The time has come...for the NBC Program with Ratings to reduce the Season 9 contestants in half like they were most of the network's lineup. 24 contestants entered and really 5 of them deserve any place there.
The favorites I care about are as follows...
- Shelby Brown [Team Adam]
- Regina Love [Team Gwen]
- Madi Davis [Team Pharrell]
- Evan McKeel [Team Pharrell]
- Celeste Betton [Team Pharrell/Comeback Contestant]
The policy on my blog is the same; if these favorites fail to make it to the finale, then I jump ship until the S9 Finale Results show. These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery, FlirtCruiting, questionable song choices and last minute shenanigans that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on!
DID MY FAVORITES MAKE IT?
YES on Team Adam. YAY, Shelby survived even after being reduced for second to Jordan Smith. BTW, he saved Amy Vachal.
NO on Team Gwen...-_- Jeffrey Austin ended up surviving which wasn't infuriating, but Braiden Sunshine moved on and Gwen's dumbass ended up saving Korin Bukowski. -_- I voted for you Regina, but at least you took Ellie Lawrence and Hungarian Robin Thicke down with you!
2 YES, 1 NO on Team Pharrell. Madi survived as expected because she was flawless. Evan was also saved by the votes. As for Celeste...she was gypped for Mark Hood/Jason Derulo's stunt double. -___________- At least 2 favorites survived here.
All in all, Celeste and Regina were robbed.
Up next for scrutiny, The Performances of the Top 12.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
The Voice S9: ...I'd Wipe It Off His Face
Tonight marks the second round of Live Playoffs and it's Team Pharrell and Team Blake night (Though for the sake of dignity I will only cover Team Pharrell as Team Blake just needs to lose again.)
First thing's first, let me moan, groan and complain that Voice voters with iTunes accounts must be erased from life. Person I hate most/this season's "Chosen One" Jordan Smith has pretty much hit the Top 5 of iTunes charts relevant to that goddamn iTunes Multiplier. Abolish iTunes voting NOW. Buy their songs only if you want, but NO on those being counted as votes that could be multiplied. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Now that I have THAT out of my system, these are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery, FlirtCruiting, questionable song choices and last minute shenanigans that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on! [REMEMBER: I'm only covering Team Pharrell]
First for Pharrell, Darius Scott. He ended up performing "Love Lockdown" by Kanye West. So, Kanye's worst song is meant to help this dude? FELICIA...BYE GURL BYE.
Come showtime, the line "the vibe is wrong" is exactly what happened with this performance. Darius has always been a competent singer but no one particularly gripping. Bad song choice aside, his singing on the chorus was so underwhelming it seemed the death spot was already arranging for his departure.
Second for Pharrell, Evan McKeel. He ended up with "Overjoyed" by Stevie Wonder AKA that song he "performed" in an "impromptu" style for Pharrell in his Blind Audition. O_- a problem has emerged. There is now an attempt to attach this dude to this song and make him seem unable to be versatile.
Come showtime, the hype seemed to have 51% of this performance. Evan's tone was clear and he does know how to sing but goddamnit this song choice was bad. His "portfolio" now includes 2 Stevie Wonder songs out of 4 songs in general that he's done. O_O If he survives the 50/50 grind, Pharrell better expand his horizons and fast.
Third for Pharrell, Madi Davis. She ended up singing "Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac; UGH...obscure song by a band barely cool in the 70s/80s. Song choice is looking to punish Madi and I hoped that was not the case.
Come showtime, song choice did not punish Madi as she proceeded to do her best of turning this lump of coal into a diamond. Granted her enunciation was a bit too lenient on some words, her tone was still among the most unique this season and perhaps of the last 3 seasons combined.
Fourth for Pharrell, his comeback artist...Celeste Betton! YAAAAAAAAAAAS ANOTHER FAVORITE HAS RETURNED! She ended up singing "Something in the Water" by Carrie Underwood. Breath is a bit screwy in rehearsals and I was hoping that she wasn't set up for failure.
Come showtime, her projection was a bit hit and miss in lower registers. Once at mid and higher registers, her singing was damn near perfect for her. Towards the end it did seem like she was dropping the lyrics but her performance felt very inspired.
Fifth for Pharrell, Riley Biederer. She ended up singing "Should've Been You" by Tori Kelly. -_- Pharrell...hunny...do you secretly hate your contestants this season? Why would you give someone a Tori Kelly song? That's very hateful and you're normally made of world peace and 7Eleven Slurpees.
