Act II of Mass Kombat was written from 1/27/15 to 1/31/15. NSFW because I love you or something like that.
Following their much needed bout of coitus, Shepard and Kaidan were able to regain their natural stances and met the remaining Authority in the War Room. Presenting themselves in their latest uniforms, Shepard pressed the Lead Executive of any pressing issues among the Armada. “It’s best we address these matters before we contemplate on what to do now that we’re finally in Seattle.”
Christie took the floor and had Silas and Therese by her side. “Commanders, by word of Nina and confirmation from Silas and Therese themselves; they express concern over their lives and question if they face indentured service to this Armada.” Shepard replied, “We don’t have any intent to have the refugees force their time for us.” Kaidan added, “If you don’t have it in you to fight in the Armada, we won’t be the type to make you.” Therese took the floor and explained her trepidations about the idea in the Armada.
“Sirs...” she began. “...it has nothing to do with any level of hatred I have for you. It only revolves around me being scared of everyday life. Outside of here, it seems silly of me to be scared of life. While I am here, it will only make my fears much worse.” Kaidan assured her, “You’re not being silly when you say any of this. We don’t know who to leave you to nor do we like the prospect of any of you being thrown to your own devices again. Yet if you, Silas and Nina want life outside of the Armada, we’re not going to stop you.” Silas then took the floor and explained his hang ups about being aboard or associated with the Armada longer.
“Commanders, I as well don’t hate you guys.” he began. “I’m just tired of the constant and needless moving around. Though I think I have a way out for me and Therese.” He pulled a cell phone from his pocket. “Whose phone is that?” Christie asked. “It was Ms. Chambers’ phone for work in the Alliance.” he replied. Silas then scrolled through the numbers until he reached the Alliance Refugee Safeguard front desk’s numbers. Before he dialed the number, he turned to Nina and asked her, “Do you want out too Nina?” She replied, “Christie did want all three of us to join her and Will.” “Oh.” Therese chimed in. “Sorry and all, Christie. You might not flex kindness for a lot of people, but Silas and I have to be honest here and now.” “Honesty is a thing at least I don’t kill people for having.” she replied. Nina continued, “As for me, I’d rather stay here. The Authority seems to like my observant nature. Maybe I could use that to be a human Osprey or something.” Silas although sad, understood the slight difference between him and Nina.
Silas then asked one of the Commanders to keep guard of him and Therese as he made the call outside to the Safeguard. “Reception in here is give or take.” he mentioned. Shepard volunteered to more or less chaperone the two but not before Major Johnny Cage pointed out, “Shouldn’t we make sure Silas and Therese look like normal kids before we have them step out first? Somebody might see them and have suspicions.” Violetta was stunned at Johnny’s rare moment of conversational gold. “I can’t believe something well thought out came from your mouth, Johnny.” she said. He and Major Jade were tasked to have Silas and Therese cleaned up before the call.
Twenty minutes later, the two pending departures were out of their weathered and innocence shattered textiles and in fairly regular clothes. “The Ninja Mime t-shirts were Johnny’s idea.” Silas dejectedly said. Shepard snided, “I was hoping the cruelty against you ended already.” The three made their way off the ferry and Silas dialed the number to the Safeguard. The call was picked up almost instantaneously by a concerned but firm voice. “Ms. Chambers!” they began. “Do you mind telling me where you and those three children are?!”
Silas replied, “Ms. Chambers went off the deep end, ma'am.” The voice on the other end reacted with relief and horror. “Young man, where are you and the other children?” He answered, “We’re with Mr. Shepard...” The voice on the other end interjected, “The Commander Shepard who was recently honorably discharged? Put me on with him please.” Shepard was handed the phone and he answered, “This is former Alliance Commander John Shepard of the Normandy. Who am I speaking with?”
“Shepard, thank God you found those children.” she began. “It’s Dr. Karin Chakwas.” “Dr. Chakwas?” Shepard pressed. “When were you transferred to the Safeguard?” Dr. Chakwas explained, “Once Alliance programs in space ended, my medical department absorbed and was tasked with resuming Safeguard duties here in San Francisco.” Shepard explained, “We’re in Seattle so you’re not terribly far from picking up Silas and Therese.” Dr. Chakwas asked, “What about the third child?” He replied, “Nina elected to stay here with myself, Major Alenko and new colleagues of mine I met somewhere near the Far East.” “I’ll bring the file on Nina and meet you in the harbor you’re stationed at.” she replied. “It’ll take 2 hours with the fastest water craft here, but I’ll rush to get those children.” “Thank you Dr.” Shepard said.
