Monday, December 9, 2013

The Voice U.S. S5 Recap: Five The Hard Way

One week from tonight, one of these singers will have the unfortunate chance to receive a coronation song made by Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic fame. God help them...err I mean a start at a career indeed. Before that, the Top 5 singers left of this season took to the stage to sing songs they picked and songs their coaches picked. Nouns were at double time pace & there is too much for me to talk shit 100 miles a minute...

Let's play rough and get it on! *P.S.- the Instant-save is dead after last week. YAY! Also, slight programming shift; apparently, tonight's episode is only an hour long so that The Sing-Off can premiere at 8:00. This sucks.*

The Top 5 kick off the show with a performance of the song "Best Day of My Life". Cover band level fodder is unacceptable for the show when results are not being discussed. Sorry, but not really.

First, James Wolpert of Team Adam. The Maroon Dynasty is in tact as this is Adam's first time his team has been in mint condition. He's given "With or Without You" by U2. He is told in a sense not to be fender ketchup. Come showtime, he's not fender ketchup but in James terms this is bland. Bonus points for a little bit of scruff/stubble/five o' clock shadow. Coach's corner commenced and the coaches "lurved" his ass again. Yes these are potential peer on peer type of critiques but goddamn; critique the contestants! Anyway, I was looking to see if James' performance would hold water for my votes.

Second, Will Champlin of Team Adam. The Maroon Dynasty breakfast continued with "lurve"...ugh I can't. Then he's given "Carry On" by FUN. The intent was to have his range explored. Come showtime, projection was good, but the rest of the notes were quite displeasing. His money note was counterfeit and he wasn't behind a piano...this is his most lackluster in weeks. Coach's corner gives him a boatload of credit for not soiling there's that. If he makes it to the Final 3, I hope HRFH -2.0 and Cole being sent home are the reasons he does so.

Third, Jacquie Lee of Team X-Tina. For whatever unholy reason, "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan was given to her. This song has been abused more than the ASPCA dogs in the ads. She was given the intent to understand the difference between recorded sessions and a Live show. That was cool of X-Tina to do. Come showtime, she was sweet sounding but this song can't do justice for her. Coach's corner won't entertain critiquing contestants so at least they're nice throughout.

Fourth, Cole Vosbury of Team Blake. For some odd reason, he was taken to a barber shop where Cee-Lo was there. Both just relayed how they both kind of discovered him. Whatever, I was over the little barber gag. He's given "Shameless" by Garth Brooks. The intent like with the others is to not end up fender ketchup. Come showtime, I realized he had peaked when he performed "Adorn" by Miguel weeks ago. As digestible as he has been despite being aligned with Team Blake, he really did peak back then. Coach's corner? They are just unbearably nice to the contestants. Do they get too lost in the contestants performing? Perhaps, but someone needs to tell them that critiquing people is part of being any kind of mentor.

Closing out the Top 5,  HRFH -2.0 of Team Adam. She's given "Bridge Over Troubled Water". Like her other performances, she's expected to live up to her "phone book" singer reputation. Come showtime, I was transfixed by the stage elements and not her singing again. Coach's corner LURVED her hardcore and I am done with this hype driven bitch.

All in all, a chance at a really American Idol move in form of a coronation song awaits one of these 5 singers. Let's just hope it doesn't ruin them.

Up next for scrutiny, the results of the Top 5.

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