A year has passed since I last wrote about the "controversial" rap sensation, Azealia Banks. Since then, Broke with Expensive Taste* saw a release in November of 2014 on her new label, Prospect Park and announcements were made confirming the intent to release the follow up to Fantasea known as Fantasea II: The Second Wave; an intended album called Business and Pleasure was given a tentative 2016 release date.
*BWET would debut and peak at #30 on the Billboard 200 and spawn the #12 Dance/Club hit, "Chasing Time"
Sadly, shit went left and as of July 20th, 2015 Banks announced via Twitter [the social media nectar and Achilles' Heel of Banks] that she was leaving Prospect Park**. This marks the 3rd (!) failed label attempt after XL Recordings didn't even entertain her music, Interscope Records having failed in promoting her music at all and now Prospect Park for reasons that aren't totally clear***
**According to Billboard.com, Prospect Park says "...she is still signed to the record label but will no longer be managed by the company." but that kind of means...nothing.
***When asked what label she could sign with, Banks was quoted on Twitter as saying, "Anybody really, I'm just looking for something with the least amount of strings attached."
Now some questions arise yet again about her future in music; Will Fantasea II: The Second Wave ever have the fortune of seeing a release? Is Business and Pleasure going to be scrapped? Are there more producers beside Machinedrum and Lone that are willing to work with Banks? Just what the hell is going on with labels and Azealia Banks?
First, it is not all that wise to write off nor fully endorse the idea that FII:TSW will see the light of day. The last known brief of the project was to continue the "mermaid" vibes from the original Fantasea. The only known single from FII:TSW, "Count Contessa", was not given the safety net of inclusion on BWET. It's most likely going to end up on the project, but at this rate it won't end up totally surprising if either the project will be diminished in scale or worse case scenario, scrapped.
Second, Business and Pleasure doesn't even have its iteration of "Count Contessa" to gauge Kunt Brigade interest in the project. For God's sake, a remix of "Ice Princess" from BWET was allegedly made but never released [and is more than likely scrapped with this latest label split]. So for now all BaP thoughts shall be regarded as mere speculation.
Third, the Machinedrum and Lone well doesn't seem like it's going to dry up. However, more producers did show themselves as willing to work with Banks on BWET. Lil' Internet and AraabMuzik are the most recognizable names alongside Machinedrum and Lone in terms of Banks friendly producers. There's a slim possibility that "Chasing Time" Remix Lab contest winner, Amorphous, will either have his remix appear on BaP or produce a new track for Banks****
****There's also the possibility of "Chasing Time" Remix Lab runner-up to 5th place contenders, Division 4, Chew Fu, pedrowl and Eyad Madani respectively making appearances on a a future Banks project.
Finally, the "Million Dollar Question"; what the hell is going on with labels and Azealia Banks? In this case, what attached strings did Azealia find with Prospect Park? This was the most fruitful relationship she's ever had with a label. BWET was released, she had her first single chart in the U.S. [on the Dance chart], played Coachella 2015 and even announced the project known as BaP*****
*****She's even playing the lead in the RZA directed movie, Coco, in which she plays an aspiring rapper type!
So what the hell happened? The best guess is that despite the better [than at least XL and Interscope] handling of Azealia's music, Prospect Park had failed to promote said music for U.S. radio. Way to drop the ball on someone who finally released her much anticipated debut album, played U.S. dates and even scored a film role.
A word of advice to the next label to swoop her up while the iron's hot; promote her music to U.S. radio. Start with "1991" and work your way to "Chasing Time". And a bit of advice for Azealia herself [regardless if she takes it or not]; stay. the FUCK. off. Twitter. Unless it's promoting the music, stay away from Twitter. PLEASE.
Now for a bit of fun, here's Complex Magazine's retelling on the split with this certain part of the article "translated"...[http://www.complex.com/music/2015/07/azealia-banks-leaves-prospect-park-records]
"...Banks Tweeted before adding, 'I want to make a super duper pop record. Like Disney style, but clever.'"
- Apparently, Complex does not get sarcasm on the first try.
All that can be said now is "Good Luck Azealia Banks!" and "Good Luck!" to the next label that signs her.
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
The Best "Lost" Giorgio Moroder Produced Donna Summer Songs EVER
In honor of legendary producer Giorgio Moroder's new album Deja Vu,* I feel it necessary to relay some of the best damn work he ever made with the 1970s Queen/Queen of Disco, the late Donna Summer.