Come showtime, her vibe was right but her singing seemed like she was trying to make this a country ballad. O_- Pop artists tend to run the risk of deviating to a style of sound that doesn't suit them and country anything is NOT meant for Riley. Apart from that, confidence could carry her but that's if she gets enough votes to pull an upset.
Closing out the Live Playoffs for Pharrell, Mark Hood. He ended up singing "What Do You Mean?" by He Who Inspired Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. -____________- This poor song choice seems contestant driven but Pharrell still earns ire for this song choice not being barred.
Come showtime, this did not exactly reek of suck. While his tone was a bit uneven and at times strained and forced, he still sang better than Justin Bieber (Though All T, All Shade; that bar is about as high as a Mormon.) Mark is probably going to move on because of Voice Voter Stupidity but at least he defied lowered expectations by remembering the lyrics.
[By the way, Blake brought back Nadjah Nicole and I again could smell rage from other recappers who had overrated-gasms for Krista Hughes. It smelled like Potpourri and world peace.]
All in all, there's a 50/50 chance that S9 could end before the Top 12 and I am NOT. HAPPY.
Up next for scrutiny, the Results of the Live Playoffs.
First thing's first, let me moan, groan and complain that Voice voters with iTunes accounts must be erased from life. Person I hate most/this season's "Chosen One" Jordan Smith has pretty much hit the Top 5 of iTunes charts relevant to that goddamn iTunes Multiplier. Abolish iTunes voting NOW. Buy their songs only if you want, but NO on those being counted as votes that could be multiplied. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Now that I have THAT out of my system, these are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery, FlirtCruiting, questionable song choices and last minute shenanigans that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on! [REMEMBER: I'm only covering Team Pharrell]
First for Pharrell, Darius Scott. He ended up performing "Love Lockdown" by Kanye West. So, Kanye's worst song is meant to help this dude? FELICIA...BYE GURL BYE.
Come showtime, the line "the vibe is wrong" is exactly what happened with this performance. Darius has always been a competent singer but no one particularly gripping. Bad song choice aside, his singing on the chorus was so underwhelming it seemed the death spot was already arranging for his departure.
Second for Pharrell, Evan McKeel. He ended up with "Overjoyed" by Stevie Wonder AKA that song he "performed" in an "impromptu" style for Pharrell in his Blind Audition. O_- a problem has emerged. There is now an attempt to attach this dude to this song and make him seem unable to be versatile.
Come showtime, the hype seemed to have 51% of this performance. Evan's tone was clear and he does know how to sing but goddamnit this song choice was bad. His "portfolio" now includes 2 Stevie Wonder songs out of 4 songs in general that he's done. O_O If he survives the 50/50 grind, Pharrell better expand his horizons and fast.
Third for Pharrell, Madi Davis. She ended up singing "Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac; UGH...obscure song by a band barely cool in the 70s/80s. Song choice is looking to punish Madi and I hoped that was not the case.
Come showtime, song choice did not punish Madi as she proceeded to do her best of turning this lump of coal into a diamond. Granted her enunciation was a bit too lenient on some words, her tone was still among the most unique this season and perhaps of the last 3 seasons combined.
Fourth for Pharrell, his comeback artist...Celeste Betton! YAAAAAAAAAAAS ANOTHER FAVORITE HAS RETURNED! She ended up singing "Something in the Water" by Carrie Underwood. Breath is a bit screwy in rehearsals and I was hoping that she wasn't set up for failure.
Come showtime, her projection was a bit hit and miss in lower registers. Once at mid and higher registers, her singing was damn near perfect for her. Towards the end it did seem like she was dropping the lyrics but her performance felt very inspired.
Fifth for Pharrell, Riley Biederer. She ended up singing "Should've Been You" by Tori Kelly. -_- Pharrell...hunny...do you secretly hate your contestants this season? Why would you give someone a Tori Kelly song? That's very hateful and you're normally made of world peace and 7Eleven Slurpees.
Come showtime, her vibe was right but her singing seemed like she was trying to make this a country ballad. O_- Pop artists tend to run the risk of deviating to a style of sound that doesn't suit them and country anything is NOT meant for Riley. Apart from that, confidence could carry her but that's if she gets enough votes to pull an upset.
Closing out the Live Playoffs for Pharrell, Mark Hood. He ended up singing "What Do You Mean?" by He Who Inspired Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. -____________- This poor song choice seems contestant driven but Pharrell still earns ire for this song choice not being barred.
