her performing at a concert for L.A. Pride*
The reason the positive reception is there is because of the things that made her singing career overshadowed. Her videography, choreography and sex appeal were measured in Rachel of Autostraddle's article in a 5 video tribute. Jones measured her appreciation of Atlanta ball culture*
*Ball culture refers to a "ball"; to learn more of this facet of the LGBT community, look up the documentary Paris Is Burning on YouTube. It is the LGBT Citizen Kane.*

All in all, what made Ciara is the same thing that makes her one of many W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I.; relying on dancing, being sexy and having been labeled in a niche now defunct genre of music. Public perception of her career since then, has been...well that she's a has been. Ciara is a decent singer that at least deserves a top 10 hit on the Hot 100 again.

Next up; a woman who puts the ! in "She's the woman who's next in this series!"

This List is "Rank": America's Next Top Model 1-19

*FINALLY! I have a list series [of sorts]. Every list will be called, "This List is 'Rank'"; for those outside of the U.S., I'm using the term "rank" to acknowledge its colloquial base in the U.S. (It's one of many slang terms for "this stinks!" which is just a colloquial way of disapproving of someone's sentiments in non-political based ideas.)*

With Cycle 20 of the show 90s Supermodel phenom Tyra Banks made up in her kitchen, America's Next Top Model, looming I feel it necessary to rank every season to date...meaning ALL 19 CYCLES (!) As to why the Cycles will be where they are, I explain in what I consider to be thorough detail.


The system will be 19-1 meaning "Most deplorable" to "Best cycle"...play rough and get it on!


19. America's Next Top Model: College Edition (C 19)- Yes, it seems a tad predictable to place the most recent cycle dead last, but Cycle 19 was met with...negative reception from even the show's most die-hard fans. Oh who the fuck am I kidding; the show was raked over the coals deservedly. Although the show's been redesigned every now and then, this felt like a bastardization like I'd never seen.

ANTM regulars, Jay Manuel (creative director), J. Alexander (runway diva coach extraordinaire) and Nigel Barker (panelist from C 2- C 18) were given the heave ho. Social media was incorporated as a "4th judge" and had a glorified Facebook spokesperson in fashion blogger Bryanboy. Although, that was not the worst addition; that distinct honor goes to replacing Jay Manuel...with Katy Perry's bitch, Johnny Wujek. He earned my ire every time he glazed over and bitched about contestant Victoria Henley and her "back story" she had for every photo shoot (Yes, she represented evangelical nutcase "ground zero" Liberty University [online university], but any person who creates a "back story" for every character in her photo shoots should've gotten more credit.)

Compound with that a 1-10 grading scale; boring judge add-on Rob Evans; contestant Leila Goldkuhl getting ousted twice [she would finish 3rd, overall] and contestants Nastasia Scott and Kiara Belen finishing 4th and 2nd respectively (Despite the fact neither of their photos were good at any point in the competition) and C 19 left a terrible taste in my mouth.

18. America's Next Top Model: All Stars (C 17)- If it weren't for the fact that most of the contestants who came back were actually recognizable, this cycle was just terrible in the end. Apart from having to shill the "ANTM Fragrance" Dreams Come True, C 17 was overshadowed by bitching and moaning. C 12 favorite, Allison Harvard, got screwed out of the title again.

But most damning of all was the controversial "disappearance" of C 14 representative, Angelea Preston. Miss "Hood! 716! Buffalo!" ended up in the Top 3 fashion show where she and Allison worked it out the best. Then she was disqualified and the final panel was re-shot in Los Angeles...after Angelea had actually won the show! Supposedly, she had spoiled her victory over Facebook and Twitter, but in an interview with Sire Says [http://www.siresays.com/2013/01/angeleaprestoninterview.html] Angelea firmly denied that she spoiled her victory.

C 5 representative, Lisa D'Amato was named the winner after...something dethroned Angelea. Although a C 16 contestant on the show nearly made the whole thing un-watchable much like her original cycle she poisoned with her presence...

17. America's Next Top Model (C 16)- Alexandria Everett somehow became one of the least liked contestants in my eyes in only an episode. Her "alpha" declarations were proof positive that arrogance is not screened for contestants of the show. How her arrogant ass got 4th place is beyond me to this day.

Other reasons why this cycle was off? Well...2 things; 1. The "Ford Warriors in Pink" incident. Eventual winner of C 16, Brittani Kline did the right thing at the wrong place. After the challenge in collaboration with cause against breast cancer, "Warriors in Pink" which Alexandria inexplicably won alongside a 2012 Ford Focus, Brittani lead the group sentiment that Alexandria was the wrong victor; cut to Tyra scolding Brittani for calling a bitch out on the job and revealing that she has been outvoted in the past alluding to C 3 when Toccara Jones was ousted; eep. It made for excellent drama but it completely dragged the show down.

2. Eventual runner-up Molly O'Connell's follicle debacle. O_O She had every right to complain about the hair she was given in the makeovers.

16. America's Next Top Model: British Invasion (C 18)- One of the more intriguing concepts in ANTM anthology; pit 7 American hopefuls with 7 veterans of Britain's Next Top Model. This should have been flawless in execution; however, drama quickly took over again...even though the first major outburst was kind of deserved.
In episode 3, the girls worked with nefarious fashion personality (And part time folkloric monster) Kelly Cutrone in a team stylized ad try for British online retailer, very.com. British contender and runner up of Britain's Next Top Model C 3, Louise Watts, spoke out against Cutrone's condescending demeanor during that episode's judging. Eventually, the scolding against Watts became too much for her to put up with and she abruptly quit the show. Playing Devil's Advocate for a bit, there is a difference between est. boss(client)/employee dynamics without being retched about it. Cutrone wasn't hired to be the "Paula Abdul*" of ANTM (*"Paula Abdul" = "Too nice judge"*) but acting lurid to a contestant no matter how skilled is downright unacceptable.

Then, boring "girl fights" broke out through the entire season; contestant Eboni Davis had to endure those fakakta pigtails given to her as a makeover and eventual winner [and first non-American winner] Sophie Sumner would go on to have one of the weakest winner's portfolio in show anthology. Sorry Sophie; you're a "go-see" queen but your portfolio is just so bland.

Also, ask anybody you know that has watched C 18 and ask them about AzMarie Livingston being eliminated and...well the nice way of saying it is...SHIT WILL GET REAL.