He turned to Silas and Therese and told them about the two hour waiting period. “We’ll wait it out some more.” Therese said. They boarded the ferry and went back to the War Room to inform the rest of The Authority as to how the call went. “Silas and Therese will be picked up in roughly 2 hours by Alliance Refugee Safeguard rep. Dr. Karin Chakwas.” Kaidan was most relieved. “At least they’re in capable hands again.” Nina asked, “Did you tell her I was staying here?” “Yes I did, and she’s bringing your file so we know how to take care of you.” he answered. Catya then raised the question, “Where do we stow the two leaving away in? We either risk some needless interactions outside or we suffocate them in the ferry further.”
Shepard responded, “We’re better off not risking having them outside again. Will? Have these two with you and Christie in her quarters at once.” “Ay, ay Commander.” he replied. “And Silas leave the cell phone with me. I’ll let you know when Dr. Chakwas gets here.” “Thank you Shepard.” he replied. Christie and Will left with Silas and Therese, leaving The Authority to only deal with Nina. “Major Liu Kang, have Nina fed and cleaned up for the day.” “Right away Commander.” he complied. He and Nina left the War Room leaving only The Authority and life in Seattle to plan.
“Now that the pressing matters are out of the way...” he began. “Blyvy, I’d like for you to improve and stabilize the highest possible level of reception in this room. I can’t jeopardize time for Silas and Therese.” She was handed the phone and was able to configure the reception’s performance by charging the phone into one of the supercomputer’s backup generator. “You’ve got more bars than a freestyle rap.” she stated. “I’ll keep watch to make sure no fuckery occurs.” Shepard handed the floor to Kaidan to finally bring up settlement plans. He earnestly prompted, “Now the next item for business is to determine what to do in Seattle as The Armada.”
Catya suggested, “Anything that involves getting off of this fucking ferry is a good start. Sea legs don’t suit me for much longer.” Violetta added, “Besides that, we need to figure out what the fuck we’re fighting once we get off of this thing.” Shepard echoed their sentiments in pointing out, “We will need to find and destroy enemies to subdue whatever bloodlust is left in us and the budding bloodlust the academy students have.” While the War Room was strategizing a much needed exit plan from “The ‘Ferry’ Godmother”, Christie and Will were making sure Silas and Therese weren’t having buyer’s remorse in wanting to leave once Dr. Chakwas arrived.
“Neither of us are calling you liars, but we have to make sure we do everything we can to make sure this Dr. isn’t met with more than she can handle.” Christie assured. Therese only nodded her head yes and said, “I’m certain I want to leave.” Silas concurred, “We’ll be fine Christie.” Will decided to press the two for more information in to what they remembered of their refugee station and how Kelly Chambers played into all of this. “How exactly did Ms. Chambers come to the decision of attacking the Commander?” Therese answered, “She always mentioned the Commander as someone that for all his military capacity, couldn’t exactly keep anyone ‘of worth’ alive.” Silas added, “She used to mention this place called Virmere and how an old friend of hers was duped by the Commander into sacrificing herself in battle.”
Instinctually, Christie privately radioed Shepard in the meeting. “This sounds crucial to him. That’s why I’m trying to radio him.” she said. The Commander looked to his radio and saw its activity. “Commander Shepard, this is Christie. Do you read? Shepard, it’s Christie; do you read?” He replied, “Loud and clear, Christie. We’re not certain where to go from here so you have perfect timing yet again.” She replied, “Will and I stumbled across the reason Kelly Chambers was after you. Therese and Silas will explain everything.” She handed them the radio and Therese went first. “Shepard...do you remember Ms. Chambers having someone as a friend of yours in your early military days? Someone with an ‘A’ name.” Silas then added, “She always mentioned a place called Virmire. Do you know what she was talking about?”
Shepard then realized the grotesque, malicious, misguided intent Kelly had in attacking him and Kaidan. He breathed deep and explained himself in full, but not before letting Kaidan know that old wounds could be opened. “We now know why Chambers did this.” he warned. “Silas, Therese...Ms. Chambers dragged you both and Nina and attempted to attack me and Kaidan because she thought I had her maybe once or twice in the same room friend, Ashley Williams killed on a mission on the planet, Virmire.” Therese was slightly heartbroken but unfortunately confirmed the worst fears of the Armada. “She always lied to us.”