Come showtime, this did not exactly reek of suck. While his tone was a bit uneven and at times strained and forced, he still sang better than Justin Bieber (Though All T, All Shade; that bar is about as high as a Mormon.) Mark is probably going to move on because of Voice Voter Stupidity but at least he defied lowered expectations by remembering the lyrics.
[By the way, Blake brought back Nadjah Nicole and I again could smell rage from other recappers who had overrated-gasms for Krista Hughes. It smelled like Potpourri and world peace.]
All in all, there's a 50/50 chance that S9 could end before the Top 12 and I am NOT. HAPPY.
Up next for scrutiny, the Results of the Live Playoffs.
Monday, November 9, 2015
The Voice S9: If I Wanted My Comeback...
The NBC Program with Ratings has pulled a stunt that is simply meant to fuck with everyone this season. APPARENTLY, this is the season to bring back "robbed" contestants as it was just announced that the show would allow each coach to bring back one artist that was gypped from either the Battle or Knockout rounds.
Here's MY thoughts on this twist; it is so full of shit, the toilet's jealous. This season is progressing in the right direction as overrated and terrible contestants have been eliminated early (even if the likes of that goddamn Jordan Smith, Viktor Kiraly, Korin Bukowski and really anyone else that is not of the few favorites I have left.) and now it could go to shit.
Most of the predictions as to who they could bring back [from Lyndsey Parker of Yahoo! Music fame and recapping site MJSBIGBLOG alike] leave me concerned with exception of bringing back Tim Atlas of Team Pharrell (Though Pharrell could fuck up and bring back Siahna Im instead of Tim and pull a Sugar Joans ALL. OVER. AGAIN.)
I normally don't care about Team Blake, but the expectation/reality is allowing Krista Hughes to come back. Oh great; ANOTHER overrated singer looking to annoy me with plainness. I'll hate it less than I did with Sawyer Fredericks but if she's back, OH. GOD. another overrated contestant could send my favorites home.
As for Teams Adam and Gwen, it's a toss-up and a weird wanting of Ellie Lawrence to come back respectively. -_________-
So let's witness the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery, FlirtCruiting, questionable song choices and last minute shenanigans that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on!
***NOTE: So right when I got home, word is all but Team Pharrell's comeback contestants are from the Knockout rounds...XD
***NOTE 2: Tonight is Team Adam and Team Gwen night.
Here's MY thoughts on this twist; it is so full of shit, the toilet's jealous. This season is progressing in the right direction as overrated and terrible contestants have been eliminated early (even if the likes of that goddamn Jordan Smith, Viktor Kiraly, Korin Bukowski and really anyone else that is not of the few favorites I have left.) and now it could go to shit.
Most of the predictions as to who they could bring back [from Lyndsey Parker of Yahoo! Music fame and recapping site MJSBIGBLOG alike] leave me concerned with exception of bringing back Tim Atlas of Team Pharrell (Though Pharrell could fuck up and bring back Siahna Im instead of Tim and pull a Sugar Joans ALL. OVER. AGAIN.)
I normally don't care about Team Blake, but the expectation/reality is allowing Krista Hughes to come back. Oh great; ANOTHER overrated singer looking to annoy me with plainness. I'll hate it less than I did with Sawyer Fredericks but if she's back, OH. GOD. another overrated contestant could send my favorites home.
As for Teams Adam and Gwen, it's a toss-up and a weird wanting of Ellie Lawrence to come back respectively. -_________-
So let's witness the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery, FlirtCruiting, questionable song choices and last minute shenanigans that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on!
***NOTE: So right when I got home, word is all but Team Pharrell's comeback contestants are from the Knockout rounds...XD
***NOTE 2: Tonight is Team Adam and Team Gwen night.
Monday, November 2, 2015
The Voice S9: Early RIH-tirement
Tonight, another installation of the NBC Program with Ratings in which contestants are narrowed down to teams "fit" enough at least one live performance (Or God forbid, Universal Records acting like they like you only to drop you faster than a bad habit.) Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Gwen and Pharrell get to chopping left and right [and I'm hoping for less wrong].
The favorites that are TBD: Tim Atlas, Regina Love, Evan McKeel and Shelby Brown.
These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on!
The favorites that are TBD: Tim Atlas, Regina Love, Evan McKeel and Shelby Brown.
These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on!