(*If you decide to buy and/or stream Deja Vu, know that "Right Here, Right Now" ft. Kylie Minogue, "Tom's Diner" ft. Britney Spears and "Back and Forth" ft. Kelis are the good songs from that effort.)
What makes this list interesting is that all the songs from here are from the intended 1981 but delayed until 1996 released effort, I'm a Rainbow. After her first album with Geffen Records, The Wanderer, I'm a Rainbow was another Moroder/Summer double-disc album meant to follow up that. Geffen Records for reasons short of straight up asshole-ism, shelved the album and Summer eventually made Donna Summer with the help of Quincy Jones [This is the album that's home to "Love Is In Control (Finger on the Trigger)"].
Mercury Records eventually released I'm a Rainbow in North America and Japan in 1996 on a single-disc album. 6 of the songs were Moroder handled and 5 of them are on this list...
"To Turn The Stone"- Giorgio Moroder can make some Celtic adjacent vibes sound so goddamn pleasant with Summer's voice.
"Walk On (Keep On Movin')"- Nothing says a late 70s/early 80s made collaboration like Caribbean adjacent vibes set to a dance-pop arrangement.
"I Need Time"- Need proof that a Moroder track can be subtle while not screwing with Summer's vocals? Play this and enjoy the subtle (for Moroder) arrangement.
"Highway Runner"- Close your eyes and you'll swear this is where Lady Gaga got some vocal inspiration from. Tacking on some pop/rock elements to dance/pop seems like a recipe for soundclash, but thankfully it doesn't happen here.
"People Talk"- This should've been a single. Dance/pop enough to blend in with this new fakakta music scene called the 1980s and more redeemable than "The Wanderer" to have warranted a release. In all, Geffen Records fucked up by never releasing I'm a Rainbow in 1981.
[For the record, the sole Moroder cut left off of this list is called "Melanie"].
If you can track down a physical CD of I'm a Rainbow, I'm nicknaming you Jesus. If not, fret not; it's available on Spotify.
(*If you decide to buy and/or stream Deja Vu, know that "Right Here, Right Now" ft. Kylie Minogue, "Tom's Diner" ft. Britney Spears and "Back and Forth" ft. Kelis are the good songs from that effort.)
What makes this list interesting is that all the songs from here are from the intended 1981 but delayed until 1996 released effort, I'm a Rainbow. After her first album with Geffen Records, The Wanderer, I'm a Rainbow was another Moroder/Summer double-disc album meant to follow up that. Geffen Records for reasons short of straight up asshole-ism, shelved the album and Summer eventually made Donna Summer with the help of Quincy Jones [This is the album that's home to "Love Is In Control (Finger on the Trigger)"].
Mercury Records eventually released I'm a Rainbow in North America and Japan in 1996 on a single-disc album. 6 of the songs were Moroder handled and 5 of them are on this list...
"To Turn The Stone"- Giorgio Moroder can make some Celtic adjacent vibes sound so goddamn pleasant with Summer's voice.
"Walk On (Keep On Movin')"- Nothing says a late 70s/early 80s made collaboration like Caribbean adjacent vibes set to a dance-pop arrangement.
"I Need Time"- Need proof that a Moroder track can be subtle while not screwing with Summer's vocals? Play this and enjoy the subtle (for Moroder) arrangement.
"Highway Runner"- Close your eyes and you'll swear this is where Lady Gaga got some vocal inspiration from. Tacking on some pop/rock elements to dance/pop seems like a recipe for soundclash, but thankfully it doesn't happen here.
"People Talk"- This should've been a single. Dance/pop enough to blend in with this new fakakta music scene called the 1980s and more redeemable than "The Wanderer" to have warranted a release. In all, Geffen Records fucked up by never releasing I'm a Rainbow in 1981.
[For the record, the sole Moroder cut left off of this list is called "Melanie"].
If you can track down a physical CD of I'm a Rainbow, I'm nicknaming you Jesus. If not, fret not; it's available on Spotify.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
ALL MALE (Music) REVIEW Special: The Original High by Adam Lambert
As a special request from a Twitter friend of mine, @ImageFighter13, I will be reviewing Adam Lambert's allegedly much hyped 3rd album, The Original High. The reason it took this long for Lambert's 3rd album to see any kind of fruition, involves his last album Trespassing not being able to spawn hit singles (Not exactly what happened with For Your Entertainment either with only a #10 and a song that missed the Top 30...)
