Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Voice S9: Less Battle, More Skirmish

The NBC Program with Ratings continues to slog along with the usual set of fuckery viewers/masochists like myself have had to settle for as singing shows die out left and right.

This one hour installment (Do we really need a Neil Patrick Harris game show? Seriously, enough of this condensing The Voice.) sees more of Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Gwen and Pharrell build teams to advance to the Knockouts to face advising by Rihanna (Who let's face facts can't sing more than "Stay" and "FourFiveSeconds" live.) Let's find out who will get just a bit more screen time than Rebekah Samarin in this round.
*SIDE NOTE to Carson: Calling Selena Gomez an "award winning pop star"? REALLY, bitch? I didn't know a terrible singer with no #1 hits with maybe a Nickelodeon kids choice award counted for being a pop star.*

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First up, Keith Semple vs. Manny Cabo of Team Adam. They were assigned "Baba O'Riley" by The Who. This song has been done since S1, so it's time to retire the SHIT out of it. Rehearsals indicate that matching vocal ability to that of the original artist/group could potentially psyche at least Keith out.
Come showtime, neither one showcased vocal depth even with being limited to a terrible song. The crowd cheering was a misnomer/false cognate as it's a song that doesn't require vocal talent to impress an easily entertained audience. That damned riff work does the job instead of the singer.
Sans fuckery, Adam ended up picking Keith as the winner (Not surprising as his kid was shown probably influencing the decision that much more.) Manny isn't stolen and is booted from S9. Bye Whitesnake impersonator!

Second, Chris Crump vs. Krista Hughes of Team Blake. They were assigned "When I Get Where I Am Going" by Brad Paisley. Rehearsals indicate that Krista seemed to be poised to tiger-fuck Chris over with this song being in her wheelhouse...though Chris did have emotional connection to the song even if the tears seemed to come.
Come showtime, Chris sounded like he was whispering in his lower registers while Krista was able to project but somehow be monotonous. By the end of the performance, it seemed like Chris picked up last minute momentum as Krista kind of teetered in and out of the performance on range [thank you for calling her out, coaches]. Sans fuckery, Blake ended up picking Chris as the winner. O_O OH MY GOD...the overrated ones seem to be dying out this time.
Krista is not stolen and is booted from S9.

Again, because the network thinks it's cute to let Neil Patrick Harris host some tubid game show for an hour before tonight's episode, the following 3 battles have been montaged...

Madi Davis vs. Sydney Rhame of Team Pharrell. Madi ended up winning. Bye Sydney.

Alex Kandel vs. Koda Wade of Team Gwen. Koda ended up winning. GREAT; more of this trainwreck.

Jeffrey Austin vs. Noah Jackson of Team Gwen. Jeffrey ended up winning...so this makes 2 more instances of Gwen's contestants getting the montage treatment. Say HI to 4th place, chica.

Finally, Ivonne Acero vs. Siahna Im of Team Pharrell. They were assigned "You Keep Me Hanging On" by The Supremes. This is reading like Dia Frampton vs. Serabee from S1 given "You Can't Hurry Love" by The Supremes. I CAN'T at bad song choices. Rehearsals indicate Ivonne has the potential but not the confidence yet while Siahna has to be able to get the vibe of the song.
Come showtime, both contestants possessed theatrics though Ivonne was more technically gifted with the singing. Credit to Siahna did get better with singing, but her theatrics were too much for my liking. Sans fuckery, Pharrell ended up picking Siahna as the winner.
Gwen and Blake swoop in to steal Ivonne and sans that fuckery, she picks Blake as her new coach. NO! NO! BAD IVONNE! BAD!

All in all, Madi survived in montage land while Ivonne has officially been removed from the favorites circle. BYE!

Up next for scrutiny, Part III of the Battle Rounds.

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