[The Azealia Banks motif continues for tonight's episode recap title. This is when the song title is first uttered in "212".]
Picking up where last night left off, Adam, Shakira, Usher and Blake continued on the pre-recorded quest of finding people they deemed worthy enough to mentor on the NBC program with ratings (RIP to the upcoming series About a Boy). These are the marklar, gerunds, nouns and pronouns that transpired...[SPOILER; some humans make the show...sexual tension between Mr. and Mr. "Shevine" will be parlayed...Usher's afro will be adorable and Shaki will have an accent. Sorry 'bout it.]
Let's play rough and get it on!
First up for scrutiny, S5 reject Delvin Choice. He had the stupid style of hair and still does. He came back after being told to pick a song that suited his singing style. He auditioned with "A Song for You" by Donny Hathaway. 3 chairs turned within the the first verse of the song. Thank God for improvement because he actually had it. Yet he was not an all chair improvement.Sorry but he wasn't. After the coaches fought for him like Sasha Allen from S4 [for whatever reason], Delvin remembered Adam was the one who told him to pick a different song and chose him to be his coach. Congrats but get that lobster hair some "bay butter & a boiling pot" and get rid of it.
Second of the night, Madilyn Paige. She auditions with a slower version of "Titanium" by David Guetta ft. Sia. The cadence seemed a little too subdued, but her singing was rather pleasant. Usher and Shaki turn for her thinking she was smart for the slight pacing switch up. Shaki was all "Girl Power" like she was the Colombian Spice Girls or something. Usher makes vague reference to who he worked with [He Who Inspired Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber]. She ended up picking Usher to be her coach. She is someone to keep an eye on. Younguns tend to do better than expected on the show.
Third, Noah Lis who is of the white guy who sings soul cloth. At least he has taste in music. He auditions with "Me and Mrs. Jones" O_O Do you know how much sin has to be evoked singing that? He ends up sounding like a more scumbag and less talented version of James Wolpert from last year. He almost was a reject until Mr. and Mr. Shevine turn for him. I don't know why and he ends up going with Blake to be his coach. Seriously, I can't with Noah. I can't. The "standards" are one thing, but I can't. I just can't.
Fourth up to Shanghai their dreams into submission, Keith Shuskie. That mustache is inexcusable (He and Delvin need a makeover, immediately.) He auditions with "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. The coaches sensed his pitch issue ridden voice (And facial hair) and Keith was the reject of the night. The coaches grant mercy on him and Shaki even asks him to sing acapella "Somebody to Love" by Queen. 2 things...
1. You don't turn around for him. Why the hell do you think his singing would improve when you see him?
2. This is Cody Belew's song. Back the fuck up if you ain't him.
Take your mustache and kick rocks, gurl. BYE!
Fifth tried in the Court of Public Opinion, Deja Hall. She happens to be from San Antonio, TX [where I'm from]. She auditions with "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper. Her skills for a youngun are actually impressive (Anything that makes up for Diego Roman Navaira). It's right where anyone can think "That 16 year old can sing rather well." All but Adam turned but he wanted higher notes from her. I kind of understand, but I'm a touch more merciful on younguns that can actually sing for their age. After the coaches give their selling points, she picks Shakira as her coach.
Finally, Cary Laine. I smelled country-bait from the minute Carson Daly's voice-over said her name. She's a country girl lookin' for that fella called opportunity. She auditions with "Better Dig Two". Country bait did catch Blake's attention but Adam and the rest turned too; Adam before Blake! Chairs were sat in and all sorts of romper room fuckery commences. Why they turned for her, I have no goddamn clue. She eventually picks Adam to be her coach. That was honestly shocking. But it proves Cassadee is no good selling point. YAY!
All in all, there is something to be said about contestants that make it on the show. Subjective things about their place and about the sanity of their coach and/or mentor(s).
Up next for scrutiny, Part III of the Blind Auditions.
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