Let's play rough and get it on!
The contestants' journey to the final 3 is shown from Blind Auditions onward (Although the deal between Kewpie Doll, the Corny Duo and the de...I'm being told that despite my hatred for them, they apparently got there fair & square.) The coaches begin the show with a performance of some song I really wouldn't look up on Google at the moment (Shit gets real, real quick.)
"Coach's Corner" happened; Adam and Shakira both turned into Calvin Harris & Florence Welch and gave the remaining contestants and the rest of the process of the show each of their sweet nothings. *Note; the formula goes Solo, Reprise, Duet for all 3 even if they debut in different order*
First was the Corny Duo. They sang "I Can't Tell You Why" by The Eagles. It wasn't until I heard the word "eagles" that I tweeted this...
"These eagles won't soar another goddamn minute. Mute buttons at the ready. #AllTAllShade"
Shakira held a flag that read "Go Okies!" as some type of...oh how the fuck am I supposed to know. Shakira, what the fuck was that?! (It's not like she reads this blog, but if she did...gurl NO; NO gurl NO)
It has to be me, but I wish some of the coaches turned into bitches during some of the performances. They apparently thought they were good, but I only heard a little bit before my mute button highlighted them both.
Second, Michelle was tasked with reprising "I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift. I thought it was interesting because as I remember it, she sang 2 or 3 P!nk songs. The underdog thing she works with must've been able to transcend beyond the P!nk songs if Usher thought her rendition of "I Knew You Were Trouble" was the song to reprise. As for the comments, I wasn't able to hear past the crowd. Yeesh, Carson must shiver at nights every time he shows up for an episode.
Third, Kewpie Doll had her duet with Blake. They sang "Timber, I'm Falling in Love" by Patty Loveless, and good GOD was that set design tacky. It looked like a bad imitation of Branson, Missouri and Pee Wee's Playhouse set in the South [aaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!]. Apart from the mute button being on, I have nothing else positive to say about this performance *shaaaaaaaaaaaaade*
Fourth, the Corny Duo was tasked of reprising "Danny's Song" by Kenny Loggins. They didn't soil themselves, so they succeeded with their performance on that level. It reminded me of how bland I found them to be throughout their surprising tenure of the show. Blahda blahda blah blah; the coaches got all "Calvin and Florence" again giving sweet nothings to them. I'll say it for y'all; they sucked. They're bland and they should not win. [How hard is it to say how you really feel; I do this on Blogger and see no problem with this. Yeesh.]
Fifth, Michelle decided to sing "Why" by Annie Lennox. This selection made me afraid, because it reeked high risk, high reward. [Reason? Annie is a legendary artist; lead singer of The Eurythmics and solo legend] However, any slight doubts I had were erased when she was incing for the money notes. Her "Kabuki Committed" singing face was at SpinalTap levels and it was amazing! (Oh Carson, dollface. NEVER refer to Usher as "Ursher" ever again.)
Sixth, the Corny Duo had their turn at a duet with Blake. They sang "Celebrity" by Brad Paisley and had extras in the back; was it a cheeky jesting of the song they were singing? Ew, I acted like I cared about their motivation for singing a song. Ew, ew, ew! Anywho, I forgot that the duets aren't really judged in the same way their reprises and solos are and was waiting for them to be read down the house for something. But alas, the show had to go on.
Seventh, Kewpie Doll was tasked of reprising her rendition of "Maybe It Was Memphis" by Pam Tillis. This apparently qualified as a highlight for her and by the time she returned to the stage I could not be bothered. Whatever; so Blake likes her; I quote Shania Twain, "That Don't Impress Me Much".
Then, the finalists banded together for a group performance. Footage of their journey is looped and is admittedly kind of cute. Kind of cute. Oh but then, they're joined on stage by the rest of the top 16. Oh God, the "feels" from that wonderfully staged fodder moment. Plus side? Sasha! Karina! Caroline! Holly! Amber!
Eighth, Michelle was slated for her duet with Usher (That's "Uh*Shur" not "Urh*sher" as I fear it needs explaining again). They sang "One" by U2 [whether it was the version ft. Mary J. Blige, I don't know]. Their performance was phenomenal as anything else Michelle has done thus far.
Finally, Kewpie Doll existed again when tasked with singing "Born To Fly" by Sara Evans. She was given the "You haven't done anything uptempo yet" schpiel from Blake (She actually hadn't done anything good yet, but "nice try" -_-).
Let me conclude by reminding how proud I am at the fact that neither she or the Corny Duo have gotten my votes. I kept it this way as I found them to be trash. Is it because they're country? No. Holly is country and she doesn't sound like cat-shit. Amber never sounded horrid either as they both can be pop/country. Point blank I hate the Corny Duo and Kewpie Doll and the voting public responsible for their extended tenure.
All in all, despite the fear Michelle could be screwed out of the title, The Voice put out good again. Next up for scrutiny, the finale show (Where we find out the winner at the last 2 minutes or so).