For his first album under Warner Bros., Lambert's direction is pretty much not Trespassing and an edgier For Your Entertainment. So far, "Ghost Town" has pretty much been declared dead on radio; and in the course of barely a month from the time of "Ghost Town" was released, 3 more songs were released from the album. Yes, it looks like no one else will be chasing The Original High.
Enough about the truth; let's get to reviewing this thing. Singing and vibe are pretty much the two biggest indicators I use to determine if something sucks or is actually good. Read my other reviews to get the idea.
For the purposes of this review, I'll be listening to the Deluxe version available on Spotify...
# of tracks- 14 (that's with the 3 bonus tracks on this deluxe version)
# of interludes - 0
Total time of album: roughly 50 minutes with the 3 bonus tracks
1. "Ghost Town"- Having done a review of this song, I'll pretty much reiterate my thoughts here. This is the second ever good song of his career. Even then, stupid lyrics and serviceable at best vocals from the most over-hyped male singer of the past 10 years make this a double edged sword experience.
Also, any vibes of Electro-Campfire-LSD-Pop in music needs to stop being a thing already.
2. "The Original High"- Oooooh; a song in which the artist wants "edge" or to "Breakaway"...wait. Didn't Kelly Clarkson do that but better than this and not on a third rate Street Fighter midi file instrumental?
3. "Another Lonely Night"- Before the chorus, there's an indiscernible production trick that sounds like a cow mooing. That's about the only interesting thing on this song. Other than that, there's uneven groove establishment and just poor emissions called vocals here.
4. "Underground"- The potions of the song that involve "velcro" sound more like a rejected Jason Derulo song. Even then, this is the 4th song in a row in which "I feel high" type lyrics make an appearance of some kind. Clearly, someone was high in the making of this album. In the end, it saves itself from sounding like a rejected Jason Derulo song but damns itself for sounding like a rejected Usher song from the mid 2000s.
5. "There I Said It"- At least the beginning portion involve serviceable balladry that like "Ghost Town" make it seem promising against the odds of it being handled by Adam Lambert. Then, some type of OneRepublic "Good Life" instrumental swagger-jacking occurs and that is more than problematic.
Prescient brownie points for me for getting one of the songs being a "double edged sword" experience; it wasn't "Ghost Town" but rather, this OneRepublic sounding reject of a song.
6. "Rumors" ft. Tove Lo- Some of the instrumental sounds like "Lollipop" by Lil' Wayne and the chorus is half-hearted swagger-jacking from Lindsay Lohan's failed attempt at pop stardom. The pre-chorus even tries to swagger-jack Rihanna's lesser cut "Pour it Up" in cadence. Even worse, some portion of the chorus swagger-jacks "Hot Sugar" by Tamar Braxton.
The lack of originality in this is palpable and loathsome.
7. "Evil in The Night"- A mediocre instrumental can't save this from the lyrics, "Razor-blade lips & daggers up in your eyes". Even then, a mediocre instrumental could've saved most of the songs to be reviewed by this point.
8. "Lucy" ft. Brian May- With attempted help with the Queen guitarist [Brian May, for those who may not know], this song does have something a cool guitar riff going for it. Then at some point the words, "girl got that rebel heart" escape from text to vocal emissions. Madonna reference much?*
*In pseudo context, "Ghost Town" was met with minor buzz for sharing the title with the Madonna song "Ghosttown". Lambert claims he didn't realize she had a song that sounds the same in title.
Translation: this minor buzz about the lead single is more interesting than lazy vocals over a wasted guitar riff.
9. "Things I Didn't Say"- I never wondered what a 4th rate David Guetta demo would sound like, but this track is apparently exceptional in answering this question.
10. "The Light"- Take the Beverly Hills Cop theme/scenes that include bits of the theme; subtract the charm of that film franchise add in some borderline cult-ish "I am the light" bullshit; multiply "fire" and "rain" references and here lies 3/4 of 90s dance music stereotypes.
11. "Heavy Fire"- This marks the 40th song on this 14 track album to mention something to the effect of "fire" and I have HAD it with this bullshit "creative direction" for this album. At one point, he sings "Give it to me/throw me some shade"; believe me, with an album this horrendous, you will have more shade on you than wandering through an elm forest at night.
12. "After Hours"- The plus about this bonus track? It's only 2 minutes and 44 seconds long.
13. "Shame"- At least the uptempo beat here isn't as cacophonous as the rest of the songs on this album. Then the song becomes a "sha-a-a-a-aaaaa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ame" to acknowledge with that cadence deficient noise.
