The Voice U.S. S4 Recap: Results of the Live Playoffs

The first results show had some interesting choice of filler material; yet I say, let's not give a fuck about that and get right into the results. Play rough and let's get it on!

Team Blake was the first team to find out who of them would be going home.

The public ended up saving Holly Tucker [yay!] and that damned Kewpie Doll, Danielle Bradbery. As long as Holly was safe, I didn't care that much about the others.

The Corny Duo with The Terrible Puns and Justin Rivers were up for elimination. Critics were sort of surprised The Corny Duo didn't get the vote because of their "Non-threatening" party vibe. Blake gave his sweet nothings "You made it this far; be proud no matter what" spiel and eventually saves The Corny Duo. Good try, Justin; beating The Morgan Twins and Savannah Berry were your moments of glory.

Team Shakira was the next team to find out who of them was being sent out like express mail.

The public ended up saving Sasha Allen [duh, because she was fucking magical] and Kris Thomas. Him being announced as a public vote was a shock, as critics thought he would've been saved by "Shaki".

Karina Iglesias and Garrett Gardner are up for elimination and Shakira loses her shit. She reveals that she had trouble sleeping, put names in a paper bag leaving it to God (Sorry mija, but he was a bit too busy putting Tim Tebow on Heaven's Do Not Call registry) and pretty much feeling a shitload of guilt over this. Admittedly this made sense because in my opinion, she had the strongest team by then (Read as "nobody on that team made me want a criminal record"). Eventually she saved Garrett because he had a lot to learn and she was willing to coach him (Read as "her soft spot for Garrett was kind of wet by then"). Karina earned votes of mine because she was fucking magical as well. Buena suerte, Karina.

Team Usher was third in finding out who was getting pushed from the womb known as The Voice S4.

Michelle "Amazing Human" Chamuel achieved nerd to mainstream ascension by being chosen first! (What's it like, Michelle? Is it amazing?) VEDO was saved next and I could live with that.

Cáthia and Josiah Hawley were in the bottom and faced being eliminated. Initially I hoped Josiah was getting cut [mainly so that could be retribution for the fall of Jess Kellner] because his rendition of "Starlight" was bland yet terrible. Yet I remember that Cáthia's rendition of "I Have Nothing" was underwhelming for a Whitney Houston song. That "cardinal sin" is ultimately what did her in as Usher saved Josiah. Buena suerte, Cáthia.

Finally, Team Adam found out who would be ousted from the competition.

Keeping this quote from Daria in mind ("Come on; you know wishes don't come true." from the episode "The Misery Chick") I was sad to learn America saved Judith Hill first. Surprisingly, Amber Carrington gained her 3rd straight Dark Horse title by being saved by the public vote. Go Amber!

Sarah Simmons deserved this and (Poltergeist Dr. voice) Caroline Glaser were in the bottom 2. Adam apparently never saw this coming [even though he had ample time to prepare for every combo possible -_-]. After being rushed by Carson so Law & Order could run on schedule (Wow; what organized priorities, right? -_-) he blurted out Sarah's name; BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Caroline earned every one of my votes cast for her. She had subtlety in her singing that I learned to love so dearly. She had every right to be on the show, no matter how much Lyndsey Parker favored Sarah [initially I thought it was just her hating Caroline, but she did tell me Caroline was not awful but Sarah being sent home in that scenario to her would've been "a travesty".]

All in all, no matter how sad I was that Caroline and Karina were sent home, The Voice is still better than the other show.