15. America's Next Top Model (C 14)- The reason this cycle ranks so low is because of 2 people; 1. 4th place finisher, Alexandra Underwood. She earned my ire after her disastrous "fake fashion is fierce...PSYCH!" shoot; a Covergirl photo try was atrocious, but she wasn't eliminated and one of the worst photos in ANTM history; the dress made of hair shoot. Why she advanced overseas I will never understand.

2. Eventual winner, Krista White was just bland despite great runway potential. I only liked 2 photos of her in the entire competition. Neither of which was her ad try for Covergirl (i.e.- the crucial photo shoot as a Covergirl contract was part of the prize package.)

Still, the cycle was watchable to me...mainly because I have watched every cycle of the show.

*Fun fact: When Andre Leon Talley assumed the panel spot previously occupied by J. Alexander, we all learned that Vogue personnel are insane!*

14. America's Next Top Model (C 13)- Even though the premise for the cycle was a bit...lacking [C 13 was the "Petite Cycle" where contestants could not be over 5' 7''] and Nicole Fox ended up winning [BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!], the cycle was a nice way for Tyra to relay the message that every model type can be beautiful.
Granted that sounds more like a Dove body wash commercial than a show about modeling...on a TV show that pulls in ratings for the CW.

Apart from that, contestants like Sundai Love, Erin Wagner & Jennifer An [5th, 4th/3rd to double elimination respectively] possessed the most modeling potential. Eventual All-Stars contestant, Laura Kirkpatrick [C 13 runner up] even had some of the strongest shots in the cycle, but apparently if you were called "bloody eyeball" as a child and sound like your blood type is quaaludes, you're ANTM material -_-.

13. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 5)- Four names that made this cycle wonderful. Bre Scullark, Kim Stolz, Nik Pace and Lisa D'Amato. These were contestants that had persona and modeling potential.

The one name that ruined it? Nicole Linkletter; the eventual winner of C 5.

*Fun fact: Cassandra Whitehead became the first contestant to quit the competition over not wanting her hair cut short another inch.*

12. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 15)- This was the Cycle that kicked it up a notch, prize wise. Instead of Seventeen Magazine, the contestants would pose, sashay and "work it!" for a chance to be on Italian Vogue (All you need to know about Italian Vogue or Vogue Italia, is that it is considered the one and only fashion magazine Bible).
Cycle 11 reject, Kacey Leggett returned and even made it to the house where she was eliminated before the top 8...oh well.

A controversy that emerged with the fans was the eventual runner-up Chelsey Hersley and a variant of her makeover. When she was told her gap would be widened by a rather small unit of measurement, fans took to online criticism citing eventual Cycle 6 winner Danielle Evans being told to close her gap.

However, the mainstream controversy emerged with body image; in the casting episode, eventual winner of C 15, Ann Ward's gaunt appearance was so much to where J. Alexander could wrap his hands around her waist. In episode 2, contestant Anamaria Mirdita was slammed for looking too thin in her photograph. When she seemed to scoff at a legitimate concern, she was eliminated.

Personally, Kacey, 3rd place finisher Kayla Ferrel and 5th place finisher Chris White were the best reasons to watch the show. Though credit must be given to Ann for being the first winner of the show from Texas.

11. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 9)- This cycle brings about ugly memories for fans of the show that wanted eventual 5th, 3rd and runner-ups Heather Kuzmich, Jenah Doucette and Chantal Jones respectively to win. Specifically, the close ties eventual winner Saleisha Stowers had with Tyra before the show, leading some to believe that C 9 was rigged.

Apart from a transparent admission on the show [Saleisha had attended Tyra's self esteem camp for young girls, T-Zone.] video sleuths discovered Stowers had appeared in a commercial for the fast food chain, Wendy's around the time C 9 casting had begun. This was brought to the attention of the production team when the show started to air, but Tyra ally Ken Mok relayed that the Wendy's commercial did not violate the "No modeling X months before casting allowed" rule.
However, it was also discovered that long before the Wendy's commercial, Stowers was walking in a fashion show that challenge winners in C 6 were invited to attend.

Apart from "Saleisha-gate", eventual All Stars contestant and 4th place of C 9, Bianca Golden was raked over the coals for her attitude; specifically the interactions between Golden and Kuzmich. Kuzmich has Asperger Syndrome; this stunts her social interaction skills. Golden was a bit perplexed as to how Kuzmich was receiving acclaim for her performances which she felt were lacking. Personally, I liked Bianca as a model more so than Heather.
Watching the cycle again whenever it appears in reruns on Oxygen or Style (Sanction me bitches) I sort of sympathize with Kuzmich. However, as a modeling show [in some degrees, I know] Bianca was just FIIIEEEEEEEEEEERCE!

Also, this line never gets old...

"Check your thighs in the mirror! And I'm done!"

- Bianca Golden [spoken at Saleisha Stowers]

10. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 7)- Yes this is the cycle that had CariDee English take a very deserved victory and even had Eugena Washington turn from arrogant bitch to reformed sass queen AND even had twins Amanda and Michelle Babin compete against each other. What could ruin such a cycle?

One name: Melrose Bickerstaff.
Although Monique Calhoun would be one of the show's biggest bitches, she looked like a fucking saint compared to Melrose. Melrose's brand of arrogance was positively repugnant to watch every week. Eventually, she would produce the worst Covergirl ad try in the history of the show. Cycle 8 runner up Natasha Galkina has the second worst, but Melrose's is just...in a nice way of phrasing it...FUCKING LURID.

9. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 10)- The debut cycle of 3 cycle panelist, Paulina Porizkova, began with a shocking exit. Contestant Kimberly Rydzewski had claimed to want out of the competition for really stupid reasons. Only on Tyra's talk show was it revealed that she had used the show as a form of escapism after her ex-boyfriend committed suicide three months before the competition.
But even that wasn't the start of a deliciously conflicting cycle...

Eventual All-Stars contestant and C 10 4th place finisher Dominique Reighard was framed by the fans as the cycle's villain...mainly for talking. I never saw what they did about Dominique. Even after her fight with contestants Claire Unabia, Lauren Utter [6th place], and even eventual winner Whitney Thompson. However, the most famous exchange between Reighard and Thompson came about when Reighard accused Thompson of being racist towards black people based on the negative interactions they had been having up to that point.

Cut to Lauren's general awkwardness, C 9 reject Marvita Washington placing 10th overall, one of the fiercest contestants Katarzyna Dolinska placing 5th and fans losing their shit when Whitney won the competition instead of Anya Kop.

Credit given to Whitney for being the first plus-sized model to win.

8. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 6)- Despite the fact that this cycle had the wonderful Danielle Evans win and Joanie Dodds becoming the first contestant to reach the finals without an appearance in the bottom 2 and having memorable characters such as Furonda Brasfield, Mollie Sue Steenis-Gondi [one of the few girls who has been in Vogue magazine before Cycles 15-18 made it a prize package], Gina Choe, Brooke Staricha, Nnenna Agba and even Leslie Mancia...one name ruined it all with a brand of arrogance and delusion that borders with the Melrose; Jade Cole.

Even though she was unintentionally hilarious, Jade needed a dose of reality. Sadly, she has yet to receive such treatment.

7. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 4)- Eventual winner Naima Mora, Runner-up Kahlen Rondot, 6th place finisher Michelle Deighton, 4th Place finisher and All-Stars contestant Brittany Brower, Cycle 3 reject turned contestant Tiffany Richardson, attitude queen [but fierce contestant] Brandy Rusher...
The first double elimination of ANTM history...
That infamous teleprompter challenge ["*looks to the left*"]...
The last cycle Janice Dickinson would read contestants to filth...
Rebecca Epley fainting during a panel due to a medical condition from birth...
Tyra shouting her lungs out at Tiffany[*"STOP IT! I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A GIRL LIKE THIS! I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU; WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU! HOW DARE YOU!"*]
Lluvy Gomez being told her astrological sign photo is the worst in the history of the show [by that point].

Anything else? Oh yeah...

"OH MY GOD! SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!"

-Brittany Brower [Spoken to Keenyah Hill]

6. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 2) This cycle was defined by 3 major tropes of the show.

The first being, the metamorphosis of Shandi Sullivan from dorky Walgreens employee to one of the more high-fashion contestants in the history of the show. She also presented one of the most memorable moments when she cheated on her boyfriend at the time, Eric. She slept with one of the Vespa drivers on their go-see challenge; she feels guilt; he utters the words, "...and you threw it all away. You stupid bitch." Sadly, a VH1 retrospective revealed that being on ANTM did her in post airing and had been reduced to the weekly karaoke entertainment for the bar she frequented.

Second, racial identities were being addressed. Xiomara Frans famously bemoaned having to portray legendary model/actress/singer Grace Jones due to being uncomfortable looking darker than she is. Sara Racey-Tabrizi had the intention of portraying Persian women in a better light than she felt was had on her own. April Wilkner never identified with her Japanese heritage despite the fact that she had predominantly Japanese features.

Third, the sheer arrogant but fiercely shady tenure of eventual All-Stars contestant Camille McDonald. This is the woman who was alluded to when C 3 casting emerged when Tyra said, "I don't want to cast another 'black bitch'." Bitchy she may have been, but honey gave some fabulous television. There was the in judging test where she justified an ugly necklace and clashing purse going with the black dress the contestants were forced to change into...because they had circles.
There was the personal style meet with Simon Doonan of Barneys NY where Camille gave the Jamaican pride speech about her outfit; "red is for the blood; green is for the land yellow is for the sun" *Something to that effect.*

Then, there was this legendary quip whilst being surveyed by a fake terrible client...

"Caractere"- "She wants to know why you're walking like that."

"This is my signature walk and this is what's going to make me famous."

-Camille McDonald [spoken to some asshole pretending to be an asshole client.]

Add in the most likable Top 2 in ANTM history, Mercedes Scelba-Shorte and Yoanna House and this was one of the better seasons of the show.

5. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 11)- This cycle has it all; a French immigrant who's a nervous wreck, a Ukrainian born control freak with a penchant for gender neutrality, the fiercest Asian contestant in show history and the series' first transgender contestant who appeared in C 10's first photo shoot as a background model. [These contestants were Marjorie Conrad, Elina Ivanova, Sheena Sakai and Isis King; Sheena and Isis would become All-Stars contestants.]

This cycle had some of the most jaw dropping moments in history; Joslyn Pennywell's elimination; Hannah White being eliminated outside of judging for her runway walk not being up to snuff (And her goddamn reminiscing of Alaska); a political issue themed photo shoot; a runway themed in-judging test whilst wearing clogs!

Compound with that, fights over cultural misunderstandings between Marjorie and Elina and Samantha Potter and Sheena...along with some of the most high fashion shoots in the history of the show, and Cycle 11 ranks this high if only it weren't for Elina turning out to be such a disappointment.

*Fun fact: Contestant Clark Gilmer appeared on an episode of the GSN game show, Baggage. She ended up making it to the final round, but I got too bored to watch the end*

4. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 12)- One name: Allison Harvard. C 12 and All-Stars runner-up! Harvard was originally an internet superstar known as "Creepy Chan". Add her love of nosebleeds [not the type that happened from getting punched in the nose because she thought it was "cheating"] and her sheer modeling fierceness, she has always been a favorite of mine.

That and this cycle's drama was front and center; eventual 4th place finisher Celia Ammerman called out Tahlia Brookins for wanting to quit the show prior to judging. Tyra scolded her because Tahlia did not quit nor did she have the desire to relay her wanting to quit herself...the fight even went on to the next episode! Aminat Ayinde lead the charge of "Team Tahlia" while Natalie Pack lead the charge of "Team Celia". Celia and Tahlia barely said anything to EACH OTHER and THEY were the ones at the center of this. Celia was placed in the bottom 2 for that episode because of what happened at the last panel.

Add in an appearance from Helô Pinheiro AKA "The Girl from Ipanema" and a Carmen Miranda themed photo shoot, this cycle kept my attention.

3. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 1) The O.G. cycle of ANTM. The debut of Janice Dickinson's brash and eccentric self to the American television public. Goddamn was this a good cycle. 10 memorable contestants and some of the most legendary sound bites to date...

"This is not a sorority; this is a modeling competition."

-Ebony Davis [Spoken to Robin Manning]

"*Elyse Sewell's rant against the entire house*"

"Screw waitressing ever again!"

-Adrianne Curry

"My grandma always used to tell me

if you don't stand for something,

you will fall for anything."

-Robin Manning

"Where was your Bible when you were shaking your tits?"

-Janice Dickinson [Spoken to Robin Manning]

Add in a hilarious encounter playing French socialites with "lustful" Parisian men and the metamorphosis of Adrianne Curry from "stoner chick" to a Supermodel [now Comic-Con costumer sensation] and C 1 set the bar for the rest of the cycles and only the 2 cycles below rank with and above C 1.

2. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 8)- All I need to type...Natasha [despite the awful Covergirl ad try], Jael Strauss, Dionne Walters, Renee Alway and C 7 reject turned C 8 winner Jaslene Gonzalez.