14. "These Boys"- Closing out this "deluxe" album is the opening "Who you think you callin' stupid, stupid?" Whoever this "Slick Rick Runner" is, I want to go with him as means to escape this West Side Story Jets vs. Sharks adjacent fight mess set to an uptempo version of a Train song.
OVERALL Grade: D-
Let's make this abundantly clear. This is by far one of the worst albums I've ever listened to willingly (Fret not; this is the only time I've ever questioned a friendship). While "Ghost Town" is the best track here, the creative team simply created a dance-pop album for a glam rock act whose schtick wore thin with his second album.
"Ghost Town" is in reality the second Adam Lambert song that is truly good and that pales in comparison to "Whataya Want From Me".
In full, here's what Lambert and co. need to take hits for since they couldn't give a good hit on this album:
- 6 (!) instances of swagger-jacking; 4 of them being on one song! If you're going to fail, do it by yourself.
- Barely promoting "Ghost Town" for radio and then schlocking out 3 more singles in a month (two of them in the same day!) What the lemon-scented fuck is that about?!
- More references to fire than a fire safety instruction video.
At the very least, Adam Lambert fans [whoever they allegedly are], got an album from someone written off before 2011 so...Merry Christmas in June to you all. Now stay away from me.
For his first album under Warner Bros., Lambert's direction is pretty much not Trespassing and an edgier For Your Entertainment. So far, "Ghost Town" has pretty much been declared dead on radio; and in the course of barely a month from the time of "Ghost Town" was released, 3 more songs were released from the album. Yes, it looks like no one else will be chasing The Original High.
Enough about the truth; let's get to reviewing this thing. Singing and vibe are pretty much the two biggest indicators I use to determine if something sucks or is actually good. Read my other reviews to get the idea.
For the purposes of this review, I'll be listening to the Deluxe version available on Spotify...
# of tracks- 14 (that's with the 3 bonus tracks on this deluxe version)
# of interludes - 0
Total time of album: roughly 50 minutes with the 3 bonus tracks
1. "Ghost Town"- Having done a review of this song, I'll pretty much reiterate my thoughts here. This is the second ever good song of his career. Even then, stupid lyrics and serviceable at best vocals from the most over-hyped male singer of the past 10 years make this a double edged sword experience.
Also, any vibes of Electro-Campfire-LSD-Pop in music needs to stop being a thing already.
2. "The Original High"- Oooooh; a song in which the artist wants "edge" or to "Breakaway"...wait. Didn't Kelly Clarkson do that but better than this and not on a third rate Street Fighter midi file instrumental?
3. "Another Lonely Night"- Before the chorus, there's an indiscernible production trick that sounds like a cow mooing. That's about the only interesting thing on this song. Other than that, there's uneven groove establishment and just poor emissions called vocals here.
4. "Underground"- The potions of the song that involve "velcro" sound more like a rejected Jason Derulo song. Even then, this is the 4th song in a row in which "I feel high" type lyrics make an appearance of some kind. Clearly, someone was high in the making of this album. In the end, it saves itself from sounding like a rejected Jason Derulo song but damns itself for sounding like a rejected Usher song from the mid 2000s.
5. "There I Said It"- At least the beginning portion involve serviceable balladry that like "Ghost Town" make it seem promising against the odds of it being handled by Adam Lambert. Then, some type of OneRepublic "Good Life" instrumental swagger-jacking occurs and that is more than problematic.
Prescient brownie points for me for getting one of the songs being a "double edged sword" experience; it wasn't "Ghost Town" but rather, this OneRepublic sounding reject of a song.
6. "Rumors" ft. Tove Lo- Some of the instrumental sounds like "Lollipop" by Lil' Wayne and the chorus is half-hearted swagger-jacking from Lindsay Lohan's failed attempt at pop stardom. The pre-chorus even tries to swagger-jack Rihanna's lesser cut "Pour it Up" in cadence. Even worse, some portion of the chorus swagger-jacks "Hot Sugar" by Tamar Braxton.
The lack of originality in this is palpable and loathsome.
7. "Evil in The Night"- A mediocre instrumental can't save this from the lyrics, "Razor-blade lips & daggers up in your eyes". Even then, a mediocre instrumental could've saved most of the songs to be reviewed by this point.