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
The Voice S9: RIH-fresher Course
The Rihanna puns will stop when the NBC Program with Ratings produce a Kelly Clarkson of their own...or when the Knockouts end. Whichever comes first...-_-
After yesterday's aired showing [and alleged T/Tea that Ellie Lawrence had laryngitis the day of her Knockouts...-_-], Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Gwen and Pharrell continue narrowing down their teams to Live Playoff presentation.
In favorites corner, Madi Davis survived and now Regina Love, Evan McKeel, Tim Atlas and Shelby Brown await their fates.
These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on! *NOTE: It's fresh as a flower in roughly an hour because that tubid game show is on again. Goddamn Neil Patrick Harris...*
First up, Korin Bukowski vs. Summer Schappell of Team Gwen. Korin picked "All I Want" by Kodaline. STAY AWAY FROM DEANNA JOHNSON'S SONG YOU UNWORTHY WRETCH. Summer picked "Little White Church" by Little Big Town. Rehearsals indicate Korin was still ~quirky~/uncomfortable with existing...oh and nerves were screwing with her already underdeveloped singing. Summer was apparently trying to be "sassy" with a country song. Miscasting on fleek as Summer...has no personality in or outside of singing.
Come showtime, Korin was less ~quirky~ and more bearable graded against herself. Keeping with contestants, she's still terrible. Plus most of her notes sounded monotonous on top of being botched as fuck. Summer did end up possessing some hammy theatrics, but her singing was awful. Sans fuckery, Gwen picked Korin as the winner. Summer was not stolen and was booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Second, Dustin Christensen vs. Keith Semple of Team Adam.
Dustin picked "Free" by Zac Brown Band. Keith picked "I Want To Know What Love Is" by Foreigner. -_- Rehearsals indicate Dustin was trying to incorporate "genre-hopping" into his identity. Rihanna in turn called out vibrato on Dustin and telling him when to use it. Keith was given technical notes to hit but arena rock selection made me tune out like it was my job to.
Come showtime, Dustin pulled an Austin Jenckes of being consistent but being COMPLETELY BORING; a death knell on the show if there's always one constant thing about it. Keith played off of the fact that his song selection "resonates" with people in the cheapest way [no effort given but wanting people to make noise? VERY ~arena rock!~] Sans fuckery, Adam picked Keith as the winner. Dustin is not stolen and is given the boot from S9.
Finally, Darius Scott vs. Morgan Frazier of Team Pharrell. Darius picked "On Broadway" by The Drifters & George Benson. Morgan picked "Even If It Breaks Your Heart" by Eli Young Band. Rehearsals indicate Darius went ahead with a song "in his wheelhouse" like people should. Yet, his potential was clocked for seeming like he was resting on his laurels. Morgan was being clocked for being too stiff/being a perfectionist in vocals with some personality critiques as well.
Come showtime, Darius sounded like he had more "pizzazz" but it still came across so low-energy. Still his soulfulness carried him for 2/3 of the performance. Morgan sounded less boring than she had in the past, but she still sounds beige especially for a country aspiring act. Sans fuckery, Pharrell picked Darius as the winner. Last Knockout means the steal was used and Blake used it on Morgan.
All in all, no favorites competed so I really didn't give a fuck about these contestants. OH WELL.
Up next for scrutiny, Part III of The Knockouts.
After yesterday's aired showing [and alleged T/Tea that Ellie Lawrence had laryngitis the day of her Knockouts...-_-], Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Gwen and Pharrell continue narrowing down their teams to Live Playoff presentation.
In favorites corner, Madi Davis survived and now Regina Love, Evan McKeel, Tim Atlas and Shelby Brown await their fates.
These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on! *NOTE: It's fresh as a flower in roughly an hour because that tubid game show is on again. Goddamn Neil Patrick Harris...*
First up, Korin Bukowski vs. Summer Schappell of Team Gwen. Korin picked "All I Want" by Kodaline. STAY AWAY FROM DEANNA JOHNSON'S SONG YOU UNWORTHY WRETCH. Summer picked "Little White Church" by Little Big Town. Rehearsals indicate Korin was still ~quirky~/uncomfortable with existing...oh and nerves were screwing with her already underdeveloped singing. Summer was apparently trying to be "sassy" with a country song. Miscasting on fleek as Summer...has no personality in or outside of singing.
Come showtime, Korin was less ~quirky~ and more bearable graded against herself. Keeping with contestants, she's still terrible. Plus most of her notes sounded monotonous on top of being botched as fuck. Summer did end up possessing some hammy theatrics, but her singing was awful. Sans fuckery, Gwen picked Korin as the winner. Summer was not stolen and was booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Second, Dustin Christensen vs. Keith Semple of Team Adam.