Jaslene is legendary for being the first Latina model to win the title and for being the first contestant to win without appearing in the bottom 2 [besting Dodds' achievement].

Dionne is legendary for her persona and her go-see antics asking every Australian designer if she could keep the outfit she was modeling...and for also kissing C 5 alumnae Kim in a photo shoot.

Renee is noted for being a reformed Melrose type. Bitchy at first but when called out for her attitude she eventually toned it down...60%. Better than Melrose, but still stunted. Fierce photos weren't enough to clench victory as she was eliminated in 3rd place for being too old looking.

Natasha was proof that models could be molded on a UPN turned CW program. Known for her infectious persona and her quick study skill she lost the competition for that goddamn lurid Covergirl ad try for losing momentum in the final fashion show for Sass and Bide...and for being unlike Jaslene and having appeared in the bottom 2 before.

Honorary shout-out to Kathleen DuJour for being the most memorable first cast off ever for her lack of knowledge on how the fur for fur coats and accessories is acquired. See below...

"I don't think you should kill an animal for its fur,

but if it's already dead...you can make a coat [...]

Animals die like people die sometimes

in the jungles, right?"

-Kathleen DuJour over her fur...misconceptions

1. America's Next Top Model (Cycle 3)- Three words...Eva the Diva. Eventual winner, Eva Pigford [now Eva Marcille] came out the gate a winner with the fiercest audition runway EVER. However, her personality had chafed "about 80% of the girls" that had auditioned before her. Eventually Tyra alluded to not wanting to cast "another 'black bitch'" like Camille [and maybe Robin from C 1] during her audition and she softened up enough to channel fierceness throughout the cycle and win.

She is also responsible for these sound bites...

"Toccara comes to all of us saying she feels she's going to win because she got the most applause...

you got applause because your titties were out, girl."

"I don't compare myself to other girls...I'm...I'm Eva!"

Apart from that every other contestant was memorable. Magdalena was the first contestant to be eliminated outside of panel. Leah got a cow for her birthday. Julie was the first East Indian contestant, and was ousted for using this competition to further a career path in fashion merchandising [or fashion manufacturing]. Kristi was a NY Republican who was ousted after her "Carol Burnett" chin was thought to be uncontrollable. Jennipher hated her hometown of Pocatello, Idaho, had hippie length hair and mooned the judges with "ANTM" written on her ass. Kelle was the preppy art gallery owner who couldn't take a good photo to save her ass. Cassie was the stripper whose bulimia while alarming had a lack of cleaning  that sparked a vicious verbal sparring after "Clean your shit" was written in a pan of her brownies.

Toccara was and is always "F-A-B-O" and was a beacon of hope for plus-sized model hopefuls. Nicole was the one who alluded to bisexuality in her casting segment, was given red hair and was completely neglected in the Top 6...twice. Norelle was the worst runway walker in show history before Hannah in Cycle 11; she fell during the Heatherette fashion show they were part of and thought Panda Express was Japanese food. Ann was the water polo virtuoso whose beauty couldn't translate to Tyra's film and had been subject to rumors of her wanting Eva sexually. Amanda was the legally blind beauty and mother to Eli whose Nivea themed photo is one of the strongest in show anthology.

Yaya was the Ivy League graduate who despite photographic fierceness turned arrogant by the show's end. She was also noted for wearing the shirt that started the Ann V.S. Cassie fight in the restaurant; All I can do is quote Eva in her segment over the fight in Top Model: Exposed..."Yaya and her 'respeito' t-shirt. Like whatever, dude. It's not that deep."

Eva was the first black winner of the show; the first west coast of the U.S. winner and the shortest winner to date at 5' 6''. Keep in mind C 13 was the "petite cycle" and Nicole was 5' 7''.

Hope this gives enough insight as to how I rank cycles 1-19 of ANTM.

4th Story Coming Together & Miscellany

My 4th story, "The Sword of Coke 'N Whores" is in the middle of nearing Act I completion. Normally, I'd be slaving away at Act II Part I...however:

1. I brainstormed this story for once. The other stories just came to me w/o any type of plan and I got done at freakishly break neck paces.

2. Twitter is a bit of a distraction. I'll admit it openly.

3. I also give some distraction credit to having to take inspiration from YouTube. I've been watching "Soul Calibur III" videos ["Tales of the Soul" mode] just to est. a new groove for this story.


Although, I do like the chances of Act II completion once Act I is done.

Act I just needs 9 more pages and then I will be done with that.

Thought I'd let you all know that.


Also, the list thing for the blog? I'll get to one soon, I promise.

Keep in mind there is Post 10 for the W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. Series [regarding the "One Woman Army" of Ci, Herself and She] on the way.

The Voice U.S. S5 "MUST HAPPENS"

Inspired by a 10 "life lessons" of S4 from Idolator, these are things that I feel need to happen for S5 of the show...

First, Blake Shelton must lose at any cost. As a friend on Twitter (@ImageFighter13) put it, "1 win was alright with me, 2 wins pissed me off, 3 wins almost blew my frikin head off, I will not see Blake win 4 times!!!" Especially with the S3 and S4 winners under his belt buckle, the coaches must unite together and pick diverse artists that can overshadow Blake's bland taste...or take an easy way out and hope Blake royally screws up. But for this to happen...

Second, Country music must be treated like the fucking plague. I'm talking "Miranda Lambert" or hardcore country music (Where you can feel the fans' sympathy to the Confederates of the Civil War type of Country music). Pop/Country like Taylor Swift is bearable for these shows [For the record, Carrie Underwood songs are fine as well but not this season. Too many of them were performed on S4 and frankly I got sick of it by the finale]; but hardcore Country must be banished or must result in early eliminations for any contestant that dare perform any hardcore Country song [except for these 3 songs below...]

1. "The Way You Love Me" by Faith Hill

2. "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain

3. "I'm Not Ready To Make Nice" by The Dixie Chicks

Any hardcore Country artist that performs any song that isn't on this shortlist? "Bye bitch!"

Third, an openly gay male must reach the final 4. The Voice has been as open as the LGBT contestants on, but as with the other show (The one where for 9 seasons a cantankerous British man read contestants down the house and into the cement for sounding bloody fucking awful? The one where Adam Levine chastised it for being repressive of its LGBT contestants?) gay men have never gotten a fair deal on The Voice.
Openly lesbian contestants such as Beverly McClellan, Vicci Martinez and Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel have reached the final 4; openly gay contestants Nakia and Cody Belew reached the top 8 ("But Cody never confirmed that!" watch his performances of "The Best", "Crazy In Love" and "Somebody To Love" again and figure the rest out). For the love of God voting public...let a gay man get to the final 4 for once.
Keep in mind; all of the LGBT contestants that have ever been on the show should be commended for having nerve to put themselves out there to this capacity...