8. "Lucy" ft. Brian May- With attempted help with the Queen guitarist [Brian May, for those who may not know], this song does have something a cool guitar riff going for it. Then at some point the words, "girl got that rebel heart" escape from text to vocal emissions. Madonna reference much?*
*In pseudo context, "Ghost Town" was met with minor buzz for sharing the title with the Madonna song "Ghosttown". Lambert claims he didn't realize she had a song that sounds the same in title.
Translation: this minor buzz about the lead single is more interesting than lazy vocals over a wasted guitar riff.
9. "Things I Didn't Say"- I never wondered what a 4th rate David Guetta demo would sound like, but this track is apparently exceptional in answering this question.
10. "The Light"- Take the Beverly Hills Cop theme/scenes that include bits of the theme; subtract the charm of that film franchise add in some borderline cult-ish "I am the light" bullshit; multiply "fire" and "rain" references and here lies 3/4 of 90s dance music stereotypes.
11. "Heavy Fire"- This marks the 40th song on this 14 track album to mention something to the effect of "fire" and I have HAD it with this bullshit "creative direction" for this album. At one point, he sings "Give it to me/throw me some shade"; believe me, with an album this horrendous, you will have more shade on you than wandering through an elm forest at night.
12. "After Hours"- The plus about this bonus track? It's only 2 minutes and 44 seconds long.
13. "Shame"- At least the uptempo beat here isn't as cacophonous as the rest of the songs on this album. Then the song becomes a "sha-a-a-a-aaaaa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ame" to acknowledge with that cadence deficient noise.
14. "These Boys"- Closing out this "deluxe" album is the opening "Who you think you callin' stupid, stupid?" Whoever this "Slick Rick Runner" is, I want to go with him as means to escape this West Side Story Jets vs. Sharks adjacent fight mess set to an uptempo version of a Train song.
OVERALL Grade: D-
Let's make this abundantly clear. This is by far one of the worst albums I've ever listened to willingly (Fret not; this is the only time I've ever questioned a friendship). While "Ghost Town" is the best track here, the creative team simply created a dance-pop album for a glam rock act whose schtick wore thin with his second album.
"Ghost Town" is in reality the second Adam Lambert song that is truly good and that pales in comparison to "Whataya Want From Me".
In full, here's what Lambert and co. need to take hits for since they couldn't give a good hit on this album:
- 6 (!) instances of swagger-jacking; 4 of them being on one song! If you're going to fail, do it by yourself.
- Barely promoting "Ghost Town" for radio and then schlocking out 3 more singles in a month (two of them in the same day!) What the lemon-scented fuck is that about?!
- More references to fire than a fire safety instruction video.
At the very least, Adam Lambert fans [whoever they allegedly are], got an album from someone written off before 2011 so...Merry Christmas in June to you all. Now stay away from me.
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Katharine McPhee NEEDS TO STOP
As I was lollygagging on the internet, I stumbled upon awfulness from a former American Idol runner-up...but not just any former runner-up; it's the one who lost to Taylor Hicks...Katharine McPhee.
Yes, it appears the one who spawned "McPheever" is apparently back in an attempt to spread her contagion of 3rd tier Bonnie McKee style pop music (Bonnie McKee of course being the 3rd rate Katy Perry because more people have heard of Neon Hitch.) to the masses as opposed to the hall of mirrors she's used to performing in.
The stunt she pulled is in the form of a song called "Lick My Lips" from her 4th collective and 3rd "proper" album, Hysteria (which more or less is slated to go Bus Pass on Tidal). With a running time of 2:35, the nicest thing I can say about this is that it's showing Meghan Trainor that a pop song can be WAY shorter than hers.
As for what the video/song entails? Here's a list of things WRONG with the "effort":
- Mixing pop star tropes of 50s chic, leather/pleather sex monster and food as sex visuals to a clusterfuck effect [on a good day].
- Having the aesthetic of diluted Lana Del Rey's H&M ads, Amy Winehouse for Halloween costume in a bag and Charlotte "was she really famous in the States at all?" Church's "pleather" days and thinking it was a good idea.
- Dead eyes on the lead (At least pretend YOU like your song and video).
- Having the "nonchalant" brief of the video extras and love interest read as "I would rather be passing a rock formation through my urethra than do this shit".
Apart from those things, the video was also run amok by giant fucking combs. Seriously; the oversized dessert props were one thing, but the combs in this video must've bathed in HGH for at least a month.
So the $1,000,000 question here is, why is Katharine McPhee doing this? Apparently, she wants to distract us from the fact that with the maybe exception of the CBS show, Scorpion, her side hustle of acting has essentially been a near utter disaster. Smash did nothing for her as did anything else you can bother to look up on Wikipedia on your own time.