Shepard continued, “It was when we were dealing with a long since distant memory enemy Saren. Ashley was dealing with his reinforcements and Kaidan was arming a bomb that was to ensure Saren’s base being destroyed. I was forced to choose between the two of them. If I had tried to save both of them, I would’ve died as well and I doubt the world as we know it would’ve existed.” Silas was consoling Therese who was breaking into tears. “We didn’t realize Ms. Chambers was evil like that, Commander.” he said. A sobbing Therese apologized to Shepard on grounds that were beyond her capacity. “I’m...sorry...for believing...her, sir.” “None of you did anything wrong.” Shepard said. “You had no idea as to what she was talking about let alone if she wasn’t telling the whole truth.”
Christie asked for the radio back from Therese and ended transmission. “We’re going to do our best to console these two until we hear from you about Dr. Chakwas. Lead Executive of the War Room, out.” Blyvy chimed in, “Good Lord. I thought psychos were the only ones other people would openly try to destroy.” Violetta added, “You’re not as fucked up as we are nor have you done anything as fucked up as us.” Catya noted, “Worse you ever did was blow a guy’s head off. We’ve made people skip rope with their intestines and beat people with their spines.” Shepard’s uneasiness resurfaced as he collapsed to the ground. “Give him air, you sons of bitches.” Violetta wryly demanded.
Major Jade then saw that Kaidan had left the War Room and was crying against a wall. “Commander Alenko, what’s the meaning of this?” He answered her, “Shepard warned me this would open old wounds, but I didn’t think the biggest one would open.” “Survivor’s guilt getting at you?” she queried. He explained, “I was prepped to die more than once when I served with Shepard. Virmire was the first and only time I felt I wouldn’t live to see him again. Everything else is me worrying that an erroneous action would take his life.” As he uttered those words, Shepard came to from his internal submission. He saw Jade offer solace to Kaidan and realized what made him have his uneasiness. He walked to where she and his sobbing beau were and told Jade, “We need a minute.” She was complicit and said, “I’ll only come back to let you know if the Dr. calls. Until then, the rest of us will try to organize an exit plan.” As she left, Shepard said to Kaidan “Baby...it’s me. Listen to me. I’m not going to belabor that we’ve been through this already.”
“You warned me I’d be hurting again and here I am...” Kaidan began.
“Don’t blame yourself for being human.” he replied.
“You told me even back then that it wasn’t my call...”
“Or Ash’s call; or your fault; or her fault; it was my call...”
“And you couldn’t save us both.”
“And I chose to save you.”
The two kissed to subdue the adrenaline and malevolent nostalgia that was placed upon them. Once their lips parted, Shepard looked to Kaidan’s partially bloodshot tainted amber eyes and said “Let’s get back inside. Dr. Chakwas might be calling any minute now.”
The minute they returned to the War Room and Kaidan was functioning again, the cell phone rang. Blyvy answered first to prevent any potential ambush; “Co-Viceroy of the Armada, Blyvy speaking. Who’s this?” Dr. Chakwas confirmed her 2 hour estimated arrival responding, “Dr. Karin Chakwas of the Alliance Refugee Safeguard.” Blyvy wryly insisted, “Make your way to the ferry and hand over anything you need to Commander Shepard.” “As you wish.” Dr. Chakwas replied. Major Jade privately radioed Christie and Will, “Dr. Chakwas is here. Have Silas and Therese’s things ready and meet us in the front.”
Relief overcame the Armada as Dr. Karin Chakwas was alone with Nina’s file in hand. “I got here as fast I could in the fastest vehicle the Safeguard had available.” she said. Christie and Will’s arrival with Silas and Therese was as prompt as the relief. The two ran up to hug Dr. Chakwas and showed smiles for the first time since their initial encounter with the Armada. “Thank God you two are alright.” she began. “Where’s Nina and why are you two dressed like that?” Violetta answered, “She’s with one of the Majors and presumed comfy as fuck now.” Contrary to Violetta’s theory, Major Liu Kang and Nina showed themselves just as she had finished eating her first full meal in weeks. “Dr. Chakwas!” she exclaimed.
“Hello Nina.” she began. “I understand you want to stay here with Commander Shepard and his Armada?” Nina responded, “You understand correctly. I feel at peace here and like I can be used for good.” Dr. Chakwas handed Shepard the file on Nina and advised him, “Follow this thing page to page.” “She’ll have no issues under me and Kaidan’s care.” he assured. Christie slapped him in the face. “Don’t forget this fine Armada, you vainglorious sack of shit.” “I wondered when you would show up again.” Nina cheekily snarked. She looked to Shepard and realized, “She’s pretty much our human Osprey.” Dr. Chakwas looked at Shepard and wished him well on whatever endeavors he would face with his newest unorthodox collective.