To S1's Tyler Robinson, Tje Austin, Frenchie Davis, Nakia, Vicci Martinez and Beverly McClellan.

To S3's De'Borah and Cody Belew.

To S4's Karina Iglesias and Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel.

You are a brave and fearless collective; continue to be proud of yourselves as any of your fans have already.

[*DIS...IS A CLAIMER* S2's Erin Martin may or may not qualify as VoteForTheWorst reminded hardcore TV addicts that she was "Lyanna" on Rock of Love II...also Cody Belew of S3 might just be secure with his manhood as the shade before reminds, he never did verbally confirm or deny -_- <-------------ignore that sarcastic "face" in the disclaimer. Also, did S4's Luke Edgemon ever confirm or deny?]

Finally, NO. MORE. GODDAMN. MONTAGES. Those things suck out loud and no one likes them.

This is mainly my perspective on what should happen for S5.

W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. Post 9: Azealia Banks

This is a series dedicated to women who despite success in the U.S. Music Industry, have est. a very complicated image for themselves.


Round 9 of this series goes to Harlem, NY "witch-hop" rapper/singer sensation and lightning rod of controversy, Azealia Banks. This post is a little hard for me to deeply analyze because her debut LP effort, Broke With Expensive Taste, has yet to be released.

Then after watching the "Liquorice" music video on YouTube again I decided to at least measure her image thus far through her EP, 1991, along with everything she's known for through my frame of reference.
Azealia's place in the world fits in with a lot of artists [let alone rappers]. A shitty childhood with an interest in music that would later turn into a career path.

Cut past her failed deal with XL Recordings to her initial breakout phase of c. early 2012. Her EP, 1991, and its lead single "212" ft. Lazy Jay were met with critical acclaim and YouTube viral status respectively. The main reason, Banks' song was met with such acclaim on YouTube are [for better or worse] these lines with text shown in the music video for the song...

"I GUESS THAT CUNT GETTIN EATEN"

and

"IMA RUIN YOU CUNT"

(It isn't bad of me to type the "C" word out as I realize for 2 reasons...if I'm quoting these lines from "212" or making reference to Ann Coulter.)

The song initially didn't capture me into Banks' world. It actually took the EP title track the day it was being streamed on certain sites. "1991" although not released as a single, has always been my favorite single from her to date. The video for this song is essentially an nostalgia orgasm for 90s House Music buffs as every image and visage Banks is in pays tribute to some 90s music videos. The song "Van Vogue" did get a music video and as far as I know got YouTube circulation mainly through a channel I swear is called Hunger Games TV [Please correct me if I'm wrong with the YouTube channel name].

However, controversy bit #1 musically came with the 2nd song released from the EP, "Liquorice". The controversy didn't stem from her Ol' Glory nails and other Ol' Glory accessories; not even her gunfight against herself; not even her surrounded by a ring of fire drew controversy. What pissed some people off was the accusation that she plagiarized lines from talentless giant ass haver Nicki Minaj's mixtape song "Kill Da DJ" [The part from 2:17 to 2:32 or so as the music video plays out].
Even if she did have that as an interpolation of the song [according to her Wikipedia page RE: "Liquorice"] it falls under the "Takeover Principle" [reference to the song "Takeover" by Jay-Z AKA the famed takedown of Nas when they had beef over each other for existing (Which any true rap fan will tell you that if its over songs, the beef is just a way for both to sell records)...

"You made it a hot line, I made it a hot song."

Meaning that Azealia made it FAAAAAAAAR better than Nicki. (Cue the "No Shit, Sherlock" sign)

1991 set the way for the mixtape Fantasea, and like its predecessor Fantasea was met with critical acclaim. The songs known off of the mixtape [to my knowledge] weren't released for mass radio consumption. Through means of online outlets like YouTube and SoundCloud, the songs did help Banks' claim that she was no fluke off of "212". "Jumanji" at the time of its online circulation didn't totally get my attention but it took recent footage of her performing the song at the 2013 Glastonbury Festival for me to understand how much this song really kicks ass (In fact...her Glastonbury performance will be mentioned again later. So fucking pay attention to everything else!)

"Fierce" has special qualities; most notably when viewing the Franklin Fuentes mix [AZEALIA BANKS feat. FRANKLIN FUENTES 'FIERCE' vs. Paris Is Burning] as it features apropos tribute to the legendary queens of Paris Is Burning (Which if you must know is one of the most critically acclaimed documentaries ever made and considered the LGBT equivalent of Citizen Kane). "Luxury" and "Atlantis" would be lucky enough to have full fledged music videos.
"Luxury" was posted to her official [non-VEVO] YouTube channel, AzealiaBanks, on September 27, 2012. The video was directed by Clarence Fuller and showed off her singing side along with her rap skills. Fashion wise this marked the 2nd time a black hat had made an appearance in one of her videos [the other being for "Liquorice"].

"Atlantis" brought about needless controversy through its video, directed by Fafi. The video made bigger waves than it ever anticipated when uploaded on November 11, 2012. Around the time Rihanna's performance of "Diamonds" on SNL was being reviewed, the performance video and Banks' "Atlantis" were the subject of some unneeded criticism of "artistic plagiarism". In a BuzzFeed article by Matthew Perpetua, he chronicles the bitching and moaning of web artists of "Seapunk". "Seapunk" is apparently a noun of added sea creature effect for a music video; it works with a green screen and aforementioned visuals.
To be clear, most of the hate was directed to Rihanna as JeromeLOL fans (Believe me when I say I can't make shit that ridiculous up on the spot) got all pissed as their stupid outlet of "creativity" was being the victim of "swagger jacking"*
*"Swagger Jacking" ; n.- The supposing of a person or group taking something most likely not copyrighted by an accuser and reveling in some level of success from said noun the accuser is claiming they "stole" (AKA falling victim to the Takeover Principal mentioned earlier.) I say to these people what I said about Bey's critics of "Countdown" and jaded fuckwads claiming Gaga is a Madonna knockoff...shut the fuck up! Be glad someone is giving some type of validity to the stupid shit you like. Yes, that sounds really mean, but leave Gaga, Beyoncé, Rihanna and Azealia alone *Ok, I'm done bitching about that for now*

Cut to the current era of her yet to be released debut LP, Broke With Expensive Taste. Kicking off the era was a cover of "Barely Legal" by The Strokes, a SoundCloud post made in early March of this year. This is the first song by Banks to not have any rapping on it as it is all singing. O_O The impact of the song has kind of a personal connection.
One day out walking to the mall, I stop in the Apple store and decide to look up the song again for enjoyment. After trying to calibrate the volume so that I can listen w/o disturbing everyone else, an employee approaches me and wonders about the song. I explain all about Azealia and he seems intrigued; he then whips out his phone and using some Shazam type tracking device discovers that the cover is even Shazam recognizable; he posts his find to Facebook and thanks me for the find (You see, internet people and actual people? THIS is how you shamelessly pimp music).
As of now, the public can't figure out if the cover is going to be on BWET.

