Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The Voice S8: To Come So Far...

Like a good person, I know everyone wants a quickie.

So are the two good contestants of Season 8, India Carney and Koryn Hawthorne still in the competition?

NO...well Koryn's still here which I'm not mad at...

India and Koryn were in the Bottom 2 and it was horrible having to choose. I chose India and instead Koryn went through. I'm not too mad at any Team Koryn person. It's the bitter Kimberly Nichole fans I'll blame for this.

You see, when she went home it should've been a moment where the Team Xtina standom were to unite to have their coach have a chance at winning a season. Instead, like the critics with Kimberly, they could never like India and decided Xtina should lose because we Team India people kept winning fair and square.

Team Adam blind loyalists, Sawyer Fredericks fans and Voice critics are some of the people I choose to blame for this. Don't worry; I can help craft revenge just fine...just look at who won S7. [SIDE NOTE: Craig Wayne Boyd was featured in a Nissan commercial tonight which is sad if you consider that's the most airplay a Voice winner has ever had].

I'll let Meghan Linsey slide on this. I've already repented for my bitter tongue against her.

That aside, it's time for a simple but lethal form of shade known as a Haiku Diss. It's essentially shit talking in poetry and will describe the ones on the show that I ever so loathe:

Sawyer's Haiku Diss(es):

All he is, is why
NO ONE with iTunes access
should vote for The Voice.

White kid with guitar
a huge artistic black hole
"but he's so cute right?" -_- [sarcasm face on FLEEK]

Pharrell might win this
but at a terrible cost;
Sawyer's now a thing.

All the voters did
was say "Underdeveloped
singing is OK".

Joshua's Haiku Diss(es):

Why need sleeping aides
when Joshua's a living
NyQuil PM dose?

He is a hybrid
of Simon and Garfunkel with
even less talent.

Good for Adam that
Joshua squeaked through based on
such blind loyalty.

The wrong underdog
that got to The Voice finals;
Screw "Team Adam" stans.

With that out of my system, I encourage voting activity for Koryn Hawthorne & Meghan Linsey. Spite for Sawyer at all costs.

Look for me next week for Koryn's segment...

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