With a song that sucks, video that's atrocious and an attempt to resurrect a long since dead music career, Katharine...YOU NEED TO STOP...
- Before you're certified Chinet Compartment Trays on the iHeartRadio app.
- Before you make Taylor Hicks look like Taylor Swift in album sales.
- Before you're certified Candies Wooden Soles in pre-order sales...please. STOP. immediately.
It's for our and your own good.
Don't believe the level of suck/fail this emits? I warned you; the video is below...
Yes, it appears the one who spawned "McPheever" is apparently back in an attempt to spread her contagion of 3rd tier Bonnie McKee style pop music (Bonnie McKee of course being the 3rd rate Katy Perry because more people have heard of Neon Hitch.) to the masses as opposed to the hall of mirrors she's used to performing in.
The stunt she pulled is in the form of a song called "Lick My Lips" from her 4th collective and 3rd "proper" album, Hysteria (which more or less is slated to go Bus Pass on Tidal). With a running time of 2:35, the nicest thing I can say about this is that it's showing Meghan Trainor that a pop song can be WAY shorter than hers.
As for what the video/song entails? Here's a list of things WRONG with the "effort":
- Mixing pop star tropes of 50s chic, leather/pleather sex monster and food as sex visuals to a clusterfuck effect [on a good day].
- Having the aesthetic of diluted Lana Del Rey's H&M ads, Amy Winehouse for Halloween costume in a bag and Charlotte "was she really famous in the States at all?" Church's "pleather" days and thinking it was a good idea.
- Dead eyes on the lead (At least pretend YOU like your song and video).
- Having the "nonchalant" brief of the video extras and love interest read as "I would rather be passing a rock formation through my urethra than do this shit".
Apart from those things, the video was also run amok by giant fucking combs. Seriously; the oversized dessert props were one thing, but the combs in this video must've bathed in HGH for at least a month.
So the $1,000,000 question here is, why is Katharine McPhee doing this? Apparently, she wants to distract us from the fact that with the maybe exception of the CBS show, Scorpion, her side hustle of acting has essentially been a near utter disaster. Smash did nothing for her as did anything else you can bother to look up on Wikipedia on your own time.
With a song that sucks, video that's atrocious and an attempt to resurrect a long since dead music career, Katharine...YOU NEED TO STOP...
- Before you're certified Chinet Compartment Trays on the iHeartRadio app.
- Before you make Taylor Hicks look like Taylor Swift in album sales.
- Before you're certified Candies Wooden Soles in pre-order sales...please. STOP. immediately.
It's for our and your own good.
Don't believe the level of suck/fail this emits? I warned you; the video is below...
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
The Voice S8: FINALE (Part II)
Now to find out in the last 5 minutes of the show just how much Sawyer ran away with a title he doesn't deserve.
Before that, here are some thoughts on how they occupied time to get there...
The Top 20 gave a fun. tribute...literally; they sang songs by the Nate Ruess led band.
Joshua and his bring back performance people were Deanna Johnson (YAY), Brian Johnson, Corey Kent White and that Kimberly Nichole noun. They ended up singing "She Talks to Angels" by The Black Crows.
*filler*...
Meghan Trainor sounded great live with "Dear Future Husband". Probably a first for her, but I'm happy.
Koryn & Kelly Clarkson sounded great together.
Meghan brought back Sarah Potenza...seriously; only one person? Screw off. They sang "Piece of My Heart" by Janis Joplin.
Maroon 5 debuted their terrible song, "This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like a Motherfucker". Seriously, the alleged lyrics make it seem like a 12 year old with vague knowledge of Instagram behavior "wrote" this with a crayon.
Sheryl Crow performed with Joshua and they seemed to fit as a musical pair. Safe choices nowadays with not much but earnest demeanors and a smile to their names.
*filler in the form of Luke Bryan*
Koryn brought back Caitlin Caporale AND India Carney [Lexi Davila, Mia Z and Tonya Boyd-Cannon too] for a performance of "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson/Bruno Mars.
*filler in the form of Ed Sheeran*
Kelly Clarkson performed again with Meghan on Kelly's song "Invincible".
Sawyer brought back Brooke Adee, Mia Z and Lowell Oakley..."great" choices...
NOW WE LEARN THE RESULTS -_-
4th place: Koryn of Team Pharrell. ONCE AGAIN, my favorite loses.
3rd place: Joshua Davis of Team Adam. More than I expected.
