Monday, March 2, 2015

The Voice S8: 3, Peter, Paul & Mary

[Tonight's episode title is in reference to the Britney Spears song and lyric from her song "3".]

With Meghan Linsey and Deanna Johnson as the good contestants so far, Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Xtina and Pharrell better get to finding more contestants that don't suck (It's apparently a lot to ask from them, so rare finds will "have" to suffice.)
***Side note: I'm hoping a new social media correspondent debuts in the live shows. Carson Daly is cute and all, but somebody has to be fine with reading Twitter entries 'n such.***

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and FlirtCruiting that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First up, Kelsie May. Topophobia/stage fright/getting out there is her sob story. She auditioned with "You're Looking at Country" by Loretta Lynn. She has the accent on fleek but her singing is way too underdeveloped. All but Adam turn for her [and I agree]. After the fuckery, she picks Blake as her coach. SHOCKING; the Deep-Fried Grimmie Reaper picked the country singer to coach her.

Second, Kimberly Nicole. She's best friends with Amanda Brown from S3. She auditioned with "Nutbush City Limits" by Ike & Tina Turner. Ike & Tina = High risk, high reward. Her singing is too subtle especially considering it's Tina Turner associated. In the end, Pharrell and Blake turn for her and sans the fuckery, she picks Pharrell as her coach. Sorry Amanda Brown, but Kimberly picked a bad song for her and left a mediocre impression behind.

Third, Michael Leier. A man who says "Fargo is nothing like the movie" (He's right, because the movie is interesting.) He auditioned with "Last Kiss". Vibraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaato on fleek with him. Also, his musical identity screams deep fried country with folk with white dude trying to do blues. In other words, white dude confused me with what he's trying to do. It was a sword fight between Mr. and Mr. Shevine and eventually the fuckery led to Michael picking Adam as his coach.

Fourth, Hannah Ellis. Kentucky = country, put 2 & 2 together. She auditioned with "This One's For the Girls". Pop/Rock sounding surprise much? She ends up a reject of S8 and I heard why; she was just all over the place. Reject gratitude on fleek.

REJECT MONTAGE: Better luck next season!

Fifth, Travis Ewing. A one man band; loophole must be his favorite word. He auditioned with "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child. -_- His arrangement of it makes me hate Dia Frampton and Lindsay Pavao again. Genre switchups are risky but this was too schmoozy/crooner friendly. Credit to him for it being his arrangement. All but Adam turn around for him [and I side with Adam]. Sans banter, he ends up picking Pharrell as his coach.

BORING PEOPLE MONTAGE! Noelle Bybee is now on Team Pharrell. Adam picked up James McNeiece and Bren'nae DeBarge as in DEBARGE MUSICAL FAMILY...

Sixth, Sonic. She used to be on a label, but nothing came of it, so she said, peace. She auditioned with "Money on My Mind" by Sam Smith. F- in song choice but a solid B in singing. Not a bad way to start a Voice journey. Adam and Xtina end up turning around and Sonic ends up picking Xtina as her coach.

Seventh, Ella Khorov. New Orleans, Louisiana pride in the HAUS. She auditioned with "I Can't Stand The Rain". Not the Missy Elliott version but I'm not mad at that. She ended up another S8 reject because her singing simply wasn't up to snuff. Potential's there but not really. Oh well; reject gratitude on fleek.

Eighth, Jacob Rummell. His story should be made into a TV movie. He auditioned with "Count On Me". He's way too adorable to be taken seriously. Like good for him for following his dreams, but nice kids like that freak me out. Mr. and Mr. Shevine fight over him and Jacob ends up picking Blake as his coach.

Ninth, Barry Minniefield. An Improv comedy club chef turned singer. He auditioned with "Me and Mrs. Jones". O_O High risk high reward alert. He sounded fabulous but I thought he'd end up a reject. At the LAST. MINUTE. Adam turns around and Barry defaults to Adam. Biff Gore lives on in this one.

BORING PEOPLE MONTAGE! Adam picked up Nicolette Mare, Xtina picked up Clinton Washington and Blake picked up Matt Snook.

Finally, India Carney. Classically trained but wants a pop career [Good luck to you, gurl.] She auditioned with "New York State of Mind". Last audition means she made it to the show. She ends up picking as her coach. Her voice was actually good despite the dated as hell song choice of NYSoM. She eventually picks Xtina as her coach.

All in all, Meghan and Deanna have Sonic, Barry and India as their potential competition. One of these people better become the Kelly Clarkson of The Voice. Sorryboutit Pharrell and Xtina, but a superstar needs to be made from this show.

Up next for scrutiny, Part IV of the Blind Auditions.

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