Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Voice U.S. S4 Recap: Knockouts Part 1

Since S3, the knockout format showed off new sides of artists that became phenoms (e.g. - Cody Belew in his miraculous performance of "Jolene" by Dolly Parton) and showed that complacency is recipe for disaster. S4 debuted with pretty much the same message until the fifth matchup. Play rough and let's get it on!

This was the knockouts for Team Adam and Team Shakira.

First up, Team Adam's Amber Carrington against Midas Whale. This looked like trouble for Amber, but if you remember her battle, then foreshadow alert O_O. Amber decides to sing "I'm With You" by Avril Lavigne (A song Cassadee Pope ruined; "All T, All Shade") and makes it less "Pope" sounding which is a good thing. Midas Whale sang "Higher Ground" by Stevie Wonder and gets praise for their unique take on the song. Then, Adam surprises everyone by picking Amber (A decision that had Lyndsey Parker's knickers in a goddamn sheepknot). Admittedly, I wanted Midas Whale to win, but Amber ascended into dark horse territory by defeating her much favored opponent again. I had formed a new respect for her at that point.

Second, was Team Shakira's comeback kid, Garrett Gardner against Tawnya Reynolds. Out of those two I did like Garrett better. He sang "Too Close" by Alex Clare (That Internet Explorer advertisement song) while Tawnya sang "Hell on Heels" by The Pistol Annies forgetting that despite the same amount of makeup they have, Shakira is not Blake. "Shaki's" soft spot for Garrett alongside mine, along with his performance is enough to have him declared the winner of this knockout.

Third, was Team Adam's double montage victim, Amy Whitcomb against (Poltergeist Dr. voice) Caroline Glaser. Amy picked "The House of The Rising Sun" by The Animals. Caroline picked "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men. Music taste edge went to Caroline; "Little Talks" is how you say...fucking awesome! The knockout commences, and Amy hit a shitload of sour notes in the beginning leaving herself tiger fucked until a magical moment at the end. That magic was trumped by Caroline's consistent albeit safe rendition of her song. Adam ends up declaring Caroline the winner and Amy is sent home.

Fourth, Team Shakira's Kris "Call me Kardashian & I Cut You" Thomas V.S. Mary Miranda. Kris picks "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong (No, not that walking Summer's Eve prick on a bike; "Satchmo"...look it up on Google or ask a retirement home.) Mary decides to sing the deliciously tacky stalker anthem, "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. Mary's rationale? It helped her improve with English. O_O The knockout commences and despite Kris serving "Mariah Octave" realness he's able to prevail over Mary who apparently had troubles with the melody despite how hard she tried. Kris is declared the winner and Mary is sent home.

Fifth, another "Good V.S. Evil" match as Orlando Dixon was next to try and slay Judith Hill (You know I hate her to pieces, so keep seething. It's admittedly cute : ) ) Judith selects "Always on My Mind" by Willie Nelson and Orlando picks 90s prom classic "All My Life" by K-Ci & JoJo. Per usual, she gets undeserved praise for her "effortless" singing ability (Might I suggest the use of effortless in its actual context with Judith? > : ) ) while Orlando doesn't go down without a fight. As I long suspected from her battle round victory, Adam is using Judith to siphon Michael Jackson votes as she is declared the winner. Orlando should've been given a chance, but Adam is desperate to win S4 to where he will screw good artists to do that.

Sixth up, Team Shakira's newest member Karina Iglesias against Monique Abbadie. This seemed like a tough one again, but when Karina picked "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" by Lenny Kravitz it was decided there (That and Monique picking "The Power of Love" as CĂ©line Dion did it, I said..."Gurl NO; NO; Gurl NO".) Cut to the knockout and Karina is bitchslapping Monique off the Petronas Towers with her performance. Monique tried her best, but it wasn't enough. Before Karina was declared the winner, she got unjust critiques that it was too one-dimensional in presence and flat. Really? Bitches Please. One-dimensional presence and flat is bad, yet Judith gets off scot free? J'accuse motherfuckers...j'accuse.

Seventh up, Team Adam's Warren Stone V.S. Sarah Simmons. Because of the bad taste I couldn't get out of my mouth of her Blind Audition, I was rooting for Warren. Foreshadow alert, I once again don't agree with the coaches. Warren picks "(I Just) Died in Your Arms" by Cutting Crew (Fun fact: that song title is derived from a Shakespeare way of saying, "I jizzed in my pants".) Sarah picks "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones. I swear up and down this was the song that screwed Jordis Unga in S2. Cut to the battle and Warren unleashes his best money note. O_O That was before Sarah came up and benefited from the coaches having unchecked earwax again and proceeded to win the match. > : (

Finally, Team Shakira's Sasha Allen V.S. Shawna Joplin P. Sasha has always landed on my good side as an artist. She picked "At Last" by Etta James and Shawna picked "Maybe I'm Amazed" by The Beatles. Cut to the knockout and Sasha came from the heavens to dropkick Shawna out of the running. Her rendition of "At Last" gave me goosebumps and I was so thrilled [as was "Shaki" who got goosebumps twice]. Shawna really couldn't follow that, but she tried and sounded less like a Janis Joplin knockoff (FINALLY). After throwing shade to Adam for letting Sasha go, she was declared the winner and Shawna P was sent home.

All in all, because of Sasha, this was the most satisfying episode to date. Next for scrutiny, the Knockouts Part 2.

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