Monday, November 2, 2015

The Voice S9: Early RIH-tirement

Tonight, another installation of the NBC Program with Ratings in which contestants are narrowed down to teams "fit" enough at least one live performance (Or God forbid, Universal Records acting like they like you only to drop you faster than a bad habit.) Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Gwen and Pharrell get to chopping left and right [and I'm hoping for less wrong].

The favorites that are TBD: Tim Atlas, Regina Love, Evan McKeel and Shelby Brown.

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, banter, marklar, fuckery, FlirtCruiting and questionable song choices that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First up, James Dupre vs. Shelby Brown of Team Adam. Shelby picked "Jesus Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. James picked "Sure Be Cool If You Did" by Blake Shelton. -_- BYE FELICIA. Rehearsals indicate this was Shelby "finally" singing country. Hurdles included self-esteem, control and stage presence. James' stiffness was the biggest hurdle he was called out on [apart from sounding just as dated as Blake's music.]
Come showtime, Shelby was able to apply Rihanna's coaching notes and simply put; slay the damn stage. James sounded twice as dated in his rehearsals and simply...sucked. Sans fuckery, Adam ended up picking Shelby to win. James is not stolen and is booted from S9.

Second, Mark Hood vs. Siahna Im of Team Pharrell. Mark picked "Stand by Me" by Ben E. King. Siahna picked "Back to Black" by Amy Winehouse. Rehearsals indicate Mark has contemporary/current buildup on his side. His biggest critique is timing and restraint. Siahna was told not to be so "airy" or thin with most of her singing.
Come showtime, Mark restrained sounded boring at first before realizing this was him taking notes from Pharrell and Rihanna and applying it; granted his lower-registers were bum as fuck and his Ne-Yo style spin move was unneeded. Siahna...bless her for remembering the lyrics, but her singing was awful. Most of the beginning was reading as "petulant 15 year old" as opposed to someone with talent. On top of that, there wasn't a truly resonant belt in her entire. performance. Sans fuckery, Pharrell ended up picking Mark to win. Siahna is not stolen and is booted from S9. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Third, Jeffery Austin vs. Kota Wade of Team Gwen. Jeffrey picked "Turning Tables" by Adele. Kota picked "Barracuda" by Heart. NOT FOR YOU. You are not worthy of that song. Rehearsals indicate Jeffery was pulling from inspiration but needed to "round" his voice. Kota was told to not compromise her tone just to be all "rawk" with her voice.
Come showtime, Jeffery was almost giving "Ginger Sam Smith" vibes but then he started to improve. Theatrics are on his side "6 years later". Kota remembered the words and even then she was terrible throughout. Sans fuckery, Gwen ended up picking Jeffery to win. Kota is not stolen and is booted from S9.

Fourth, Emily Ann Roberts vs. Nadjah Nicole of Team Blake. Emily picked "Cowboy Take Me Away" by Dixie Chicks. Nadjah picked "A Woman's Worth" by Alicia Keys. O_O UH-OH. The curse of Alicia Keys is about to claim another victim. Rehearsals indicate Emily had a lot of work to do vocally. Blake and Rihanna wanted Emily to not bail on the "money notes". Nadjah was told to conquer her nerves and try to not be as stiff.
Come showtime, Emily showcased something related to personality while singing, but still seemed subdued and boring. Nadjah was giving her swan song; despite it being her best, compared with Emily's country self, Nadjah had no real chance. However, she at least delivered one of the most successful money notes in Knockout history. Sans fuckery, Blake ended up picking Emily to win. Nadjah is not stolen and is booted from S9.

Zach Seabaugh won over Chris Crump when this Team Blake battle was MONTAGED. -_- Not quite the Rebekah Samarin montage experience but OH. GOD.

Fifth, Evan McKeel vs. Tim Atlas of Team Pharrell. DAMN. Favorites of mine got pitted against each other. Evan picked "Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot. Tim picked "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia. O_O Song choice matters and Tim seems fucked. Rehearsals indicate Evan pulled a reversal of the guitar dilemma; he was actually encouraged to play the guitar until Rihanna pointed out that the guitar was a crutch. Tim was told to play up his awkwardness as in musician, it can translate to something amazing.
Come showtime, Evan was under the impression this song showed depth instead of just a showcase for his vocals. He sounded great but in terms of genre, this is not a sign of depth in any circumstance. Tim...good LORDE that was rough and a half. Potential shined every now and then but GOOD. GOD. was it like pulling teeth. Sans fuckery, Pharrell ended up picking Evan to win. Tim is not stolen and is booted from S9.

Finally, Regina Love vs. Riley Biederer of Team Gwen. Regina picked "Midnight Train to Georgia" by Gladys Knight & The Pips. Riley picked "XO" by Beyonce. -_- HOW DARE YOU. PICK A GOOD BEYONCE SONG. Rehearsals indicate Regina was in need of smoothing out of vocals and take creative license without seeming conflicted. Riley was told to not overdo the "sass" factor in her performing.
Come showtime, Riley...was partially overshadowed by an instance of REVERB on the audio. -_- Apart from that, she was inoffensive despite the poor song choice. Regina was simply amazing and not overdone. WURQ MAMMAW! Sans fuckery, Gwen ended up picking Regina to win. Pharrell used his last steal [in last battle/round tradition] on Riley.

All in all, 4 favorites survived the Knockouts! My season isn't going to be short. YAY

Up next for scrutiny, The Live Playoffs Part I.

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