Sunday, May 19, 2013

Kelis must be incorporated w/ The Voice U.S.

After cranking Kelis' debut album, Kaleidoscope, for at least the 8th consecutive time this weekend (Exacerbation or no, it is a fucking glorious album) I realized something. Not one of Kelis' songs has ever been performed on The Voice U.S. yet [the closest that got was Chevonne auditioning with a song Kelis covered in S3; "Brass In Pocket" by The Pretenders.]

Just a primer for Kelis to understand...yes she's known for "Milkshake" from her 3rd album, Tasty, alongside "Bossy" ft. Too $hort from her 4th album, Kelis Was Here. However, she was also responsible for the underrated gems "Caught Out There" (The one where she screams "I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!") from Kaleidoscope, "Young, Fresh N' New" from her 2nd album, Wanderland [which Virgin Records America stupidly deprived the U.S. of for "not getting" the album. -_-] and all of her 2010 album Flesh Tone. In other words, she's an artist who management fuck-ups aside is versatile and creative. The fact that no one on The Voice U.S. has auditioned with any of her songs is shameful.

Here's a track listing of songs by her that need to be incorporated with The Voice U.S. and reasons why.

- "Caught Out There"; specifically the version she performed for UK Talk Show Later...with Jools Holland. The original will suffice as well. The reason this needs to be performed is because, the energy exuded in this has the potential for an artist to skyrocket in votes.

- "Get Along With You"; specifically her rendition of the song at the 2000 European Music Awards (The VMAs with Euro class and trash of their own). The original will be acceptable as well. The reason this needs to be performed is because, the piano accompaniment can have an artist show off a new facet to themselves and skyrocket in votes.*

*Skyrocket in votes will be a recurring theme*

- "Game Show"; any excuse for stage presence boosting alongside a Dating Game style set is perfect reason for this song to be incorporated. That and it would help an artist skyrocket in votes.

- "Young Fresh N' New"; the reason is because this could be used for an artist who's being nudged towards an up-tempo song for stage presence boosting. Alongside some sweet money note chances, this one could really skyrocket an artist's votes.

- "Mr. U.F.O. Man" ft. John Ostby; intended for the Gospel inspired who needs a selection to branch out on. Proper money note moments and a little bit of stage presence can make this a week for skyrocketing votes.

- "Suspended"; be forewarned: this is only to be used if the artist needs a more "haunting" performance. A slight misstep and the crowd could grow bored. If done right, it'd be the most vulnerable and haunting performance that artist would ever have. ["Skyrocket"]

- "Milkshake"; despite the love/hate relationship I have with the song, if an artist is being told to loosen up and have fun on the show, this song will do the trick. Just make sure there's no gigantic goddamn milkshake is on the stage; that would make it tacky. ["Skyrocket"]

- "Trick Me"; from the same album as "Milkshake", this song would help an artist needing help with consistency/rhythmic issues. Sass is a bit of a prerequisite for this, although if sass is the critique this song can help with that as well. ["Skyrocket"]

- "Lil' Star"; from the same album as "Bossy", this song is Cee-Lo bait as he guest stars in this song. Also this song would help an artist who's been told to slow their role with the up-tempo selections. ["Skyrocket"]

Flesh Tone is Kelis' most cohesive album so really any of the songs can be up for grabs [give or take the "Intro" or "Song for the Baby"]...

- "Acapella"; this song could be used with an artist who thrives on a high brow concept. As long as the performance isn't fucked with the singing, this is "Skyrocket" worthy in the right hands.

- "Brave"; the original or the acoustic Cherrytree Sessions version [with added lyric, "I drove an old-school Beamer {BMW}; You drove an 18-wheeler; with nuclear bombs, slowly dropping them down for fun."]

- "Scream"/"Emancipate"/"22nd Century"/"Home"; these songs on their own are a bit tricky, but with a high brow concept, stage presence and close to pitch perfect singing these are guaranteed "Skyrockets" in votes.

If anybody has the balls to even think of this song, be warned. It is one of my favorite songs of all time. I've called this song one of the best songs EVER RECORDED.

- "4th of July (Fireworks)"; this song has everything to it for an artist to shine. However, these are steps to take caution with:

DO NOT FUCK UP THE SINGING; one sour note and you ruin any hope for votes.

Absolutely NO boring/cliched concepts; tricky because anybody probably thought of a "concept" for the song from the title. DON'T pull that shit or you ruin your chances of success.

Proper singing and stage excellence can make this the song an artist emerges as the winner of The Voice U.S.

No comments:

Post a Comment