She proceeded to escort Silas and Therese to the watercraft and the Armada gave their goodbyes. “Don’t end up burnouts!” Catya said. “Don’t fuck with people’s emotions!” Violetta chimed in. “Marry rich and/or for love!” Blyvy added. “Never fuck on the first date!” Christie noted. Dr. Chakwas thought to herself, “How these crass Neanderthals didn’t kill the children on sight is perhaps the biggest mystery I’ve encountered in all my years.” The watercraft drove off and as it faded from the Armada’s existence, Shepard adjourned the meeting before anything was presented to him about settlement plans. “We’ve had a rough go of things today.” he began. “Maybe tomorrow can bring better results.” Christie wryly said, “We’re having the Armada vote on what to do once we actually step off of this goddamn thing. It’s what Catya, Blyvy, Violetta and I have done before and were shocked to forget bringing up.” As she sauntered off, she had Nina and Will come back to her quarters on the ferry. “Sleep tight Commander!” Nina said.
Shepard and Kaidan called it a night and headed to their quarters. “All we can try to do is sleep this off.” he whispered to his troubled beau. “I’m three years your senior and I can’t even pull myself together.” he dejectedly uttered. “Don’t say that.” Shepard lovingly demanded. Kaidan realized he was overreacting and thanked his forgiving paramour with a kiss. “Be big spoon tonight. I’ll need it to make me feel better.” “Your sense of humor came back.” Shepard noted. “You’re right, baby.” Kaidan cooed. The two then embraced each other as they normally had. Shepard’s frame was hugged tightly with Kaidan’s and the warmth betwixt the two lulled the two to a peaceful slumber.
Meanwhile, Majors Liu Kang and Kenshi were conversing in a lounge area where they had decided to ponder about other paths their lives could’ve found. “I can’t help but imagine what could’ve been had Raiden ‘stuck’ to Christie’s script.” Liu Kang started. “His duplicity brought the death of my closest friend.” Kenshi retorted, “We found out what was meant to be told to us, Liu. Even you have to realize this at some point.” “My apologies for foolish points.” Liu replied. Kenshi wondered himself, “The only thing that bothered me is how Kitana essentially sold her soul for a throne.” Major Jade overheard the conversation and decided to inject herself into it. “Sorry for my intrusion, gentlemen. I couldn’t help but be tempted to chip in to this as well.” “What’s your take on things, Jade?” Liu asked.
“As far as I’m concerned...” she started. “The only thing that’s upsetting me is that in one fell swoop, Christie is running the show.” Kenshi concurred. “We may have to thank her for finishing off the most treacherous of our group, but we instead inherited a psychopathic tyrant.” Liu Kang wondered if retaliation against Christie and the Co-Viceroys was really the best they could hope for. “I’m not convinced the course of action we’re considering is enough to erase that our quest of defeating Shao Kahn has been nullified possibly forever.” Jade agreed with him that attempting to seize Christie’s power for their voided quest would be pointless. “We can’t rid of her for those means. That much is what we can reach a consensus on.” Major Johnny Cage stepped in after his overhearing of the discussion and potential revolt against Christie. “So guys...when do we act against Christie?” he openly posed.
“This wasn’t an actual plan to revolt.” Kenshi clarified. Jade explained, “All we were discussing was how things could’ve been had it not been for Raiden’s power hungry descent into madness.” “Oh...” Johnny said. “Well, even though Christie’s like Raiden in that she gets off on power she’s at least honest with us.” Liu echoed his sentiments. “That is very true. She would at least let us know if she was killing us or something like that.” As the last syllable left Liu’s mouth, Kenshi sensed that they were in danger. “Something isn’t right here.” He had Liu and Johnny check outside of the lounge and split left. Meanwhile, he and Jade split right and checked the entire ferry for any potential threats. However, every step they took was another second they were too late.
