Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Voice U.S. S4 Recap: Live Playoffs Part 1

After a clip show where everyone got to have the montage treatment, the first S4 Live show had 7 performances and 1 over-hyped former Michael Jackson backup singer (So many to narrow down, huh?). Let's play rough and get it on! Team Adam and Team Usher were on the receiving end of the Live Playoff Baptism of Fire.

First, up from Team Adam, dark horse contender Amber Carrington. She's given "Stay" by Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko. A bold non-Country song choice? O_O She actually proceeds to deliver a rather good version of the song. It didn't exactly make up for defeating Sasha or sending Midas Whale to the coast of Japan (Whaling joke) but she maintained her dark horse status beautifully.

Second, from Team Usher, Josiah "Really?! He beat Jess Kellner? O_O" Hawley. He's assigned "Starlight" by Muse (A group I don't keep up with, but apparently has fans who wanted Josiah burned at the stake well before he sang this). His rendition, while decent [only because he didn't soil himself, cry or forget the lyrics] was met with mixed feedback from the coaches. He was noted as being a heartthrob (Something Dez Duron of S3 got w/o much singing praise either) so there's that. -_-

Third, from Team Adam, Sarah Simmons (Who for the record, only gets flack from me for her Blind Audition and how terrible it was to me). She proceeds to sing a song now closely associated with beaten, neglected, dying and just plain sad puppies, kittens, dogs and cats ["Angel" by Sarah McLachlan just in case my no assed attempt at subtext went all esoteric on your ass]. This song is labeled as her comfort zone because of her "angelic" tone (Which at first sounded like it fell from the fucking Taipei 101). She proceeds to verge on sobbing during the performance, but pulls her shit together long enough for me to notice a tad of Florence Welch realness in her voice [Florence Welch being the "Florence" in Florence + The Machine...just in case you forgot -_-].

Fourth, from Team Usher, reformed puta Cáthia. After learning her lesson [at least with attitude] she's given "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston. If the phrase, "Holy shit, she is screwed!" entered your head, you are not alone. It's one thing to sing Whitney in public called kissing Whitney fandom ass but for a show like The Voice, unless you are Trevin Hunte (S3), you will not benefit from this "High risk; high reward" formula. While decent, Cáthia sets herself up for destruction as decent just never cuts it for a Whitney Houston song.

Fifth, from Team Adam, (Poltergeist Dr. voice) Caroline Glaser. She's given "The A Team" by atypical ginger sex machine, Ed Sheeran. She's forced to deal with the whole "belter" mess again and I have to remind you all; Caroline is self-aware enough to know she isn't a "belter" and works with that. I respect her so much for that. Anywho, her subtle laced performance is something I never thought I liked but did. Good on you, Caroline and I'm proud to say I voted for you.

Sixth, from Team Usher, VEDO. His sob story was not featured and I thought, "FINALLY! I can hear what the fuss is about over him." He's assigned "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins (Yes the one who fucked with Timmy and the Lords of The Underworld, Phil Collins). Cut to his performance where he actually creates a moment for himself. Granted I didn't vote for him [honesty is a better policy than most car insurance companies have to offer even with Flo's help] he still delivered a decent performance.

Seventh, from Team Usher [ERMAHGERD O_O a switch in the pattern? How bold. -_-] Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel. She's assigned 80s pop staple "True Colors" by Cyndi Lauper. Cut to her performance where she dropkicks the fuck out of that performance. From the singing to the eye contact [even the absence of her "move"] she was goddamn flawless that night. Adam pretty much declared this her moment. Good on you for not being totally myopic, Adam (Even though the last member of Team Adam would prove he would go right back to being myopic).

Last (And always least to me and those who hate overrated former Michael Jackson backup singers), Judith Hill. She decides to work my last nerve and dare pick "Feeling Good" by Nina Simone (Who is pretty much a musical version of the Greek goddess, Athena. Full of wisdom and not afraid to smite a bitch who dares fuck with her.) On top of that, Judith works full "VoteForTheWorst" realness in 2 ways:

1. Her hair sported a mushroom similar to the ones Adam has been ingesting by keeping this bitch around. "All T, All Shade"

2. She had balls to sing a capella for the first part of the song and hit a sour note in the process.

That is what had me tweet "I am DONE with you" when it came to ever hoping for redeeming qualities in Judith. Then as I feared, the coaches ate it up like fucking Christmas dinner (Which made me vomit on the inside). This phrase was uttered out loud at one point.; "You took us to church!" If that was the intent, I became an atheist.

All in all, despite Judith Hill royally botching her number (Remember it's MrSwearword V.S. Everyone), The Live Playoffs added another successful show to their run. Next up for scrutiny, The Live Playoffs Part 2.

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