Monday, October 19, 2015

The Voice S9: Battles Royale Part III

The NBC Program with Ratings continues its slow descent into pushing a winner down viewer throats only for the winner to be put to the side/be told BYEEEEEEEEE by Universal Republic* (The same label that has the likes of Nicki Minaj, The Weeknd & Matt McAndrew...)
*Which brings me to the point that of the myriad of coaches to have been on this show, only Adam Levine and Gwen Stefani have been and are still on a Universal label [both Interscope]. All other coaches have been with Warner and Sony labels during their tenure on the show...*

Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Gwen and Pharrell still have the questionable decisions at hand and something tells me consistency will favor them instead of the contestants again. Tim Atlas became a new favorite while Ivonne Acero has earned ire for picking Blake as her new coach. Nice knowing you chica; Blake doesn't pick GOOD steals to advance (Proof: Nic Hawk from S5.)
These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First, Blaine Mitchell vs. Blind Joe of Team Blake. They were assigned "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger. Rehearsals indicate that delivery of the song is a problem for both of them. Blaine was psyching himself out and Blind Joe was missing cues due to his listening not being as sharp as it should.
Come showtime, both of them did exude the "message" of this song; modern music means nothing to them and they'd rather be outdated and boring. Neither of them displayed artistic depth or singing ability and frankly...they just suck. Sans fuckery, Blake picked Blind Joe as the winner.
Adam ends up stealing Blaine...-_- I couldn't see that bad decision coming. NO PUN INTENDED.

Second, Cassandra Robertson vs. Viktor Kiraly of Team Adam. Cassandra isn't a montage victim anymore! They were assigned "Nobody Knows" by The Tony Rich Project. Rehearsals indicate Cassandra was kicking her own ass because she's thinking success overseas means anything in the States. Points to John Fogerty for calling out the arrangement for having too much modulation. Cassandra has hidden grit but something tells me this Hungarian Robin Thicke might end up winning.
Come showtime, Viktor was way too nasally in the beginning, middle and end while Cassandra was able to show him up time and time again. Sans fuckery, Adam picked Viktor as the winner. Cassandra is not stolen and is booted from S9. Another talented contestant gets the boot.

Third, Chase Kerby vs. Korin Bukowski of Team Gwen. They were assigned "Samson" by Regina Spektor. Rehearsals indicate that both of them have a ~unique~ tone. Chase's falsetto was considered not "pretty" but in a good way and Korin's singing was too damn sharp. Eye contact was also a note for Chase as he needs more of it and allegedly...Korin was doing better.
Come showtime, Korin was less sharp but she was still generally terrible. Not that Chase was better because his falsetto sounded much too breathy and unpleasant. Apparently, the sample of "Samson" must've been maybe 4 lyrics in total because that battle was short as fuck. Sans fuckery, Gwen picked Korin as the winner. UGH...another insufferable one. Chase is not stolen and is booted from S9.

Fourth, Evan McKeel vs. Riley Biederer of Team Pharrell. They were assigned "Higher Ground" by Stevie Wonder. Keep in mind, Evan sang a touch of Stevie Wonder AFTER his Blind Audition. Rehearsals indicate that Riley had control and work cut out for her while Evan had a home court advantage but had laurels to not rest on. Riley however, kept messing up her lyrics so she looked tiger-fucked.
Come showtime, neither of them really exuded the song (A case of the Caucasians can do that). Riley did better than expected but Evan was consistent and remember that for the most part; consistency beats "potential" (Unless the coaches are tone deaf and pick the one that sucked.) Sans fuckery, Pharrell picked Evan as the winner. Riley is stolen by Gwen at the last minute. Great choice, gurl...

Fifth, Braiden Sunshine vs. Lyndsey Elm of Team Gwen. They were assigned "No One is to Blame" by Howard Jones. Rehearsals indicate that both are considered ahead of their age in terms of presence and ability. -_- Both have projection but lack resonance [that comes with either more practice or more time].
Come showtime, Lyndsey must've picked up some resonance along the way as she sounded miles better than the others. Braiden's nerves subsided, but his singing is just too vacuous and lacking any depth. Sans fuckery, Gwen picked Braiden as the winner. Lyndsey is not stolen and is booted from S9.

Finally, Andi & Alex vs. Chance Pena of Team Adam. They were assigned "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling. Rehearsals indicate that it was harmonizing vs. "potential". The "angel" metaphors were a touch too much as apparently all 3 of them had some heaven realness...allegedly.
Come showtime, the audience was biased towards Chance at first even though Andi & Alex were better...not by much but better than Chance. Sans fuckery, Adam picked Andi & Alex as the winners. Voiceover Carson spoiled that a steal was in the works here and Chance ended up getting stolen by Blake. Bye gurl! Won't care!

All in all, Evan survived so I have another favorite remaining.

Up next for scrutiny, Part IV of the Battle Rounds.

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