Runner-up: Meghan Linsey of Team Blake.
The Voice, S8: Sawyer of Team Pharrell. ABOLISH iTunes voting NOW.
At least a coach not named Adam or Blake won, so there's something good after all. Whatever.
Well that wraps up S8. I'll probably be back for S9 because American Idol is announced as dead in 2016 and that The Voice is the last of the apparent dying breed of the singing competition show. You've had 8 seasons to make a Kelly Clarkson and you've fucked it up 8 times, y'all.
Maybe see you for S9.
Before that, here are some thoughts on how they occupied time to get there...
The Top 20 gave a fun. tribute...literally; they sang songs by the Nate Ruess led band.
Joshua and his bring back performance people were Deanna Johnson (YAY), Brian Johnson, Corey Kent White and that Kimberly Nichole noun. They ended up singing "She Talks to Angels" by The Black Crows.
*filler*...
Meghan Trainor sounded great live with "Dear Future Husband". Probably a first for her, but I'm happy.
Koryn & Kelly Clarkson sounded great together.
Meghan brought back Sarah Potenza...seriously; only one person? Screw off. They sang "Piece of My Heart" by Janis Joplin.
Maroon 5 debuted their terrible song, "This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like a Motherfucker". Seriously, the alleged lyrics make it seem like a 12 year old with vague knowledge of Instagram behavior "wrote" this with a crayon.
Sheryl Crow performed with Joshua and they seemed to fit as a musical pair. Safe choices nowadays with not much but earnest demeanors and a smile to their names.
*filler in the form of Luke Bryan*
Koryn brought back Caitlin Caporale AND India Carney [Lexi Davila, Mia Z and Tonya Boyd-Cannon too] for a performance of "Uptown Funk" by Mark Ronson/Bruno Mars.
*filler in the form of Ed Sheeran*
Kelly Clarkson performed again with Meghan on Kelly's song "Invincible".
Sawyer brought back Brooke Adee, Mia Z and Lowell Oakley..."great" choices...
NOW WE LEARN THE RESULTS -_-
4th place: Koryn of Team Pharrell. ONCE AGAIN, my favorite loses.
3rd place: Joshua Davis of Team Adam. More than I expected.
Runner-up: Meghan Linsey of Team Blake.
The Voice, S8: Sawyer of Team Pharrell. ABOLISH iTunes voting NOW.
At least a coach not named Adam or Blake won, so there's something good after all. Whatever.
Well that wraps up S8. I'll probably be back for S9 because American Idol is announced as dead in 2016 and that The Voice is the last of the apparent dying breed of the singing competition show. You've had 8 seasons to make a Kelly Clarkson and you've fucked it up 8 times, y'all.
Maybe see you for S9.
Monday, May 18, 2015
The Voice S8: FINALE (Part I)
The end of S8 of the NBC Program with Ratings couldn't come fast enough. Seriously; despite Koryn Hawthorne making the finale (which congratulations on doing such a thing, gurl), the show's voting is cumulative...with an iTunes voting bonus...of which since its Live Shows (Week 2 of real competition) onwards, Sawyer has 7 iTunes bonuses. -_-
I'd encourage people who vote like I do (in terms of talent and not thinking "He's so cute and plays the acoustic guitar & THAT'S real music.") but it's fucking pointless. Screwing with the voting for fun would do nothing. Just know iTunes voting block; you all are fucking idiots who don't have taste and are the reason music is suffering from a dearth of creative/unique talent breaking through.
So tonight and tomorrow's recap will simply be reposting the shadiest things I said on Twitter. I mean...I'm going to be disgusted with the show's outcome because it's the EIGHTH season in which I didn't vote for the winner for liking them; Craig Wayne Boyd got my votes because I despised Team Adam for S7 (OK, my mental gymnastics had me think this was a Team Gwen co-sign).
So here's my shadiest nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and FlirtCruiting about Joshua, Sawyer and the Coaches...OK some recapping too...
I'd encourage people who vote like I do (in terms of talent and not thinking "He's so cute and plays the acoustic guitar & THAT'S real music.") but it's fucking pointless. Screwing with the voting for fun would do nothing. Just know iTunes voting block; you all are fucking idiots who don't have taste and are the reason music is suffering from a dearth of creative/unique talent breaking through.
So tonight and tomorrow's recap will simply be reposting the shadiest things I said on Twitter. I mean...I'm going to be disgusted with the show's outcome because it's the EIGHTH season in which I didn't vote for the winner for liking them; Craig Wayne Boyd got my votes because I despised Team Adam for S7 (OK, my mental gymnastics had me think this was a Team Gwen co-sign).
