Monday, May 4, 2015

The Voice S8: Running on a V6

Tonight's episode title is in reference to the V6 engine. There's only six contestants to choose from now and this show is barely running on more than 2 good cylinders [India and Koryn].

Per usual, I suspect the coaches will make hyperbolic and horribly overestimating statements on how all of the contestants are some of the most flawless singers to grace the stage.

Let me attempt to call this season already (As if disappointment couldn't be expressed in anymore apropos way than in italicized font); despite their best efforts, India and Koryn will be voted out or not saved by East Coast Twitter just to make the critics and mindless voting block happy with Kimberly and Sawyer in the finals.
My next guess is that despite him being the musical equivalent of NyQuil, Joshua will partially piss off critics by being in the Top 3 instead of Meghan. Which reminds me; I'm going to write this apology to Meghan now:

Meghan Linsey,

If you happen upon this blog, try to understand that my gripes with you are not entirely projected onto you. Pharrell screwed up royally by letting you go in the Battle Rounds.
I am still seething with rage that Blake is who you ended up choosing as your new coach as he didn't turn for you in the Blinds.

As to why I ended up too mad to vote for you in the competition, I took confusion and offense to you saying you wanted to do soul but ended up aligning with Blake who [in no uncertain terms] is about as "soul" as the misspelled homophone of "sole".

Perhaps you had thought "Blake's supporters are frequent and I need that." If that's the case, congratulations on riding the voting method easy street; even if artistic intent was put aside to do so.

Backhanded-ness aside, I apologize for being venomous and acerbic to you during your tenure on The Voice. You made it to the Top 6 and that's nothing to sneer at.

Now onto the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and FlirtCruiting that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

***Chances are there's 12 performances to recap and since structure is more predictable than not winning the lottery, I'll just have this format for the episode:

Artist of Team Whoever ; Song # ; Coach or Contestant Choice ; Good or bad.***

First up, India Carney of Team Xtina. Song #1: "Glory" by John Legend and Common. Contestant's Choice. It was simply fantastic. It's about time India was given a song from this decade (Or anything from the 2000s onward.) and especially a song that allowed her to play up her theatrical nature.
The only bad thing is the placement of being first. That or second is usually the "death spot". Oh well, at least India was amazing.

Joshua Davis of Team Adam. Song #1: "Desire" by U2. Coach's Choice. It was the most exuberant looking Joshua Davis has ever been. In terms of singing, he's still boring. The thing that can't be overlooked here is the arrangement; NOLA [New Orleans] jazz on top a U2 song is just...full It's like the Zatarain's jingle if it was given depth. I can't with that arrangement.

Koryn Hawthorne of Team Pharrell. Song #1: "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. Contestant's Choice. It was one of her most emotionally committed performances. Shaky lower registers aside, it's still remarkable that she has gone from Dark Horse to Potential Upset winner in no time.

Kimberly Nichole of Team Xtina. Song #1: "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty. Contestant's Choice. It was just as unbearable as anything else she's done. Seriously, I hate her singing and lack of originality so much.

Meghan Linsey of Team Blake. Song #1: "Steamroller Blues" by James Taylor. Contestant's...other Choice. It was reminiscent of the Blind Audition era Meghan I was pleased with [before the Battle round outcome emerged and I went on to be compromised].
That aside, it was nice to hear something legitimately soul-adjacent from Meghan for a change.

Sawyer Fredericks of Team Pharrell. Song #1: "Shine On" by Seth & May. Contestant's Choice. It was a moment in which blue lightbulbs engulfed Sawyer and was so distracting I forgot his mostly underdeveloped singing.

Kimberly Nichole of Team Xtina. Song #2: "Dirty Diana" by Michael Jackson. Coach's Choice. It was weirdly growly and just unpleasant per usual. Then she veered into a cheap stage trick of her being all...on the ground and stuff. Just NO with her.

Joshua Davis of Team Adam. Song #2: "In My Life" by The Beatles. Contestant's Choice. It the fuck am I supposed to dog his boring presence singing to his wife? Wait...
That aside, at least Joshua gets credit for at least having more emotional depth than normal.

Koryn Hawthorne of Team Pharrell. Song #2: "Dream On" by Aerosmith. Contestant's...other Choice. It wasn't a direct mimic of how Amanda Brown did it and that was the best part. Her gruff vocalizations were a unique take on an admittedly overdone song.

India Carney of Team Xtina. Song #2: "Lay Me Down" by Sam Smith. Coach's Choice. It was mesmerizing and interestingly featured little traces of her signature vibrato. Still, she simply beat this song into submission.

Sawyer Fredericks of Team Pharrell. Song #2: "Take Me to The River" as done by Creedence Clearwater Revival. Coach's Choice. It was .

Meghan Linsey of Team Blake. Song #2: "Amazing Grace". Contestant's Choice. In a case of UP THE ANTE, Blake had her sing the ENTIRE. FIRST. VERSE a capella. O_O
Risk alone, she gets credit; not my votes because Blake must be defeated but even I will not deny anyone who sang any Jesus song portion a capella.

Overall, may India and Koryn pull an upset and if it isn't in the cards, I won't be surprised.

Up next for scrutiny, the results of the Top 6.

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