Tonight, the NBC Program with Ratings sends the Top 10 into another week of singing and this thing meant to increase activity for the show's social media accounts and traffic to nbc.com AKA "Voting".
Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Xtina and Pharrell have more than accepted their roles of being utterly useless in terms of critique and the critic forces of Parker, Slezak & Entertainment Weekly are sure determined to have the overrated Kimberly, Sawyer, Rob & Country-Possessed Meghan win S8 so one of their favorites can win.
What they fail to realize is, they already have several overrated winners to their name. Pretty much, seasons 3-6 had the most overrated ones win when they full damn well didn't deserve it (Seasons 1 and 2 just terrible winners; Season 7 was a message to Adam that his team was only there due to Pharrell and Gwen making stupid decisions left and right.)
With 3 favorites in India Carney, Deanna Johnson and Koryn Hawthorne remaining, it's up to me and those who'll listen to me on Twitter to prevent the critics from having another winner [and for me to FINALLY have a contestant I liked from the beginning win the show.]
These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery and FlirtCruiting that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on!
First up, Kimberly Nichole of Team Xtina. She ended up singing "Something's Got a Hold on Me" by Etta James. Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes. Come showtime, she got her precious backup singers to help her out with the melody issues. Her lack of singing ability made this borderline torturous to endure. *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
Second, Joshua Davis of Team Adam. He ended up singing "Hold Back the River" by James Bay. Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes. Come showtime, his singing while subtle was just bad. At some points he gave Randy Newman on valium realness while other times he sounded in desperate need of a cough drop. *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
Third, Hannah Kirby of Team Blake. She ended up singing "Shout" by Tears For Fears. Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes. Come showtime, this was out of her...well more out of Blake's comfort zone, but Hannah wasn't pathetic. Hell she's known for shouting so Song Choice On FLEEK. *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
Fourth, Meghan Linsey of Team Blake. She ended up singing "Home" by Marc Broussard. Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes. Come showtime, the song was allegedly soulful but the vibe still gave country. The good news is that it wasn't that One Republic level awfulness. So something good happened. She still should not have picked Blake when Pharrell booted her [you idiot]. *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
Fifth, Koryn Hawthorne of Team Pharrell. She ended up singing "Make it Rain" by Ed Sheeran. Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes. Come showtime, this was exuding talent from every possible direction. She gave one of the few performances from the show in which I could clock NO. WRONG. *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
Sixth, Deanna Johnson of Team Adam. She ended up singing "Somebody to Love" by Jefferson Airplane. Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes. Come showtime, Deanna had the confidence to match her talent [what a time to bust it out too]. Her singing sounded the most phenomenal since her audition. WURQ Deanna. *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
Seventh, Rob Taylor of Team Xtina. He ended up singing "A Song For You" by Donny Hathaway. Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes. Come showtime, his piano playing was lovely, but this is The Voice; not The Pianist. *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
Eighth, Corey Kent White of Team Blake. He ended up singing "Unwound" by George Strait. Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes. Come showtime, he sounded as country as country could get. Vocally stilted, creatively devoid and uninspired but oh so "smiley". *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
Ninth, Sawyer Fredericks of Team Pharrell. He ended up singing "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls. Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes. Come showtime, he was bleating like a goat for most of the song. It was simply one of the worst performances of S8. *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
Closing out the Top 10, India Carney of Team Xtina. She ended up singing "Run to You" by Whitney Houston. Goddamnit Xtina, India has the pimp spot and you do THIS to her? What the hell is wrong with you giving her a goddamn Whitney song?! Rehearsals indicate more of the same because reduce, reuse, recycle their tropes.
Come showtime, for all of Xtina's lack of taste India yet again slayed her performance. It wasn't "Take Me to Church" misguided but India took an overdone artist like Whitney Houston and made it something different. *Useful coach advice is not found at this time. Please reformat coach requirements or try again later*
All in all, save my favorites and reject the critics. Support India, Deanna and Koryn.
Up next for scrutiny, the Results of the Top 10.
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