Christie’s anointed “Human Osprey” had been out and about on the ferry to relieve a freak case of headaches and stumbled onto every word the Majors spoke. Before Kenshi had even sensed her presence, Nina had scurried back to her quarters and told Christie everything that was said. “They didn’t threaten revolting against you once Johnny stepped in, but they’re acting like you’re a bigger problem than someone named Raiden.” Christie was enraged and had her and Will accompany her to round up any Armada soldier that was roaming the grounds. “We’re going to teach them what I taught Raiden.” she began. “...don’t fuck with me.” Once Nina and Will rounded up every Armada soldier that was up so late, Christie led everybody to the lounge. “Nina, radio all four of the majors to the lounge.” she commanded her. Her compliance began to spell doom for the majors. She privately radioed Jade, “Major Jade; this is Nina. Do you read, Major Jade?” Once Jade radioed back, time had begun to fleet even faster. “Major Jade speaking, I read you loud and clear Nina.” Nina responded, “I need to see all four of the majors in the lounge. Can you round them up and have them meet me in the lounge?” Against her better judgment, Jade sealed the fates of the four majors in the last mistake she would ever make. “We’ll be on our way.” “Thank you Jade. End transmission.” Nina explained to Christie, “If I call them out on their hypocrisy now, they’ll be racked with guilt and easier to kill. Guilty people always die with a level of horror in them.”
Minutes after the end transmission, Majors Jade, Liu Kang, Johnny Cage and Kenshi made their way to the very lounge they left. Jade said to Nina, “What do you want to talk about?” She replied, “Sit down. All four of you. Something that happened earlier is still on my mind.” Once all seated, Kenshi asked Nina what happened that she had to have the Majors meet up all at once. “We’re all concerned Nina.” he began. “Though we’re here now and you can tell us in plain English...what happened earlier?” She replied with the code words, “You said Christie was worse than Raiden.” Before they could respond with horrific profanities, an Armada member clubbed Kenshi to death with a kanabo. His blood splattered across the horrified Majors.
Johnny Cage attempted to disarm the kanabo wielding soldier, but he was met with a grisly death of his own. Two Armada soldiers gouged out his eyes, slit his throat and impaled him with a Claymore. The growing bedlam had Shepard’s uneasiness resurface. The heavy breathing had Kaidan concerned. “Shepard!” he exclaimed. All Shepard could do was have Kaidan lead him to where the uneasiness was stemming. “I’ll arm us just in case.” Kaidan said.
Armed with combat shotguns, he and Kaidan eventually spotted the blood trails in the lounge. “Oh my God...” Kaidan began. “You’ve got to come to, Shepard.” Once able to stand again, Shepard barged in on the attack and drew his gun. “Someone better explain this and do it fast and honest.” Nina expressed no fear and gave her side of the story. “These four were in this lounge acting like we would’ve better off with Raiden’s charade of leadership.” Jade countered, “We were only discussing some concerns we had since abandoning our original quest.” Nina chided Jade, “At the expense of the person who you said ‘in one fell swoop is running the show’? After the fact that she was the one who even cared about the Commanders settling here?”
Shepard stopped the argument. “Wait just a minute.” he began. “Jade? Did you actually say Christie is running things here?” Jade confirmed her earlier statements. “Her siege for power is worse than Raiden’s ever was. All she’s doing is manipulating you for her own gains.” Kaidan chimed in shotgun in hand, “We don’t even know what we’re doing as an Armada yet and you’re accusing Christie of using us?” Before Shepard’s rage consumed him, Christie grabbed his gun aimed it at Jade and said, “Look! A bullet!” before blowing Jade’s head clean off. “They never think to duck.” Shepard took the gun back and aimed it to Liu Kang’s head. “Explain yourself in how you wanted to take us down.”
Liu Kang insisted that the conversation was never intended to be grounds for revolt. “All I told Kenshi first was me merely wondering what life could’ve been like had Raiden stuck to Christie’s script.” Nina confirmed his statement. “Yes, he did say that.” Liu continued, “I remembered his deceit costing Kung Lao’s life before I attempted to remind my now slain comrades that acting out against Christie wasn’t going to bring our original mission of defeating Shao Kahn in the tournament back to fruition.” Nina then pressed, “Why didn’t you stop the others from letting their hatred fester?” Liu Kang solidified his part of Jade’s fatal error when he shouted, “You must’ve been getting Christie to kill us in the lounge by the time Kenshi sensed something was wrong!” before punching Nina in the face. The bruise it left had Shepard and Kaidan the most appalled. Yet it was Christie who lunged at him and subdued him before telling the Commanders, Will, Nina and every Armada soldier that was up so late to leave the room. “I’m about to commit the foulest shit imaginable. You don’t want to see this at all.” Her ferocity had convinced Shepard to lead everyone from the lounge and back to their quarters. “Will, make sure Nina is taken to the medical ward to treat that bruise.” “Right away, Commander.” he replied. Once they were away long enough Christie proceeded to begin her foulest act.