The next song of the era/confirmed single/lead single, "Yung Rapunxel" was posted to SoundCloud before being released with its music video. The difference now being is that it was taken down off of SoundCloud and its video is found under her VEVO channel AzealiaBanksVEVO *Belated Fun fact: VEVO managed to misspell her first name when "Liquorice" was released and all members of the "Kunt Brigade" {her fans; one of them being a Twitter follower of mine, @WotAustin who's lucky enough to be followed by Azealia herself...and got nicknamed "Cinnamon Spring" by the budding legend herself} were pissed. The error had been corrected within the week or so but robbed "Liquorice" of about 2 million + views* "YR" is her angriest song to date and it totally works for her hardcore aura.
"YR" is her freakiest video to date and I loved every goddamn second of it; all that can be said is this...she breaks a champagne bottle over a police officer's head. That to me is art : P

The second most recently released confirmed song from BWET is "ATM Jam". Produced by Pharrell (Who give or take the "Blurred Lines" controversy alongside success with his Daft Punk collaboration "Get Lucky" is having a goddamn awesome year) the song is one of her most dance friendly efforts to date and the beat is more hardcore than good pornography [you better quote me on that].

Most recently, Azealia just completed a gig at the 2013 Glastonbury Festival performing the songs below [All time points are from the YouTube version of it on the YouTube channel RIKY] while serving "Harlem Rapper/Singer Reptar Realness".

Out of Space / Neptune (00:07)
Atlantis (02:11)
F**k Up The Fun (04:35)
Van Vogue (06:50)
Fierce (09:53)
No Problems (12:08)
Cosmo Scratch (14:50)
Bambi (16:18)
1991 (18:48)
Jumanji (21:41)
Harlem Shake (24:16)
Bad Bitches Do It (27:56)
Luxury (31:20)
Liquorice (34:12)
Esta Noche (37:12)
ATM Jam Tease (40:50)
212 (42:56)
Yung Rapunxel (46:53)

The Guardian (a UK publication) gave the performance a 4 out of 5.

As to what makes Azealia Banks one of many W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I.? Apart from being accused of being illuminati trash like at least half of the artists I've covered or so, the following is taken from her Wikipedia page under "Controversies"...


"On January 4, 2013, Banks engaged in a feud on Twitter with blogger Perez Hilton. The feud – initially between Banks and fellow rapper Angel Haze – escalated in nature after Hilton sided with the latter, who had just previously referred to Banks as a "charcoal skinned bitch."[63] This support for Haze resulted in Banks to begin feuding with Hilton, with one tweet by Banks reading, "what a messy faggot you are." The tweet – among other tweets to Hilton in a similar tone – was met with an immediate backlash, after which Banks wrote "A faggot is not a homosexual male. A faggot is any male who acts like a female. There's a BIG difference." Banks apologized shortly after to those who were offended by her post, excluding Hilton.[64] Banks' comments triggered a statement from the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) that read "Regardless of her intent or her personal definition, what matters is the meaning given to that word by those who hear it, and the damage it causes when they do."[65] Banks condemned GLAAD's statement and said the organization was "fucking complete bullshit." She compared the public's reaction to usage of the word "nigger" in hip-hop music against usage of "faggot" and said, "Why are all these other things like murder and sex and violence and all these other things accepted, but as soon as I call one gay white man a faggot, his feelings are more important..."[66] Banks noted her own bisexuality, stating "I knew what I meant when I used that word".[65]

The following month, Banks was involved in a feud with producers Baauer and Diplo after Banks posted a remix of Baauer's song "Harlem Shake." The remix, featuring Banks' vocals, was removed at Baauer's request,[67] although she posted emails sent by Baauer stating that he liked her version of the song.[68] Baauer responded that he didn't like Banks' vocals and previously requested her not to post the remix.[69] Banks reposted her remix and denied Baauer's claims, saying she was informed Baauer did not wish to officially release Banks' version because he wished to feature Juicy J instead.[70] After the feud, which included a tweet directed toward Baauer where Banks stated "may you drown in faggotry," LGBT publication The Advocate informed its readers that Banks' music sales had increased since her previous feud with Hilton.[71]

Banks has also taken part in feuds with fellow musicians T.I., The Stone Roses, Iggy Azalea, Kreayshawn, ASAP Rocky, Rita Ora, Shystie, Jim Jones,[72][73][74] Lil' Kim, Nicki Minaj, Funkmaster Flex, Lily Allen, and Dominique Young Unique, past managers such as Troy Carter and Dave Holmes, and novelist Amanda Brunker.[75]"

(She's already a goddamn legend in my book if her shit-list is this long with NO debut LP released as of yet.)

Bitch loves controversy, but this is what gets me about her "f****t" controversy. It started out as a beef between her and some nobody named Angel Haze (Apparently she's a rapper from Detroit) over Haze trying to claim some NYC credit; this upset Banks and she felt the need to call her out as her Detroit roots don't make her a true blue New Yorker. Gossipy bitch, Perez Hilton, sided with Haze and Banks stood up for herself. However, even I thought she shouldn't have called him that word. Yet as she was being raked over the coals for using the word...

1. Perez used the word against will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas after a scuffle in Toronto, Canada. will.i.am is straight and Perez fucked up royally. Even if he didn't deserve getting punched out for that, he lost all rights scolding others for using that word because he used it against a straight man.

2. Porn star/NewNowNext sexpert/Writer Conner Habib and I got into this brief exchange when he was scolding Azealia...

Me: "@ConnerHabib you better be vilifying Perez Hilton too. He had NO place to scold her on using the word. #BrokenRecord #Whatever

Him: "@MrSwearword faggots can say faggots all they want but I'm not a fan of bullying on either end."

