Tuesday, February 24, 2015

The Voice S8: Give It [An Interesting Contestant] 2 Me

[Tonight's episode title is a play on the sorely under-appreciated Madonna song "Give It 2 Me" from Hard Candy.]

Last night did the impossible; it provided a glorious contestant with potential AKA Meghan Linsey (And no I don't like her just because of her collaborating with my Voice and savior, Cody Belew on "Baby Get Out".) Now, the show needs to continue this positive trend of contestants that are actually interesting and even good like Meghan.

Also, Adam got ZERO artists last night. Maybe tonight he'll chalk up one person who maybe sat out from watching TV around S7 (Wisest decision if I ever heard one give or take the sheer beauty of Craig Wayne Boyd. Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy Craig!) Blake, Xtina and Pharrell will continue trying to build their teams to the best of their abilities. These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and FlirtCruiting that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First up, Anthony Riley. Old school influence in the form of a youngun. Street performing attempts to pay him some dignity and tips. He auditioned with "I Got You (I Feel Good)". In about .02 seconds all 4 coaches turned around for him. He was pretty decent in terms of 4 chair turned people from the show. Though the dance moves deterred from his singing ever so slightly. Sans the fuckery, he ended up picking Pharrell as his coach.

Second, Gabriel Wolfchild. -_- Wolfchild? That's giving Sugar Joans and Dustin Hatzenbuhler level piss poor stage name realness. Anyway he auditioned with "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright". Adam was the first to turn before Blake and Xtina joined in on his hippie chic. His guitar work was good but this is The Voice. His singing was way too subdued for a public performance. Sans fuckery, he picked Xtina to be his coach.

Third, Brooke Adee. A singer inspired by Annie. She auditioned with "Skinny Love". Mr. and Mr. Shevine turn instantly. For 16, she has some emotive potential but some really bum notes in her lower registers. Still, she's not pitiful [something that can't be said about a lot of the contestants]. Once Mr. and Mr. Shevine were done tension fucking or whatever, she picked Blake as her coach.

Fourth, Dylan Dunlap. Some L.A. native on a come up. He auditioned with "Talk Dirty" by Jason Derulo. Thanks for the R&B turned Alt crap, Dia Frampton and Lindsey Pavao. Alas, he ended up a S8 reject; gratitude on fleek. Song choice was a bigger factor than alleged enunciation problems Adam proposed. If you could put up with Dia and Xenia and any contestant named Caroline and their breathy almost inaudible selves, Dylan could've been among them...if his singing was good and not just tepid and unrefined.

Fifth, Tonya Boyd-Cannon. A Frenchie Davis wannabe. OH NO YOU DON'T GURL. She earns decent human being points for singing to inmates though. She auditioned with "Happy" by Pharrell. O_O Bold, gurl. Adam, Xtina and Pharrell turn around for her [by now, I was thinking "LET. Adam. have this. please."] Sans fuckery, she picked Adam as her coach. Her singing overall was decent and those low notes could serve her well. Credit to Adam for FINALLY getting an artist.

Sixth, Joe Tolo. Samoa and/or American Samoa in the house! He auditioned with "To Love Somebody". Xtina was the first to turn halfway through a goddamn plosive. Blake joins and it was a case of falsetto = "OMG UR SOOOOO GOOD 4 XTINA!!!!111!!!11!!" After the fuckery n' such he picks Xtina as his coach.

Seventh, Drew Parker. A small town Georgia boy...that answers to the name Drew Parker. He auditioned with "Workin' Man Blues". Once the coaches heard a Budweiser frog they couldn't help but not turn around. In the end, Drew became a S8 reject; gratitude on fleek.

Eighth, Mia Z. A plant adjacent 15 year old. A lot of musical background with maybe a famous person or two in there. She auditioned with "The Thrill is Gone". Blake and Pharrell were the ones to turn; I don't know why. She sounded like she was a character on Rugrats. Nickelodeon realness all the way. She ends up picking Pharrell. Reminder to Blake: Blues and country are NOWHERE near related. NOWHERE.

Ninth, Blaze Johnson. From the Bahamas and named Blaze, you ask? If it were Jamaica, redundancy would be an understatement. He auditioned with "How to Save a Life" by The Fray. DQ HIM FOR POOR SONG CHOICE. Luckily, this is The Voice and not The Song Choice. Mr. and Mr. Shevine were the ones to turn. This one I can understand. His projection was as good as The Fray are horrid. He ended picking Adam, giving him his SECOND artist of S8.

Tenth, Bryan Pierce. Apart from giving Nicholas David and Austin Jenckes vibes, he isn't exactly...unique. He auditioned with "Rocket Man". Once he sang...I defer to this tweet I made...

Rocket Man? All T, All Shade that's "XO" sampling Challenger audio bad. #VoicePremiere

Sorryboutit, but he was bad. Reject gratitude on fleek.

Finally, Deanna Johnson. A returning candidate from Season 5. FUCK YES. I remember her being good. She auditioned with "All I Want". Because she's the last to audition in an episode, this means she makes it. Editing, we see you...we see you, gurl. That lower register is as fantastic as ever. All I was hoping was that she wouldn't go country. All 4 coaches turned around and I was happy...still hoping she wouldn't go country. She ended up picking Adam as her coach. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

Overall, this episode added Deanna Johnson alongside Meghan Linsey as a good contestant. Finding the Kelly Clarkson of this series will be made a smidge easier for those involved.

Up next for scrutiny, Part III of the Blind Auditions.

No comments:

Post a Comment