“You deserve everything that is about to happen to you.” She began. “I’m about to tear off, rip out and shove in...well you’ll see that in a bit.” She began by tearing the arm with the hand he punched Nina with. His screams did nothing but aggravate Christie further. She then tore out Liu Kang’s eyes, making sure the tearing patterns were irregular. She then beat Liu in the jaw with the severed arm, breaking it and lessening the screams. His gargled cries worsened her ruthlessness against him. She scoured the lounge before finding a dagger used to open up letters. Christie proceeded to stab and slice his other arm. His blood began to irritate Christie. “I’m not done with you yet you little bitch.”
After she sliced his abdomen open and ripped out his intestines, she said to him “Sweetheart. This is hardly what I warned the others to stay away from.” She pulled down his pants, grabbed his loins and shoved the dagger up his urinal tract. The gargled cacophony brought back the very people she warned to leave the lounge. “What the hell is she doing to him?” Shepard wondered. He and Kaidan along with other Armada members rushed to the lounge to see the sanguine massacre that was being performed. “Oh good Lord, Christie.” one Armada soldier cried in disgust. Another Armada member asked, “Can’t you just leave him to die already?” Kaidan attempted to call Christie off of the mangled, bloody mess formerly known as Major Liu Kang. “You’ve done the foulest thing imaginable, Christie. Leave him to die until we dump him in the ocean.” Christie replied with macabre jubilation, “That’s not what I warned you about. Not even close gentlemen. Since your timing is perfect, however, I’ll let you see it after all.”
She turned around, tousled around and made a pulling motion before asking Shepard to solve a riddle. She told him, “Riddle me this, Commander. When you want to make a statement without seeming exclamatory, interrogative and want to make it concise...what punctuation would you use?” Shepard answered, “A period.” before realizing what she had warned them about. “Oh my God. Kaidan! Troops! Turn away now!” Kaidan was complicit but the Armada soldiers provided all the agonizing details. “What’s that white string she’s holding and why was it in her pants?” one Armada soldier asked. “Don’t turn around Kaidan.” Shepard warned. “I’m closing my eyes while turned around.” Kaidan assured.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” one Armada soldier screamed.
“Oh God in heaven!” another Armada soldier added.
“Please stop, Christie. This is too much!”
“Christie! Please stop!”
The gargled choking led to the soldiers fleeing the room and vomiting in the gardens. Shepard and Kaidan waited for Christie to make Liu Kang succumb to death’s grip. They heard her stomp on Liu’s ribcage and the gargled choking becoming sharper and more grotesque by the stomp. Finally, death would grip the last Armada Major after Christie grabbed one of the Armada soldier’s guns and blew Liu Kang’s head off. She emerged from her scarlet, murderous cocoon only to say, “It’s a shame you missed that bloody good show. Close the lounge for good.” Shepard had Kaidan run to the medical ward to check on Will and Nina. Meanwhile he fumbled around, found the doorknob and closed Christie’s macabre mausoleum and left the majors to rot. He opened his eyes and was relieved that the bedlam had subsided. He caught up with Kaidan just as he was relieved that Nina’s bruise had healed.
Will explained, “The medical head here said Dr. Chakwas’ file on Nina worked wonders to heal her. As for the level of bruising, that bastard did leave something mean on her. However, they were able to ice it quick and efficient enough to where she’s pretty much healed.” “Thank goodness she’s alright.” Kaidan said. As Will was about escort Nina back to Christie’s quarters, Nina was concerned if her methodology in finding out about the budding resistance against Christie (and in turn the Commanders) lessened her in their eyes. “All I did was tell Christie the truth, but people died because of it.” Shepard assured her, “This particular fleet I’ve more or less co-supervised with her always gave a sense of ‘ends justify the means’; I don’t think she let alone Kaidan and I would be mad at you for that.” Kaidan chimed in, “Just make sure you get some sleep. We’ll finally figure out what to do in Seattle tomorrow.”
Once split and dormant from Will and Nina, Shepard and Kaidan made it to their quarters where they decided to shower off the bedlam induced stench from their bodies. “Let’s clean each other off before we do anything else.” Kaidan began. “We don’t have blood on us, thank goodness but we can’t sleep in our current state now.” Shepard agreed and made sure the water was running at the right temperature so both he and his basalt haired paramour could take in every minute of hydrating escapism. He beckoned Kaidan and before long, the two made sure the shampoo, conditioner and body wash thoroughly cleaned every inch of each other. “Don’t you love these sanity checks?” Shepard cooed. “Hmm...sanity checks.” Kaidan replied. Minutes later, the two were dressed for the warming lull they desired to have back.