Dustin picked "Free" by Zac Brown Band. Keith picked "I Want To Know What Love Is" by Foreigner. -_- Rehearsals indicate Dustin was trying to incorporate "genre-hopping" into his identity. Rihanna in turn called out vibrato on Dustin and telling him when to use it. Keith was given technical notes to hit but arena rock selection made me tune out like it was my job to.
Come showtime, Dustin pulled an Austin Jenckes of being consistent but being COMPLETELY BORING; a death knell on the show if there's always one constant thing about it. Keith played off of the fact that his song selection "resonates" with people in the cheapest way [no effort given but wanting people to make noise? VERY ~arena rock!~] Sans fuckery, Adam picked Keith as the winner. Dustin is not stolen and is given the boot from S9.
Finally, Darius Scott vs. Morgan Frazier of Team Pharrell. Darius picked "On Broadway" by The Drifters & George Benson. Morgan picked "Even If It Breaks Your Heart" by Eli Young Band. Rehearsals indicate Darius went ahead with a song "in his wheelhouse" like people should. Yet, his potential was clocked for seeming like he was resting on his laurels. Morgan was being clocked for being too stiff/being a perfectionist in vocals with some personality critiques as well.
Come showtime, Darius sounded like he had more "pizzazz" but it still came across so low-energy. Still his soulfulness carried him for 2/3 of the performance. Morgan sounded less boring than she had in the past, but she still sounds beige especially for a country aspiring act. Sans fuckery, Pharrell picked Darius as the winner. Last Knockout means the steal was used and Blake used it on Morgan.
All in all, no favorites competed so I really didn't give a fuck about these contestants. OH WELL.
Up next for scrutiny, Part III of The Knockouts.
Monday, October 26, 2015
The Voice S9: Serving Up RIH-freshments
[This marks the 250th post for the blog; YAY!]
In terms of "big names" in the music industry, the NBC Program with Ratings struck platinum and gold when it was revealed that Rihanna was this season's Knockout Rounds advisor. In terms of live singers with the technical skills, they got a big name that's cool with the kids these days -_-
Despite that, I among the masochistic viewers of the show are wondering just how the hell 2+2=4 in this applied context. How can Rihanna help Mr. and Mr. Shevine*, Gwen and Pharrell narrow down their teams for the Playoff rounds [since it's probably not live anymore until the Top 12]?
*For the record, the only artist that's sung anything with Rihanna was Adam back when Maroon 5 released a publicity stunt remix and music video for "If I Never See Your Face Again" back in 2010/2011.*
The favorites left since the Battle Rounds? Regina Love [Gwen], Tim Atlas [Pharrell], Madi Davis [Pharrell], Evan McKeel [Pharrell] and Shelby Brown [Adam]. Yup, this could be a short recapping season and then some...O_O These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on!
In terms of "big names" in the music industry, the NBC Program with Ratings struck platinum and gold when it was revealed that Rihanna was this season's Knockout Rounds advisor. In terms of live singers with the technical skills, they got a big name that's cool with the kids these days -_-
Despite that, I among the masochistic viewers of the show are wondering just how the hell 2+2=4 in this applied context. How can Rihanna help Mr. and Mr. Shevine*, Gwen and Pharrell narrow down their teams for the Playoff rounds [since it's probably not live anymore until the Top 12]?
*For the record, the only artist that's sung anything with Rihanna was Adam back when Maroon 5 released a publicity stunt remix and music video for "If I Never See Your Face Again" back in 2010/2011.*
The favorites left since the Battle Rounds? Regina Love [Gwen], Tim Atlas [Pharrell], Madi Davis [Pharrell], Evan McKeel [Pharrell] and Shelby Brown [Adam]. Yup, this could be a short recapping season and then some...O_O These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on!
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
The Voice S9: Three's Too Little Company
Normally, I'd be way snarkier and feign investment but today is weird and I can't. In other words, I have "Battles Fatigue".
Here's the montaged nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...
Whoop de fucking doo...
First, Amanda Ayala vs. Shelby Brown of Team Adam. They were assigned "Edge of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks. GROSS; BAN THIS SONG FROM LIFE. Also, both contestants are under 20 by at least 5 years or so [maybe]. MISCASTING on every level. Rehearsals indicate that Amanda had the genre advantage but Shelby had the technical advantage despite timing issues.