So here's my shadiest nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and FlirtCruiting about Joshua, Sawyer and the Coaches...OK some recapping too...
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
The Voice S8: To Come So Far...
Like a good person, I know everyone wants a quickie.
So are the two good contestants of Season 8, India Carney and Koryn Hawthorne still in the competition?
NO...well Koryn's still here which I'm not mad at...
India and Koryn were in the Bottom 2 and it was horrible having to choose. I chose India and instead Koryn went through. I'm not too mad at any Team Koryn person. It's the bitter Kimberly Nichole fans I'll blame for this.
You see, when she went home it should've been a moment where the Team Xtina standom were to unite to have their coach have a chance at winning a season. Instead, like the critics with Kimberly, they could never like India and decided Xtina should lose because we Team India people kept winning fair and square.
Team Adam blind loyalists, Sawyer Fredericks fans and Voice critics are some of the people I choose to blame for this. Don't worry; I can help craft revenge just fine...just look at who won S7. [SIDE NOTE: Craig Wayne Boyd was featured in a Nissan commercial tonight which is sad if you consider that's the most airplay a Voice winner has ever had].
I'll let Meghan Linsey slide on this. I've already repented for my bitter tongue against her.
That aside, it's time for a simple but lethal form of shade known as a Haiku Diss. It's essentially shit talking in poetry and will describe the ones on the show that I ever so loathe:
Sawyer's Haiku Diss(es):
All he is, is why
NO ONE with iTunes access
should vote for The Voice.
White kid with guitar
a huge artistic black hole
"but he's so cute right?" -_- [sarcasm face on FLEEK]
Pharrell might win this
but at a terrible cost;
Sawyer's now a thing.
All the voters did
was say "Underdeveloped
singing is OK".
Joshua's Haiku Diss(es):
Why need sleeping aides
when Joshua's a living
NyQuil PM dose?
He is a hybrid
of Simon and Garfunkel with
even less talent.
Good for Adam that
Joshua squeaked through based on
such blind loyalty.
The wrong underdog
that got to The Voice finals;
Screw "Team Adam" stans.
With that out of my system, I encourage voting activity for Koryn Hawthorne & Meghan Linsey. Spite for Sawyer at all costs.
Look for me next week for Koryn's segment...
So are the two good contestants of Season 8, India Carney and Koryn Hawthorne still in the competition?
NO...well Koryn's still here which I'm not mad at...
India and Koryn were in the Bottom 2 and it was horrible having to choose. I chose India and instead Koryn went through. I'm not too mad at any Team Koryn person. It's the bitter Kimberly Nichole fans I'll blame for this.
You see, when she went home it should've been a moment where the Team Xtina standom were to unite to have their coach have a chance at winning a season. Instead, like the critics with Kimberly, they could never like India and decided Xtina should lose because we Team India people kept winning fair and square.
Team Adam blind loyalists, Sawyer Fredericks fans and Voice critics are some of the people I choose to blame for this. Don't worry; I can help craft revenge just fine...just look at who won S7. [SIDE NOTE: Craig Wayne Boyd was featured in a Nissan commercial tonight which is sad if you consider that's the most airplay a Voice winner has ever had].
I'll let Meghan Linsey slide on this. I've already repented for my bitter tongue against her.
That aside, it's time for a simple but lethal form of shade known as a Haiku Diss. It's essentially shit talking in poetry and will describe the ones on the show that I ever so loathe:
Sawyer's Haiku Diss(es):
All he is, is why
NO ONE with iTunes access
should vote for The Voice.
White kid with guitar
a huge artistic black hole
"but he's so cute right?" -_- [sarcasm face on FLEEK]
Pharrell might win this
but at a terrible cost;
Sawyer's now a thing.
All the voters did
was say "Underdeveloped
singing is OK".
Joshua's Haiku Diss(es):
Why need sleeping aides
when Joshua's a living
NyQuil PM dose?
He is a hybrid
of Simon and Garfunkel with
even less talent.
Good for Adam that
Joshua squeaked through based on
such blind loyalty.
The wrong underdog
that got to The Voice finals;
Screw "Team Adam" stans.
With that out of my system, I encourage voting activity for Koryn Hawthorne & Meghan Linsey. Spite for Sawyer at all costs.
Look for me next week for Koryn's segment...
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