By then I had been in brief scuffles with another Twitter user, @futurescoundrel. Our scuffle was actually before the exchange with Conner. *Remember, I name names on this blog*.

That aside, Banks early on had been compared to Nicki Minaj. That upset me because Nicki is a god-awful excuse for a rapper let alone a female rapper. Also, let it be known Minaj lied about her being bisexual. Azealia never lied about her being bisexual and she got raked over the coals for the Perez thing even though he's a reviled gay man in the gay community!
She's also been read to filth needless times on the E! show Fashion Police, as her Coachella stage outfit was named worst of the week as opposed to former Pussycat Doll Melody Thornton, whose look was actually worse than Banks' outfit was [the only reason Banks was named worst of the week was because Thornton had the balls (And Domino's Pizza areolas O_O) to be there with slightly better hair and in the same outfit]. Also, her look at the Life Ball in Vienna was read to filth even though...IT'S A FUCKING STAGE OUTFIT. I swear that show has pissed me off more than I fully realize.

So all in all, it's a mix of bravado, profanity and her existence that makes Azealia one of many W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. I can't wait until Broke With Expensive Taste is either released or delayed again. Either way, still a fan.


Next up; her "Goodies" kind of went stale on one bad Fantasy Ride.

New Content in the Works

Well, good news those that read...I'm working on some new content for the blog.


Confirmed

- A new story titled "The Sword of Coke 'N Whores"


- Entry 9 for the W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. [which I'm sort of reluctant to start only because the debut effort of this artist has yet to be released]


I admit list forming is a bit of a bitch to even contemplate, but if something comes up it will come up.


Just thought I'd hint towards 2 confirmed works in progress.

W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. Post 8: Rihanna

This is a series dedicated to women who despite success in the U.S. Music Industry, have est. a very complicated image for themselves.

[First thing's first, I apologize for not providing content since the Voice U.S. S4 finale recap. I just didn't know what I felt like posting next.]

Round 8 of this series goes to Barbados raised and now constantly blazed Pop sensation, Rihanna.
She grew up in Barbados' capital, Bridgetown, and eventually broke through to the U.S. market by way of Jay-Z signing her to Def Jam Records.

Cut to her initial debut effort, Music of the Sun, released in 2005. The album was an "Urban Dance-Pop" effort ("Urban" being pseudo racist code for black.) that played up Rihanna's island flair. Even though one single would go on to be recognizable from that album, it would be one of the biggest "earworms" of 00s music. "Pon de Replay" would be one of many successful singles she would unleash [peaking at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100]. Although the song is annoying, in retrospect it sets the stage for Rihanna's eventual bitchslapping of the industry.

Her next effort, A Girl like Me, went more pop than its predecessor and it paid off; even if only 2 singles would be remembered from the album. The lead single from the album is the song that I sensed would make Rihanna's career lasting; "SOS". The song is the second major cover/remake of "Tainted Love" by Gloria Gaynor and sampled the background music of Soft Cell's version of "Tainted Love". All that adding some scintillating video work, and "SOS" became her first #1 single on the Hot 100.
The next [and last recognizable] song from the album, "Unfaithful" was an effort co-written by Ne-Yo that while admittedly pleasing lyrically, never really did anything to justify her singing voice. Despite that, it became another top 10 song for her.

Somewhere along the line between the end of A Girl like Me and her next effort Good Girl Gone Bad, Rihanna embraced a standard move for pop singers in the U.S. Music Industry; reinventing the image. If you've ever been confused by this term, all this amounts to is tweaking the selling points of a music act [solo or group] for future albums after the first 2 or so efforts. In Rihanna's case, it involved adding sex appeal to her repertoire and a haircut.
The lead single from the album is one of the most successful and annoying "earworms" released to date. "Umbrella" ft. Jay-Z went to #1 on the Hot 100; had some admittedly nice video elements (That silver paint must've been a bitch to wash off) but still highlighted that the song is annoying as hell. However, the album would have 4 recognizable singles total [her highest by then].
The next single released is the wonderful (And blunt as hell innuendo wise) song "Shut Up and Drive". Kickass singing along with the least subtle "Drivers Ed." course (Over fucking!) alongside a video showing off her "Adorably Slutty yet Efficient Lady Mechanic" realness had it land #1 on the Hot Dance Club charts.
"Hate That I Love You" ft. Ne-Yo would continue the success of Good Girl Gone Bad. One of the better collaborative efforts of the 00s, the song reached #7 on the Hot 100. Then came one of Rihanna's most overrated efforts.
"Don't Stop the Music" kissed a little Michael Jackson fandom ass; it sampled the "Mama-say, mama-sa, ma-ma-ko-ssa" line from "Wanna Be Startin' Something" and I'll be honest. I hated this song when released because I found it to be entirely mindless lyrically and the instrumental drowned her vocals. Anthology wise, it had been her most dance friendly track. It eventually peaked at #3 on the Hot 100.
Technically, her last song from the album, "Rehab" did have some success as it circulated on the music video circuit. However, the song isn't entirely memorable unless you or someone you know is a die-hard Rihanna fan.

After a "bonus follow-up" album, Good Girl Gone Bad: Reloaded and 2 more recognizable singles; "Take a Bow" and "Disturbia" ["Disturbia" being the better song of the 2], the GGGB era came to a close. By then her career had been at its highest point commercially. Her love life seemed like a stable and boring one when she and singer Chris Brown started dating.
Then one of the most sensationalizing and borderline tragic events happened in modern American pop culture; Chris assaulted Rihanna whilst leaving the pre-party for the Grammy Awards for that year. The photo TMZ released would be something of unwanted legendary status. The event displayed an ugly side to Chris that he hasn't been entirely able to shake off.

The dark aura around her lead to her most daring effort to date, Rated R. Another makeover of sorts happened as her look shifted to coincide with the dark aura of her personal life. The lead single released from the album, "Russian Roulette" and its music video was met with divisive reviews. Personally, I think it's one of Rihanna's best vocals on a song and the video was done masterfully. Despite the mixed reviews, the song peaked at #9 on the Hot 100.
That lead the charge of 4 recognizable songs from the album total. Next, "Hard" ft. Young Jeezy highlighted the grittier sex appeal Rihanna managed to fuse into her music at that point. Song wise, she had done much better up to then, but in retrospect it's a bright spot in her singles anthology. It would later peak at #8 on the Hot 100.
Her third major single from the album, "Rude Boy" would be her first #1 hit in years, but it was met with a little deserved derision. Lyrically, the song was praised for its honesty but also acted as reason to critique it; e.g. ...

"You like it boy,

I want want want

What you want want want.

