Tuesday, April 1, 2014

The Voice U.S. S6 Recap: The Outlet Store II: Chinatown Knockoff Sequeloo

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These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds and marklar that transpired in the Knockoffs Round 2: Get on Down to Chinatown...

Let's play rough and get it on! *PROGRAMMING Note: It's only an hour so battles 3-5 may or most likely will get montaged.*

First, Biff Gore V.S. HRFH -3.0 of Team Blake. They agreed on singing "It's a Man's Man's Man's World" by James Brown. Biff's legitimate soul inspiration and HRFH -3.0 being the overrated one she is was expected to sing page 16 of the phone book are the highlights of the rehearsals.The battle commenced again and the crowd proceeded to lose their shit. Their reaction was something to the effect of being saved by Jesus. After Coach's Corner had a small hope from Usher picking Biff (Where the hell were you for the FIRST Battle?!), Blake declared HRFH -3.0 the winner of the Battle...again. -_- Biff is not stolen and is eliminated. The HRFH dynasty continues.

Second, Deja Hall V.S. Ddendyl of Team Shakira. They agreed on singing "Say Something" by A Great Big World ft. X-Tina. Rehearsals have both singers being even in terms of singing but Deja gets the emotive crap again. Shut the fuck up; Deja can sing. Stage presence V.S. emotion is the sub battle title. The battle commenced again and Ddendyl tried to do the Regina Spektor thing of breathiness too much while Deja was subtle but fantastic. After Coach's Corner acknowledged the show made the song they sang relevant (Don't look at me like that. Did you ever hear that group before they performed or even collaborated with X-Tina?), Shaki declared Deja the winner of the Battle...again. Ddendyl is not stolen and is eliminated from the competition ("It breaks my hear-ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-ar-arrrrrt" That was a Regina Spektor joke).

(M) Third, Emily B. V.S. Kristen Merlin of Team Shaki. They agreed on singing "I Can Love You Better" by The Dixie Chicks. Shaki declared Kristen the winner of the Battle...again. Sorry you got montaged again, gurl.

Finally, Stevie Jo V.S. Morgan Wallen of Team Usher. These two got to know each other through filming and got the "BFF FIGHTING EDIT; SADFACE : (" They agreed on singing "Story of My Life" by One Direction. DOUBLE ELIMINATION AT ONCE! [Sorry; a cough.] Morgan's weird attempt at Chris Isaak breath/shivering singing and Stevie's lower registers are called upon for improvement. The battle commenced again Stevie sounded the cleanest he had yet while Morgan did his best to not "Chris Isaak". The rest of the battle would be more in Stevie's favor as Usher grimaced at one point during Morgan's performance. After Coach's Corner had a typical but nice diss of One Direction by Adam, Usher declared Stevie Jo the winner of the Battle...again. A steal is used on Morgan by Adam. Good job Adam -_-

O_o Wait a goddamn minute...there were only 4 Battles and a montage was still used? This is how we call in the business...some ol' bullshit.

All in all, the Knockoffs continue to drop in price...of dignity.

Next up for scrutiny, the Knockoffs Part III

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