[Tonight's episode recap doubles as a Spanish lesson. Doce is Spanish for the number 12. There's 12 left even though only Anita is the good one left. : )]
Last week's results show had me pissed off something wicked. The declaration is in tact but is yet to be enforced. Please vote for Anita Antoinette so I can like one person who's won the show. Now for the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery, FlirtCruiting & poor decision making that transpired...
Let's play rough and get it on!
First up, Sugar Joans of Team Pharrell. She ended up singing "Take me To the River" by Al Green. Rehearsals indicate that at least Sugar was aware that without Pharrell's lack of logic, her ass would've been done. Come showtime, Sugar's singing sounds even worse than in previous weeks. Strained notes and half baked growls made this horrible to listen to. Also, in terms of looks she now has her version of weird hats. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Second, Ryan Sill of Team Gwen. He ended up singing "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran. Rehearsals indicate that Gwen was trying add some cinnamon to the VANILLA Sill. Apparently, self-doubt was also plaguing him. Come showtime, he was given the James Dean styling Gwen must've inferred. -_- Yet Ryan was still a touch too peppy for a Duran Duran song further proving Gwen is not the smartest coach. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Third, Jessie Pitts of Team Blake. She ended up singing "Don’t You Worry Child" by Swedish House Mafia. Rehearsals indicate that Jessie is trying to turn a lump of coal into a cubic zirconia. Come showtime, she was decent as she could be with the song. Then once the band kicked in...that's when the performance went South. Passport and all. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Fourth, Damien of Team Adam. He ended up singing "He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother" by The Hollies. Rehearsals indicate that for all of his emotive content, this song is apparently tough as shit. See, this is one of those "challenging self" song picks. Come showtime, the vibe threw everything off. It didn't come across like an R&B singer looking to break mainstream. It felt like a church service and that's fine if he was looking to break into Gospel through the show, but he's R&B. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Fifth, DaNica Shirey of Team Pharrell. She ended up singing "Creep" by Radiohead. Rehearsals indicate that she might be setting herself up for self imposed destruction. So much clash in style that it takes immense talent to make it right. Come showtime, the clash was less blaring than I thought even though she tried to add some Mariah Carey notes to it. By the way, to the stage design crew for DaNica, you are fired. That fan setup looks so cheap. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Sixth, Taylor John Williams of Team Gwen. He and that damn hat of his ended up singing "If" by Bread. Rehearsals indicate that Gwen wanted this to be a "risk" for him. Also, he was told to not throw away lyrics. Come showtime, the butterflies in the background had me hooked...oh him. Some of the notes were just bum and not even close to decent. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Seventh, Reagan James of Team Blake. She ended up singing "It Ain’t Over til it’s Over" by Lenny Kravitz. Rehearsals indicate nothing other than she's the youngest one left. Shut up about her age, show. Come showtime, the arrangement was so off from the kind of sassy white girl thing Reagan is good at. Granted the band and the crowd and band sounded louder than her. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Eighth, Luke Wade of Team Pharrell. He ended up singing "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran. This is like typecasting and eye hope I'm not the only one who thinks that. Rehearsals indicate he needs to loosen up again. Come showtime, he kept looking like he screwed up in his head and at one point, he missed a cue. Like, he was feeling like shit afterward. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Ninth, Matt McAndrew of Team Adam. He ended up singing "Take Me to Church" by Hozier. Rehearsals indicate he needed to adjust for this "different" song. Whatever; I'd never heard of it until tonight. Come showtime, it was not something worth reliving especially that cheap little bowing at the end. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Tenth, Craig Wayne Boyd of Team Blake. He ended up singing "You Look So Good in Love" by George Strait. Rehearsals indicate that country is his bag. I appreciate the fact that he's hot. Come showtime, he sounded committed to his bag. Really, country artists don't necessarily have an arc of growth. They're measured more so on consistency and anybody that listens to country is bound to have a better thought of this than me. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Eleventh, Chris Jamison of Team Adam. He ended up singing "Jealous" by Nick Jonas. Boot him for song choice. Rehearsals indicate that his falsetto (which can't be hit by him) is his biggest obstacle. Come showtime, for all the purple color scheme this was just beige. Plus, his falsettos still sound horrid. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
Closing out the Top 12, Anita Antoinette of Team Gwen. They ended up singing "Redemption Song" by Bob Marley. ANOTHER Bob Marley song? GURL, you need to switch shit up. You're my last hope. Don't pigeonhole yourself. Rehearsals indicate that the original key was too high at first. Come showtime, some of her mid to low registers brought about the Lauryn Hill vibes she has and needs to maintain. With their decisions thus far, ask yourself if I care what the coaches have to say. -_-
All in all, Anita better survive or S7 is by default the worst season yet.
Up next for scrutiny, the Results of the Top 12 performances.
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