Monday, March 16, 2015

The Voice S8: Battle Wounds

Tonight's episode of the NBC Program with Ratings refers to the fact that some of the battles from last night had horrible outcomes. Namely, Pharrell getting rid of Meghan Linsey for Paul Pfau -_- Even worse, Meghan has been demoted in terms of favorites to just there for picking Blake as her new coach. -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- 

Yet oddly enough, Hannah Kirby ascended into contender territory by earning the best career move ever; Blake being tone deaf and not believing in her (Thanks, Blake. I actually mean that even if Sarah Potenza is still around. -_-) and picking Pharrell as her new coach. The journey of Mr. and Mr. Shevine, Xtina and Apparent President of the Paul Pfau fanclub, Pharrell continues in the hopes that somebody from the show can do the impossible; at least sell more than the past 5 winners of American Idol become the Kelly Clarkson this show needs.

These are the nouns, pronouns, gerunds, marklar, banter, fuckery and FlirtCruiting that transpired...

Let's play rough and get it on!

First up, Briar Jonnee vs. Caitlin Caporale of Team Pharrell. They were assigned "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys. Rehearsals indicate Caitlin was consistent from audition to now and Briar had improved from her audition and then some. Caitlin was called out for not giving full potential and Briar was tasked with giving eye contact.
Come showtime, Briar showed continued improvement which is rare for a lot of contestants. Caitlin while not bad, hit a series of bum notes in a crucial vocal run/riff/trill. Pharrell ends up picking Caitlin to take to the next round. -_- Briar isn't stolen and ends up getting the boot from S8.
[Pharrell only booted Briar to prevent Xtina from stealing Caitlin. I SEE YOU Pharrell].

Second, Barry Minniefield vs. Jack Gregori of Team Adam. They were assigned "Feelin' Alright" by Joe Cocker. Rehearsals indicate Jack's voice is good now but is tasked with giving more of his potential. Barry had trouble with the timing but is still giving more of his potential. Come showtime, Jack sounded improved but Barry sounded amazing. Both had palatable levels of soul-adjacent vocals to them but Barry just won it for me and anybody not tone-deaf. Adam ends up picking Barry to take to the next round.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS Adam; redeem yourself! Jack is not stolen and gets the boot from S8.

Third, Katelyn Read vs. Treeva Gibson of Team Xtina. They were assigned "Addicted to Love" as done by Florence + the Machine . Rehearsals indicate that both of them have work to do to make the performance cohesive. Then, both were chided for not being emotionally connected to the song (Judith Hill, Tessanne Chin and Sisaundra Lewis can be robotic and heartless though? -_-)
Come showtime, Treeva started off fantastic while Katelyn was too breath-issue laden. Treeva continued her fantastic singing while Katelyn proceeded to hit a shitload of bum notes. Xtina ends up picking Treeva to take to the next round. DUH. Lana Del Rey is life and she hath blessed Treeva.
Katelyn is not stolen and gets the boot from S8.

Fourth, Kimberly Nichole vs. Lowell Oakley of Team Pharrell. They were assigned "Hound Dog" [the original; not the Elvis version]. Rehearsals indicate a lot of fire vs. ice commentary. Kimberly is told to get out of her head and put the the finale. Lowell surprised Pharrell with worlds of alleged potential. Come showtime, Kimberly improved from her audition while Lowell sounded like Bronson Pinchot; All T, All Shade.
Kimberly's improvement solidified a reluctant win. Pharrell ends up picking Lowell to take to the next round (After acting like this was some Sophie's Choice realness -_-). Say hello to last place Pharrell.
Xtina ends up stealing Kimberly and she gets another chance.

Fifth, Brenna Yaeger vs. Kelsie May of Team Blake. They were assigned "Fancy" by Reba McEntire. Rehearsals indicate Brenna's nerves were screwing with her potential while Kelsie just sounded bland. They both were given the "Zazz it up!" critique [meaning "Don't be boring!"] Come showtime, they sounded the same and that wasn't a good thing. I could not tell them apart (And was wondering why they didn't get montaged.) Blake ends up picking Kelsie to take to the next round. There was one contestant anyway so...kewl n' stuffs. Brenna is not stolen and got the boot from S8.

Finally, Clinton Washington vs. India Carney of Team Xtina. They were assigned "Stay" by Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko [even though he wasn't needed]. Rehearsals indicate that this was playing in India's favor and deservedly so; India was given the "Don't be robotic; commit to this" critique. -_- Even worse, Nick Jonas said she needs to improve her presence. Dude, how about improving your singing? Come showtime, India started off with some alluring vocals before it was required that Clinton emit vocals of his own. -_-
As the battle progressed, India simply arranged the nails in Clinton's coffin for this battle. Xtina ends up picking India to take to the next round. DUH; she Shanghai'd his ass into submission.
You know the drill; last battle means STEAL is used! Clinton is offered a spot from Adam and Pharrell...-_- REALLY QUEEN?
Clinton picks Adam as his new coach.

All in all, the steps to discovering the eventual Kelly Clarkson of The Voice is becoming both more muddled and idyllic but I remain hopeful that I'll help pick out a winner I actually like from the jump.

Up next for scrutiny, Part IV of the Battle Rounds.

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