Give it to me baby

Like boom boom boom."

(Holy eloquence, Sarcasta-man!)

The music video was also a little to reminiscent of "Boyz" by M.I.A. which had come out not that long ago at the time of release.

Finally, "Rockstar 101" would close out the Rated R era. Having guitar work from former Guns 'N Roses member Slash, the song would be another bright spot for her video and song wise but chart wise...while peaking at #2 on the Hot Dance Club charts, the song did dismal on the Hot 100, peaking at #64.

Cut to around late 2010, a hair dye to a vibrant cherry red and her effort, Loud. The album spawned 6 recognizable songs. The lead single, "Only Girl (in the World)" would be molded in the same style as "Don't Stop the Music" though the former dropkicks the latter down a fucking flight of stairs. Its music video was also a sight to behold (Especially when you spotted the O'Keefe sized flower and noticed all the hills were pink...O_O). The song would be another #1 single on the Hot 100.

Next, the song "What's My Name?" ft. Drake would also go to #1 on the Hot 100, but personally this song is just horrible. Although someone gets credit for a lyric most critics misinterpret...

"The square root of 69 is ate something, right?"

In its correctly written form, the lyric is just a crude reference to the oral act of 69; most critics write out the lyric like this...

"The square root of 69 is 8 something, right?"

Written like this, the lyric suggests oral sex but also that someone doesn't know how to use a fucking calculator.

Moving right along, the next major song released would be "S&M". The song would be another #1 song from the album, though this song was asking for a bit of shit when released.

First it is called "S&M"; meaning sadism and masochism ["S&M" named after French pervert, Marquis de Sade] and is a part of BDSM [Bondage Discipline and Sado Masochism]. Censors were sweating like Jan Brewer at a LULAC convention.

Second, the video was too raunchy to last forever on YouTube [it lives on VEVO where all the other good stuff resides] because Rihanna at one point in the video fellates a banana [meaning she pretends like she's sucking a dick] and is tied up in some wacky bullshit apparatus. Bonus points for her humiliating famed gossipy bitch, Perez Hilton and a cameo by future RuPaul's Drag Race first disqualified contestant and NewNowNext whorespondent, Willam.

However, despite the confession to slut-hood that is the song, it's actually meant to confront every aspect that makes her one of many W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I. but more on that later.

After that came the song "Man Down". It's memorable only because of needless controversy that stemmed from it [at one point a guy gets shot in the video]. It went to #9 on the R&B/Hip-Hop charts.

After that was the tacky ballad, "California King Bed". Recognizable? Kind of, but the song kind of did dismal peaking at #37 on the Hot 100. Finally, "Cheers (Drink to That)" closed out the Loud era. It peaked at #7 on the Hot 100 and annoyed me only because this is an example of Rihanna not trying.

Cut to her next effort, Talk That Talk. The album was more dance-friendly as opposed to the pop-friendly sounds of her past albums GGGB onward but before this effort. The lead single, "We Found Love" went to #1 on the Hot 100 and in a way made Calvin Harris a bigger noun in the music industry than he had been before. The video for it was met with derision regarding the drug use and the gritty sex parlayed in a bad way.

Then, "You da One" was released and peaked at #14 on the Hot 100. The video for the song was kind of...what's the term...crotch grabby? Yeah, she grabbed herself and had A Clockwork Orange realness going on makeup wise. O_O

Next, a collaborative effort with Jay-Z and title track "Talk That Talk" was released to mediocre chart success. It's an OK song, but she's done much better.

Finally her last recognizable song from the album, "Where Have You Been" was the other Calvin Harris produced song for Talk That Talk. Peaking at #5 on the Hot 100 was more than enough to say it ended on high note.

Cut past her much maligned acting debut in the much maligned movie Battleship, to her most recent effort the apropos Unapologetic. By now Rihanna has been living up to her lovable bad girl image [on and off relationship with Chris Brown; very blatant affection to weed and bitchslapping people on social media] and anything she did next was up for fifteen times the scrutiny.

The lead single from the album, "Diamonds" is a mid-tempo electronic pop ballad co-written by Sia [the one who sang on "Wild Ones" by Flo Rida and who's like an Australian version of Robyn.] I think it's one of her best songs ever, but the song was read to filth for its cover art and inferred meaning. The cover art is weed paper with tiny little diamonds in it; the inferred meaning is that she's high whilst smoking said joint with ecstasy [the inferred "diamonds"]. Considering Rihanna didn't write the song, I call bullshit on the inferred meaning theory of the song. The song peaked at #1 on the Hot 100.

The next major song released was "Stay" ft. Mikky Ekko. While one of her better showcases of singing ability, Ekko ruins the song for me. Still, it made history when this became her 24th Top 10 single beating Whitney Houston's record 23. The song peaked at #3 on the Hot 100 but went to #1 on the Pop Songs chart. By the way; the video for the song is pretty much Rihanna being vulnerable in a tub showing off her neck/upper back tattoo.

So after 7 albums, 10 number 1 singles and doing the "reinvent your image to be successful" thing what makes Rihanna one of many W.W.C.I.T.M.I.? Well, this is when I remind you of "S&M" and its actual intent to take on the elements of her complicated image. Like Beyoncé, Rihanna has been accused of being part of the illuminati [mainly 'cause of her connections to Bey and Jay-Z] something that was sprawled across the backdrop of her video for "S&M" [along with other headlines as "Red-headed slut who can't sing" along with other bullshit laden things]. The video also highlights her just as volatile relationship with the press and social media sites; e.g. an actual exchange between gossip site CELEBUZZ and her...

C: "Dear Rihanna, you've gone a little too far with this 'outfit' [link to their site RE: this] May be time to class it up and put some clothes on?"

R: "@CELEBUZZ your pussy is way too dry to be riding my dick like this."

*Fun fact! She also uses the words "bitch" and "c**t" very freely on Twitter (Remember; I don't use the word unless I'm talking about Ann Coulter)*

Her general aesthetic from her debut to now has also been under fire, but it is rather subjective. Pop stars are sort of expected to keep things interesting and for all the flaws Rihanna seems to have...bitch is self aware of these and has a cheeky sense of humor about it. Keep in mind; this is the only artist I've covered to have 7 real albums to her name (Sorry Christina Aguilera; no Christmas album or Spanish language album counts).

All in all, needless criticism of an image she perpetuates to fuck with people and sell albums with, justifies Rihanna's place as one of many W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I.

Next up, there's at least 1991 reasons this woman is one of many W.W.C.I.I.T.M.I.