[Let's just say out of the final 3 left, these last two episodes aren't worthy of a pun worthy title.]
Well, it's a matter of time before Adam, Usher or Blake will have their last contestant win S6 of the NBC show with ratings (Sorry Shakira, but that's what you get for getting rid of Clarissa Serna and Deja Hall for Dani Moz.) Tonight will determine if Blake gets a 4th win overall, Adam a 3rd win overall or if Usher will be the first non Shevine related coach to win. These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, fuckery, trickery, dickery, dock and marklar that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on! *Editor's note: All but Josh are reprising their Blind Audition songs. Josh will reprise his Battles Round II song which he lost to Delvin Choice.*
First, The Grimmie Reaper of Team Adam singing “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus, her Blind Audition song. Come showtime, she sounded twice as bad than when she first sang it. At least Charlotte's Web was featured as a set piece *shaaaaaaaaaaaaaade* At least Adam picked a look that suited his ill-advised blonde hair; it's very Marlon Brando meets Ryan Gosling through an Instagram filter realness. Coach's Corner was all, "You are a winner regardless! ***Flawless like Beysus! T_T"
Second, Josh Kaufman of Team Usher singing “Every Breath You Take” by The Police as a duet with Usher. Come showtime, Usher sounded amazing while Josh managed to sound creepier than Sting on this song (And keep in mind, this song exudes stalker-like behavior O_O). I should finish by clocking the crip/Garden State bullshit Josh's outfit had on the left shoulder, but I'll only say, Usher was amazing. Coach's Corner is not around for duets, just to assure that critique can never be on the show.
Third, Jake Worthington of Team Blake singing “Don’t Close Your Eyes” by Keith Whitley, his Blind Audition. Come showtime, he possessed the clean but still gravy-sweating country that I personally can't stomach. I might be from Texas but I am no stereotype. Still, Jake is charismatic when not singing so there's that. Coach's Corner was all, "You are a winner regardless! ***Flawless like Beysus! T_T" Oh and Fun Fact: Shakira wants to squeeze him for being cute. *You just got learned*
Shaki and Blake performed the duet they recorded for her most recent release Shakira, "Medicine". I was wondering if there was any to help with the chorus stuttering. All T, All Shade.
At it again, Josh Kaufman of Team Usher singing “Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours” by Stevie Wonder; the song that Delvin Choice defeated him cleanly on but Usher decided to steal him on. Come showtime, I remembered why Delvin won. This song is so not for him. There's only hoping that the Hobbit community does not revolt against the show, but that's something different. Coach's Corner was all, "You are a winner regardless! ***Flawless like Beysus! T_T"
Second in this round, The Grimmie Reaper of Team Adam singing “Somebody That I Used to Know” by Gotye ft. Kimbra as a duet with Adam. Come showtime, Adam was the highlight...mainly due to the fact he dyed his hair blonde weeks ago; OK I can't stand the blonde hair and never have. It was an impulse move that should never have happened. Other than that, it's another performance I don't care about because I have nobody I like left in the competition.
Third in this round, Jake Worthington of Team Blake singing “Right Here Waiting” by Richard Marx. Come showtime, it was snooze-worthy. As much as he has emotional connect, this is reminiscent of Kewpie Doll from S4; boring but tries hard...and doesn't get a single vote from me. Coach's Corner was all, "You are a winner regardless! ***Flawless like Beysus! T_T"
Adam and Usher then proceeded to sing "Untitled (How Does it Feel)" by D'Angelo...O_O WOW. Interesting to say the least.
Closing out their tenure, Jake Worthington of Team Blake singing “A Country Boy Can Survive” by Hank Williams as a duet with Blake. Come showtime, they sounded country. If you're into that sort of thing, fantastic. Yet, I can't help but think somewhere, there's at least someone offended by the whiskey barrels in the background; not just for perpetuating alcoholism being a Southern thing, but at the sheer tackiness of the props.
Closing out their tenure second, The Grimmie Reaper of Team Adam singing “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley. Come showtime, I felt bad for Elvis Presley fans *shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade*. There's a bad feeling either she or Josh could win. Personally I want people to vote for Cee-Lo's animals as the winner of the show. Coach's Corner was all, "You are a winner regardless! ***Flawless like Beysus! T_T"
Closing S6, Josh Kaufman of Team Usher singing “Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele. Come showtime, I thought he sucked but knew the coaches would exploit Adam's discerning for talent in the moment in the Knockoffs by picking Delvin...ugh; Josh Kaufman is awful. The Final 3 are awful and shit, I'm just done with this season. Coach's Corner was all, "You are a winner regardless! ***Flawless like Beysus! T_T"
All in all, at least some of the contestants I like are returning tomorrow. What the fuck ever as to who wins. 0 for 6 winners I like. (The record is alive, y'all -_-)
Up next for scrutiny, the Finale of S6.