Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Voice U.S. S4 Recap: Top 12 Performances

After "mourning" the ones I liked from last week's show, the Top 12 moved on into "Every last motherfucker" for themselves mode. Let's play rough and get it on! *Side note: The A/C is busted for a little and Carson doesn't shut up about it; rrrrrrrrrrgh.*

First up, from Team Usher, VEDO. His song selection is "Rock With You" by Michael Jackson. He's in a bit of trouble as MJ songs can lead to rather unoriginal feeling performances. VEDO's challenge was to incorporate his signature into an MJ song; cut to his performance and it was decent. Keep in mind the "Whitney" rule for MJ and foreshadow alert! Oh and for some reason he and other performers decided to wear leather in SoCal heat with a busted A/C. -_- ; "Gurl NO; NO; Gurl NO!"

Second, from Team Blake, Holly Tucker. Her song selection is "A Broken Wing" by Martina McBride. Her challenge is to simply not fuck up. She succeeds in not fucking up a song by one of the most respected women in Country music. Blake fawns over her and she's done for the night (and hoping to Christ at that point that it wouldn't be hot as hell anymore.) with my votes toward her.

Third, from Team Shakira, Garrett Gardner. He's tasked with the song that haunted Dez Duron for at least a year before he made it on S3; "I Want It That Way" by The Backstreet Boys. What transpired was the most...baffling live show performance of recent memory. It's a pissed off version of a boy band song that left people with a "what the fuck was that?" sentiment. Garrett was given some credit for the risk (As Audrey Karrasch was in the Knockouts; foreshadow alert!) and vamoosed his ass off the stage just so he could feel a breeze.

The A/C is fixed, but as warned...Carson never shuts up about how hot as hell it was.

Fourth, from Team Adam, Sarah Simmons. She's tasked with "The Story" by VH1 You Oughta Know Artist from 2007 Brandi Carlile. This was to see if Sarah could break from her power ballad comfort zone (And not sound like utter cat-shit). Cut to her performance and good news; she's rather decent for this performance. That ends right when she goes for her money moments and fails to cash in completely with them. However, this is actually her best performance to date.

Fifth, from Team Blake, The Corny Duo with the Terrible Puns. It's decided that they are going to pay homage to recently deceased Country legend, George Jones (Who achieved pop culture immortality by getting a DUI on a fucking John Deere tractor. It's not too soon if it's something this legendary) by singing his song "Who's Gonna Fill Their Shoes". Due to the fact that it's a tribute performance, I cannot judge it and will simply say, nicely done you two.

Sixth, from Team Shakira, Sasha Allen. She's given "Alone" by Heart (Is "Barracuda" too much to ask for? I mean, fucking really.) and is told not to be too "Broadway" [while the next shot is of all she did on Broadway; I see that shady shit, Voice producers and I commend you to an extent]. Her performance is decent in her regards, but still good compared to the others. While it was a teency "theater" (Not Broadway or Kabuki level ridiculous) Sasha still turned it out and earned my votes.

Seventh, from Team Usher, Josiah Hawley. He's given the cursed song for males, "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script (Famous for taking out David Dunn of S2 and James Irwin of this season in the Blind Auditions). Initially, I thanked Usher so much for this *shaaaaaaaaaaaade* However, Josiah wasn't read the house down; in fact he was told that was his best performance to date O_O You have failed me, cursed song for males.

Eighth, from Team Blake, was Kewpie Doll extra..."extraordinaire", Danielle Bradbery. Her song selection is to pretty much ensure her "Sing 10 Carrie Underwood Songs & Get a Free BBQ Lunch" card got punched. This time, she's given "Wasted" to sing. As usual she shows off what's intended to be a ridiculously good range and has Blake happier than a dog up a goddamn bone tree. Moving on from that it's...

(Oh goddamnit) Ninth, from Team Adam, cultural polyp Judith Hill. She was tasked with singing "You've Got A Friend" by Carole King. Because of her sour note in a Nina Simone song last week, all I will do is quote my shadiest tweet about her to date...

"At least the piano has a pretty voice. #AllTAllShade"

Tenth, from Team Usher, Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel. She was tasked with singing "Call Your Girlfriend" by Robyn. She was tasked with tackling this rather upbeat [understatement] track to show versatility. The lack of floral print on Michelle for this song aside, she's actually good despite the band being cranked to 11. She earned my votes once again. : )

Eleventh, from Team Shakira, Kris Thomas. His song selection was "I'll Be There" by The Jackson 5. He was pretty much told "Do not end up 'Fender Ketchup' this week." and he sang a rather decent version of the song. He didn't get my votes, but really I could see him going far.

Finally, from Team Adam, Amber Carrington. Her song selection was "I'm Gonna Love You Through It" by Martina McBride. A country choice that she executed rather well. Not her best, but worthy of my votes [serving as the new favorite from Team Adam].

All in all, despite you know who, another good show. Up next for scrutiny, the results for the Top 12.

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