Tuesday, March 4, 2014

The Voice U.S. S6 Recap: What You're Looking Four

[Today's title is inspired by S3 standout Cody Belew and his post Voice debut effort What You're Looking For which is available for purchase now at codybelew.com. *Shameless plug* For those who thought it was a slant against British spelling...nice try, but you're on time for the short bus.]

Tonight, the coaches continue to build their teams of 12 trying to earn bragging rights and mentor relatively new music acts into the mainstream audience. Adam, Shakira, Usher and Blake continue in their Romper Room Fuckery and these are the nouns, gerunds, pronouns and marklar that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First for this episode, Megan Ruger. She has an umlaut in her name and because my keyboard does not have an umlaut key, I have to say she has an umlaut in her name. UMLAUT! She's a rocker chick who's a glutton for punishment/resident of Nashville, TN. Why? Her "rawk" stuff couldn't make her stand out in L.A. Kind of logical but girl; Nashville and rock go together like water putting out an electrical fire. She auditions with "Just Like a Pill" by P!nk. Good song choice, but the chick was way too nasal for that song. "Rawker" thing aside, she seems like a wasted potential contestant. Gut instinct, y'all. Last minute turns from Usher and Blake save her from the reject pile of S6. After some nostalgia shade from Blake to Usher over his "Nashville is a state" crap, she picks Blake as her coach. Now I don't have to care about her or SiSaundra either. : )

Second, Morgan Wallen. The name alone spelled country bait to me. Turns out he was offered a record deal at a young age, but his Mom said no; because she wanted him to be a normal kid. Cut past some baseball human interest story thing, he auditions with "Collide" by Howie K. Day. Shakira must've heard angels having sex to turn around in about 1-5 seconds. Usher joined in and both he and Shaki just went at it trying to woo him. Mr. and Mr. Shevine on the other hand had a sweet moment. Sitting in laps equals love. Singing wise of this teenage marketing cute, Morgan? Not anything to write home about. Yeah, he's raspy for a dude; however, he might be lucky to have a coach side with him in the Battle Rounds...All T, All Shade. He ends up picking Usher as his coach.

Third, James Cavern. His beef is a recurring trope of Asian households; parents not approving of a career in the arts. He auditions with "Let's Get it On" by Marvin Gaye. He was awful. So many bum notes emitted; what a miscasting of a song especially when you consider he picked that song. The coaches end up not turning for him and that makes sense. Good luck James. Take singing lessons and try again in the future.

For whatever reason, Dani Moz [Shakira], Music Box [Shakira] and Lexi Luca [Blake] all got the Boring People Montage. OK, I wanted to know how Music Box got her name and you didn't entertain that, NBC? Shame on you.

Fourth, Emily B. Thank God for a simple name. Her human interest story is a surgery she had removing a growth from her eye. She auditions with "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak. Damn on risk factor alone, girl. All but Adam turned for her; that I can understand. She does not have the shiver thing he does. Kidding; she's decent but a bit too loud for a haunting song like "Wicked Game". After some ol' bullshit romper room fuckery, she ends up picking Shakira to be her coach.

Fifth, Stevie Jo. His thing is that he was being metal turning into R&B/Soul. Interesting transition to say the least. He auditions with "There Goes My Baby" by Usher. O_O. He sounded way too subdued for a coach's song in my opinion. Usher however, loved it and was the only one to turn. The coaches were all like "WHOA; you're white". Uh, James Massone from S2 anyone? Stevie Jo ends up on Team Usher by default.

REJECT MONTAGE! Better luck in the future. Next!

Closing out the 4th round of Blind Auditions, Audra McLaughlin. Her thing is having been put in special classes in school then turning into a medical student with singing as a passion (A lot to take in, I know). She auditions with "Angel from Montgomery" by Bonnie Raitt. Despite the country bait of Bonnie Raitt, Adam starts the 4 chair turn domino effect. Things between the coaches were a touch too Romper Room for my liking. After that, she ends up picking Blake as her coach.

All in all, with maybe another episode of auditions to come, no coach is even close to thinking they have this in the bag. The singers are capable (And in some cases incapable like a motherfucker) of anything and any one of them could switch this season on its head.

Up next for scrutiny, Part V of the Blind Auditions.

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