Monday, May 11, 2015

The Voice S8: 5 to Life

As the competition dwindles down, let me just say that India Carney and Koryn Hawthorne making it to the Final 5 is amazing. I have a 40% chance of having someone I've liked from the beginning win The Voice; my highest percentage to date.
Although vanquishing the likes of Sawyer Fredericks seems unlikable (All the more reason to abolish iTunes voting methods.) the other major overrated players have long since failed.

Tonight we'll see what havoc Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Xtina and Pharrell have wrought for the contestants (Piss poor song choices, inability to truly break an artist to do better, etc.) in the hopes somebody from the show can do better than a #9 debut/peak with less than 50K in the first week (*glares at the She-Devil who won S3 and made me hate iTunes voting*).

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and FlirtCruiting that transpired...


Let's play rough and get it on!





First up, Joshua Davis of Team Adam. He ended up with "I Can't Make You Love Me" by Bonnie Raitt. Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, Joshua managed to make even a sleepy Young Adult novel turned movie style arrangement seem more NyQuil laden. He would need a second performance to make up for another Lunesta laden snore-fest.

Second, Koryn Hawthorne of Team Pharrell. She ended up with "One" by U2. Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, the arrangement seemed to fit this rendition of this overplayed U2 song...called "One"...but Koryn's singing has seen more meaningful performances. Still worthy of votes, this is about Blind Audition Koryn in magnitude: noticed potential but a really shaky delivery until the end where it was good. 

Third, Meghan Linsey of Team Blake. She ended up with "I'm Not the Only One" by Sam Smith. Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, the intended vibes were supposed to exude soulfulness but came across Shania Twain in "You're Still The One". Emotional, but nowhere near soulful.

Fourth, India Carney of Team Xtina. She ended up with "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, she was singing as supremely as her set looked like simulated internet connection in a TV commercial plus internet. Her song assignment FINALLY BENEFITTED her and at the 11th hour? Leave it to an opera/theater queen like her to pull such a stunt.

Fifth, Sawyer Fredericks of Team Pharrell. He ended up with "For What It's Worth". Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, he was horrible but not to the coaches. They thought he was ***Flawless yet again. -_-



Up again, Joshua Davis of Team Adam. He ended up with "When I Paint My Masterpiece". Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, I switched the channel to RuPaul's Drag Race. Notsorryboutit.

Then, Koryn Hawthorne of Team Pharrell. She ended up with "Mary Don't You Weep" by Aretha Franklin. Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, her soulfulness returned from the dearth of singing a U2 song in public. 10 votes went to Koryn.

Once again, Meghan Linsey of Team Blake. She ended up with "Tennessee Whiskey" by George Jones. I KNEW SHE'D BE FORCED INTO COUNTRY...yet again. Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, Meghan all this time was guilty of genre-baiting. "Soul" was a cover until Blake remembered who she was and because Pharrell screwed with us, Blake got his wish of ANOTHER country singer to probably take to the finale.
Singing wise, she's distinct for a singer I've never voted for in this competition.

Then, India Carney of Team Xtina. She ended up with "Earth Song" by Michael Jackson. WHY? WHY A MICHAEL JACKSON SONG? WHY? Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, she was phenomenal despite the song choice. Presentation wise, she was made of magical red fabric and wind darling. WIND.

5.5 in this and closing out the Top 5, Sawyer Fredericks of Team Pharrell. He ended up with "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri. Blah blah blah with rehearsals because blah blah blah. Come showtime, I decided to watch the lip-sync for RuPaul's Drag Race in the Hello Kitty challenge. Oh; no coach jokes because their feedback is already a tired joke for 8. fucking. seasons.


All in all, Koryn and India need votes more than the others.

Up next for scrutiny, the Results of the Top 5.

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