Hours later, after the sentiment of bedlam had finally left the ferry; Christie radioed the Commanders that the meeting and Armada vote on settlement had approached. “Both of you to the center of the ferry in your proper Commander attire.” Shepard emerged from the warmth to reply, “Roger that, Lead Executive. Don’t start the meeting until me and Kaidan arrive. End transmission.” Once the Commanders were dressed to the nines, they found that Christie was mediating a feud among the Armada. Shepard told Kaidan, “Get the briefing from Catya or any Co-Viceroy and wait for me on the stage.” “Ay, ay sir.” he replied.
Shepard reached the center of the feud and wondered what had caused such early dissent. “What’s the meaning of this feud?” he sternly pressed. Christie explained, “It’s bullshit related to pop music divas.” Flummoxed, Shepard queried “Is it a matter of who’s better than the other?” One feuding Armada soldier said, “No sir. That bumbling sack of crap can’t pick a good Lady Gaga song from a hole in the ground.” The other feuding Armada soldier countered, “You’re the one with bad taste in Lady Gaga songs! You’re defending ‘Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)’ you tone-deaf facial-waster!” One feuding Armada soldier angrily noted, “Your taste in Gaga sucks worse! You’re defending ‘Alejandro’ for fuck’s sake!” Shepard conked the both of them in the head before saying, “Both of you have bad taste in Lady Gaga songs. Talk about ‘Paparazzi’, ‘Applause’, ‘Bad Romance’ or even ‘Bloody Mary’ before you debate this again.”
Once he and Christie took the stage, the settlement hearings would finally commence. Shepard took the floor to begin the hearings. “After a series of screwy at best events, I am pleased to announce that this fine Armada is to have the final say in as to what we do once we leave this fucking ferry.” He pointed to Christie and the Co-Viceroys and continued, “One by one these members of the Authority will present the best ideas they came up with in the matter of settlement plans.” He handed the floor to Catya after Christie declined to go first. Catya proposed to the Armada, “Once off of this ferry, I believe the course of action to be the most beneficial to the Armada is to take on and vanquish annoying fan-bases of musical acts not worthy of being spat on by us.” An Armada soldier in the fourth row stood up and proclaimed, “Most of those fan-bases have already been killed and 9 times out of 10 the artists have met their ends by...all of your hands too.” Catya countered, “Yes, but shitty musical acts and annoying as fuck fan-bases are known to change form and regenerate like that damn liquid terminator.”
Blyvy took the floor next and somewhat echoed Catya’s sentiments. “You’re absolutely right about the plurality in theory.” she began. “However, I propose that once we leave the ferry we focus our hatred on one terrible singer and fan-base that deserves nothing but pain, misery and death from us.” Catya accepted her revision and co-signed herself to Blyvy’s proposal. “Alright. Blyvy and I propose that once we leave this goddamn shit-show of a ferry, we focus our hate on one terrible singer and their fan-base and bring them every bit of unholy ruthlessness we can muster up.” Kaidan nudged Shepard and whispered, “Am I the only one concerned about our future well being with these maniacs?” Shepard assured him, “We haven’t been killed by them in any attempt to squash conflict with them. That and without them we might be fighting in some pointless tournament with no ascertainable or tangible outcome.” Kaidan realized Shepard was right and offered him a snack to watch potential bitch-fits from the Co-Viceroys and Armada alike. “Any Snacky S’mores or Cheesy Poofs, my love?” he asked. “Let me have some Cheesy Poofs, babe.” he cheekily replied. “Oh and some Coke Zero.” “Naturally.” Kaidan cooed.
The Commanders snacked and waited for some verbal fireworks to erupt and knew they’d inch closer when Violetta gave her time in the hearing. “Well since the co-sign proposal is pretty much approved, let’s focus on musical acts and fan-bases we can destroy.” She then gave the Commanders exactly what they wanted. “Name a bad musical act...with an annoying fan-base...other than Sam Smith.” An Armada soldier in the third from left in the second row, countered, “Whoa lady. Sam Smith isn’t the worst ever with an annoying fan-base. That’s Cher Lloyd.” An Armada soldier toward the back countered the previous statement, “No way. The act needs more ubiquity mixed with annoying levels of fan-base. I propose we vanquish Taylor Swift and her ‘Swifties’.” Christie chimed in, “No way on Taylor. Her success pisses people off in all the right ways. That and she’s actually good on like maybe four songs so she’s cool. If you don’t count that bullshit she pulled on the ‘spot’.”
