Monday, May 18, 2015

The Voice S8: FINALE (Part I)

The end of S8 of the NBC Program with Ratings couldn't come fast enough. Seriously; despite Koryn Hawthorne making the finale (which congratulations on doing such a thing, gurl), the show's voting is cumulative...with an iTunes voting bonus...of which since its Live Shows (Week 2 of real competition) onwards, Sawyer has 7 iTunes bonuses. -_-

I'd encourage people who vote like I do (in terms of talent and not thinking "He's so cute and plays the acoustic guitar & THAT'S real music.") but it's fucking pointless. Screwing with the voting for fun would do nothing. Just know iTunes voting block; you all are fucking idiots who don't have taste and are the reason music is suffering from a dearth of creative/unique talent breaking through.

So tonight and tomorrow's recap will simply be reposting the shadiest things I said on Twitter. I mean...I'm going to be disgusted with the show's outcome because it's the EIGHTH season in which I didn't vote for the winner for liking them; Craig Wayne Boyd got my votes because I despised Team Adam for S7 (OK, my mental gymnastics had me think this was a Team Gwen co-sign).

So here's my shadiest nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and FlirtCruiting about Joshua, Sawyer and the Coaches...OK some recapping too...

Koryn's retrospective journey on The Voice said; "OMG UR 17 BUT SOOOOO ~ Mature ~." She performed "It's a Man's, Man's, Man's World" by James Brown. She has the soulfulness and talent Sawyer so desperately needs ("But not iTunes sales and those matter." SHUT. UP. iTunes ain't shit.) but a certain set design choice got my attention...

"Why the fuck is there a GIANT DISCO BALL for this song? Seriously, at least give Koryn a proper chance. #TheVoice"

Meghan Linsey then debuted an original song that the finalists this year get [like last year], called "Change My Mind". She happened to write the song based on a bad relationship 'n stuff in hopes of inspiring women to not take shit from a bad relationship.
Come showtime, the song exuded Pop/R&B vibes which was the closest Meghan had EVER gotten to Soul so I took what I could get from it. The song itself is actually pretty good (Especially considering The Voice original song standards. O_O).

Pharrell and Whatshishat performed the soft rock goldmine song "Summer Breeze". Pharrell as usual, sounded unique. Other than that, insignificance and a terrible contestant occupied space.

Joshua Davis debuted his new song called "The Working Man's Hymn". -_- That and his singing made me think this...

"So his original song is a John Mellencamp/Bruce Springsteen knockoff? KEWL #TheVoice"

Other than that, not much to say about this.

Whatshishat was sent a song by someone named Ray LaMontagne. His songs have been performed on the show in the past, but still to this one knows who he is. The song is called "Please" and good for him in a way for getting someone barely famous to send you a song.

Koryn returned to perform with Pharrell on "We Can Work It Out". Those two were funky and I approve.

Joshua's journey is the result of Team Homey-Hopping turned Team Adam stans' BLIND LOYALTY. For whatever reason, he thought we'd want to hear "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen for the UMPTEENTH time. Set design caught my eye again for another wrong reason...

"Look at that IUD/NuvaRing behind Joshua Davis right now. SMH #TheVoice #VoiceFinale"

Meghan and Blake took the stage to perform the less ubiquitously known Aretha Franklin song "Freeway of Love". Not the weirdest thing to ever happen on this there's that.

Then, Joshua and Adam performed some Paul Simon song; because if you want your contestant to look marketable in today's industry Paul Simon is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo who you should be singing in public -_-.

Koryn then performed her new song "Bright Fire". Upon first listen by "studio" footage I was worried. It gave "Baby Don't Lie" by Gwen Stefani realness and that was a problem. Come showtime, stage presence was her BFFL/Best Friend For Life/Burger French-Fry Lemonade.

Meghan's journey is from Steel Magnolia to The Voice to "Soul" trying to mix with "Country". She's then assigned "When a Man Loves a Woman" by Percy Sledge...-_- WHY THIS SONG? It's one of the ones that CAN'T. FUCKING. DIE.
Come showtime, she was decent but her original song was better.

Sawyer's tenure on the show: overpraise, iTunes bonuses from people whose music taste is lurid and never being told to do anything. Seriously, out of all the contestants to NEVER get critiqued, his "free pass" for existing is the most irritating of all.
Oh...he did a song...good for him, I guess.

All in all, S8 is narrowly better than that dearth known as S7.

Up next for scrutiny, The Finale Results show...

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