Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Voice U.S. S4 Recap: Results of the Top 5

I awaited the results of operations "No More Kewpie" and "No More Swon" with little faith in the voting public (Kind of how anybody that supported Ralph Nader felt). As only 3 would be declared safe, fodder would be the name of the game. S3's runner up and 3rd place contestants I never voted for, Terry "the Scottish one" McDermott and Nicholas David showed up to perform alongside S2's 3rd place contestant Tony "X-Tina hates me" Lucca.

Let's play rough and get it on!

Before the results and true fodder began, Fall Out Boy pimped their most recent song "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)" [how brevity laden -_-] and even had Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel help them out. I learned something of the lead singer; he can shimmy and work his ankles with the best of them O_O.

"Coach's Corner" went like this; Amber's genre diversity, Sasha's multi-faceted existence, Michelle's quirkiness/confidence boosting through the show and Blake's banking off of the tone deaf voting public were brought up (That last part may have been embellished -_-). Nicholas David then took the stage and my mute button brought out the best of his voice *shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade* Watching him, I was repulsed at how he was trying to serve "Olsen Twin Gone Creamy Cracked Out" realness. BO-Hell No you di'int. BO-Hell NO you di'int.

The first person moving on to the finale is...Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel! O_O This is a moment of sheer victory. Whether this victory would be continuous was yet to be determined.

Fodder time struck again as Tony Lucca debuted his new song "Never Gonna Let You Go"...however, the sting of Katrina Parker losing to him erased the good that he no longer strains his voice whilst singing. He reveals that Adam signed him to his record label, 222 Records, has an EP due July 16th and is touring with Maroon 5 in September (Now you can cross him off the "Where the fuck are they now?" list). Then, the contestants became a Poison cover band when they sang "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". No one can really suck singing it, so not much to say. Yes, it's surprising, but I say; get over yourself.

Second saved is...Kewpie Doll. So much for celebrating tonight. Maybe "No More Kewpie" will work as a tool to prevent Team Blake from taking a 3rd straight title. Ah, wishful thinking.

The fodder came to as Terry McDermott debuted his new single, "Pictures". Hard to think he shared oxygen with that she-devil who won S3 on Team Blake. His set was a touch tacky but his song doesn't seem to suck. According to Carson, this song had at some point hit #1 on the iTunes Rock Charts. *golf claps* It was nice to see Blake have good things to say about a non-country artist he mentored. Enough of that gooey shit; it ruins the finish of the floor.

Finally...the Corny Duo moves on to the finale alongside Michelle and Kewpie Doll.

BOOTED: Amber Carrington & Sasha Allen. T_T With those verdicts, Adam and Shakira won't win the S4 crown.

Amber wasn't my favorite of Team Adam, but she ascended high into the Top 5 as the biggest Dark Horse contestant in show memory. Respect must be given for someone who had the deck stacked against her when HRFH was still on Team Adam.
Sasha's elimination was painful. She was one of the best contestants in show history and she and Amber should have advanced instead of that damn Kewpie Doll and Corny Duo.

Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel is the last chance to topple that gravy sweating monstrosity known as Team Blake from winning and letting Usher win the S4 crown.

All in all, even if The Voice is better than Idle...err Idol or the X Factor, this results show mainly hurt. Up next for scrutiny, the finale show [not to be confused with the finale + fodder show next Tuesday].

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