Violetta continued, “We have Sam Smith and Cher Lloyd as targets. Any other suggestions, I implore you get them out now.” The Armada shouted every candidate they could think of from Adam Lambert to Zedd. “Tame Impala!; Haim!; fun.!; Ella Henderson!;” Blyvy nudged the Commanders and asked them, “Got any Gummy Guns in that snack bag? Shit’s about to get crazy.” Kaidan offered, “Which flavor? ‘Cherry Cherry Boom Cannon’ or ‘Gatling Gun Tongue Grape’?” Blyvy replied, “Yes please on both.” Shepard then offered her a drink to which Blyvy declined. “I’ll be good with these, Commander.” An Armada soldier made the mistake of then yelling “FKA twigs!” before Christie shot him right in between the eyes. Violetta snided, “So we know who we’re not going to be targeting now, right?”
She decided to narrow down the field to Sam Smith and Cher Lloyd. However, an Armada soldier voiced their suggestion which up until now had gone unheard. “Why not Jessie J? She’s a talentless hack and her fans insist she’s ‘fantastic’ live. Besides, Cher Lloyd faded faster than a hairstyle." The Authority were pleased at the sudden burst of logic. “I like how you think.” Violetta began. “We’ve narrowed the field to Sam Smith and Jessie J as the targets of this Armada. All in favor of destroying Sam Smith shout out “aye”!” Of the 499 remaining members of the Armada, 249 shouted their votes of destroying Sam Smith. “All in favor of destroying Jessie J shout out “aye”!” The burst of logic soldier along with the other half comprised the 250 that narrowly brought the decision in favor of destroying Jessie J. “By a single vote, it’s official. Once we leave this goddamn place we will bring down Jessie J and all of her goddamn fans in a blaze of hell.” Violetta announced. Shepard wiped the crumbs of snacks from his mouth, assumed the floor and asked for the burst of logic soldier’s presence on stage.
“What’s your name, soldier?” he queried.
“Angela.” she replied.
“Well Angela, you’ve proven your worth enough you’re now part of The Authority.”
“I appreciate and accept the offer.”
Angela’s welcome to the authority wasn’t met with initial accolades from the 249 who voted to destroy Sam Smith. One such Armada member even shouted to her, “Way to save Barabbas you bitch!” She drew her kaiken and lunged at the Armada member where she proceeded to stab out their eyes, slit their throat and waited until the blood spilled enough to drop the Armada down another member. Christie sarcastically noted, “Well aren’t we about friendship in this unit...good grief, Angela at least give the poor son of a bitch a chance to throw an easy punch before you stab his ass to death.” She replied, “I’ll remember that for next time.”
Once the settlement plans had been arranged, the next order of business was for every person on board to round up their belongings and begin leaving the ferry. The Authority rounded up their belongings first and before long, Shepard, Kaidan, Christie, Catya, Blyvy, Violetta, Nina, Will and the newly minted Angela were in the cocoon, drove down the ramp and had left the ferry for good. “I’m going to like this Frankenstein of a car a lot aren’t I?” Angela pondered rhetorically. Will looked at her and said, “You bet. I like women who could kill me in my sleep.” “Do you really?” she teased. Angela proceeded to conk Will in the head before finishing, “Well find love elsewhere. I didn’t rely on my instincts to get fucked by some mental case this early in my career.” Christie nudged her and sardonically warned, “Hitting him is probably going to make him hornier than you want. Try smiling; that’ll kill his boner in no time.” Angela responded, “I’ll have to remember that as well.”
Once the remaining Armada had all left the ship, Shepard had Christie set “The ‘Ferry’ Godmother” ablaze in order to truly move past this chaotic moment in their lives. “It’s the only thing that can act as a sign of progress.” Christie responded from the ferry, “What was that sappy shit you were saying? I was pouring gasoline near the lounge to get this bitch blazed up.” He smirked and told her, “Light the damn thing on fire, Christie.” “Ay, ay you son of a bitch!” she playfully exclaimed. Once lit, she rushed her ass back to the cocoon and told the Armada on foot, “You better hope you can catch up! I did put some C4 in there too.”
Shepard put the pedal to the metal in the cocoon and the Armada rushed with every second. Kaidan began to tell her, “Great psychological tactic to get the Armada moving by saying you put C...” before an explosion reminded everyone Christie hadn’t been facetious. “What was that you were saying?” she asked. “Damn good job.” Kaidan replied.