Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The Voice U.S. S4 Recap: Blind Auditions Part 6

6 more singers and The Blind Auditions came to a close. So much having to take in and not enough shit to purge out quickly. Play rough and get it on!

The last round of Blind Auditions kicked off with Venice lead singer, Mark Lennon. This one made Carson's eyes light up with excitement as he revealed he had seen them years ago. As it came time for his audition, Carson activated his inner "fantard" (Thanks to VoteForTheWorst for inventing that. Sorry about the potential shutdown, but I love you guys so much) and watched Mark become a no chair turn. Carson expressed disgust in his own "Carsonian" way (Not off camera disgust with TRL level disgust, but pissed off on the inside about hosting TRL level disgust). Don't fret; he's still in it, in Venice Beach, CA (Shit Creek w/o a paddle and his band Venice). There's always Season 5, Mark.

Second was ballet dancer (Black Swan remarks and Wayne Brady's gonna have to choke a bitch) turned singer, Jacqui Sandell who sang "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac. She managed a 2 Chair Turn (Neither of which came from Adam. Jess, Caroline and now Jacqui getting a no from Adam means he used up his "Royal Fuck Up Rewards Card" Salud! -_-) Between Usher and Blake, she picks Blake. Oh your taste sometimes scares me. Blake finishes first (Won't be the first or last time that's been said) in building his team. Third was Pop/Country hopeful, Amber Carrington who somehow gets through on a Carrie Underwood song [this time, "Good Girl"]. She sets herself up to be a diamond in the rough by breaking the Carrie curse this season and I actually liked her to a degree. Adam ends up finishing after Blake (Something "Shevine" shippers know all too well : P) with building his team.

Fourth up and final reject of The Voice S4, Dustin Hatzenbuhler (I'll tell you what I told Anna Mae Bullock; get a goddamn stage name!) His song choice, "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Bublé is indicative of poor taste; compound that with an underwhelming rendition, and Dustin is to shuffle away. Suggestion for a stage name: Dustin Tophat. Makes sense; kind of. Anything but Hatzenbuhler is fabulous. Fifth up, is Luke Edgemon giving some Gospel and secular musician realness. His rendition of "I Can't Make You Love Me" (How fitting, since I don't) is enough to have Shakira and Usher fight for him. He chooses Shakira and she's done with building her team.

Finally, Amber Riley Jessica Childress gets to the stage and is so charismatic Adam says, "I wanna marry her." (You dare piss off "Shevine" shippers with that statement?) Her rendition of "Marry You" by Bruno Mars (A phrase that won't come out of his mouth anytime soon. Though he thinks he should've bought you flowers, held your hand and taken you to dance more.) is just what Usher needs to finish building his team.

All in all, despite me having to type "Hatzenbuhler" here and on Twitter when I watched it, I loved the Blind Auditions again. I just have funny ways of showing it. Next up for scrutiny, The Battle Rounds Part 1.

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