Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Voice S7: Birthday Cake

[Tonight's recap title is inspired by the failed Rihanna track of the same name and signifying the fact I'm another year older, bitches.]

Tonight marks the final round of battles on the NBC program with ratings. See what final poor decisions and montages will come from a Tuesday one hour episode (Because that bitch from Happy Endings sooooo needs a spinoff show. -_-) These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and FlirtCruiting that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First, Brittany Butler vs. Ricky Manning of Team Pharrell. They were assigned "On Broadway" by George Benson. Rehearsals indicate Brittany's jazz style is something of a hindrance unless she can apply it to the song. Ricky comes to a personal revelation that he relates to the song apart from scatting (Jazz; not that other scatting). Come showtime, Ricky had shaky vocals from the jump. Brittany started off rather "hammy" but improved as the battle progressed. In the end, Pharrell picks Ricky to move on. Ugh...and another favorite of mine, Brittany is eliminated.

Second, Kensington Moore vs. Reagan James of Team Blake. They were assigned "Team" by Lorde. Rehearsals indicate Kensington needs to land her falsettos better. Reagan's issue lies in picking when to do her fluttery runs. Kensington fell ill so Reagan had more one on one time with Blake. The next day, Kensington was well and got more one on one thingy...ugh... Come showtime, Reagan ended up sounding like Lorde a bit and that isn't a problem. It's actually a plus. Kensington tried, but just couldn't be as good as Reagan. In the end, Blake picks Reagan to move on. DURR. Kensington is booted from S7.

MONTAGE: Blake: Alison Bray vs. Fernanda Bosch = Alison wins and Fer gets the boot. Told you Fer was doomed from the jump by picking Blake

Gwen: Anita Antoinette vs. Mayra Alvarez singing "I Can See Clearly Now" = Anita Antoinette wins and should NOT have been montaged at all.

Then it was Bryana Salaz vs. Gianna Salvato singing "Boom Clap" by Charli XCX = Bryana wins because Gwen is a moron.

Finally, Beth Spangler vs. Mia Pfirmann of Team Adam. They were assigned "I Turn to You" by Christina Aguilera. Rehearsals indicate Adam doesn't know what the hell he's doing. He wants these "belters" to hold back on a Christina Aguilera song...-_- that's like trying to divide by 0. It can't. be. done. Come showtime, Beth managed to sound better than her audition. Mia still sounds horrible. Notsorryboutit, but I smell another overrated one a la HRFH. In the end, Adam picks Mia to move on. -_- Gwen ends up with Beth on her team because Adam is a moron.

All in all, the Battles might actually be over...talk of Knockouts being back has been going on for some time...THANK THE LORDE.

Up next for scrutiny, the Knockouts Part I.

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