Let's play rough and get it on! As with last week, each of the contestants were given a song by their coach and were asked to not fuck up a song of their choosing.
First up was the Corny Duo of Team Blake. They dedicated "Turn the Page" by Bob Seger to the band that had been playing alongside them. Even I have to admit it was a nice touch of them to dedicate a song to somebody. Still, "No More Swon" is in effect. Zack did have a slight money note moment, but it was another blase performance from a duo I've never voted for and will gladly say I won't have by time the season ends. *Side note: Adam unleashed his "Swon salute" as something else they can use for their corny repertoire. Thanks, Adam. -_-*
Second was Sasha Allen of Team Shakira. She dedicated "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston to her kids. Normally I'd be reading a contestant to filth for kissing Whitney fandom ass, but because of who she dedicated that to, I can't be a total asshole about the selection. Sarah Simmons gown and reverse Ombre hair nightmare aside, Sasha was able to give the song a variation of it that was rather touching.
*PREVIEW OF A SHOW EVEN I WOULDN'T WATCH TIME! So there's this new show called The Winner Is...; concept aside, YouTube celebrity Tyler Oakley is one of the 100 people judging. So it's The Voice meets 1 VS 100 and has Tyler Oakley judging people. Oh look at the time; it's fuck this shit and bitch you be trippin' o'clock. -_-*
Third was Michelle "Amazing Human" of Team Usher. After being shown in her hometown with people smart enough to love her quirky ass, her first song of the night is "Clarity" by Zedd (I don't even want to type that name into Wikipedia). Usher had chosen that song according to the show's Twitter account. That aside, Michelle bitchslapped the song and worked the stage which had a lovely design scheme (It's the only time I've ever thought something looking like a unicorn's brainwaves was a good thing).
Fourth was Kewpie Doll of Team Blake. She sang Blake's choice for her first; "Please Remember Me" by Tim McGraw. I could smell the blase from a mile away and had the mute button on. She then proceeds to get the same undeserved praise from every coach. As usual I don't get her appeal and much like my "voting record" w/ the Corny Duo, I will have never voted for her.
Finally, Amber Carrington of Team Adam closed out round 1; she dedicated the only acceptable Katy Perry song to sing in public, "Firework" to her friends back in TX. Adam looked pleased with himself as she was performing the song. He should have as she sang it so much better than Katy Perry ever could. Blake pissed and moaned that she isn't singing "pure" country music. She's Pop/Country like Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood and there's nothing wrong with that.
First to return was the Corny Duo. They were presented with a "rising star" award by the Oklahoma Music Hall of Fame (Blake won this in '03; that and so much more in the Trivial Pursuit: the Very Few Give a Fuck Edition). They presented more blase realness with their rendition of "Danny's Song" by Kenny Loggins (No, not Will Sasso of MadTV fame; the real one). Even Carson has a connection to the song as it made him exude "feels" for his childhood.
Second back was Sasha Allen. Shakira's choice for her is disco classic "Bad Girls" by Donna Summer. "Disco Diva" realness was served and she dropkicked the hell out of that song. : )
Third back was Kewpie Doll. She dedicated "Who I Am" by Jessica Andrews to family and friends. Carson reported people around him crying but I defer to this tweet...
"Sadly I think Carson meant tears of joy. #AllTAllShade"
Fourth back was Amber. Hometown footage reconnected her with her supporters; boutique workers and family though it did remind her of mother's passing. : ( She still got through a concert held in her hometown and even got a day named in her honor [like some others tonight had]. She sang "Sad" by Maroon 5 (The reason Adam had a paycheck before The Voice). The reviews were favorable for her (Despite Blake throwing shade at Adam's expense again; -_- I swear the hate sex must be beyond intense between them. : P)
Last at bat for the night was Michelle [I swear that was not intentional]. She dedicated "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper to her coach Usher. A bit of a kiss ass move at first and it brought back Javier Colon memories O_O As usual, she bitchslaps the performance and there's even a moment where the clock looks like it breaks in real life. : )
All in all, with hope Team Blake gets axed, The Voice is far and above the ruler of talent shows.