Come showtime, the unison vocals sounded resonant but not controlled. Amanda sounded less developed than Shelby who managed to overcome the timing issues and seem more natural. Sans fuckery, Adam ended up picking Shelby as the winner. Not last battle means Amanda was booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEE.
Second, Amy Vachal vs. Jubal & Amanda of Team Pharrell. They were assigned "To Love Somebody" by Bee Gees. Rehearsals indicate Missy Elliott is perhaps the most disappointing mentor yet. Does she need Katy Perry to open up for her to come alive in 2015? Also, 2 vs. 1/harmony vs. alleged raw talent...zzzzzzz.
Come showtime, Amy's vocals were still breathy but less insufferable than her audition. Jubal sounded nasal and twangy while Amanda sounded resonant but without control. Together, it was a bum note or 5 away from being soundclash.
Sans fuckery, Pharrell ended up picking Amy as the winner. Not last battle means Jubal & Amanda were booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
MONTAGE VICTIMS [Go to hell, Neil Patrick Harris]:
- Daria Jazmin vs. Darius Scott of Team Pharrell. Darius ended up winning.
- Cole Criskie vs. Nadjah Nicole of Team Blake. Nadjah ended up winning.
- Hanna Ashbrook vs. Summer Schappell of Team Gwen. Summer ended up winning.
Better luck in the knockouts (Mainly because none of you are Rebekah Samarin.)
Closing out the battles of S9, Emily Ann Roberts vs. Morgan Frazier of Team Blake. They were assigned "I'm That Kind of Girl" by Patty Loveless. Rehearsals indicate that the winner would be who could give a "modern" take on a song by someone named Patty Loveless. Come showtime, Emily sounded too meek while Morgan sounded too wahey and dare I say...karaoke. That resulted in both of them sounding mediocre.
Sans fuckery, Blake ended up picking Emily Ann as the winner. Last battle means Pharrell uses his last steal on Morgan. -_- GURL. BYE. How dare you.
All in all, today was weird & I'll be back in fighting form next week.
Up next for scrutiny, Part I of the Knockouts.
Here's the montaged nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...
Whoop de fucking doo...
First, Amanda Ayala vs. Shelby Brown of Team Adam. They were assigned "Edge of Seventeen" by Stevie Nicks. GROSS; BAN THIS SONG FROM LIFE. Also, both contestants are under 20 by at least 5 years or so [maybe]. MISCASTING on every level. Rehearsals indicate that Amanda had the genre advantage but Shelby had the technical advantage despite timing issues.
Come showtime, the unison vocals sounded resonant but not controlled. Amanda sounded less developed than Shelby who managed to overcome the timing issues and seem more natural. Sans fuckery, Adam ended up picking Shelby as the winner. Not last battle means Amanda was booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEE.
Second, Amy Vachal vs. Jubal & Amanda of Team Pharrell. They were assigned "To Love Somebody" by Bee Gees. Rehearsals indicate Missy Elliott is perhaps the most disappointing mentor yet. Does she need Katy Perry to open up for her to come alive in 2015? Also, 2 vs. 1/harmony vs. alleged raw talent...zzzzzzz.
Come showtime, Amy's vocals were still breathy but less insufferable than her audition. Jubal sounded nasal and twangy while Amanda sounded resonant but without control. Together, it was a bum note or 5 away from being soundclash.
Sans fuckery, Pharrell ended up picking Amy as the winner. Not last battle means Jubal & Amanda were booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
MONTAGE VICTIMS [Go to hell, Neil Patrick Harris]:
- Daria Jazmin vs. Darius Scott of Team Pharrell. Darius ended up winning.
- Cole Criskie vs. Nadjah Nicole of Team Blake. Nadjah ended up winning.
- Hanna Ashbrook vs. Summer Schappell of Team Gwen. Summer ended up winning.
Better luck in the knockouts (Mainly because none of you are Rebekah Samarin.)
Closing out the battles of S9, Emily Ann Roberts vs. Morgan Frazier of Team Blake. They were assigned "I'm That Kind of Girl" by Patty Loveless. Rehearsals indicate that the winner would be who could give a "modern" take on a song by someone named Patty Loveless. Come showtime, Emily sounded too meek while Morgan sounded too wahey and dare I say...karaoke. That resulted in both of them sounding mediocre.
Sans fuckery, Blake ended up picking Emily Ann as the winner. Last battle means Pharrell uses his last steal on Morgan. -_- GURL. BYE. How dare you.
All in all, today was weird & I'll be back in fighting form next week.
Up next for scrutiny, Part I of the Knockouts.
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